Changing the world with two simple phonecalls.
Two phonecalls were made today. The first one was to the office of Her Fucking Cuntingness . If you wish to maybe register that it's kind of stomach-turning the bullshit they're pulling on the Bahktiari family - to, you know, make an example of them during the festive season - just call:
(02) 62777860
and try not to swear. It's difficult, but I managed a three-minute spit of vitriol without using the words: 'Die in fucking hell you graceless piece of thrush'.
And in other phone news:
Called Pepsi . (03) 9520 7444 . Because after driving past 'that' billboard I still couldn't figure out if it was Owen Wilson .
Got put through to marketing. On holidays. Back to switchboard. Consumer affairs couldn't help. But gave us the number (02) 8255 1900 . I have no idea who this was but they were able to help immediately.
So you want to know?
IT'S NOT OWEN WILSON.
NOR IS IT ANDREW G .
It is a surfer named Taj Burrows .
Dude, how did we ever think this guy looked like Owen Wilson? We must've been drunk.
Community service done for today. x
1022 days til the next election.
Comments
Serious? I was convinced it was Wilson. Wonder if Taj is getting paid enough to cover the obvious shame of being used as a backup Wilson.
Adam 1.0
Dear Fits,
Adam here. Again.
How about a transcript of your Vanstone convo? I'm interested to see what sort of response you got from the reception lackey. (And who, exactly, works as a reception lackey at Vanners' office? David Oldfield?)
I've been having my own bout of yuletide funs by emailing all our favorite tabloid fascists (Bolt, Blair, Henderson, that guy from the Today show and anyone else who's been running one of those sad "Put the CHRIST back into Christmas" campaigns) wishing them a very pleasant "festive season". I think I may then have proceeded to infer that they are "cunts".
May your chistmases be bless'd by baby Jesus (tm)
Adam
PS it IS Owen Wilson. I'm sure of this. There's one on the Flinders St / Wellington Pde tram route.
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No, it ain't Owen Wilson. I've seen several close-up and survived. The nose is too smooth, the smirk is too obnoxious. It ain't him.
I've just read Bob Ellis's piece re the Bachtari family (I know the spelling's wrong but I haven't got it in front of me) that bookbook has been sending around. This is so obscene. It never ceases to shock me (and I hope it never ceases to) how willing those in power are to destroy other people's lives rather than admit that they're wrong. An admission of error is an admission that they don't deserve *absolute* power. To fulfill their desire for absolute power they have to construct the world around them in such a way that their Word becomes The Truth. Of course, it's a fantasy. An incredibly obscene fantasy. That's all I can bring myself to say.
Merry Xmas Fitsy. Have a good one. See you soon. Will Santa be bringing me that "plug-in" horse tail I asked for? Yay!
*looks at the picture of Taj*
We were so, so drunk.
I haven't seen said billboard, but I didn't think of you as the bogan type, msfits. Ew.
oh, and SNORT at vanstone.com.au.
Then again, I am conflicted because I do like some of the books she reviewed... ahhh...my brain hurts.
Thank you for putting the Owen Wilson Mystery to rest. Now I can get on with my life as usual. What's the short version of this Bahktiari family business. Some of us seppos are curious. Okay, just me. But still... somebody explain.
I could have told you that, you only had to ask. Taj rocks, Owen is a smug Hollywood prick.
And I've asked Santa to deliver my present to Amanda...cancer!
Buttman
You haven't given us HFC's office's reaction...
Oh, the usual 'I'll pass that message on' business. You know how these people love to lie.
I think Vandstone deseerves and Artaudian death - anal cancer!
Oh, the stories I've heard about you lately, Ms Fits.
Tis the season to be totally stalkerific.
It's Mark Occhilupo.
Fits, Faux-Owen is in fact Mark Occhilupo. I saw the Taj one on Heidelberg Rd & it looks like the Taj pic you posted. Go here to see info about the Pepsi surfers campaign:
http://www.bandt.com.au/news/57/0c029f57.asp. Phew, what a relief that's settled.
By the way, I've enjoyed reading this blog over the past few months. Thanks to you and the fabulous comments posse for putting it all out there.
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I saw fauxOwen while I was out and took a piccie. Here's a comparison with realOwen:
http://terraismynation.blogspot.com/2004/12/causaubon.html.
There is a striking likeness.
charles say....
funny enough i have quite a large sum of money on this with other workers. theres a billboard of, what they like to believe is "Owen Wilson", near where we work and they are quite convinced or even diffenatly certain that it is. If you look close enough you notice that his jaw is none others than Mark Occhi. And besides, when has Owen ever presented himself with a beard in advertisment. Especially for pepsi.
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