Reasons you will hate me

I don't know - I think Peter Costello could actually win an election.

I think we should call Alexander Downer's offices and encourage him to run instead.

And i think everyone should email Brendan Nelson and encourage him to challenge as well.
His level of ambition is only surpassed by his level of incompetence.

Not wanting to be the ultimate party pooper, but a liberal blow up doll would beat Kim Beazley at the moment.

I don't know about that davethescot.
Are australians ready for a female PM?

What is this "beat" you're always expressing in your posts? Is that the sound of your heart anticipating something? Are you denoting suspense? Is "beat" to blogging what "meter" is to poetic verse?

oh for fuck's. please explain the beat to anonymous, fit. this is the second time someone has asked.

it's interrupting the flow, man.

let's put the beat behind us and move on.

i'll call anyone if it will help liberal divisiveness.

In a play or screen play, "beat" is used as a pause where no dialouge. Except it is mildly shorter than a pause. Notice that it is most often between two seperate statements by the same person. It divides the statements that may otherwise have a different impact if said together.
I think that is what it means anyway. Otherwise I have been using it wrong in my own writings.

Shit, you beat me to the punch Melbourne Girl. Perhaps I had a case of the Beazleys.

"Not wanting to be the ultimate party pooper, but a liberal blow up doll would beat Kim Beazley at the moment."

Today Kim accussed Howard of "telling fibs." Umm, ahh. Go Kim.

*Crawls into bed for next 482 days*

i was kinda thinking of challenging howard myself.

maybe to an election, maybe to a game of scissors/paper/rock.

i think i could possibly win both and become the ULTIMATE CHAMPION.

your thoughts?

Is it seditious to encourage some mad fucker to just SHOOT HOWARD NOW and make the rest* of Australia happy?

It is? Oh well, beter arrest me then.**

*Note - in this instance. 'the rest' refers to those of us who A) think Howard is a lying rodent, B) and are actually annoyed by this fact, as opposed to blindly accepting it as 'just one of those things politicians do.'

**But not until my mum gets back from her holiday please, I don't think she'd forgive me if I didn't pick her up from the airport.

Thank you B. S. Fairman for explaining "beat" and how it is used in screen writing. I'm glad I asked because as a long time reader (first time poster) that had me perplexed. I really did think it was the sound of Ms Fits heart denoting suspense or anxiety ...aaah well.

Beat.

As for MelbourneGirl ...er, sorry to have rattled you by asking a question - I didn't realise this was a members only blog. Back to your tired and recycled Howard Jibes and the rest....

"If anyone wants to encourage the Jon Spencer Liberal Explosion..."

HILARIOUS!

Nads,

"i was kinda thinking of challenging howard myself."

I vote Nads. BACK ME, AUSTRALIA!

Anon,

"I didn't realise this was a members only blog. Back to your tired and recycled Howard Jibes and the rest...."

Oooh. Saucer of milk to Anon. Heh! But, you know, sorry MG, but he/she does have a point.

Anyway ......

Can we call them up, randomly shouting "Liberal exploshunnn!" in a Jon Spencer sort of way? Since I have no idea who Peter Costello is.

sorry everyone for being a testy so and so. i just figured I worked out the beat, EVERYONE should be able to work out the beat. apols for sharpness of tongue etc.

but i think anon has been outed as not only beat-ignorant but a righty? have i not served a purpose here?

i will vote for nadine, but this time i really will need a t-shirt.

Do you think Costello would bring about an Australian society with less exclusivism?

Howard has been great at quietly polarising the society, particularly from a religious perspective.

It is not something that is discussed often, but it is a source of fear for average Australians. The success of Hillsong could be used to illustrate the growing religious divisions; the need for previously non-religious Australians to incorporate a religious identity.

By continually focussing on the economic leadership of this country, has Johnny left himself vunerable to wide criticism of the social leadership?

