Best. Protest. Ever.
Being a sometime activist (TM) and full-time political irritant, I often get along to the odd protest or two. Waterfront dispute? Sang songs around the campfire. One Nation when Ol' Cameltoe was actually a potential threat? Jostled with horses. Even got into some argy-bargy at the Maribyrnong detention center . This is because I'm flighty and align myself constantly with faddish moral causes (TM).
One of the many problems associated with Professional Protesting (TM) is that you have to march arm-in-arm with people whose sole purpose in life is to run chai tents and invent 'catchy' chants for the masses. '2,4,6,8/Racism is not that great!' is all fine and well (if a little clunky with regard to pace and rhythm), but when the crusties start busting out 'Don't Be A Richard Cranium/Export Howard, Not Uranium!' it's time to start getting embarrassed. You know you're in trouble when the police frontline can't even keep a straight fucking face. 'Don't be a Richard Cranium'?? Jesus fucking Christ. Please, bang on a saucepan even louder to drown out my deep and lasting humiliation you feral bizzarros.
That's why when I read about guys like this , I am buoyed. If I may quote:
'OSLO. A couple who sparked outrage by having sex onstage in front of thousands of stunned rock concert-goers in Norway shocked again yesterday when the man pulled down his trousers in court.
"Oops, I must have dropped my pants," said Tommy Hol Ellingsen, 28, as he stripped in front of reporters during a break at a local court in southern Norway. Hol Ellingsen and Petra Leona Johansson, 22, were in court after refusing to pay a fine of 10,000 crowns each for copulating on stage in July.
The two, members of an environmental group, said their stunt was to draw attention to a campaign to save the rainforest. Their lawyer argued that they were protected under a freedom of expression law.'
Does this not make protesting seem a lot more fucking fun? Not only do you get to have sex on-stage at a rock concert (bags me Kings Of Leon ), but you then get to stand up in court and say the most porno line since 'Wait a minute...you're not the regular cabana boy...'
'Oops, I must have dropped my pants'. Absolute. Fucking. Gold. Other papers are reporting him saying 'I seem to have dropped my pants'. Either way, you can sign me up for the next 'save the rainforest' shindig with Tommy and Petra. I will be the naked one amongst like-minded folk.
p.s. Apparently they also showed up in court dressed as small children with pictures of genitalia sewn to their clothes . DO THOSE NORWEGIANS KNOW HOW TO MAKE A POLITICAL STATEMENT OR WHAT??
Update!
Photo evidence (thanks Scratch ):
Would you get a load of all those horned hands? The crowd is lapping it up. So anti-establishment right now.
3 days til Gabi comes home.
1063 days til the next election.
Comments
you've just made my morning!
I will now look at the gig guide in a new light. Who's coming with me?
John Wood was just knocked out of Daryl's Dancing With The Stars and Guy Sebastian is playing the Gold Coast Convention Centre.
It'd almost be a crime if I didn't exercise my democratic right to protest!
EVEN BETTER! Protesting against Guy Sebastian's Hillsong virgins and their increasing ability to control both houses of government with their hard-core lesbian burning Christian tendencies?
There is actually footage of their original offence. A bit of goooooglin' turned up one of the initial articles on nettavisen and the actual footage on ifilm (find it yourself, you filthy voyeurs). Fuck For Forest indeed... I'm not sure I can restrain myself from making a bad 'Got Wood?' joke, I should go now.
(On another note, I had a friend in primary school named Richard S***** who called his fledgling computing empire 'Cranium Software'. Oddly enough he seemed to feel this didn't reflect badly on him.)
Having had the opportunity of being in love with a Norwegian in my short life, I can vouch for the fact that most of the serious activities that Norwegians participate in involve cheese, beer, death metal and nudity. They are indeed a great race of people.
you forgot skintight jeans and pastels, lee lee.
and that's just the males.
Who's up for a group protest at the Big Day Out?
better still, get thee to sydney for the australian idol final.
we'll protest against the evils of pretty-boy midget singers.
Heh. Making the lesbian finger-bang on the steps of the Opera House while Anthony Callea goes the hack. Gold.
Nads, there is NO WAY we're going to be in Sydney for that weekend. I stress, absolutely NOT A CHANCE. Not even a slight possibilty. It's completely out of the question that we would sneak up there for a weekend.
*bubble bubble bubble*
you make so nicely with the poetic imagery.
see you there, hotness!
maybe the schmitz is anti-midget and up for some protestin' too...
WOO HOO!
*catches anonymous' drift*
No...NO CHANCE
I’d do a nude protest at the Aus Idol finale, for sure. Perhaps Clem could call her mate Andrew G and ask him if he can reserve us a spot for our disrobing?
Fits - Did this jostling with horses take place outside Hawthorn Town Hall by any chance?
Apparently they made the hot sex on stage for TEN minutes and the band that was performing was called "The Cumshots". Fantastic.
so sex on stage at a rock concert is now a form of protest? Geez, what happened to the good ole' days of tying oneself to a tree? Or partaking of a hunger strike? Whilst I believe in freedom of speech, there's got to be a line somewhere, where common decency takes over and plain crudeness goes away.
Oh and that goes for those crikey god awful chants too!
Having just hoed through "Lords of Chaos", they do some pretty strange things in Norway. This is pretty mild in comparison.
Graham. (Blogger keeps forgetting me.)
That is just fucking brilliant.
Btw, Pandagate is over (It was fun while it lasted but I was getting a bit over it). Why will I never again be enlightened by MABs and her gimp Lew? Check out Two Cents: http://alexlew.blogspot.com/
So long lefties??? *ROFLMAO*
English band (residing in France) Rock Bitch do it as part of their act, and take a condom with them, which they chuck into the audience - whoever catches it (M or F) gets to fuck the band. Part of their whole theory of freeing up sexual expression (they also all live in a big commune together).
I believe that, after several years, they had to do their last performance relatively recently, owing to lack of venues who were willing to take them (owing to all the protesting nuns etc).
fuck the whole band?? coool. cos otherwise one would be bound to feel left out. i feel so tame, - up until today i was all proud of greatest sexual moment being in the crowd at a Toploader gig. and now i find i am vastly outdone.
I win!
Found my sister in our recycle bin with the boy next door. He was pants-less.
Her line (better than the cabana boy and droppd my pants) was: His undies fell off!
I calmly closed the lid and went inside for dinner.
I never learned what happened to that boy.
They were 6 at the time, and still are (it happened yesterday).
Max @ enimax@gmail.com
Then there are all those stories about The Fuck Fucks gigs - microphone stands being inserted where they oughtn't be etc.
I think that comment just made me sound like a total devo. Oh well.
Why stop at rock concerts? Obviously "protesting" at the MCG on day 1 of the boxing day test would be a crowd pleaser. Wouldn't want to get stage fright in front of 90,000 people though! there is the $5000 fine for going on the playing service to think about. On the positive side it would liven up the most pitiful spectator sport of cricket and send the members into a frenzy.
Raves? not a bad place for a protest but could go un-noticed.
Live to air TV. ie The Panel. The good thing about this local is by the time the producers hit the dump button, most blokes have already finished. Boom tish.
The ultimate place for a political "protest" is of course Canberra. How about during family firsts maiden speech? It aint called maiden for nothing.
woof woof.
Surprised no one has yet mentioned the former NSW Racing Minister, Richard Face.
Nabakov
i am so very very up for a Family First protest. group protest, i reckon. followed by a postcoital cone or two.
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