Reasons you will hate me

Howard has had 13 years to deal with "our hurricane katrina".

Marching in the troops now is only going to malign community relations even further.


BTW, you are getting really good at this photoshop buisness.

So, now that they've taken all the porn and beer away from those lonely miners and pasturalists, how will they spend thier free time?

I'm with my (WA) premier on this one. Howard has had 11 years to do something about this. In WA we've been attempting to deal with the troubles in aboriginal communities and with no help from Howard. But now, just before an election, he suddenly decides to do something. As Alan Carpenter said, he's found the rabbit to pull out of the hat. (As he always bloody does.)

Oh how I long for the election! The evil bastard!

This doesn't go far enough. Why not treat every Muslim as a terorist and limit their freedom of expression and association, and deny their basic legal rights through new powers to pinch suspects off the street and incarcerate them for unspecified periods, with the only necessary justification being a hunch.

Oh, we already have that? Well, we need a new 'war' then. Let's see, we've done Drugs, Terrorists and now Abo's (again). I know, let's start a War on Trade Unions!

Forget to mention that surely the Libs can send some footage to Channel 9 of a new round of boat people hitting the shores in northern WA. Get to war on those evil bastards too!!!!

Apropos nothing, I was just wondering about the sort of people who form the RYWHM readership. Now, I’m not being nasty.

The age group, I’d say, would be twenty-six to forty five. Younger people would not have the maturity to deal with Fits; older people would probably be uncomfortable with the medium and technology.

You will be of that thirty-five percent of the populace whose IQ is a higher number than the one on the label on the back of their underpants (if worn).

In no particular order, you are likely to be one of the following.

A neurotic and fretful female, who would like to be Fits but does not have the confidence to make it happen, so lives a large part of her life vicariously by observing the doings of Fits and others of her ilk.

A feminist of varying degrees of rabidity for whom Fits is a folk hero; going places in a ruthless business dominated by narcissistic sociopaths, yet who is able to maintain a cutesy girlishness.

A gay person of either gender. The males will simply adore the itsy-bitsy thing and want to coo and purr over her. The females will want to get her in the sack. Interestingly, of those of you who wish to express your admiration of Fits in the physical form, it is most likely to be a gay lady who will succeed. Just a thought.

A SNAG, hopelessly infatuated with Fits. Sorry lads, even I’ve got more chance than you. Deep down in the fish part of the brain, which controls these things, most women want, and are attracted to, men men. Fits is most women.

And even if you are successful in your attempts to whistle Fits down from her tree and walk around with her singing on your shoulder, you will be very disappointed and it will all end in tears.

This is because you do to Fits in your head what I do to her in Photoshop, which is take an image of the real Fits and superimpose your own particular fancy on it.

With your airbrush and clone tool you have created a fantasy Fits, and by definition real life can never match up to a fantasy. It’s like trying to prove a negative. Again, sorry.

Next, you’ll be a weirdo of either gender, more probably a male than not, who is socially inept and reliant upon masturbation for sexual release. Again, such a person will have created a fantasy version of Fits, that while more sinister than that of the SNAG, is essentially harmless; most such people are far too scared to act on their impulses.

Or lastly, a student of Fits who is trying to learn her tricks with a view to obtaining a career advantage. Good on you and I hope it works out, but don’t hold your breath, particularly if you’ve got emphysema or live in Melbourne.

In Australia in general and Melbourne in particular, the lollies are handed out based on your pedigree as much as anything else, and Fits is so well bred she can hardly stand up.

Actually, to be fair, it’s pretty much a universal principle.

Uncle mikeed1313 has witnessed the phenomenon many times, and in a very rare moment of candour will reveal a personal detail to you to illustrate the point.

In another time and place, Uncle mikeed1313 used to fly aeroplanes for the White Man. The thing about this is that all professional pilots are very good at flying, because it is impossible to bullshit your way through the exams and flight tests.

So given the fact that, technically, everyone who is qualified is of an equal standard, so the good jobs generally go those with the best connections.

