Cleanliness is next to Sexiness.
Last week the lovely Monique Brumby was on Triple R to talk to us about sexualising and frottage and other such delightfully highbrow topics and the time was passed charmingly, thank you for asking.
We did, however, have the following conversation:
Me: So where's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
Monique: Weirdest, hmm...
Glenny G: Or most public.
Monique: Oh, right. Um - I dunno. There was one time in a toilet at a music festival...
Me: You mean like a portaloo?
Monique: I guess so, yeah.
Glenny G: Hot.
Monique: Not really, when you consider the state of festival toilets. But I know what you mean.
Me: And have you had sex in any other toilets?
Monique: You know, I think I have...somewhere along the line. Maybe in a nightclub or something.
Glenny G: But not at home.
Monique: Ew, no. Not in my own toilet. That would be weird.
***************
She was of course completely right.
BUT WHY?
Why would we prefer to drag someone into an unwashed cubicle in some skanky pub in order to urgently rub against them and perhaps get naked WHILE THREE OTHER PEOPLE WEE NEARBY, yet the idea of winsomely taking our partner by the hand and hotly whispering into their ear 'no, not here, darling - the toilet' is suddenly repulsive? What's the difference? Isn't the latter option a little cleaner? Sure, there's the thrill of being caught and everything BUT AT WHAT COST, PEOPLE?
I'm not saying I want to or anything. I'm just, you know. Asking.
409 days til the next election.
Comments
Given that toilets are often the only semi-private areas in a club it makes sense to retire there for some action (although in my 15+ years working in clubs I've seen plenty of people who aren't exactly worried about privacy...) but yeah, you and Monique make an intersting point - people shag on their kitchen tables, couches, in the hallway... why not the dunny?
i'd like to know if there is any answer to the question - "so where's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?" - to which glenny g would not reply with a resounding "Hot!".
You'll have to test him, la nads. I'm sure his spirit can be broken somehow.
and i think i'm just the woman for the job.
*texts glenny g*
*over and over again*
me and my (then) fiancee fucked on our toilet once, actually, but only cos it was in a weird house with a bathroom that had the toilet directly opposite/in line with the bathroom door (thank fuck the lock was a goodie...), and the door had a full length mirror on the back.
so it was more about the mirror than the armitage shanks, if you follow...
I have 2 general rules:
1) I don't do wee-wee in my bed.
2) I don't have sex in toilets.
It has served me well, so far.
Not sure about the toilet, but the laundry, that's another matter.
Kitchens... very sexy - has inspired much shagging in my life!
My bath / shower is right next to my toilet. And it has seen some action. As has the bathroom floor... So although I haven't shagged ON my own toilet, I have shagged very enthusiastically near it. In a completely non-freaky, unwierd way
I've shagged in the bathroom many times, it helps that the door locks...
Easy.
It's about what you know and can envisage, as opposed to what you can imagine.
Public is festier, you can imagine all sorts of things if you think about it. But your own loo is where you crap, vomit, drain like a percolator with the shits, pick hairs out, blast snot, pee and miss the bowl (sorry girls!) and where you know the last time you wiped up under the rim.
You KNOW these things. How can you proceed to enjoy carnality while encumbered by such knowledge?
Apparently people do in on nightclub dance floors now, so why the need for privacy?
Just do it already.
did it the other week in the rest room of a bookshop.
feel strangely refreshed and smart afterwards.
I once had to have sex in the toilet of my hotel room because of guests getting drunk inside the suite proper... that's gotta vaguely count as your own toilet?
The main difference is this:
Toilets in public are the only private, lockable space available.
Toilets at home are utilitarian, and there are plenty of options for locations du liasons in the average home, before outing yourelf as some kind of bathroom fetishist.
Also, The upstairs ladies toilets at the Tote are reasonably inconspicuous. Just FYI.
I asked a friend once where was the weirdest place he'd had sex. He replied: Belgium.
After seeing "Kenny" last night at the cinema, I don't think I'd have sex in a portaloo. But then I am pretty conservative ie. I don't have sex with strangers anywhere really. Actually I don't have sex with strangers.
shut up.
stick a chainsaw in your cunt or your anus or your pee hole. Whatever.
It's awesome that you hate people. Then again, what's not to hate?
What makes you think anyone gives a shit?
Think about how bad life could be. You could be a 12 year old girl about to get raped by a 48 year old psycotic freak.
You could be a 48 year old business man that can't keep himself from wanting to rape young ladies.
You could be Congressman Foley.
Or worse, you could be Hastert.
Shut the fuck up already.
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