But ours is, you know, funny and light-hearted.
Christ, I've missed you. Have you been gnashing your teeth and wailing as I had naked spa parties and leered suggestively at lanky teenage girls in Lorne? I'm sorry. I had every intention to blog, but you know how it gets when you're in a police holding cell. We're here together now and that's the main thing.
I promise I'll blog about Nadine's visit tomorrow. Did you know I totally stuck my big toe in her asshole? No lie.
It's 2005, which means it's once again time for everyone's favourite poor-taste game, Celebrity Sweepstakes . Yes it's repulsive, but it's also a defiant digging in of the pop culture heels. Twenty bucks gets you entered - if you're keen, email me. I totally won't count it as stalking if it's just the one time.
Here, then, are the names that have been picked already and are thus off the list:
George Clinton, Bootsy Collins, James Brown, Anna-Nicole Smith, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Jordan, Hazel Hawke, Flo Bjelke-Petersen, Nancy Reagan, Quentin, Mike Willisee, Clint Eastwood, Bob Hawke, Jack Nicholson, The Queen, the Pope, Boris Yeltsin, Kerry Packer, Dick Cheney, Estelle Getty, George Lucas, Nelson Mandela, Richie Benaud, Muhammad Ali, Prince Charles, Cnl. Gaddafi, Kirk Douglas, Graham Kennedy, James Stewart, Richard Widmark, Charlton Heston, Courtney Love, Maradona, Lou Richards.
Alt. tasteless have their own version of the game, but I feel ours is uniquely Australian and therefore somehow more laconic and dry. At least that's what I tell myself at night before I fall asleep to the sound of my soul slowly but decisively rotting.
Happy Nude Year.
1011 days til the next election.
Comments
I'm in. How many guesses do I get? Do you get points for age subtracted from 100? I'll give you my top 5 in preference order. Can't email you without your address... how crap a stalker am i? You deserve better *sniff*
1. Ronnie Biggs
2. Richard Pryor
3. Pinochet
4. Jerry Lewis
5. Elizabeth Taylor
*PS: by "preference order" I doesn't mean that I want #1 to die more than #2... I meant if I get less than 5 picks then you can knock off the last one/s from my ballot. Knock off. heh heh.
the busty blondes are going down i tell you. and not in the licky sucky way. oh no. they is going down in the ouchy deathy way.
oh dear. i'm going to hell for sure. at least i pledged money to a worthy tsunami-relief cause today or i'd feel somewhat shallow.
Right, well, Rupert Murdoch, definitely. And Ariel Sharon's not that unlikely.
For numbers three and four, I'm going for a long-odds ones. Kerri-Anne Kennerley and Ray Martin. It could happen!
Number five, er, Steve Irwin. We can but hope.
Ernest Borgnine for sure. Supermercado Adam and I are calling this one now.
Is Nathan Cavalieri still alive?I think I saw him on telly a few years back playing at an AFL final but I'm not sure.I hate to say it but Gough's looking a bit shaky on his haunches these days.In fact I'm not sure if he's still alive,I've been overseas for five months.Anyway here's my list:
1)Gough Whitlam
2)Malcolm Fraser (though I hope he kicks the bucket long before Gough)
3)The Queen (isn't it about time?)
4)One of the Queen's corgis (if they're still alive)
5)David 'the Hoff' Hasselhoff
I don't know your e-mail address but Boud and la Nadine have mine and I want you to stalk me.
James Stewart died years ago.
Here's some photos I took over the new year:
New Year's Eve 2004
http://photos.timchuma.com/NewYearsEve2004/index.html
New Year's Day 2005
http://photos.timchuma.com/NewYearsDay2005/index.html
Chris from the Twits already has a girlfriend.
Tim.
Okay folks:
1. You're only allowed THREE NAMES. So Fluffy and Lefty, your first three are locked in.
2. You can email me at freakymissus@yahoo.com.au
3. Don't get too excited. It is one of my many email addresses as I am quite popular.
4. I know it is a gay email address. My friend Dirty Derek picked the name for me. He is a cruel man.
5. You're right, James Stewart is dead. Well picked. I am now going to pretend like it was a deliberate mistake.
6. Sounds like 'sex'. Heh.
7. It really, truly costs $20 to play. But it's well worth it. I swear. We'll talk turkey via emails.
Locked in? Pah. I'm going to swap Irwin for KAK, if I can only have three. KAK and Ray can wait another year. I live in hope that one of Irwin's crocs will sucessfully go for his jugular one day. Or at least rip off his testicles.
...Did you go to Falls?
Comments are closed.