Another real-life conversation with an erstwhile public figure.
Yesterday.
Me: ...so the segment goes for about forty minutes. It's very light-hearted.
Austentayshus: Yeah, no worries. I'm a very light-hearted guy.
Me: That's good to know.
Austentayshus: Yeah. I mean, I've got this lesion on my leg and I'm not even worried about it at all. That's how light-hearted I am.
Me: I see.
Austentayshus: I don't even care if they have to cut my leg off or anything.
Me: Well, that's certainly light-hearted.
Austentayshus: Mm. I've had a few limbs removed already, so it's no big deal really.
Me: How many limbs have you had removed?
Austentayshus: Most of them.
Beat.
Me: Cool, so you're like a boogie board.
Austentayshus: What?
Me: You're like Australia's first boogie board comedian.
Beat.
Austentayshus: Anyway, this is a bad line. So I'll just talk to ya tomorrow, okay?
It reminded me of that episode where Conan O Brien guested on The Simpsons and told Bart - 'No. Only I may do the dance.'
Tonight's rooting segment should be interesting, though.
424 days til the next election.
Comments
Hey Sugarfits,
Well done - very funny, very clever, and you appear to have got right up his nose! Good one.
he lives near me.
i see him walking his tiny, tiny dog all the time.
he appears to have all limbs in tact.
liar.
I've been hoodwinked by 'Tayshus. O the humanity, etc.
lay the smackdown on him good, etc.
Good call. Get him before Denton's lackies have him killed.
Dollar if you ask him to defend Zionism.
The irrelevant looser has been doing the same routine for 20 years. And it sucked as much then as it does now.
$50 says he won’t actually talk about Zionism. Instead, he’ll try to steer the conversation toward wrongs against Australia’s indigenous community then say the Jews are just like Aboriginals
Austentayshus did a corporate real estae gig a few years ago that basically involved the same material he has used for 20 years.
It was "pin drop" stuff for the first minute, followed by the quiet swilling of drinks and the murmur of agent conversation.
Austentayshus then had to spend the next 20 minutes "entertaining" an audience that couldn't be arsed reliving his 15 minutes of 80s fame.
No wonder he keeps going with his Australiana stuff if his lost limbs "gags" is his new material.
You couldn't find Chris Franklin?! He's probably still hanging out with the fellas from Blokesworld! Hell, you could have had 'em all in! Then I might have listened.
http://www.chrisfranklin.com/
Sorry.
http://www.chrisfranklin.net/
well, nought to do with anything currently on the site Ms Fits but having spent the best part of 7 hours on several frickin' phone numbers I JUST LANDED FIVE TICKETS TO MEREDITH!
talk to me about crazy-eight schickered about the 11th December!!
well, nought to do with anything currently on the site Ms Fits but having spent the best part of 7 hours on several frickin' phone numbers I JUST LANDED FIVE TICKETS TO MEREDITH!
talk to me about crazy-eight schickered about the 11th December!!
OK so yeah excited and possibly a little bit of re-dial overload apologies for GLOATING
Hello Ms Fits,
He was horrible in a doco where he went all the way to Poland to pick fights with pensioners.
Didn't someone else write his Australiana stuff anyway? That fellow who did the Twelth Man?
The writers are never acknowledged. Excepting you, of course.
John
I don't know who he is, but for a light hearted fella he seems to lack a sense of humour. At least you were funny.
what does erstwhile mean exactly?
that can be a friday question, but in the wrong place.
Yeah. I'm listening to him now. It's a shame he's so incomprehensible because he's got a lovely voice. I do agree with him over Germaine though.
I, too, am listening right now. He is a tool. A bit entertaining with all the voices...but a tool none the less.
I'm a touch young to remember him not being a washed up hack (assuming of course he didn't emerge from the womb in such a state) but he will always make me laugh after his 'The Two Of Us' interview with his wife in The Age. When remeniscing about meeting her he said (seriously) something along the lines of 'I just put on my deepest voice and said 'How's it going babe''. And then in his wife's interview the first line she said 'The first thing I remember was his deep sexy voice'. There's something about it that will amuse me to the day I die.
Wish I hadn't turned on the teev yesterday and seen part of a show about people who became obsessed with getting an amputation, despite having no need for one. Awful.
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