Taking_notes

Ms Fits is an irritatingly smug 32 year-old television writer who yearns to be Bob Ellis but will settle for Bob Hart. At least he gets free meals. Pompous nobjockey.

Feel free to spread the word

Search

Recently

MON26 A farewell to arms.
FRI23 Friday q and a #94, part b.
THU22 Wherever you may find the moment.
WED21 Just shut up and look pretty.
TUE20 Time to make percentage party.
MON19 Someone get the RSPCA on the phone. Tell them it's urgent.
WED14 More weird conversations at the beautician.

...and the rest are in the archives.

Events

What am I, your social calendar? Go outside and play some stick-ball.

Links

Inventive

Reasons you will hate me

Ill-informed rantings and half-baked theories from someone who should know better.

Friday Q&As

Regular posts

May 2008

MON26 A farewell to arms.
THU22 Wherever you may find the moment.
WED21 Just shut up and look pretty.
TUE20 Time to make percentage party.
MON19 Someone get the RSPCA on the phone. Tell them it's urgent.
WED14 More weird conversations at the beautician.
TUE13 The happiest place on earth.
FRI09 Why I probably shouldn't be allowed near children, part 82 in a series.
THU08 It takes a nation of neologists.
TUE06 It's where we learn how the young folk converse.
MON05 If these walls could only bark.
FRI02 Standard interviewer don't's.
THU01 Rallying the troops.

April 2008

TUE29 Razzle Spazzle.
THU24 You can't panhandle the truth.
WED23 Vowel control.
TUE22 Out of the mouths of baby-headed chumps.
MON21 Impressions of the 2020 summit, #1.
FRI18 One of the kinder terms at your disposal.
THU17 Highbrow cohorts.
WED16 A phonecall with the father of the Ginge, yesterday.
TUE15 Thanks...but no thanks.
MON14 Where the wild friends are.
THU10 I cried a river over you.
WED09 Things to love about staying away from home.
TUE08 See me after class.
MON07 Tick tock.
THU03 If you don't know him or get the joke, just go and buy the fucking record as it is genius and you will be musically thankful and also laugh in retrospect.
WED02 Duck Season.
TUE01 Dinner with the ladies.

March 2008

MON31 Ebony and Ivory.
FRI28 When hair removal goes public.
THU27 Pet hates, the automobile series.
WED26 Latest boy to obsess over for ladies with a predilection for the more appalling side of humour.
TUE25 Thumbing through to Uncoolsville.
WED19 Stomp Stomp.
TUE18 Still got it.
THU13 RYWHM Confession Booth #5.
WED12 Not sorry.
TUE11 Other items purchased by anonymous people who recently bid for me on ebay.
THU06 Morning taxi.
TUE04 Hits from the bong.
MON03 The perks of the job.

February 2008

January 2008

THU31 Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely, and more temperate.
WED30 Gaydar currently tuned to minus 3.
TUE29 Fuck voting, let's dance.
WED23 This is why they call it 'pop' culture.
TUE22 There is no too far.
MON21 Keep on truckin'.
TUE15 How to get the attention of a relatively famous person through manipulation of the press.
THU10 You know you're in Sydney when...
THU03 My father is adorable.
WED02 Two thousand and great.

December 2007

SUN30 Warning, children - five years detention without charge can damage a man's hotness.
THU20 Say it ain't Conan.
TUE18 Looks like we got ourselves a reader.
MON17 Make a list.
TUE11 Hail to the chief.
WED05 Flying the flag.
TUE04 Family secrets.

November 2007

THU29 It's a sign.
TUE27 Fun for all the family.
MON26 The party continues.
SUN25 Eat it, scumbags. I am joyous.
FRI23 My mother: the OG.
THU22 Political Hots and Nots.
TUE20 Campaign LOLs X 2.
MON19 "If you were my age you'd be a nerd, if I were your age I'd be a geek"
FRI16 No really, tell me what you think.
WED07 The number #1 reason you should never self-google.
MON05 O holy Livvy.

October 2007

THU18 Remember the days of the old school yard? We used to laugh a lot.
WED17 Product endorsement.
MON15 It begins.
THU11 Thanks for the meal.
WED10 Message Sent, 10:02am 10/10/07.
TUE09 This is just ridiculous now.
MON08 The time it has come.
THU04 Full House.
WED03 Metal eye for the queer guy.
TUE02 Dress your family in corduroy and Polichicks.

