Reasons you will hate me

Chelsea Peretti

There's only so hard you can try to be friends with another blogger without becoming a total internet stalker. You play it cool; leave a couple of dry and witty comments on their blog hoping that they'll read them and remark to themselves: 'My! Here's someone I must get to know a little better!'
Then they'll go check out your blog, confirm the fact that you are not only as witty and off-the-cuff as them but also quite attractive and down with 'tha' street, and desperately want to become your best friend in the whole world. This is the part where you have to play it very careful. You need to act as though you have numerous other witty bloggers clamouring for your friendship and respect and the only reason you're choosing them is because they're incredibly lucky - something for which they should thank you repeatedly until you become attractively and modestly embarrassed, chucking them under the chin and saying: 'Go on, you crazy fuck-knuckle*. Cut it out.'


Chelsea Peretti gives good funny, and I like that I can hear her voice in my head when I read her posts. She also has a fucking hilarious site called Black People Love Us which was probably cool in America about five years ago but has only now reached Australia because we are such a backwater, know-nothing, dry-vagina kind of town.








*You may also use the term 'Ya big Palooka' here, but only if you come from the USA and even then only if you are living in the 1950's and tipping some ruddy-cheeked kid who makes malteds at the Soda Shoppe.

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