Reasons you will hate me

hey hey,

my balls seem to change size from time to time, depending on the temperature, amount of use, duration of use and even mood. it seems to me that they've quite the little mind of their own.. yet i think they're pretty dependent on the mood of my peepee stick.
i haven't ever compared sizes of my brass balls, but my boys and i have been known to chat about the dangling height..

sighmon.

ps_ my lovely girlfriend yasemin and i will be in melbourne this weekend.. maybe you'd like to head to abode with us on saturday for a drink and a jiggle?

It all comes down to the Male Mind Ms F.Lets face it Men are concerned with the gun and the bullets! Not Smith and Weston. We like to play with our Rockets not worry about where our projectiles land; let alone the consequences! We are to busy getting ready for the next launch! Of course if the sisterhood got mischievous and colluded together they could easily begin the “Big Balls Rock Movement” like- Bigger the Balls the Better the Sex! Real men have Big Balls! Big Balls turn us on! Big Balls Taste Better! Big Balls are easier to find -Easier to Squeeze- Easier to Park!
(Parking is a Male fantasy!?) Sorry can’t reveal the details the brother hood would have me killed! I have already said too much! Besides I can feel a launch coming on! Luv Frankly Speaking.

This is true. The term 'big balls' is used to mean someone who displays courage, but it's purely metaphorical, they don't actually care about the size of their balls.
Perhaps courage isn't as important to them as sexual prowess, which they seem to think has everything to do with the size of one's penis?
Hmmm...the philosophical semantics of male genitalia. I can see it as a gender studies course.

To be honest it's a bit tough to compare lollybags with your mates unless you're both laying back, naked on the couch, with your knees around your ears...I mean, you don't really cop an eyeful of another chap's sack/duck-eggs when you're using the pisser either...all I'm saying is they're tougher to compare in size than a willy. Perhaps it's akin to the ladies trying to compare the size of their labias/vulvas?

On a related note - my girlfriend has recently discovered that if she runs her finger up the higher side of my inner thigh my bollocks will react (via reflex) and retract upwards somewhat. She finds this repeatedly and incedibly amusing. I, on the other hand, am left feeling dirty and confused.

i have another query to throw into the mix:

boys often talk about how if they had one of their lower ribs removed, they'd be doubled down and dirty 24/7.

but i wonder, would they really?

just some food for thought (so to speak).

Life is cruel Ms F in years gone by in my drunken rugby club days I was well known for my "saggy balls" there size and knee knocking! are legendary. So swelling with Male pride and only too happy to share them around imagine my shock horror when years later I found out that I had plenty of bullets but no barrel for the gun! yep born with a Vasectomy! now that's something you dont go around telling the lads! Of course the girls always like to carry out a good inspection! and usually surrender demands for a condom and no paternity issues! no family law courts!no maintanence problems, so I guess it's not all bad. I would love to show and share with you Ms F! PS: Have you ever noticed how the left one is always bigger?

la nadine -

yes.

To teste... This has been a great source of amusement for me for many years. I liken playing with testicles to watching a slinky ball move around. Endless, harmless fun. Feel dirty if you must - but I love it!

What? is that some Biblical refer to God's creation of Eve? or is this some cryptic women's stuff?
Food what smoked ribs and Tommy S? for thought? I confused Just a mere male with Ball Ache you know can't think straight, the male eqiv of a Migraine !
la nadine PLEASE EXPLAIN!!??

i wouldn't know where to start with that, anon.

http://www.devilducky.com/media/34116/

Dear Fitzarella,
men might be odd little beans (give us the flick anytime! :-) ), so i suppose that women don't have any issues to do with worrying about the size or shape of their boobs? And that's why there's no plastic surgery industry devoted to augmentation? Maybe we're all odd little beans.

When people ask me why my hair is falling out I tell them it's because I have massive testicles.

Not having any point of reference to compare myself against in this regard- I could be completely full of shit.

Any thoughts fellow baldy's?

There is big business in Dog's Balls! Sterilised dogs can have falsies put in the ball bag to make sure the dog looks right cosmetically speaking and of course to spare it any emotional scaring! Men too can have plastic balls to replace the ones removed because of cancer or injury/ accidents etc Naturally they can size up if they feel the need!

Tim boy You may have big balls? but I don't think size equates to Tetosterone production! but Baldness does!
May be Fitzy can do a ball inspection and find out who has the biggest from the male commentors on her blog! I'm willing!

ahh...this is quite fascinating.

I like the sensation of a bit o weight in my hands, gotta say. Might be harking back to my hacksack days, but it's quite a satisfying feeling.

I know big balls are a distinct problem if you play a lot of contact sports. (and no that isn't a euphemism)

maybe it wasn't funny, but in case it was just the rudely unprefaced web address, and the lack of a link, i'll try again ...