September 2007

THU27 Even God hates you now.
WED26 Where's you bin.
TUE25 Up there with the worst thing I have ever seen in my life.
MON24 Celebrating interwebs diversity.
THU13 A simply splendid man.
WED12 ABC List.
TUE11 Night at the sexy museum.
TUE04 Oui, cèst moi.

August 2007

FRI31 A brief check in.
TUE28 Following up a little RYWHM business...
THU23 This probably means I should pretty much quit while I'm ahead.
WED22 'For god's sake, don't put it on your fucking blog.'
TUE21 Celebrating newness and ageingness.
MON20 Friends in high places.
WED15 Dance Magic Dance.
TUE14 Teh curse of teh interwebs.
THU09 Just nod and look like you get it.
WED08 When emotional children take it too far.
THU02 Any club that would have me as a member.
WED01 Absolute proof.

July 2007

TUE31 Get orf my altar!
MON30 Y'all come back now!
SUN29 If I had a daughter she would definitely be this highly strung.
THU26 When life experience turns bad.
WED25 Sweetness.
TUE24 Facebook delivers.
THU19 More news from the hospice.
WED18 Sweet chalet.
TUE17 Trash glamour, within reason.
THU12 IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING.
WED11 Petar can haz un-lol!
TUE10 Un-potted.
THU05 The right way.
WED04 I was broke, I needed the money.
TUE03 What's up, robot?

June 2007

WED27 The best (real) excuse for getting out of work, ever.
TUE26 Blogger Cat does not LOL.
TUE19 No particular Order.
THU14 Big Trouble in Little Blogsville.
WED13 Big house manners.
TUE12 Dating lingo #101.
WED06 2 awful.
TUE05 Further observations from a time in Sydlee.
MON04 They're so sweet when they're at that age.

May 2007

WED30 Baby love, 1988.
TUE29 When it's not okay.
THU24 Just whipping up to the shops.
WED23 And for my next trick...
MON21 Ya rly.
THU17 Ring Ring #3280.
WED16 My other car is a broomstick.
TUE15 I hope he's paying attention.
MON14 Just talkin'.
THU10 One for the kids.
WED09 You could be, like, a bratwurst.
TUE08 Hey Carl.
MON07 Wanted: Witness.
THU03 Yet another classic example of 'don't picture it, just go with it'.
WED02 Just when you thought it was safe to turn on the television.
TUE01 RYWHM Confession Booth #4.

April 2007

MON30 Monday Take #3.
WED25 Run for the hills.
TUE24 Crossing the line from poor taste into poorer taste.
MON23 Hey Righties!
THU19 the Pseudo Echo files.
WED18 It's a girl.
TUE17 Willing and Able.
MON16 A beginner's guide to making an idiot of yourself.
THU12 Some more awful truths for Suicide Thursday.
WED11 Manners please.
THU05 Rental difficulties.
WED04 I made a new friend.

March 2007

TUE27 My best friend's wedding.
THU22 Fall from grace.
TUE20 There but for the grace of George.
SAT17 I don't usually post on a Saturday, but when you find yourself in an internet cafe with such a gem of a story it's worth stopping by to say:
THU15 Razzle for the over 70's set.
WED14 Kevin is a place on earth.
TUE13 Mild amusings.
THU08 the Surreal life.
WED07 Peaking.
TUE06 Macphisto.

February 2007

WED28 Welcome to the neighbourhood.
MON26 Things what disturb.
THU22 Last night's mishaps.
TUE20 The worst tattoo I have ever seen in my life.
THU15 Thursday swoonings.
WED14 Happy Vomitrons Day.
TUE13 I'm still Genny from the accident.
MON12 Not a word of lie.
THU08 Burning tongue of fire.
WED07 The most amazing news article ever.
THU01 When A2 articles attack.

January 2007

WED31 x
TUE30 At one with the kids.
THU25 C.H.O.P.S.
WED24 You came and you gave without taking.
TUE23 Possibly the worst idea ever.
THU18 Inspector Vadget.
WED17 The beginning of the end.
MON15 Would you rather.
THU11 Ring ring.
WED10 Nobody puts Franti in a corner.
TUE09 Sleeping beauties.
MON08 Celebrity Sweepstakes 2007.
THU04 Happy threeway to you.
TUE02 HNY.

