Reasons you will hate me

Explains a lot about Kate Fischer, really. And you've got much nicer....eyebrows.

OMG! Buck toothed thing? YOU DO NOT HAVE BUCK TEETH. That nasty old bint!

why thank you, anon.



Pleasingly, I was able to call her a Nazi later on in the day. ALL IN JEST OF COURSE, ROFLMAO.

She's not the sex discrimination commissioner any more, is she?

Bizarrely, she's chair of some Arabic-Australian Friendship League, and a Liberal candidate for the seat of Epping.

And clearly, legally blind.

Love, Ambrose

Surely that was the perfect opportunity to ask her the question which would otherwise have been somewhat rude but is now TOTALLY JUSTIFIED?

Pru: Do you know, you look like Melanie Howard?

MsFits: Interesting you should say that, because I and many of my friends were wondering ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SHAGGING THE PRIME MINISTER YOU TWISTED OLD PRUNE?

ps the revelation that she's legally blind makes this disturbingly more plausible.

Greetings Fits

As you know, Mels currently holds the title of Possible Whitest Arse: Senior Girls. But its a bit misleading to pose as Betty P for comparative purposes that is - what with that tan and all.

And that picture itself is somewhat disturbing. Its as if some nutter at Coffs Harbour had organised a Beach Crapping Competition. Its like they'd finished all the heats and semis, and then Betty steps up to the mark. She's the undisputed world champion women's beach crapper, and hasn't been beaten in 5 years. Her points for style have made her unassailable. She knows she's going to slaughter the competition, so with the eyes of the sporting world fixated on her, she assume the position....

Hmm, you look more like Miss Howard than your gravatar..

It's no bad thing. Her old man's a scrote, but she's pretty cute. I assume Mum had a fling at some point with a strapping pollster or the like.

there is a lot to be said for the fine art of styling...

in all the charmed times i have met you, i have seen not even the slightest resemblance to that magenta mohair-wearing purple-lipsticked spawn of evil...

you are gorgeous...

and i didn't even know you supposedly have buck teeth...

You think you've got problems? I have quite unruly eyebrows, so I am getting really rather concerned that in 38 years time I may be the spitting image of her old man.

And I can't face the thought of having my eyebrows 'done,' being an Aussie Bloke(TM) and all.

What I would like to know is why her 32 year old daughter suddenly changed her name from Kate to Katie.

P.S. Has Pru been keeping abreast of all manner of topics by reading RYWHM perhaps?

that is FUCKING HILARIOUS! love it.

Me: Apparently she's got a great rack. So that's certainly a complement.


Pru Goward: Oh, she does. Very sexy girl*.

----------------------

fits, my reading of this is that goward agrees with you re mel's rack, she said oh, she does, not oh, she does? which would mean she hadn't realised and you had told her something new. then her saying very sexy girl i think means she thinks mel is a very sexy girl. not you. even though you are, but i think she was referring to mel. sorry to disappoint.

but you were the one telling the story. did you just forget to put a question mark?

and i think she was trying to sledge you, which makes her a bit of a bitch. but any woman who is or has been "close" to howard in any which way, is pretty wrong. she's probably just bitter that you are smart and pretty and political and her own daughter is the face of knox. yawn.

Fraternising with the enemy is a court martial offence Msfits!

Hmmm, check out Pru at:

http://www.scu.edu.au/news/images/Pru%20Goward.jpg

Whose calling who bucky now?
Sent it to her with a toothbrush and some eye cream.

For fucks sake will someone visit my blog?

Anyway, why is the Federal Sex Discrimination Commissioner commenting on women's appearances, imperfections and general "sexiness"?
That's a man's job!

(I am in no way implying that you are imperfect Msfits.)

Yours sycophantically,
The Man at the Pub

HILARIOUS, I don't know what's funnier. Pru Goward calling Melanie Howard a very sexy girl (note the patronising use of the word 'girl' ugh!). Or that Pru Goward tried to offend you by comparing your 'buck teeth' to the daughter of the PM, all the while hoping that you’d hate her for saying it.

Unfuckingbelievable. You made this up, right?

What was Pru Goward doing talking to YOU?

that is certainly the most bizarre conversation ever recorded on this blog.

The woman needs eye surgery.

Either that or she's trying to throw you, Fits. Don't let her throw you!

How and why on EARTH were you and Prune Goward having a conversation in the first place, dearest of Fits's?

Did you remember our bet?