NUT BRA

I read an Age article about 2 years ago which said ball size should equate with overall size, as in a 6-foot man ought to have bigger balls than a 5-foot man. And I think that it also said that big balls were more fertile. And there was a ball-measuring device, which they pictured so you could see small vs large. I assumed that every reader of that article would have been having a quiet comparison. I checked out my fella's for sure.

Was there some sale on anonymous exclamation marks? I didn't think we got Black Friday here...

I can feel a neutering coming on.

'Hmmm...the philosophical semantics of male genitalia. I can see it as a gender studies course.'

OH GOD SUBLIME-ATION YES!!! I can see the course reader now. Lacan, Kristeva, Freud, Leslie Feinberg, Judith Halberstam, Paris Hilton et al. And I can also see the syllabus. 'From pee-pees to wing wangs - penises are always funny.'

From my experience, it's true. We don't worry about the kaboodle the way we do about the kit.

It's Smith and Wesson, whoever said Weston. Sorry, pedantic, must have something to do with the size of my balls.

No need to get teste anyway.

Hey, also, I just have to say that after reading this blog for two and a half years, my favourite ever title for one of your posts is the incredibly uncryptic BIG BALLS.

thanks, I like to leave subtlety at the door on occasion.

p.s. sighmon - I don't see why not.

Amen to that Sherriff - there's something about the way it appears in Safari's window title: "Reasons You Will Hate Me: Big balls"

I dunno about a reason to hate you per se, but certainly a reason to raise an eyebrow and give a pointed glance netherways if one were to meet you in a bar.

I had a teammate who possessed a massive scrotum (but not massive testes) and he eventually had a 'sack reduction' because it interfered with his running, sitting down, etc.

We used to have great laughs in the showers after a game ...

"hey Pete, I forgot my towel, can I borrow your sack?"

Whenever something was misplaced, "have you checked under Pete's sack?"

When it was raining on the field, "quick Pete, put up the sack!"

His nickname was 'doona.'

It was a low point in team bonding when he had his reduction.

As for giving a self-BJ, I used to be able to do this in my younger years. It's fun up until orgasm then you can expect massive cramping as everything tenses up. Really not worth it!

Pedantic and ball size is there a relationship? I personally have always found women more pedantic and thought it could be hormonal but considering if sherriff has balls or are they just small? then just may be there is some relationship? Oh now is that to many ? marks for you?

I was 12 reading Ian Fleming's You only die Once or is it Twice? When he informs the reader that young boys deciding on a career in Sumo are trained in the Art of returning the balls back into their pouch so when in the ring they can be strapped in place to avoid injury. I was intrigued by this and so learnt how to do it.
And it feels so good! to have your boys tucked away, not a bad party trick and may be one for the Pupperty Penis lads? Has any one else tried this out?

Friend of mine had cancer. Don't worry he's fine.

But there was 'fluid' that was gathering in the... er right sack. This is apparently quite 'normal'.

After six months it was (according to him) "like a mango and a strawberry" and getting in the way (so had an operation).

Despite large testicle he, unsurprisingly, he had no sex life during that period of time.

Oh and that was the first time in my adult life that testicle size had been discussed.
They were discussed in earlier years as puberty hit and various guys' balls starting dropping.
(The ball drops, then the voice)

Worried about the size of our balls? Would we suck our own cocks if we could all day? Doubt it. Back in the day when we owned women we could have got our cock sucked all fucking day if we wanted to but no, we got busy inventing little things like the wheel, the written word, civilisation, engineering, science, medicine, etc. Maybe if you didn't come in at the eleventh hour and demand to be treated as though you are a direct descendant of the founding fathers you would know this you fucking weak dog. Go and paste on your makeup (aka whore mask) and read celebrity gossip while suing people that pinch you on the arse for one second you lame cockwashing cunts. I'll throw acid on your face and whore you out to hiv infected prisoners if you don't shut the fuck up and go quietly bitch ho. And remember, you're fuckin nothing. And next time I get asked for money for the "most important cancer in the world" tit cancer, I am going to smash you in the face and inform you all of the numerous studies which point to cosmetics as the cause you dumb sluts. Lawlessness pervades your future after the fall cunts. Be ready. 9/11 was in inside job

Good gravy. What an alarmingly abrupt post-script at the end there, Anon.









I agree with the rest, though. Fuck us dumb sluts to hell and back.

Damn it! I was always wondering where that 9/11 got to - if only I had searched in inside job. You're one wily fucker anon.

hey dave didn't see you at the meeting!

*waves*

how is your descent into seamless psychosis going?