December 2006

THU28 A fascinating Christmas haul.
THU21 Boltspotting.
WED20 A special Christmas box.
TUE19 This should pass the time, in any case.
MON18 Your feel-good story for this here Monday.
THU14 Five people who don't realise that nobody likes them.
WED13 Cunt, cunt, cunt.
TUE12 the Wizards of Oz.
MON11 Ah, sweet lady Meredith.
THU07 Introducing Australia's new favourite after-dinner speaker...
WED06 Blazin.
TUE05 Third course.
MON04 Diary of a left-wing dork.

November 2006

THU30 R U FUR REAL?
WED29 Big balls.
TUE28 Let's take an election drive.
THU23 I'm on to you, funnyman.
WED22 That's quite enough.
TUE21 This racism is making me thirsty.
THU16 Woman of the Week.
WED15 Supplies.
TUE14 It's my party.
MON13 Read all about it (elsewhere).
THU09 Wrong Crushes - the music edition.
WED08 The race that stops an Asian.
TUE07 There but for the grace of Mum.
MON06 Liberals are GO.
THU02 Something I didn't do for once.
WED01 Awkward fatherly moment #348.

October 2006

TUE31 Oops, he did it.
THU26 RYWHM Confession Booth #3.
WED25 The exception which proves the rule.
TUE24 Yourspace (within reason, obvs).
THU19 Thar she bleeds.
WED18 Cronullopoly.
TUE17 Elton, my Elton.
THU12 Exposed.
WED11 RYWHM RATE MY OFFSPRING #1.
TUE10 A real email to the ABC, yesterday.
THU05 I'M IN UR COALITION GRABBING JOHN HOWARD'S HARBLS
WED04 Ugly children - part four in a series.
MON02 OMFGRANDFINAL111

September 2006

THU28 Saved by the Balls.
WED27 Cleanliness is next to Sexiness.
TUE26 The world's most liveable city.
THU21 Go the gay.
WED20 File under A for Ageing Badly.
MON18 That's the name of the game.
THU14 Kids say the darndest things.
TUE12 Another real-life conversation with an erstwhile public figure.
MON11 My better half.
THU07 Thursday's quiz is full of grace.
WED06 Waterworld.
TUE05 Yes, someone had picked him in Celebrity Sweepstakes.
MON04 Where the wild things are.

August 2006

THU31 We have ourselves a winner/terribly sad loss
WED30 A real, actual, honest-to-god conversation, yesterday.
MON28 A pleasing start to your Monday.
THU24 Kramer vs Kramer.
WED23 Homo sweet homo.
TUE22 Quiz answers, for those what was interested in playing.
MON21 Territory quizlings.
WED16 My father's collection of comedy accents, Part 1 in a series.
TUE15 More Northern adventures.
SUN13 Travelogue.
THU10 It's the magic number.
TUE08 I love men who can dance.
MON07 VALENSI
THU03 How mbrsng.
WED02 Not hot as in sexy.
TUE01 All aboard.

July 2006

MON31 You forgot something.
THU27 The mystery deepens.
WED26 A few matters for your Wednesday perusal.
MON24 A small reason to attempt cheer.
THU20 This is for Lovers.
WED19 Abcess makes the heart Rwanda.
MON17 Calling Peter Costello.
WED12 Probably the best thing you'll ever see in your life (so pay attention).
TUE11 Celebrate/Good Times/C'mon!
MON10 Please don't (re: your hat).
THU06 Ring ring.
WED05 Not much backwards in coming forwards.
TUE04 But I thought the government liked locking up children.
MON03 Turkeyslapgate.

June 2006

THU29 Take me away...
WED28 Fire power.
TUE27 Suicide Tuesday.
MON26 Pleased to meat you.
THU22 Lee Harding fans continue to share the love.
WED21 Why don't you go over there and try it.
TUE20 Rhymes with 'Sex Cunt'.
MON19 More interesting emails for your pleasure.
THU15 Guess what's wrong with me.
WED14 Suddenly mass emails aren't as cute as I remember.
TUE13 I'm sorry, Yumi.
THU08 Take me on.
WED07 On slight changes you may have noticed in my blogger profile.
TUE06 Something I regularly do at the chemist which makes me think I am possibly a bit special.
MON05 A few light-hearted chuckles with the Federal Minister for Immigration.
THU01 POSSIBLY THE MOST NOT-SAFE-FOR-WORK POST ON THIS BLOG EVER (aka Rate My Penis).

