A fascinating Christmas haul.
Two pieces of completely banal and unrelated business for your perusal:
1. The 2006 Christmas bonanza:
- fake tigerskin rug, complete with terrifyingly bulbous head
- digital camera*
- copy of Charles Bukowski's The Most Beautiful Woman In Town, with heartbreakingly special inscription
- racy red underwear set
- Harriet the Spy on audio tape
- 'ethnic' cushion
- red lipstick
- ankle strap for non-existent boogie board**
- guitar
- chocolate
- high-tech looking vibrator
- Boobs in a box.
ARE THESE NOT THE PERFECT INGREDIENTS FOR A NIGHT IN WITH A NAKED LOVED ONE?
Mystifying. A guitar? I honestly have no idea what I'm supposed to do with that. Perhaps I shall pen a few protest songs in preparation for the next IR demonstration and impress all my lefty friends with my 'realness'.
*I actually really, really wanted this, though hadn't dare tell anyone. Who the fuck gets exactly what they want for Christmas? I'll tell you: spoilt only children, that's who. Next year I'm going all out and asking for a pony.
**My cousin Gavin really has no idea who I am, does he? Jesus.
2. Horror in the blogosphere:
Your friend and mine Mr Lefty had a fucking awful Christmas present when he awoke to find some cockrag had hacked his blog and deleted the entire content. You can read the full story here, but in the interim update your Anonymous Lefty and Boltwatch links to here and here. Shocking business, isn't it? Some people just shouldn't be allowed near a computer.
Be nice, now.
317 days til the next election.
Comments
Sweet haul. I got a C.W. Stoneking CD and 3 days in my brother's backyard in Brisbane drinking light beer and listening to my other brother play his own songs, my silent, piteous cries for help forever unheeded.
What is an 'ethnic' cushion?
Hate to be a pedant Ms Fits, but boogie boards have arm leashes not leg ropes.
Make sure you use it between the flags unless of course you want to be rescued by some young beefcake from the surf club.
Perhaps I would be aware of that interesting fact IF I OWNED A BOOGIE BOARD, BROKENLEG.
Why would he get me an arm leash? Why??
A leash is not just for boogie boards fer chrissakes.
you're creative, get thinkihng...
thomasr
PS if you want a boogie board, I can help. I am sending 'er indoors OUTDOORS for surfing lewssons in january. She got a wetsuit for xmas...
Thanks Fits. Most appreciated.
PS Good haul.
All I got was a bottle of absinthe, and that was from my mum. Clearly she knows me too well...
"Make sure you use it between the flags unless of course you want to be rescued by some young beefcake from the surf club."
Err, can I borrow your boogie board if you ever get one, Fits? I sense some reckless non-flagged swimming coming on...
Fer Christs sake, I can't believe some e-tool would hack that blog! Some people really need to be covered with honey and thrown to fire ants.
Good haul, my dear. I got a mug for beer from my friends mom. It has an ice chamber in the center so your beer will not get warm. I thought it was rather charming of her to think that a beer would ever last me long enough to get warm. She's a sweet woman, and I a drunkard.
They would definitely make for a very different night in with a naked lover...
tigerskin rug,
digital camera,
red underwear,
'ethnic' cushion,
lipstick,
ankle/wrist strap,
chocolate,
vibrator...
An extremely interesting night in...
Happy New Year Fits.
Fits.
Moving the vibrator up and down the strings of your new guitar could result in some interesting sounds!.......
Paainfree - do you mean like this bloke? Check out the song Apparatus.
*Stands on keyboard, makes devil's sign*
Hello Ms Fits! Are you ready to ROCK?
*Sigh*
It's not quite the same rocking out virtually!
groverjones, painfree
reeves gabrels was doing this in the late 80s/early 90s with david bowie's tin machine
just a heads up if yer into the whole sex-toy as acumpaniment (sic) shtick.
ps. nice haul, fits. merry etc.
pps. where do i send my celeb death bucks for gough in 2007? i will cry, but (ahem) it's time.
...and I'm back!
AnonymousLefty and BoltWatch have both been restored at their original URLs.
It took six days, but they got there in the end. Now I've just got to annoy everyone by asking them to change their links back...
Comments are closed.