But it is still possible to get there through raw talent, ruthless ambition, and If you are a lady, screwing the boss. It really does work; I’ve seen it happen.

mikeed1313 said:

tl;dr

I'm not a real Howard fan but sorry guys lets not be so quick to rag old johnny on this one. There is a massive problem out in those communities(I know this as I have family who have worked in these areas) and enough is enough something has to be done today not tomorrow and basically another day wasted is a another day a defenceless child or woman will be attacked. If you want to argue the point then I suggest you may want to swap places with one of them for a week.

M1313: So, which one are you?

Fricky: No one's denying something needs to be done. The government's motive for doing something now, or trying to make it look like they are, is highly suspect and it's not just relevant to the election. The re-election motive calls into question the effectiveness of the way they're going about it and whether they'd bother to keep it up after getting re-elected. Basically, criticism of motive = criticism of whether it'll work.

I don't think someone who exploits sexually-abused children in order to preserve his own power should be allowed anywhere near them, frankly, let alone have power over their destiny. It really is a new low. They've probably got dirt units out trying to dig up a female "circumcision" scandal as we speak.

Mikeed1313, you left off people who just think this blog is occasionally witty, and read it occasionally for a chuckle, as they also read other blogs, and don't have any particular weirdo obsession with the author.

Actually, though it might be missing the point, I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with lolaborigines. It could be considered a little demeaning...

Jeremy - I agree. Particularly the poor grammar ... while I get the intention, it's in poor taste, you know, bearing in mind that the report highlights problems with poor access to education

mikeed, whilst it's true that people use fantasy as a kind of blank screen onto which to project their fantasies, I can assure you that this is not my reason for reading this blog. After all, if you simply want fantasy, God made Monica Belluci...

You also left out another category of reader - the angry fans of Tim Blair or Young Libs members who not-so-subtly point out their ideological differences to Ms Fits. That, and the angry stalkers.

Actually, I find the sending in of troops and stripping of rights a little more demeaning than the use of pop culture to highlight a major flaw in the government's masterplan, but I do get your point.

You are correct to observe that I left out the casual readers and political types. They are a given or they fall into a sub-category of the above.

Re. Howard's latest excursion, it is simply more of his panic-mongering, war madness and political satanism. Tampa, in short.

The sad thing for us all, a majority of the populace will be fooled yet again by the filthy little cunt, because when I wrote that only 35% of the population have IQ's higher than their underpants size.....

........I WAS NOT FUCKING KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!

Even 774 listners were ringing in praising the little fuck, for Christ's sake!

That is why it is very important that people like Fits use their celebrity to keep a discussion going that will hopefully see some sort of leadership arise to dig us out of this steaming heap of shit we're in.

Well, if that's how they treat their women and children, and if they don't want to integrate with Australian society, and if they won't respect our laws, then why don't they go back to their...oh.

http://duneprincess.wordpress.com/2007/06/19/lolpms/

That man in the hat. I want to vote for him now.

Sorry Fits, I normally agree with you on such issues but you really have no idea what you are talking about. Spend some time in some of the communities that these policies will affect and I think you will change your mind quick smart. Ideologically I have all sorts of issues with these policies but the reality is so desperate that something this paternalistic needs to be done. My partner and I worked in aboriginal communities between 1998 and 2002 and if you saw the suffering we witnessed, you'd understand that what Howard is doing (no matter how cynical his motives) will be of huge benefit to the most vulnerable in these communities. Have a read of what Noel Pearson has said about this issue for some more insight.

Bullshit, 8.51. As soon as those scumbags have conned their way back into office, this whole thing will disappear quicker than shit down a toilet. Don't be so naive; if there was any real intent to do something about this it would have happened years ago.

We send our military and police all around the Asia Pacific to restore law and order. Seems appropriate to do so here, doesn't it? Nobody wants to see a military-style intervention here at home, but everything that has come before has failed. Lasting social change requires a base of law and order. Without it, community development is like herding cats. JH accepts full responsibility should it go pear-shaped. Rudd has indicated ALP's support. Hopefully the process will be open enough to allow experts (not us, but real experts) sufficient input and a chance to flesh out the detail that is likely to be missing. Mr Howard, as an ALP voter, I sincerely wish you the best of luck on this one.