Costello would wipe the floor with Beazley. Or Gillard for that matter. Or any other leading contenders in the faction-crippled federal ALP. The best hope for the ALP would be to put Bill Shorten on the fast track to power, as they did with Hawke. Anything less and I can see the Libs holding office for another 10 years.

I vote Nads. BACK ME, AUSTRALIA!

i love you, cynic.

more than you could ever know.

have my babies?

I'm a different Annon than the previous, but I agree with her/his point - the Howard baiting is often repetitious and boring. Saying so doesn't make anyone a Tory.

Either way, with an election due late next year wouldn't it be better to encourage The Smirk to hold off at least until the Spring session before he tackles Howard and rat fucks the Libs?

Just a thought.

Oh Anon, it wasn't the "Howard" jibe I was agreeing with. I just thought MG was being unnecessarily snappy, which she has since apologised for.

As for the "recycled Howard jibes" .... RECYCLED HOWARD JIBES ARE FUN!

Dear Nads,

I most certainly will have your babies. They will be clever and attractive and have the mad cans. And their mother (one of two, just like Playschool) will be PM!

can we name them cool, hollywood-child names like "bogart" and "bracelet"?

What's the Fat Kid from Hey Dad doing these days? He's got Pete's smugness, Alex's chiseled features and Johnny's sense of trustworthiness – he could be real Liberal leadership material...

Does anyone else suspect that newieboy is also on the conservative side and not necessarily trying to help the ALP out?

This obsession with Bill Shorten is bizarre. He managed to sound mildly convincing whilst selling the fairly uncontroversial message that two guys who are stuck in a mine would be better off if we got them out soon.

This does not mean he could lead the ALP to victory whilst fighting an election on somewhat more complex issues.

Of course, I would vote for Bill Shorten, Peter Garrett, or anyone except the french guy from the Hooley Dooleys, if they were running against the Liberals.

I would vote for La Nadine's party in a second if there is a candidate in the electorate of WhereverthehellIlive.

If you are looking for a slogan for the Tshirts, may I suggest "Viva La Nadine"

Cut that shit out about the Frog from the Hooley Dooleys. This fine band was the headline act at the Sydney "Last Weekend" protest against WorkChoices. They've done more for the ALP than any of the RYWHM circle jerk.

I DO think Pete would probably be less damaging to the country than Howard is.

If Greg Combet got a decent pair of glasses, I'd vote for him.

Damn, I might even SHAG him.

Oh ... richardwatts ... I'm with you, brother! I'd do it if I didn't have two lovely little boys to raise into fine, upstanding, left-leaning members of society!

As you would attest, I'm sure, a fine upstanding member is a very important thing!

Duk.

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

Well, I've left reassuring messages with Peter's office, and Alex's office.

And felt very, very dirty. The ladies on the phone were so nice and cheerful! And now they honestly believe that I think Peter/Alex are doing a good job.

It's very unsettling.

I haven't felt this dirty since the time I went to vote in a polling booth off Chapel St JUST AS PETER COSTELLO WAS COMING OUT OF THE BOOTH. And I nodded to him and smiled, being polite, before I realised TO MY HORROR that NOW HE THINKS I'VE VOTED FOR HIM.

Oh, the shame.

i'm not craig - I'm a realistic ALP voter, that's all. Barring a major deterioration in the state of the economy (another couple of interest rate rises would help), the Coalition will win the next election.

To Anon

Wow, I actually just got called a jerk for refusing to vote for a guy who does not lead a political party, has never run in an election as far as I know, and who wears a hat that looks a bit like a soccer ball.

Seriously?

I salute the Hooley Dooleys for their fine (if hitherto unnoticed) contribution to the cause of workers rights. However, I still defy anyone who has listened to “Ready Set Go” at least four times a day for the past three months to seriously think that we should elect Antoine as PM, although I would consider it if he promises to never ever yell “fantastique” at random moments during a song again.

If you take my previous comment literally (as, surprisingly, it seems that you did), it is clear that I would in fact vote for David, Bruce, Russell or Tickle. Four out of five ain’t bad.

