Reasons you will hate me

d,b,c,c

below waist hugz rule. that's what i want for christmas.

And so it shall come to pass, young man.


*waves Christmas wand**








*blatantly not a metaphor.

I'm going with 'a' as 'd' is too obvious.

b) 'Bolt in shop. Please advise as to course of action. Hurry.'

a) 'Shoot to kill, my friend.'

b) 'He's chunked up a bit since that last byline photo was taken'

b) Charles Fleming's High Concept: Don Simpson and the Hollywood Culture of Excess

d
d
c
b

Hi,

D
A
B
B

Excellent quiz.

HE READS BOOKS?

I can't choose, they are all too good an option.
Especially the cock punch, shoot to kill, Vagina Monologues and the Bride Stripped Bare.

I am seriously considering giving him one of my few author's copies of my books, just so he might actually learn something about Australian history (I stilll can't get over "Australians stealing Aboriginal children just because they were black" ah ha! ah hahahaha!you moron) and get
some idea about the concept of art.

This would be inscribed on the title page:
Dear Andrew,

Please read before you ever write about art again.

Signed,
Me.

Should I do it?

Hi!

Actual SMS conversation went thus:
C
A
B
C

SMS conversation R.Y.W.H.M readers WOULD have liked to see?

b) 'Bolt in shop. Please advise as to course of action. Hurry.'

Response: sit tight. Offer him a latte (white, natch). I'm bringing the polonium 210..

*ends*

1. B
2. C
3. B
4. B

But forget all that because Warne has retired.

1. This would depend on whether it was from Dr. Book or his lovely assistant.

Dr. Book: (d)
Assistant: (c)

2. They're all equally plausible but imagining (c) amuses me the most.

3. (d) I knew it.

4. Either (c) because he's totally in love with you, or (b) because he's looking for more evidence of decadent left-wing influence over the Abyss of Despair to wank off to when Sally's "unclean".

D
A
B
B

And a merry Christmas to you too!
But not to Bolt - hope he gets a papercut from his new book.

There's only two novels listed there, and if it's c) then he would seem to be doing some stalkerly research in the vicinity of your literary tastes, Fits. Possible, but I'll go with a).

NOT ONE OF YOU HAS NAILED IT YET.

Can I have a go yet?

So, d), a), b) for the other three.

NO BOOKY YOU MAY NOT HAVE A GO.






p.s. Joseph - nup.

Hi Fits. I can't stop reading AB's blog right now! What started as an 'understand the enemy' thing has moved on to become a perverse, grubby obsession. Advice please! (Valium and a lie-down didn't work)

Earths Molten Core, i myself had an unhealthy obsession with the bolta's blog, sorry mate. You just have to go cold turkey.

Ummm ...

D
C
A
D

Nope.

was it don simpson that had to have a new pair of (black) jeans for every wear ? he basically counter-predicted the subsequent jeans trend of the more washes before u buy the better, not to mention it's very hard to buy non-distressed black jeans.

This probably contravenes blog quiz regulation #436 but I'm giving it another shot. Dammit.

C
A
A
D

c,d,c,c

Earth's Molten Core- You gotta give up that stuff. Dying of apoplectic rage is not pretty.

d, c, b, a

Still no.



Boy, this game is fun.

I once had the misfortune of having to 'work' (in a sense) with Bolt.

I wanted to give him a wedgie every time I saw him his harry-high-pants and his simpering face... thus I say

C - C - B - B ?

AAAA
BBBB
CCCC
DDDD
ABCD
DCBA
BCDA
CDAB
etc...

IT'S MY DICK IN A BOX!

D
A
A
Bolta!

c,c,c,d


if the postage wasn't rediculous, i'd give andy a little dick in the box for x-mas.

D, C, D, C?

I've seen Confederacy of Dunces in discount bins lately: I'd imagine he'd give it a bash if he didn't have to pay full price.

Hi ms fits, I'm going with b,b,b,b. What do I win? A below-waist hug? I think I already got one of those last year. How about some jocks and socks instead?

A, A, B, A.

Just because I think him buying book called 'The Bride Stripped Bare' is funny.

B,D,B,B

b) 'Bolt in shop. Please advise as to course of action. Hurry.'

d) 'RUN. RUN FOR THE HILLS.'

b) 'He's chunked up a bit since that last byline photo was taken'

b) Charles Fleming's High Concept: Don Simpson and the Hollywood Culture of Excess

c'arn Fitz - don't keep us in suspenders any longer!

Right you are then.



The real honest-to-goodness true dinks answers are:



b)'Bolt in shop. Please advise as to course of action. Hurry.'



a) 'Shoot to kill, my friend.'*



b) 'He's chunked up a bit since that last byline photo was taken'



c) John Kennedy Toole's A Confederacy of Dunces.



WHY IS ANDREW BOLT SUDDENLY MAKING PURCHASE OF MY FAVOURITE BOOK, WHY WHY WHY.




I feel dirty.






Well, moreso than usual.






*this of course delivered in a highly jesting and in no-way-to-be-taken-seriously-officer-I-come-in-peace fashion.

I am more horrified to hear Confederacy is in bargain bins fer fuck's!

So it's true, he is in love with you.

Now, can you start telling everyone you love Henry Reynolds books and we'll just see what happens then?

Actually, the sms I sent back after finding out which book he purchased was exactly that: HE LOVES ME.





I am obsessed with myself.

:-(

So close!

A former Kennett government PR person drinks at my local, he seriously cracks the sads if you try and bag Bolt. He could more than handle himself in a fight I am told.

I was just waiting for the punch line.

Anything that starts out with "Andrew Bolt walked into a bookshop" should at least end with "the surgeons did their best, but their best efforts were ultimately in vain" or other such hilarity.

To be honest, I am glad there are folk like Bolta on the earth, it makes it so much easier to assure myself that, yes, I am doing the right thing, and most people are just awful, which makes me love them like spastic orphans.

I think I have had too much Christmas spirit, perhaps.

ahhh shit man. Misread your initial post....I have been puffing away on me crack pipe since yesterday and was about to post saying...I have had enough crack - now what's the answer?

I'm going with 4xA. I have hopes!

Ooh...ick...

"When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him"

He'll love it.

bet all you all wank on about human rights and david hicks too

what about the right to privacy?

irony is usually lost on your ilk

It shows Andrew Bolt knows a good book when he sees it

I note none of you seem to have read the book yourself

too busy swallowing michael moore type tripe i guess

hope the idiot shopboys who sms'd from the bookstore enjoy filling in their centrelink forms

Why would anyone want to read that book anyway? It's full of big stupid words. Plus my arm's exhausted from wanking over my David Hicks montage.

Anon, please send your details so I can get some help with those forms.

Kind regards,


Idiot Shopboy.