Reasons you will hate me

Um, no.

But if I was one of the workers who thought they were going to be in a 'training video' than I would be at the very least chasing someone up for a fat cheque.

I'd do it on the condition they guaranteed low interest rates in the next term ... oh

Ok well i would be really bloody minded about forcing them to put meaningless stamps saying 'protected by law' all over the ad - 'cos that's important.

How much did the Tasmainain forestry division of the CFMEU get for standing behind howard and cheering him during the election? I think it was $4m.

Tit-off. Heh.

Maybe baby

But I would go in there drunk.. and act quite uncontrolllllliiiiibbbbiiilllyy.

The add would NOT happen.

You could take the $6k, spend $2k on a full page ad in the hun, on the page opposite bolt's column, decrying the legislation and making fun of his by-line photo.

Donate $1k to the unions campaign against the IR reforms.

Donate $1k to the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre.

Spend $1k on a party for your friends so you can forget how guilty you feel.

Keep $1k for yourself.

And then write to all the papers and the TV "current affairs" programmes about what you did with your ill-gotten gains and why this plan to create a pool of working poor for exploitation by business and the wealthy is anti-Australian, will lead to increased poverty, inequity and a higher crime rate, and also explain to them slowly and carefully that Andrew Bolt is a tit.

No way. My soul costs a whole lot more than $6000.

Sorry daveyo, top idea, but an ad full page in the Hun opposite Boltyo would cost about $90 grand.

I only know this because I work in advertising, so, like the chap this post is about, I obviously don't mind selling my soul for a buck.

Okay, got to get back to work. Those kids won't get obese by themselves.

No way. I have had the same conv's. r.e a girl i know whose in a Crown Casino ad. I don't care how much you paid me, money can't buy my soul.

I'm with Daveyo.

I might do it if they paid me enough to attack the ad myself, thereby undoing the damage*, and with a healthy bit left over for therapy to help with the guilt.

*Since they'd be able to pay someone else to do it, and that person might not use the money to undo the damage immediately afterwards.

It would be highly hypocritical of me to accept the money, but there's every chance I would, seeing as I would only be betraying myself, nobody else.

I say this because nobody values what I currently do, so I'm afraid that if anyone was to attack me for selling out, I'd have to tell them where to stick it.

You, on the other hand, Ms Fits, appear to have a fanbase. That makes it harder to justify taking the money, because you'd be betraying your fans as well as yourself.

Tex,

Last time I bought a page was 1978 and it was $2k - seems like only yesterday! Surely the price goes way down if you specify the page opposite the nut, err, screw, errrrr, bolt. Could I get a line ad?

1978? Have I missed anything exciting in the interim?

Tex, you'd better work harder. My kids are still skinny as sticks and they're feeling left out. I fear it may adversely affect their development. They're litigous little B's so be careful, they may sue you later in life for failing to make them obese and "in".

Strangely, no-one has yet answered my Alexander Downer sex hypothetical.

Well, I'm a male heterosexual, so tit-off might not be appropriate, but I'd certainly screw Alexander for $10k because I think it would fcuk with his brain even more than mine. And the half page ad I could buy from Tex with the $10k would do nicely for the picture of us mid-coitus.

daveyO, nothing has changed in advertising in the since '78. We are all still scumbags, devising ever more fiendish ways to annoy people. The drugs are more expensive now, but that's about it. I am only assuming this, as I was born in 1978.

Don't go telling people that your kids aren't obese, or I will get fired.


And Ms. Fits, I couldn't go Alexander Downer, mainly because he has an uncanny resemblance to my grandma.

But does she put out, Tex?

Maybe this guy was actually the victim of a cunning yet ridiculously stupid new economics policy design to get more people to pay taxes.

By shoving $6000 in Johnny's pocket the govnmt is forcing him over the tax-free threshhold!

Alexander Downer's hot and he giggles in a really cute way when you tit him off.

Grandad never complains. He said she is heaps better now that she can take her teeth out.

Excuse me.

*quietly vomits*

Grandad says that it is heaps better now that she can take her teeth out.

Excuse me.

*quietly vomits*

Daveyo, let me just say that you are a much more likely contender from Downer's point of view than any of us women.
Sorry to do it to you, gay community: but don't worry, there's no questions regarding little J. He's an out-and-out asexual.

"And the half page ad I could buy from Tex with the $10k would do nicely for the picture of us mid-coitus."

Something tells me that if you had a picture of yourself mid-coitus with Alexander Downer you wouldn't have to shell out the $10K to get the papers to publish it.

They might even pay you for it.

I'd definitely give him a hand job, just to see if he has a nob.
A tit-off..hmmmm...as long as he was wearing the same heels he had on in one of your other posts. Bare-chested with stilettos. Swoonworthy or what!

All the people in the ads seems so happy....Maybe these new reforms are just what we need. Like the GST and a war in Iraq.

Excuse me, sorry to interrupt. What's a tit-off? (seriously?) Is it competitive? (I know I'm not very cool)

...

It wouldn't matter how much you paid me, I simply wouldn't have the the talent as an actor to stand around and do nothing while all that went on around me.

I would do anything for love.

But I won't do that...

no-one really engages with television, so you'd get away with it. as a struggling actorslash I really think it would look great on my resume, you know, i might get a gig as a drug dealer on stingers, and then i could hob-nob with big wigs like peter phelps... so, yeah, hanging out with the love interest in 'playing beatie bow' wouldn't be so bad.

lielielie

I'm with Jobe.


Although I don't love the Liberals.

Rebekka,

You mean people will pay money for a picture of 2 people performing a lewd* act?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!




*and don't try to tell me that having sex with the Downer isn't a lewd and unusual act

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I would buttfuck Alexander Downer for whatever it would cost to burn DVDs and distribute them to all world leaders.

Plus a thousand times as much for me.

Maybe there should be like a price list. $6k for Leksi, $10k for Abbott (he might impregnate you, but then he'll ditch you), then there is the delicious Ruddock, and the scrumptious Vanstone, and lets not forget the iconic Bishop and the list goes on. No other Govt can boast of such a stunning lineup.

Chai,

What a menu!

And let's not forget former members...how much do you think a Reith creampie dessert would be?

I've titted off worse people for less; some even for free.

You people are going to some very disturbing places.




Carry on, do. I'm almost 'there'.

Look, I know this is off-topic and getting a bit serious, but I just had to tell somebody. My eldest brother is a died-in-the-wool vigorous John Howard & Liberal supporter. He has NEVER allowed a critical word against little J to go unchallenged.

So imagine my surprise when he called me this morning and told me he hasn't been able to sleep, because he's worrying so much about both the proposed industrial reform and the anti-terrorism legislation. His words included "un-Australian", "an affront to our heritage", and "traitorous". He is going to march on November 15. It gave me a scintilla of hope for the world.


Back on topic: Do you think that Alexander would say "Always a pleasure" after the tit-off?

Has young Alexander ever seen a tit, though?

I suspect I would have to decline the $6k. Since my workplace is something like 95% unionised, having my mug on tv in a government ad would make my life not worth living.