Reasons you will hate me

A funny thing happened on the way to prison.

'Thank you, thank you. You're a beautiful crowd. That's Richard C Parker, Comedy Cabaret. Try the veal, it's terrific. Did I ever tell you about the cubical seed? You'll love this one. You'll love it. It's a killer.
Once there was a cubical seed lying in a triangular forest. He buried himself in the spherical earth and went to sleep. Years later, he woke up, discovered what he had become, and exclaimed, "Gee I'm a tree!" HAHAHA! ZING!'



'..........'



'Not a maths crowd? You don't like maths? That's all good. It's all good. Any out-of-towners here tonight? Yeah, I'm an out-of-towner. I'm foreign. My father was from Iceland and my mother was from Cuba. I'm an Ice Cube. HAHAHA! ZING!'




'...........'




'Woah, is this thing on? HAHA! Richard C Parker, Comedy Cabaret. Did I mention the veal? How about art? You like art? Sure, we like art. Richard C Parker, yes indeedy do.
You hear about the guy, stole some paintings from the Louvre? Oh man, was this guy dumb. He plans the crime, he breaks in, bypasses security and scrams with the paintings...only to have his van run out of petrol. I mean, woah! Then when the cops ask him 'what's up with that?', he says "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
HAHAHA! 'DEGAS'! ALL KILLER, NO FILLER! RICHARD C PARKER! ZING! ARE WE READY TO LAUGH?'




'............'


'I'll see myself out.'



800 days til the next election.

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