$500 on air.

$50 off.

Mayhaps I will add sexual favours as a further incentive.

Go on, Fits. Do it. Do it, please?

Oh, and "crafty old harpy". Love it.

x

Can you please put out a press release about this. something like 'howard's alleged mistress takes cheap shot at AWGIE winner' and/or 'ex sex dis comish off the leash' and/or 'pru g/howard gnashes teeth but fails to leave dent on hardy lefty glamourpuss' etc.

omg you amd mel h are totally cosmic twins of buck toothed destiny!






pru goward needs glasses. or perhaps glassing. whatevs.

Yes, why was there a conversation betwixt you and Pru? Or is that a question for Friday?
Imagine if your name was Tru...

I just had an idea. If it were true, imagine, you could get to the PM with a brain de-programming/re-programming machine.

Think of the possiblities!

Melanie Howard is hot, underneath all those layers of makeup. Certainly hotter than Chelsea Clinton, if that's saying anything.
Don't forget she's Australia's Rose.

I'd do her twice just to upset her old man.

Apparently the Howard boy is a cutie, too. My guess is Janette slept with Keating. Or Turnbull, or both.

I found a picture of that strapping youngster Tim Howard through Google image search, and the first word that leaped to mind was 'Ewwwwwww!'

I just want to know how you came to be chatting with a woman who touched* the Prime Minister's wenis.**

* allegedly

** OH GOD MY MENTAL EYE!!

Also, I was sitting in a pub doing trivial things with internet people when that book show was on. You don't particularly look like Mel Howard.

It's the word 'particularly' I'm worried about, Rach.

I'd say passing resemblance, in that you're both dark haired and have fair skin, inasmuch as I'd say you'd look more like Melanie Howard than popular late night comedian Jay Leno.

Can I ask a Friday Question here?

What are people seeing when they're in the studio doing that awful D*v*d T*nch a.k.a. Gabbo show?

They can't be seeing the fully-rendered animation, right? They'd have to do that later to match the voice.

Or is the thing so scripted and edited that they just show the questions and have canned responses like "yes", "no" and "oh really"?

I won't watch the show, obviously, so someone will have to help me.

--Ambrose

Dear Ms fits,
If you look like Melenie Howard, does that mean your dad looks like this?
And if your Dad doesn't look like that, are you sure he is your real dad? I hope so because otherwise some people could assume your mum played hide the sausage with Johnie 31 years ago?

At least she didn't say you look like Tim Howard. That would be a worry.

You missed the opportunity to say

"I think you'll find it's spit AND image you ill-educated gorgon. Perhaps you could have a word in your boyfriend's ear about boosting the education budget."

Melanie Howard just absolutely exudes right-royal-pain-in-the-ass-ishness. You could just imagine her loudly bleating about shit that she barely understands. She'd have a really fucking annoying opinion on absolutely everything, and she'd shout you down with lots of NO! NO! NO!'s and excited finger waving.

She'd love McLeod's Daughters as well.

Actually I think it's "splitting image"...Oh, and there's quite a difference between buck teeth and a cute overbite.

Thanks Ms Fits. I needed some new wanking material. Downer's daughter got me through the hard times - Costello's will take me into the spring.

Is it possible we can get a set of porno playing cards of politicians daughters. That way I could have a new one every day.

Having also recently been in the company of the FedSexDis Commish, I must admit I found it impossible to concentrate.

The desire to ask her if it was true she'd been busy bumping uglies with John W was terrible.

I kept looking at her thinking, "Oh Prubes, please let it NOT be true!!"

Anyone think Mel looks a bit like Prubes?

Yes, Duk, but if Mel was Pru's daughter I think Janette would be aware that she hadn't given birth to her.

Splitting image is generally regarded as an incorrect origin by etymologists. Interestingly, it is conjectured that the spit which is referred to is possibly seminal ejaculate, rather than oral saliva, tracing back to a reference to someone's father.

So, Ms. Fits, you look are as alike Melanie Howard as her own come. Or something.

Just watched tuesday book club and could not tell who was still standing since you were both sitting.

Tim Howard looks like quite the young go-getter, with a square American jaw and a regularly moisturised face.

Anyway, tonight Safran outed you (again) on the radio. He said you were 'more Labor than Gough Whitlam,' which I son't know whether to believe. You seem to have a crush on Bob Brown.

What about the American, Richard?

What about the American, Richard? Apparently he can't get enough of the DC and Texas women.