May 2006

WED31 Freddie got fingered (most likely by me).
TUE30 Foiled by a search engine.
MON29 Fit for a me.
THU25 RYWHM Confession Booth #2.
WED24 A remotely disturbing conversation with my friend Dan.
TUE23 The lady doth protest.
MON22 Speaking of nits...
THU18 Buzz. B.U.Z.Z.
WED17 Jump in my car (and help yourself to my belongings).
TUE16 Checkout Cutie.
MON15 Nit picking.
THU11 Two pictures that I like, the second one of which is not at all safe for work. So just you be careful.
WED10 The years and the tears.
TUE09 The Hard Questions.
MON08 RYWHM Lonely Hearts Club.
THU04 Keep it coming.
WED03 Acting tips 101 with your guest host Joan Rivers.
TUE02 Yes, there truly is a tiny child carrying a sign which reads TOE TAGS FOR FAGS.
MON01 Dial T for Trauma.

April 2006

THU27 Stealing someone else's life for blog fodder for a change.
WED26 On whether or not to have sex with Pauly Shore.
TUE25 Untitled
MON24 Oh god.
THU20 On nicknames, fuckit.
WED19 p.s. down with poofs.
TUE18 My heart belongs to Frank Robson.
THU13 More boobs for your buck.
WED12 I'm just drawn that way.
TUE11 Something to look forward to.
MON10 Hollyrude.
THU06 I'll be a monkey's brother of his father.
WED05 Queercore.
TUE04 Oi (insert name)! You're a creep! {Part 1}.
MON03 Ground control to major dork.

March 2006

THU30 You know you're in trouble when you wake up on the side of Evil (plus Gabi's q and a).
WED29 A girl in need of a tourniquet.
TUE28 Imagine me and you.
MON27 He kissed me and it felt like a hit.
THU23 I am SO SORRY...
WED22 Insert something funny about 'bush'rangers. Then insert something funny about the word 'insert'. Exeunt.
TUE21 Just call me Trixie Belden.
MON20 Because Parents Really Into Champion Kids was taken, apparently.
THU16 Seven Seven Phwoar.
WED15 Attention: homosexuals.
TUE14 Diagnosis: sexy.
MON13 Another life box ticked, my friends.
THU09 For god's sake Paul, CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER.
WED08 RYWHM Book Club #1
TUE07 You fuckin' ripper.
MON06 Life begins at Sexty.
FRI03 Friday Questions Delayed.
THU02 Some things you don't want see your boyfriend wearing in 2006 (or ever).
WED01 Political correctness gone something.

February 2006

TUE28 Gone campin'.
MON27 Two great men share some views, yesterday.
THU23 Adopting a new love.
WED22 Pin the quote on the moron.
TUE21 Two random conversations had whilst dj-ing on Friday night.
MON20 But we just plain ol' love him anyway.
THU16 Sorry for your loss.
WED15 The V word.
TUE14 Queen of Hearts.
FRI10 Be patient.
THU09 Pitching.
WED08 RYWHM Book Club.
TUE07 I am now a racist.
MON06 Partners in Crime.
SUN05 A rare Sunday post. (but this is worth paying attention to I feel)
THU02 The People Mover.
WED01 Hey Mom, what's for dinner/Go up your nose and pick a winner.

January 2006

TUE31 Guilt Free One.
MON30 Dear Diary #1.
THU26 Celebrate!
WED25 Still not sorry.
TUE24 LOLerskates.
MON23 She's A Lady.
THU19 The worst ever Public Notice I've seen in my fucking life.
WED18 We are One and We are Many.
TUE17 You have the right to remain sexy.
MON16 'Cos I'm Free.
SAT14 And it took quite a long time.
FRI13 (late) Friday q and a.
THU12 Swing, Swang, Swung.
WED11 Pretty Pretties.
TUE10 Glug glug.
MON09 Celebrity Sweepstakes 2006.
FRI06 Q and A.
THU05 Harding fans speak*! *a form of English.
WED04 I'm back...I think.

