Comic book dork.
It may surprise you to look at me, but I am actually a comic book dork. Does that excite you a little? I thought so.
I felt the stirrings of my childhood comic obsession when I read this in the newspaper yesterday:
'Intrepid comic book reporter Tintin, who began his adventures 75 years ago, looks like a young teen because of a growth hormone deficiency and the effects of too many blows to the head, according to a study out on Tuesday.
"This could explain his delayed natural growth, delayed onset of puberty and lack of libido," reads the study, published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal..."We hypothesise that Tintin has growth hormone deficiency and hypogonadotropic hypogonadism from repeated trauma," the study reads.
The researchers "identified 50 significant losses of consciousness in 16 of Tintin's 23 books," the report reads.
"Of these, 43 incidents involved head trauma with loss of consciousness representing grade three concussions. Tintin sustained 26 concussions resulting from a blow with a blunt object." '
Wtf? Tintin don't play that. He's a boy journalist. Forever. That's the thing with fictional characters. They remain young for as long as we want them to. Who the fuck wants to see Bart Simpson grow old except in those odd 'look into the future' episodes where he smokes cigarettes and drives a forklift? AHAHAA. Dude, that guy is destined for failure.
Anyhow, the rage within made me want to revisit some of my comic highlights with you. Let's start with ol' cowlick himself:
Look at Tintin go! Off to meet Cap'n Haddock and the crew no doubt.
You know, on reflection there's something kind of weird about a young boy in knickerbockers permanently attached to a salty sea dog, a crazy professor named Calculus and two identical gentlemen twins with big moustaches. Oh my god. Was Tintin the bitch of Marlinspike Manor? This isn't going very well at all. Let's move onto something less gay.
Ah yes, the two men with handlebar mo's wearing tights. Nice thinking, Fits.
Actually, I fucking loved Asterix and Obelix . They were wordy and clever and full of puns. And - you will die laughing at this - the druid was called Getafix and the dog was called dogmatix ! The writers made witty with the language of the time!
I rediscovered Asterix and Obelix a few years ago and spent many happy days poring over their adventures and eating corn chips. Here is a little-known fact for you - when writer Goscinny died, illustrator Uderzo put out a few books on his own. They totally, totally sucked and are nowhere near as sharp. So let that be a lesson to you, arty types. Stick with the fucking Derwents.
Oh my god. Did you not just heart Mad Magazine like a fruity bitch? It's where I read the film parodies before seeing the films, obsessed over American life and soda shoppes and generally fell face first into pop culture. Although I have to say when you read 'The Lighter Side Of...' as an adult, you realise that the jokes are those bullshit ones you pull out of a hat at Christmas. And I still don't fucking get Spy vs. Spy. What's up with those birds? Why can't they just get along?
Cracked - the betamax to MAD's VHS.
The words 'poorer cousin' spring to mind.
It wasn't all just US culture though...
Oh fuck. I actually own this issue of Whizzer and Chips . I was also hot for Beano and spin-offs the Bash Street Kids and Dennis the Menace . Maybe this is where I got my wholesome 'what ho' streak and penchant for dressing up in school uniforms.
At the very least I soaked up that British people were poor, didn't wash and had to pay pence for bags of lollies. They also participiated in mystifying rituals such as 'swotting' and - appallingly - were forced to eat dick. Spotted dick. Honestly. I am not making this up.
This 'd explain the cock jokes, then.
My irritatingly angry but brilliant ex-boyfriend got me into Ivan Brunetti. He is incredibly disturbing and nihilistic and wrong but impossible to look away from. Like Ian Thorpe when he wore that mesh-net mask.
Nearly there now.
I think Cherry Poptart was the first comic I ever masturbated over, but I can't be sure. Asterix and Obelix can be pretty hot and muscular when they're fighting Romans. Will that Ceasar never learn? HAHAHAHA!
I haven't even mentioned Aline Kominsky-Crumb, but maybe she can wait until another time. Looking at that Cherry picture is getting me damp.
1035 days til the next election.
Comments
Looking like, or being a comic book geek, in addition to being a babe, is a plus in my book. I like geeky girls, you ever see the American personality Tina Fey? Mrroww!
Eeee! you have Cherry there. I knew you would. You rock. I have every one up to 23, but #11. And Polyesther have a file on me in case they get 11, to call.
Hang, on, that doesn't make me cool...
Blast!
my bestest friend had a cherry t-shirt when we were troubled hormonal experimental adolescents. she was wearing it the day we made so much with the poppers that she fell off a swing headfirst. good times. thanks for the memories, schmitzy. cherry poptart rules.
Fits when are you going to come out of your shell?
The American Personality Tina Fey brainy babe indeed. I'm surprised she doesn't have her won blog.
How do you have so much time during work to post on your blog so much? How come you refer to "Fat Cunt" on your profile page? What is a fat cunt? What, exactly, do you write for television? Who is "Bob Newman" whatever that you refer to on your profile page? How come I have you bookmarked in my browser in a folder titled "blogs I like"? How come?
what, no batman? those unopened "nightfall" mothers are my retirement fund!
