A girl in need of a tourniquet.
An update to yesterday's fish story.
You died. The only thing left to do was save Me.
The man at the shop passed on strict instructions as to how keep Me alive. It involved taking Me out of the tank, cleaning gravel, changing water, adding conditioner, making Me more comfortable and safe.
I talked to Me the whole time I was doing this.
Eventually it was time to slowly and carefully re-introduce Me to the tank.
All seemed well. Things were looking up for Me.
There were more things to do in the interim. Broken alternator on the car, busted tv, hemorrhaging bank account. Lots of running around and listless domestication.
Heartbreakingly, it had all been too much for Me.
I found Me floating lifelessly in the water.
I cried for Me.
I actually sat in front of the tank sobbing and saying: 'Poor Me' out loud, through hiccups of tears.
This is a true story.
Yesterday sucked on so many levels.
591 days til the next election.
Comments
tourniquet? sounds like you've had enough pressure applied on top of the wound, fits ...
hey, you and me are together.
and neptune can just fuck off.
what a cunt.
r
This is why I will never have fish again.
Just when you get attached to them the little buggers cark it.
Condolences.
please let this be a lesson to all of us:
'you' and 'me' are the most depressing pet names ever.
please stick to naming animals after your favourite writers from now on.
Me couldn't live without You.
That's so sad. I bawled my eyes out too the last time one of my pets died. *sympathy hug and beer*
I COMPLETELY understand.
i had gert for two years... we were friends, a beautiful golden treasure in a bowl. i wasnt the best owner, he knew that and loved me anyway. followed me around the bowl.
he may have had a body image complex or two from the distortion of the bowl, and i lovely retorted whenever anyone exclaimed 'look how fat he is!' "its the bowl, shh he's getting a complex". one day it all got too much. he was fading. i cleaned his bowl, did all i could. at one point i was blowing in to the bowl with a straw... breathe Gert breath...
he gave one last goodbye with a fin and a bubble, and was gone.
i took me a while to recover. a new house and two new fish. franny and zooey, came and went. franny first, then zooey. dead. after only one month.
another new house and i currently have pierrot and velveteen. things seem to be going ok for them.
i hope they last...
good luck fits, replace them carefully. gert was from brunswick st pets. the newy's are from the pet shop neearr the market. (dont go to the one in the market)
I won a goldfish in the Lucky Dip at the Mater Dei fete in Toowoomba in 1988. We had a small pond (with waterfall feature - the house was designed by someone who was like, *totally* into the 70s) in the front yard and I dumped the poor guy in there. The pond had no protection from the elements or the neighbours' cats ... but the fish was a survivor: against all odds - predatory felines, inclement weather, not being fed, any semblance of cleaning or maintenance, the fish lived, nay, thrived. I think we even bought him some other fish friends at one stage. Whom he promptly ate.
The fish was never even named.
Just goes to show ...
And after all this, you still find time to update your blog.
I salute you. And hope your week gets better. At least get by until Friday, please?
I feel your pain. I have a tragic fish history. I wont go into all the painful details but I recently lost Ada and Bronwyn who had been with me for five and a half years.
*wipes tears*
*sends heart-felt condolences*
Chin up Ms Fits.
You still have Gabi and she still has Ms Fits (I was going to say you, but it could have been misconstrued as You rather than you. That would have been a bit heartless).
*searches for more up beat things to say*
Aren't we having bonza weather?
thanks for your many piscine condolences. You're right, I still have Gabi. And we should really stop being creeped out by the notion of burying Me next to You in the front yard.
I'm going to change the subject.
Questions for Friday:
Pursuant to the band name 'The Whirled Accordion to Garp', I've been shot down on this suggestion. Obviously other band members lack the insight to truly appreciate the delicate irony and nuance. And also, we don't have an accordion, although I do have about 10 blues harps in a range of keys. Any ideas on how to get my own way? Ideas for another name?
Toby, FRIDAY QUESTIONS GO IN THE FRIDAY Q AND A COMMENT THREAD.
*dusts shelves with a pinched expression*
Fish names are the best because you can give them outrageously silly names that you would never give a dog or cat (that you like). Some of my favourite shave been Gillface, Chief Longpoo, Sir Eatsalot, Mr. Spiffy (Siamese fighting fish) and that old teen-angst classic, Mumsabitch.
Yamez Bamez
Fuck. I'm sorry. I was just trying not think about fish.
Aren't we all, Toby. Aren't we all.
Nobody knew and loved You like Me.
Also, Chief Longpoo is just about the best name ever.
SHOULD THOSE TWO SENTENCES EVER GO TOGETHER?
Methinks there is foul play at foot.
afoot, afoot.
There are fowl playing at my feet.
Ms Fits,
You need cheering up.
Click here for a happy pet photo.
I to think I actually shampooed my dog manually today, like a chump. Dishwasher for the dishlicker from now on.
My pet fish, as a child, had the original names of Bit and Bot, from Playschool. Oddly, Bot outlived several Bits, to the point where 8yo me started to become suspicious...
Sometimes, fluffy, you nail a word so very well. Kudos on your use of "chump" there.
Fits, I am sorry for your loss. Some day I will tell you of the murder of our angelic white guinea pig at the hands of his rogue hutchmate.
If you don't like the idea of burying Me and You together in the garden, you could always try the the ancient Indian burial ground out the back of your house.
hey fluffy, Zippy would easily go in the dishwasher, too.
I hope you're feeling better today.
Cuntish weeks can fuck off.
x
You quoted Aimee Mann. I think I just joined the ranks of the RYWHM lovefest.
You picked it, Anon. Consider the feelings mutual.
Comments are closed.