December 2005

WED28 I don't feel very festive...
FRI23 Dita who, plus questions below.
THU22 Questions round two.
THU22 questions, round 1.
THU22 Yuletide Question Time.
WED21 p.s. can you send my stuff back to mum's.
TUE20 Oh dear god.
MON19 We are good people.
FRI16 Raindrops and roses, you guys!
THU15 If he's so damn punk maybe he'll choke on some vomit in the near future.
WED14 Ho ho, etc.
TUE13 A lovely day at the beach.
TUE13 Resume Transmission.
THU08 And later on, Barnaby Joyce apparently photocopied his scrotum before throwing up in the stationery cupboard!
WED07 And there've been all these good headlines about them fingering each other, too.
MON05 Ugly Children - part three in a series.
THU01 They blow shit up.

November 2005

WED30 Sexpo - a day in pictures.
MON28 Pencil him in.
MON28 Yay for gays.
FRI25 Oh sweet, high score on mayhem and murder!
THU24 Bad blogger! No linkage!
MON21 I just love this so much...
FRI18 Sexy?
THU17 J.
WED16 Thanks but no thanks.
TUE15 When the union's inspiration through the workers' blood shall run...
MON14 This time it's personal.
FRI11 A few random pieces for your Friday.
THU10 We're going home in the back of a divvy van! Dress appropriately!
WED09 When people just don't deserve to be aroused.
TUE08 Puss in boots.
MON07 But I don't wanna be employee of the month...
THU03 It's gold-plated and shit too, apparently. And it smokes cigars.
TUE01 The little bald man.

October 2005

MON31 Are you there God? It's me, Fits.
FRI28 RYWHM Confession Booth.
WED26 For all your Aryan musical needs.
TUE25 Bitches.
MON24 A quick buck.
FRI21 Untitled
THU20 Making mathematics utterly bewildering since 1959.
WED19 Spewin'.
TUE18 When art and life just get too fucking weird.
MON17 Wedding Sausage.
THU13 Nakie.
WED12 Crazy skills.
TUE11 Dear John.
MON10 And Sandman busted for child porn...
FRI07 Tim After Tim.
THU06 Yeah Maan.
WED05 When non-violent resistance just isn't getting your point across.
MON03 Father Knows Best.

September 2005

August 2005

WED31 Urban Professionals.
TUE30 Appropriate Worship time with Our Lady of Perpetual Fashion.
MON29 Things overheard in hospital.
FRI26 Smile, you're on etc.
THU25 Mission: Sacrilegious.
WED24 Diary of a Hume.
TUE23 Stripathon.
FRI19 Brain versus vagina/stomach.
FRI19 Dear everyone who participated in the greatest comments of all time (below):
TUE16 Oh, well done you.
THU11 On what is 'normal'. According to, you know, Neil Mitchell.
TUE09 Beautiful one day, etc.
THU04 What is happening here*?
WED03 You're too much.
TUE02 Rumble in the Jungle.
MON01 A funny thing happened on the way to prison.

July 2005

FRI29 Cheer up, buttercup.
WED27 A study in contrasts. Of hotness.
MON25 God loves a drunk.
SUN24 Evil RYWHM inventions #1.
FRI22 Chelsea Peretti - yet another RYWHM interview.
THU21 Go to the top of the class. In killing people and shit.
WED20 Maketh the man.
TUE19 Child porn.
MON18 Dear Papa.
FRI15 Prepare ye the way of the Lord.
THU14 Just be patient.
WED13 *sneezes*
TUE12 Best 50/50 of the month.
MON11 Ladies.
FRI08 Canal Stats.
THU07 A few questions.
WED06 What Women Want.
TUE05 WAR OF THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLDS - A RYWHM movie critique written by my wandering attention span and borderline retarded internal dialogue.
MON04 Conversation overheard in Fiji.
FRI01 The doctor is in.

June 2005

THU30 Speed dating with the men of the moment.
WED29 Mama's home.
TUE28 GUEST POSTER #7 - CASS TYTLER
MON27 Ladies & Gentlemen...
SUN26 GUEST POSTER #6 - LA NADINE
SAT25 GUEST POSTER #5 - GENNY B
FRI24 GUEST POSTER #4 - CLEM BASTOW
THU23 GUEST POSTER #3 - JESSCULTURE
WED22 GUEST POSTER #2 - SUGAR
TUE21 GUEST POSTER #1 - FLUFFY
MON20 An Announcement from The Management
FRI17 Schnitz and Tits.
THU16 'Turn left at the roundabout, go about two blocks until you see the letterbox then do a sharp u-turn...oh look, I'm sure you'll find it.'
WED15 Pin the ignorance on the Young Liberal!
MON13 So there.
SAT11 But what's a blog?
FRI10 These flyers have actually, no shit, been distributed around my neighbourhood.
THU09 A nice drop.
WED08 Bourke's Backyard - the #4 RYWHM interview.
TUE07 Dib dib dib.
MON06 Hard rubbish.
FRI03 I am going to the country today...
THU02 New blog crush.
WED01 There's still something about the book's title that makes me feel a bit strange, though.