Mike 1313 - again, thanks for the thoughtful input on a subject which is obviously very close to your heart. Go play on a road.

ms fits said...
Actually, I find the sending in of troops and stripping of rights a little more demeaning than the use of pop culture to highlight a major flaw in the government's masterplan, but I do get your point.


What I find more demeaning is kids being bashed and raped. Sorry to be dramatic but that is the reality of what is happening in endemic numbers. It would never be tolerated in white suburbs. I'd wish some of the well meaning posters here would take the time to read the Little Children Are Sacred report or the Breaking the Silence report. These have not been written by rabid right wing lunatics but by people who have spent much of their lives fighting for the rights of Aboriginal people.

The ignorance displayed by some posters here is shocking. Noel Pearson said it best when responding to well intentioned yet clueless opponents of these measures, "Ask the terrified kid huddling in the corner when there's a binge drinking party going on down the hall. Ask them if they want a bit of paternalism. Ask them if they want a bit of intervention because these people who continue to bleat on without looking at the facts, without facing up to the terrible things that are going on in our remote communities, these people are prescribing no intervention, they are prescribing a perpetual hell for our children."

Thank god Kevin Rudd has the good sense and decency to not make this a political issue and do the right thing.

I'm with you mikeed1313 (9:25).

And Noel Pearson has been pushing his ideologically driven arguments for years. Embrace neoliberalism, give up collective rights, hand over land, privatise services, etc.

What, ten Police members from each State and a few soldiers are going to clean up a problem that has been developing for 250 years? Three months before a tight election?

No-one ever heard the term 'photo opportunity'?

Anyone who thinks that this is anything less than a stunt of barely believable political cynism is Forrest Gump, a Liberal party stooge, or someone who was yanked out of the womb with forceps then dropped on his head on the delivery room floor after a long, long labor.

Ohh, I liked this post very much. Brilliant.

Also: to that boring man. We gay men like Fits for all manner of reasons. Personally I go for the sharp wit, the writing talent, the highly individual and entertaining turn of phrase, the consistency, the general air of glamour. I think if I cooed over her I would receive a punch to the mouth, so you are WRONG. I do not coo overly either.

I support Howard's plan, because I read that in five years it will make everything lovely again. And I am pro-loveliness.

Perhaps then the Aborigines will stop bothering us real people.

To Fop. I'm not a boring man. I'm an interesting man. Phzzz to you.

so mikeed1313 2:44, you don't fly the planes for the white man no more due to your mental instability?

YAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHA! 11.17, you don't know too many pilots!

I'd advise a night out at a competent pub/bistro.

ill-informed rantings and half-baked theories from someone who should know better.

its all there; in the disclaimer

"These have not been written by rabid right wing lunatics but by people who have spent much of their lives fighting for the rights of Aboriginal people."

Then why isn't Howard following the suggested plans for response outlined in these reports, instead of proposing policies that are unworkable due to lack of doctors and police, that treat all Aboriginals as either victims of abuse or abusers, and that undermine Aboriginal communities' rights to control access - when most abusers of Aboriginal children come from outside their communities?

Even if one accepts that Howard's motives are good, rather than say, fuelled by the desire to wrong-foot Labour in the election or undermine Aboriginal land rights, many a good intention has led to policies that have been ineffective or outright detrimental to the communities they're intended to aid. One of the best ways to ensure this happens is to not consult with the affected communities, and/or to only listen to those people whose analysis and opinions coincide with the policies you've already decided you want to implement. I think Howard has clearly demonstrated how committed he is to meaningful consultation.

Oh, now, c'mon folks - calling Little John a cynic! Anyone who thinks he doesn't care for the children only needs to look at how he treated them in our detention centres.

He is truly a man of integrity, a man without malice, and the epithet "honest" befits him now just as well as when it was first coined.