How would a government run by the Hooley Dooleys work exactly? Would we now hear them singing “There’s so many things to do (like balancing the budget and ratifying the Kyoto protocol) when you’re the Right Honourable Russell the Kangaroo (Member for Werriwa)” etc? Would the biggest sporting event in the country be the annual race around the loungeroom (advertising slogan “watch out for the TV”)? Would a senate committee look into the question of what exactly is a Doodat? I want answers.

To newieboy

You can see why I was confused. The ALP has enough problems without its own supporters talking it down as a faction ridden unelectable disaster. There’s no reason why Beazley can’t win the next election if the party actually gets its shit together and backs the leader. This goes for the voters too. Join us, comrade.

Yes the ALP has problems but how about the NSW Libs.
Who saw 4 Corners last night that looked at the complete takeover of the party by the fringe right?

I'm not craig - that's a very, very big "if". Would that I had your faith. And I still think it doesn't matter how strong the boot is, the door needs to be rotten for you to kick it in. I'm not sure it's rotten enough yet.

The success of Hillsong (Snorks) gives me the heebies. They are scary fuckers.

Dr Nic- the last time The little fat kid from Hey Dad was spotted he was a Church of Latter Day Staints missionary in northern Victoria. Therefore I think he might be out of the running, expect his views on religion might line up with many Liberals.

Tuesday! it's Tuesday already!

What about we all nominate a Lib and encourage them?

Also, for what it's worth, I was equating BEAT to ;

To I'm Not Craig,
I'm not the annon who had a go, tho I am the one who lifted fingers in defence of the Hooley Dooleys.

Either way you raise interesting points.

I can't see the Hooley Dooleys taking both houses. They have no budget, no policies, no candidates and - i am lead to believe - are a low-rent rip off of Another Kiddies Band.

No it's more likely they'll only take the Reps, leaving the Tories in control of the Senate.

If that's the case any changes the Hooley Dooleys try to make to Workchoices in the Lower House will be blocked in the Upper.

So the Dools will be have to deal with the remaining effective moderates in the Senate - people like Penny Wong and Bob Brown.

Perhaps I'm prejudging them, but I don't reckon those two have yet forged strong links with kiddies bands.

i'm not craig. you know, before i met you, i thought craig was the one. but now i see, it's you who are my hero. you deal with anony-mouses so well.

full of admiration right now. but i will still vote for nadine.

when is fits coming back? it's happened before; when she leaves us, we get restless and start to get narky.

Ah, Fits isn't here, eh? Then maybe my comment will remain live for more than two seconds. They seem to get deleted for some reason, leading to my suspicion that, as anonymous said to melbournegirl, this blog is members only. Either that or it's censorship. And it's not like I'm a fat-fingered, Howard-voting Tory or anything. They deserve censorship. Or at least to be told to shut up. Right, I will get back in my box now.

Personally I think the ALP should consider running a campaign with the slogan : "How would Jesus vote? - Fair Go Johnny". That would flush out the happy-clappers..

A. N. Other.

Fits...

In case no-one else's pointed it out, you made the subscriber edition of crikey with this today.

Just sharing, don't know if that's good or bad.

yes, i'm feeling abandoned. like a foundling left at the church door. ready to be adopted by angelina or jordan. when are you coming back fits?

Oh you are all such navel gazers (well, so am I, but I prefer to gaze at navels other than my own). Get a grip, people: the majority of Australians will vote for Howard if he runs again. The majority of Australians think that the ALP is a faction-ridden, policy-free, idea-less vacuum. And it is. Bill Shorten, Greg Combet, Anna Bligh (who she? Ambitious, ruthless Qld treasurer girly) Uncle Tom Cobbleigh and all. None of the above has what it takes to pull the ALP out of its self-imposed quicksand. But I do like the idea of mischief making among the Liberals. And now I'm off to do some gazing ...