May 2005

TUE31 A generous heart.
MON30 My heart's just not really in it today, sorry.
SAT28 I think this might be just about the hottest girl and/or photo I have ever seen in my life.
FRI27 Best. Vagina Small Talk. Ever.
THU26 Approaching the bench.
WED25 Happy Anniversary.
TUE24 Pay close attention.
MON23 A right of reply.
SUN22 Community service announcement.
SAT21 I know she's rushing to be by her sister's side and all, but it just made me think again...
FRI20 Drizzle me.
THU19 Pssst...hey you. Wanna be in a music video? pt 2.
WED18 This just in from my friend Negus:
TUE17 Victoria.
MON16 The simplest solution.
SUN15 Kids with guns.
FRI13 Holding out for a hero.
THU12 Give me my money back, bitch.
WED11 Express Ticket of the week #2:
TUE10 No, seriously.
MON09 It begins.
SUN08 Happy Mother's Day.
SAT07 Chipmunk Punk.
FRI06 For better or worse.
THU05 Three reasons why Paris Hilton should perhaps not yet consider procreating:
WED04 But can you make an omlette after?
TUE03 Care for kids.
MON02 A moral question.

April 2005

SAT30 Saturday gig guide.
FRI29 Things to make you think a bit...no, really.
THU28 They don't make them all this good, boys.
WED27 Tony Tony Tone - the second-ever RYWHM interview.
TUE26 Joh or no?
MON25 Gay crushes.
SAT23 My boyfriend is going to love this post.
FRI22 Willkommen!
WED20 All good things must come to an end.
TUE19 No Jatz for Katz...the inaugural RYWHM interview.
MON18 More things about a night at the strips.
SUN17 A proud day indeed.
FRI15 Wrong crushes, part deux.
THU14 Some more comedy festival business for your perusal:
WED13 Things not to say on a first date.
TUE12 Ten Interesting Things.
MON11 All white now.
SUN10 More hilarity for you.
FRI08 Comedy Festival at a glance.
THU07 I don't know why I love this photo.
WED06 Shut up, nan!
TUE05 Hey everybody! I'm totally going to be on tv! Set your vcr's!
MON04 Game Over.

March 2005

THU31 Part whatever in the 'I'll never blog about spam' series.
THU31 Hey, little girl/comb your hair/fix your make-up/soon he will open the door...
WED30 Smells like good times.
SUN27 The movie business.
SAT26 Who wouldn't be?
FRI25 A few random pieces for your Easter pleasure.
WED23 The mental image you don't want.
TUE22 Another quiet night 'round at Daniel O' Connor's place:
SUN20 Just don't.
SAT19 Put me out to pasture and feed me to the wolves.
FRI18 Your ex.
THU17 Legally binding.
WED16 Everyone has a story.
TUE15 In all the wrong places.
MON14 Reasons to hate Craig McLachlan.
SUN13 I'd like to thank the guy who cavity-searched me...
SAT12 Culture.
FRI11 Room Service
WED09 We'll always have Paris.
TUE08 Touched for the very first time.
MON07 How to have a Pash Party (TM).
SUN06 Sandwich of love.
SAT05 And we sang 'Love is a Boud-lefield', too.
FRI04 Roomies.
THU03 Two words for you.
WED02 Reflecting the inside of my brain.
TUE01 How to.

February 2005

FRI25 Titting off.
THU24 Good eatin'.
WED23 Ugly children - part two in a series.
TUE22 A few random pieces this Tuesday morn.
MON21 Some phonecalls you don't want to get.
SAT19 Happy Anniversary, darling!
FRI18 A new crush and ol' faithful.
THU17 Be careful what you wish for.
WED16 Feelin' Blue.
TUE15 'Is there a problem, ociffer?'
MON14 Sweethearts.
THU10 People you don't want on your side, part #2.
WED09 Woof woof!
TUE08 One of these people has an incredibly fucked-up face.
MON07 Hi ladies!
SAT05 Loungin'.
FRI04 A few random pieces on this grey Friday morn.
WED02 A tribute.
TUE01 Bands you should know, Part 1.