Alex Mitchell writes:

This is the last throw of the dice for John Howard. He is doing one big favour for the mining industry which he has faithfully served in public life for the past 30 years by rolling back Aboriginal ownership of their tribal lands. Cynically, cruelly but utterly predictably, he’s doing it under the hypocritical colours of humanitarianism. (Very similar to the invasion and occupation of Iraq sold as “spreading democracy”). In his four terms as PM, he has starved indigenous health, education and housing of funds, abolished ATSIC and pointedly marginalised the Aboriginal Affairs portfolio. This particular pre-election pitch is aimed at Lateline viewers, readers of The Age and The SMH and ABC stalwarts, the demographic that constitutes Australian (small “l”) liberalism. These are the feeble-brained, hand-wringers who are congenitally incapable of separating the wood from the trees. They are types currently heard sobbing: “I’m no fan of Mr Howard, but at least he’s DOING SOMETHING!” Yes, he is: he’s giving the mining giants the leg-up they need to start exploring, digging and quarrying in indigenous lands in the Northern Territory and then elsewhere. He is being aided and abetted by Kevin Rudd’s craven behaviour. Instead of falling into line with Howard’s agenda, he should have demanded complete details of the plan, the highest-level briefing, sought face-to-face meetings with Aboriginal leaders, state premiers, police and army officers and taken the lead in a national debate. Instead, he mouthed pieties such as “I’m taking Mr Howard at his word” and “I believe the Prime Minister when he says he is responding to a national crisis” etc etc. Has anyone realised that these are almost the same words used by Kim Beazley when he backed Howard during the Tampa scam? By his pusillanimous approach, Rudd has vacated leadership on the tragic issue of rescuing Aboriginal communities and given Howard the opportunity to play his sickening Father of the Nation role. Paul Keating, you were right about the Rudd team of fixers, hucksters, flyweights and spineless opportunists. Alex Mitchell

Anonymous/Alex Mitchell:

Actually the first thing Rudd did after saying that he would support the Prime Minister in his efforts to combat etc etc (note he did not say he would support the actual policies) was to ask for a full briefing for himself and relevant members of his team. I think he should take a firm stand too, but if he just stands up and says "what the government is doing is wrong" he'll be howled down as "not caring about the children". He has to find the holes in the actual policy, and that takes time. Here he is on Cairns radio starting to take that approach (via ).
If he doesn't stand up in the next couple of months and say what the government is doing wrong and what the Labor Party would do differently, I'll be as disappointed as you. But give him time first.
Keep in mind that there is nothing Rudd can actually DO to stop this from happening if Howard chooses to do it - except get himself elected Prime Minister.

I am in despair.

...







and possibly moving to Antarctica.

Well fuck me if I don't find myself agreeing with Mikey boy. Wonders shall never cease.
At no point has anyone suggested that something doesn't need to be done in remote aboriginal communities. No one is suggesting that the situations out there aren't fuck beyond the capacity of our middle class understanding. I think what people are debating is whether the Liberal govt "Bold Plan" is either:
a) An actually tenable plan; or
b) More than a fucking last ditch election ploy that will be dumped 5 mins after they're back in the House or;
c) In anyway addressing the actual issues in a manner thats sensitive or demonstrative of a basic understanding of human rights.

Or that's my take on it.

Couldn't have put it better myself, Doc.

Hey what's wrong with masturbation?

(I am an extreme Chomsky reader so plese dont attack me as a Tim Blairite) I think the Left should take a back seat and let right wing orgs and right wing people have carte blanche over the issue and then really stick the boots in if it indeed goes pear shaped. But I think it goes way beyond this right/left culture war dichotomy anyway. Howard is a shrewd operator who knows this and has already done enough polarising to get a kind of forment going over his suitability as leader. All Rudd can do is sit back and offer bipartisan niceties. Thats smart politics people. Its cynical but its extremely smart. The left should just go "okay right wing organisation lets do it your way. You lead us." I think the Right has always been looking for an opportunity to prove that its theories are correct (a scary prospect I know) so the Left should just give them the rope. I guess im just being naive. I dunno. Another baccy bong perhaps??

Hi

I used your "Dont Fuck It Up" Rudd piccy in a silly rant/mass-cut-n-paste i did on my blog...Nice pic!

http://www.benlombardo.com/?p=213

Look forward to seeing you again on that tedious bookclub show on ABC, your the only reason to watch it really haha!

dear miss fits

I graduated in 1999 am i too young hehe

no no seriously I admire what you do. It is nice to find a website with someone who has the courage to stand up for what they believe in, keep it up . im from adelaide and im 25. i was wondering since im here what's your stance on the nuclear arms and should they be part of our world?


alex