Big house manners.
This morning I interviewed a nice lady who was jailed for 17 years - five of those on death row - for a crime she didn't commit. Here are some things I thankfully refrained from saying to her*.
1. 'I like what you've done with your hair. Did your stylist do it that way in priz?'
2. 'Do you think a nation lost its innocence the day Paris Hilton was returned to jail?'
3. 'BOO!'
4. 'So....seventeen years behind bars and totally innocent. ( long pause) Shit happens, eh?'
5. 'Did it freak you out knowing that when you were incarcerated Elton John was straight and when you were released he was homo? Or was it something you had always quietly suspected?'
* Really, what can you say to someone who has been through something so intense? Just go buy her book, for fuck's.
154 days til the next election.
Comments
I read her book on the weekend - it was very interesting. What was she like? Although I dont know about eating dirt from her parents grave.
Point number five about Elton John is golden. You funny, funny bugger.
Here's another in the same vein, the Memphis three. The only problem is they're still in prison. There were two damn fine docos on this case.
Visit http://www.wm3.org/splash.php.
About 10 years ago I interviewed four South Americans whose plane crashed on a mountain. They ate some of their dead mates to stay alive. Actually, they said, people taste like pork.
What questions would you like to ask them dearest Dollfits?
I was thinking "Would you do it again with black bean sauce?" or "Who got the crackling".
Except they ate their friends mostly raw.
Dear Fits
Coincidentally, I’VE just interviewed a man who has been in prison for thirty-two years for a crime he did commit.
I asked him what the first thing he’d do when he got out was, and he told me he intended to go into the first pub he came by and get drunk.
“What then?” I asked. “Go to the train station and stab someone” He replied. Do you think our interviewees are related?
PS Single ply toilet paper is cheaper in price terms, but multi-ply is actually cheaper in real terms because you use less of it, and get a better wipe besides.
But you forgot to mention if the book was any good, or do you just feel sorry for her?
Hey Fits,
I’ve just finished ghost writing the autobiography of a man who stole a toilet from Bunnings Warehouse and got eight years.
He was caught when he took it into a BYO Thai joint in Flemington Rd. They rang the police when he took a dump in it and complained because there was no toilet paper.
Try making four hundred pages out of that!
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