Looks like Hippo's surfaced in an unfamiliar swamp!
Fits, I'm impressed by the symmetry here, I hated 'regular' comics and lived by MAD, Asterix and Tintin in that order.
2 others written by at least one of the writers of Asterix, and both were awesome, were:
Iznogood - about the vizier in ancient Baghdad who wants to be caliph instead of the caliph.
Oompapa - about an odd friendship between a native american and an english soldier.
Hippo is channelling the fat kid from Bad Santa.
Notwithstanding your grossly unreasonable dislike of me, I cannot help but warm to any person who likes Tintin and Asterix. Both staples at our place when growing up.
Drokk that!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll tell you what's cool, citizens.
JUDGE DREDD is cool.
In fact 2000 AD in general is cool.
The Fabulous Furry Freak brothers were cool.
Merkin the cat was cool.
And yes, Cherry is cool.
"Keep on Truckin".
I was in McGills bookstore in the city yesterday which has a great design section. Some books that looked really good were:
The DC Comics Encyclopedia
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/075660592X/103-8039098-
5021427?v=glance
The Golden Age of DC Comics : 365 Days
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0810949695/ref=pd_sim_b_
4/103-8039098-5021427?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance
Contains Captain Nazi!
Thanks - Tim.
I used to love Tintin, and hated Asterix. I read every Tintin repeatedly in the primary school library (thus avoiding the recess and lunchtime violence but creating more during-class-when-the-teacher-wasn't-looking violence).
Then I suddenly discovered that Asterix rocks (Vitalstatistix, heh heh) and immediately hated Tintin.
What an unfaithful tart I was. You know, although being a boy and this being about comic books. Cough.
That's a great collection. I love Asterix. Tintin isn't so cool but he's okay. The best thing about MAD was the fold-together thing at the back. My older brother was addicted to Whizzer & Chips and Buster et al ... nowadays the only comics I read are Asterix (timeless), Ghostworld and American Splendour.
Ghostworld! Rocks. Daniel Clowes. Rocks. Also Chris Wade >> Jimmy Corrigan, Smartest Kid on Earth << on colours alone, is the most divine illustration ever. I believe BookBook is holding some hardback copies for CheapCheap. Asterix and Mad were a huge part of my childhood, as was Viz a bit later on. Still buying Viz every now and then and it still makes me vizli. Comic worship just brings out the geek in everyone eh?
I am not sure if Tintin fans are generally aware of "Tintin au Congo" which, I believe, was never translated into English as a result of perceived racist overtones. The black Africans are depicted wearing what amount to parodies of Western dress. I have a copy in French but my French is rather crap. So I can really only comment on the illustrations.
i work at a library, and yes i am a sexy librarian, and i was looking at the tintin comics (called graphic novels in the grown up world of libraries). so im flipping through the tintin "novel" and i see that tintin has been arrested for smuggling heroin.
do i need to say that again?
TINTIN WAS ARRESTED FOR SMUGGLING HEROIN
what the fuck is with that?
My innocence has been raped.
I wonder where he kept it hidden?
Didn't they do the heroin thing (called opium of course) in The Crab With The Golden Claws? I haven't read it for years. And Captain Haddock - what a crack up. His conversations with Estonian pilot Skut in "Flight 714" are the stuff of legend.
I used to read Whizzer and Chips when I was an impressionable little shit. There was some weird faction system where half the characters who appeared were from "Whizzer" and the other half were from "Chips". It was bizarre. I was a huge Chips man myself.
Happy memories. Is there anywhere you can buy a Tintin box set with everything in it?
Adam 1.0
I have a "Tintin" comic written by London Anarchists where Tintin and Haddock lead a worker revolt, and punch the shit out of people and firebomb cops.
Kinda not the Tintin I knew...
The MAD art of Jack Davis turned me into a man. Asterix fired my interest in history. Cherry and the Freaks shamed me into lusting after pen and ink. Tintin drugged me with his fey Belgian brand of justice. Judge Dredd came along and nihilated the Punisher's sabre-rattling and all was fine. And Judge Death made the Dreddster look like Matt Murdoch. My folks deal in secondhand books and one of my most heartbreaking delights as a kid, having wheedled myself into Comic Pricing, was sitting out the back of the bookstore heazing some poor bastard's guts heave, having to sell his (very rarely a her, maybe they're better with keeping stuff) priceless comic collection of thousands for fifty cents a pop just so he could pay his phone bill. I would always allow a minute's mourning after they left the shop, before dragging the boxes out the back, drooling, frenetically planning how quickly I could get his early Fantastic Fours out of their bags and onto my acid-free backing.
Hi,
I am selling Asterix, Tintin, Lucky Luke, Gaston, Spirou et
Fantasio and all other world wide famous comics in Serbian -
Yugoslavian language, as well as in Croatian and Slovenian.
If you're interested in let me know and I will send you a list.
Contact: tempistazi@sezampro.yu
Regards from Beograd, Serbia & Monte Negro, Europe
Misa
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