Anonymous at 7.25pm Fuck I'm anonymous on this blog a number of times today I don't want to be confused with that mean bitter fucker! The dude makes it hard of all us ball carriers! Any ideas on a blog name? PS I love your response Ms f, and I think its safe to say if we could suck our own dicks we would.I prefer someone else too but many a lonely time could have called for such skill, of course never contented we would spend time ponding if only I could suck my own balls too!
Luv Frankly Speaking

there's a vas deferens between smith & weston and smith and wesson. (vas deferens = vast difference? i know you're out there; i can hear you breathing.)

actually, i'd like to turn this seemingly innocuous query on its head, fits - why do *most* chicks pay fuck all attention to balls when going down on us? (i'm sure not your good self...). the truly exceptional do, sure, and are accordingly memorable... *sighs*. and i'm not just talking fleeting liaisons, i am referring to the vast majority of supposedly educated, aware, experienced women - can i get a witness, fellas? not enough attention - in general - paid to the rambutans?

I may not have big balls, but I have had hotballz

The better question is... why does girls worry more about the size of their ummn, 'thingy'. Y'know - 'whos'ts'.
Why does the guy always have the little todger... don't you ladies ever worry that maybe you just have a huge, gaping, cavernous... uhhh...

("well, not BEFORE you said anything, no...")

Timboy I have to say thank god in a crisis the vase was not mixed up with vick's now that's a fate worse then tooth paste! something a boy scout does not have to be prepared for in this day and age!But in a cyclist life well I defer to those who race?But it did toughen me up a bit but from memory I did not sleep that night in fear of repeat episode of male bonding!and yes I wet the bed and yes I took my teddy to camp and yes my dad said what you survive makes you stronger TELL THAT TO MY BOYS WITH SECOND DEGREE BURNS!
I think Ms F has gone to bed?

My main problem is that my balls are too huge. My cock feels dwarfed. Poor fella

testiclay specifications are not important - they are just hangers on.

When I was 15, I had to go to hospital for about month, the first couple of weeks I was in intensive care in a medication induced haze/semi concious state. They moved me to the wards and I started to come to normal town. Over the course of the day that I drifted in and out I kept having this weird dream about this grumpy old man with a watermelon for a testicle. It was no dream. The guy opposite me in the ward had contracted elephantitis and felt the need to air his melon teste 24 hours a day. About 15 feet from me. Even when people came to visit either of us. It had kind of 'swallowed' the other ball and his knob and so all he had was a hole in his scotum where the skin had been pulled over everything else.
And he was really grumpy too, always yelling at the nurses and calling them 'Tootsie' so they would never help him very quickly. One time they took too long with the bottle and he wet himself. The urine just sort of poured and spayed out of his teste hole, like a nice garden water feature. At 15 this was both the most horrifying and fascinating thing imaginable.
Then the was the incident with the young man, the clevage and the sponge bath...

This reminds me of Clerks:

Dante: "What an embarrassing way to die."
Randal: "That's nothing compared to how my cousin Walter died."
Dante: "How did he die?"
Randal: "He broke his neck."
Dante: "That's embarrassing?"
Randal: "He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick."
Dante: "Shut the hell up."
Randal: "I swear."
Dante: "Stop it."
Randal: "Bible truth."
Dante: "Oh, my god."
Randal: "Come on, haven't you tried to suck your own dick?"
Dante: "No."
Randal: "Yeah, rught. You're so repressed."
Dante: "Because I never tried to suck my own dick?"
Randal: "No, because you won't admit to it. As if a guy's a bleeping pervert 'cause he tries to go down on himself. You're as curious as the rest of us, pal. You've tried it."
Dante: "Who found him?"
Randal: "My cousin? Mom found him. It was a mess. He was on his bed, with his legs doubled over himself. Mom freaked out."
Dante: "Made it, huh? Dick in his mouth?"
Randal: "Yeah. Balls resting on his lips."
Dante: "Wow. He really made it."
Randal: "Yeah, but at what a price."
Dante: "I can rever reach."
Randal: "Reach what?"
Dante: "You know."
Randal: "What, your dick?"
Dante: "Yeah, like you said, I guess everyone get's culrious and tries it sometime."
Randal: "I never tried it. bleeping pervert."

I had an infection about two years ago that caused my boys to swell to the size of lemon. It was very painful and did cause me problems when I sat down. The doctor laughed at me, which seems to be reoccuring problem with me and doctors.

yay for the topic. it's about time us ladies put male bits under the microscope.

hey guys, girls are too polite to tell you we think your meat and potatoes are weird looking, downright ugly, veiny, and often stink [especially you beer and scotch drinkers]. we don't tell you because we don't want to hurt your feelings, or some shit, or because we like or love you and forgive you your imperfect jigglies.

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I am a guy who definitely thinks the size of balls counts. A large dick seems better with a large pair of balls. A big dick and tiny balls is not that impressive. Americans should view a guys testicles in a better light. They are very important too. Without them, the penis would look very lonely...