January 2005

SUN30 Telegram from Funsville.
FRI28 What it feels like for a transgender.
THU27 A few pieces for your enjoyment this sticky Thursday morning.
WED26 Do I look like this would appeal to me*?
TUE25 Ugly Children - part one in a series.
MON24 I'm glad I came to the party.
SUN23 Here is someone you should know.
FRI21 Pssst...hey you....wanna be the leader of the Labor party?
THU20 What I'm...
WED19 So long Mark, we hardly knew ye.
TUE18 I dare you.
MON17 Man of the Moment.
SUN16 But it's all about ripping his ear off and fucking his brain, okay?
SAT15 Friday night for the computer-azzi.
FRI14 I'm sorry, mum.
THU13 I've figured it out.
WED12 'Cooooool' is really the only appropriate word at a time like this.
TUE11 But what can I do to make myself feel better?
MON10 Pieces that will no doubt amuse and delight you.
SUN09 Pssst....wanna be in a music video?
SAT08 Emotional chaos.
FRI07 How to trick people into having a spa party*.
THU06 Random whatevs thoughts on a Thursday.
WED05 Alternative Careers.
TUE04 Missing in Action.
MON03 Making new friends.
SUN02 But ours is, you know, funny and light-hearted.

December 2004

MON27 More Than A Feeling.
FRI24 Random Wtf? things on Christmas Eve.
THU23 Another day, another phonecall to a fucking bitch.
WED22 Changing the world with two simple phonecalls.
TUE21 All I Want For Christmas.
MON20 Funny ha-ha.
SUN19 How can one man be so smart?
SAT18 Everyone loves an award ceremony.
SAT18 Holidays commence.
THU16 Strap your pants in for takeoff...
WED15 Random Wtf? things on a Wednesday morning.
TUE14 Why are people so fucking fucked*?
MON13 A festival post-mortem.
FRI10 Things to do at Meredith.
THU09 Comic book dork.
WED08 Office fun times!
TUE07 I'd like to thank Pandagate...
MON06 Things learned about country life.
FRI03 It'll be all Noel Coward and high tea, you know.
FRI03 Crazy Rockers.
THU02 Book Book .
WED01 Snap! Crakk!

November 2004

TUE30 Mint!
MON29 NZ Bloggers in Ass-Kicking shock!
SUN28 Choice!
SAT27 Things I am telling myself not to do or say in New Zealand.
FRI26 Derelicte and other performance art.
FRI26 I was wrong.
THU25 Gay porn.
WED24 3 MC's and 1 MF.
TUE23 A few things that are making me feel old and out of touch.
MON22 Murder, Marry, Fight, Fuck - the Classics Edition.
FRI19 A career in medicine.
FRI19 Pissed cunts.
THU18 Bossy or Organised?
WED17 The best kind of boy...
TUE16 Are you calling me queer?
MON15 People you don't want on your side, part 1.
SUN14 R.I.P O.D.B
SAT13 Friday night reviewed.
FRI12 Your Friday gig guide.
THU11 Best. Protest. Ever.
WED10 One can but dream.
TUE09 Sometimes I know just how he feels.
MON08 Things about music videos.
SAT06 Looks Like We've Made It*.
FRI05 The Laws of Gayness.
FRI05 Rules for stalkers.
THU04 The mystery deepens.
WED03 Hotness.
WED03 Rival!
TUE02 Dress-ups.
MON01 Sydney Part Two.

