Reasons you will hate me

Daily? He should be so lucky. Doesn't she have a special flag she flies when she's up for it?

Really? What kind of flag? Is it pink and suggestive?

Hmmm.. maybe they're implants?

ho ho!

Hahaha "chesticle". That was funny.

I think they record every royal orgasm in a leather clad book somewhere.

Big tits and an ugly mellon is fine, cos beauty is just a light switch away.
But seriously Dan, you need to get out more.

Don't be like that, she was a hottie fifty years ago, in an upper class snobby kind of way. Phil the Greek was a lucky man, considering what some of the other Royalty looks like.

I think I just became a Monarchist.

i like your boobs

I'm an extremely keen observer of tits. However, in all my years of voyuerism, I can't recall noticing the royal rack. Blimey!

But how does Dan rate Her Madge's Vadge?

It's true - when she was young, she was really pretty.

I'm sure that when the royal dress is removed (ick) that they hang somewhere below her kneecaps.

hmm. I attended a wedding on the weekend where the best man speech included this tidbit...

"organising tonight was like sleeping with the Queen. It's a great honor but no one wants to do it."

Wedding speeches are great.

Eeeegods. I feel ill. And feel that the only response is this.

At her age, push up bras!

1. if they still do it, she would put a glove over the doorhandle to signify she is hot for it. i think phil would go elsewhere though.

2. she and her sister were spunks when they were younger

3. i don't imagine there would be any queenly royal orgasms in buck house. apart from the butlers etc doing each other in pantries etc. or am i just being ageist/queenist?

i would really love to know.

I think it's where she stuffs the corgis when photographs are being taken.

To whoever it was who linked the picture of Vanstone... yes, it's funny that she's fat. But come on. Judging people by their weight and by how they look? You may hate Vanstone's politics, but it's really, REALLY crap of you to pick on her weight instead of making a valid point in any way.

I'm sure there's a butler somewhere who's willing to spill all the gory details...

Oh but doesn't she look good for her age! I try to imitate her looks every morning by painting my teeth yellow and soaking my face in vinegar.

Sadly I could find none of her naked NOR in a bathing costume...

my sympathies.

The Queen was indeed hot when she was young (circa 1952).

Eh. It's not Mandy's size that makes her particularly unattractive. It's the entire, vile package.

she looks so much like tubs (league of gentlemen
in that last photo
its disturbing...

Zander,
you may get upset about someone picking on vanstone because she is overweight, but what about some perspective here.
Vanstone's department just sent (against doctor's advice) six detainees with severe mental problems back to the place causing the problems. And then she comes up with the disgraceful excuse about it not being her fault because it was an operation matter.
Her actions are slightly more cruel than someone posting a photo of a fat cunt on the internet.

I have used "chesticles" at least 4 times today - thank you for moving me a step closer to a sexual harrassment claim.

brokenleg, that's pretty much why picking on her for being fat is pretty ridiculous – there are far better things to worry about. It's a bit like having a crack at Idi Amin for his embarassing lisp.

hmmm, whilst i agree that making fun of vanstone's size is pointless given how many other valid criticisms can be made ie. she's evil, there is something especially vile about someone is who is clearly over-indulged [and over-fed] denying basic rights to people who are often malnourished and unable to get access to basic necessities. it's more of a metaphorical thing, if you get my drift.

it's the same reason that trade unionists in the late nineteenth century used the trope of the "fat capitalist" to illustrate the rank excess of the ruling class. it's an ugly tactic but consider the visual juxtaposition of vanstone and a refugee on a hunger strike - it makes a powerful point about greed and consumption.

oh, and the queen's baps - genius.

Princess Di's cans were the business

The question is, who gets the honour of taking Lizzie's measurements. They'd have to touch her chest nuts to get the right bra. Who is the Lingerer by appointment to HRH?

Crusty old lady jugs are NOT noice and
the pic of her noggin' creeped me out!
It's like she's saying, "Come over 'ere my pretties, cop a feel of me saggy, royal titties" Arghhhhhhhh!!!

Kinda brings a whole new level to the notion of lying back and thinking of england, don't it?

Although, I agree. She was a fox back in the day.

you guys realize that this discussion is very disturbing?

Dan's not alone in his forbiddden fascination with the sexual side of our own dear Queen. Harlan Ellison (in 'Shatterday', I think) and Ali G ('Indahouse') have already explored that transgressive territory.

(Transgressive not just sexually but also legally – must warn Dan and others, though, that it counts as treason for a commoner to seduce a female heir to the throne, or a male heir's consort. Although, for some reason, fantasising about doing so is the province not of libidinous lefties but of stalwart right-wingers – Mel Gibson in 'Braveheart', and either William F Buckley or Tom Clancy in one of his more forgettable novels).

If by 'fancying The Queen' you meant Galadriel or Jadis or Grace Jones, then Dan's kink would be par for the course. But even when a queen is a middle-aged lady with wrinkles and jowls, there's something about wearing that crown and that sash… hrrrmmm… I remember reading and re-reading 'The Fisherman and His Wife' ('Then she fell into a rage, and her hair flew wildly about her head, she tore open her bodice, kicked him with her foot, and screamed, 'I am King, and you are my man! Now go!'…') even when I was a lad too young to know about scratching that itch. Now *there's* a disturbing fetish, even weirder than Dan's.

And while I'm here:

Back when 'Wayne Manifesto' was still on TV, I used to think, in a purely avuncular way of course (since she would've been only 14 or so in those episodes), 'Hmm, Tracey-Louise Smith, she's a fine young lady, wonder what happened to her?' Then I found out – by chance – that she re-appeared, now in her mid-twenties, in 'Last Man Standing'. And found that out *after* it was cancelled. Rats. Marieke, you don't, um, have her, um, phone number, by any chance…?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

What are your thoughts on thirty? I'm soon to be "of that age" and it is hard to express my trepidation without getting into the cliches - "it's only a number", "you're still the same person, only a year older", "only as old as the person you feel (up)"... etc.