October 2004

SUN31 Sydney Part One.
FRI29 So if Latham lost because of a handshake...
FRI29 Part three in a series of making fun of the cool people.
THU28 WooHoo! Oh, Fuck! WooHoo! Oh, Fuck! WooHoo!
TUE26 Tanno
TUE26 I am going to Hell in a handbasket.
MON25 A User's Guide.
MON25 Music.
SUN24 Sex.
SUN24 Food.
SUN24 Politics.
SAT23 Things about writers.
FRI22 Insert hilarious 'ah-so'-style racism here.
FRI22 Feeling the pain.
FRI22 Things learned from today's Age.
FRI22 'But I thought you liked vintage!'
WED20 God of the Future!
TUE19 Things I would say to Bob Ellis if he actually bothered to return my phone call.
TUE19 Stalker Post Number Two.
TUE19 Categorical Denial.
TUE19 Stalker Post Number 1.
MON18 People I have crushes on, Part 1.
MON18 What you should write about me if you get to pen my obit.
SUN17 Things about Steak.
SAT16 The day in question.
FRI15 Whatever happened to FuckFace?
FRI15 Evil Overlord.
THU14 Things that have happened since John Howard won.
TUE12 Someone gave me Peter Costello's home phone number.
TUE12 Heh*.
MON11 I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing.
MON11 Random text messages received on Saturday night*.
SUN10 Untitled
SAT09 This is it.
FRI08 Putting it on the line.
FRI08 Things you don't want someone to say to you in a meeting when you're trying to look important.
FRI08 Eating like a bitch-tit.
THU07 Hypothetically speaking.
WED06 Is this, like, a date?
WED06 More hate mail!
TUE05 Come to my party. No, seriously.
TUE05 More right-wing hilarity.
TUE05 We must protect our queen!
MON04 What did Bob ever do to you?
SUN03 Happiness is:
SAT02 Things you don't want to hear Melbourne Lord Mayor John So say to you.
FRI01 Taxi Driver Tally.
FRI01 More confusing hate mail.

September 2004

THU30 Sydney at a glance.
MON27 Banana phone.
MON27 Feeling the love.
FRI24 Hate Mail!
FRI24 Part 2 in a series of making fun of the cool people.
WED22 Today there is a God.
WED22 Blobs gone Wild.
TUE21 Why this morning's ride to work was so goddamn beautiful.
MON20 Losing cool.
MON20 SEX PARTY!
SAT18 Reasons to be excited.
SAT18 Ways to annoy the neighbours.
FRI17 Would you like one or two sugars with your anal rape?
THU16 Rocking the Vote even harder.
WED15 Murder, Marry, Fight, Fuck - Juniors!
WED15 Poosi drip.
TUE14 People you might not beat off over if you knew that they were right-wing.
MON13 Yet another reason to like Mark Latham.
MON13 Is this you?
MON13 Town Bikes will ride.
SAT11 Stop Press.
THU09 Coolest picture evs.
WED08 Being nice to the guests.
WED08 Go Trev.
TUE07 Upon pain of death.
TUE07 Australia's answer to Columbo.
MON06 First 50 payers receive a Hedgehog. Genius.
MON06 Headline of today's Age used in incredibly clever fashion.
MON06 Masturbate for Peace.
SUN05 All Hail.
SAT04 There's really more than ten reasons, but whatever.
SAT04 He could have added 'P.S. You Stink'.
SAT04 Let them dance!
FRI03 Know thine enemy.
FRI03 God Rock.
THU02 Hott Left-Wing Fuss.
THU02 Things learned about Republicans.
THU02 Hope Springs Eternal.
THU02 Girls.
WED01 Part one in a series for the 'kids'.

August 2004

TUE31 Strippers Gone Wild.
TUE31 The coolest word of the campaign so far.
MON30 Politics for beginners.
SUN29 T minus 41 days.
SAT28 What happens when your drug dealer is on drugs*.
FRI27 How to get my attention.
THU26 A dilemma for you.
TUE24 I got two t-shirts made up.
TUE24 What I deduced from this morning's call to the Presidential candidates.
MON23 Savage Beating.
FRI20 Yawn,
FRI20 On being a lady.
THU19 The first in a series of making fun of the cool people.
WED18 Things that happen when you're naked on radio.
MON16 There's also one that says 'Don't be a girlie-man, vote Bush'.
MON16 This will only make sense if you're au fait with Tony Abbott and Peter Costello's defamation case against Bob*.
MON16 Read between the lines.
SUN15 Nothing's changed much.
FRI13 Meeting the Man.
THU12 Famous me.
WED11 It's official.
TUE10 Murder, Marry, Fight, Fuck
MON09 Calling George.
SUN08 The Ice Opinion.
FRI06 Me versus Jim Schembri.
FRI06 A life of crime.
THU05 War of the Teens.
WED04 Sorry.
TUE03 The things you find when you research your radio show.
TUE03 Tonight on Best of the Brat.
TUE03 Things my best friend did to me last night that would have been very inappropriate if anyone else tried to do them.
MON02 Find your Ramones name.
MON02 Things that are better in theory.
SUN01 les médecins sans frontières

July 2004