Dear Papa.
For the past few days, I have been staying with my father in a rented apartment. I have lived out of home for thirteen years now, and while my dad and I are as close as an only child with a penchant for Trouble and a middle-aged man can be, I wouldn't call us roomie material.
It's weird adjusting to sharing a tiny apartment with one of your parents. Since I arrived:
- He tested out some fathering!
On Saturday night I left the apartment at 7pm in red fishnet stockings and matching lipstick. Dad nodded me a friendly goodbye and, just before I walked out the door, said: 'It doesn't matter what time you get home, by the way.'
I stopped. We looked at each other. We both tried to remember the last time he was able to have any influence on how late I stayed out or what I did. I left. And came home at 5 o'clock in the morning.
- He took me to see a sexy lesbian film!
After a lazy breakfast together, dad thought it would be a good idea to check out a movie. So we went to see this one. And had to sit next to each other for an hour and a half while sexy teenage lesbians romped and licked each other in hard-to-reach crevices. It was mildly uncomfortable to say the least. Particularly when he got an erection.
OF COURSE I JEST.
- He thought the worst of me!
We had been in a second-hand bookstore together. I bought a novel and walked out, meeting him outside. At which point he looked at me, appalled, and shouted: 'DID YOU STEAL THAT BOOK?'.
It's nice to know what a fine upstanding member of society he finds me.
- He shared a bath with me!
I ran an enormous vanilla bubble bath and sat in it reading. Then I got out, dressed myself, and went to the living room. Then dad went into the bathroom and added some more hot water and got in to the bath himself.
I do hope you weren't thinking something more crass. Shame on you.
- He regressed me!
This morning he woke up at the ungodly dad hour of six am and crept around the flat while I slept on the fold-out couch. Then when he left for work he kissed me gently on the cheek and made me feel five years old and wholly loved. Then everything was okay with the world.
814 days til the next election.
Comments
And love to AB.
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Your opening para had me concerned. Should there be a comma or summin in:
"...an only child with a penchant for Trouble and a middle-aged man..."
Is that a penchant for a middle-aged man? I'm glad I realised my error. I can now parse go.
Begs the question, though, if (for the sake of hypothesis) you did have a penchant for a middle aged man, as well as Trouble, would you say you have two penchants? And if so, can you have half a penchant? If not, then a penchant is indivisible, which some ancient greek said was a trait attributable only to the soul.
Which would make our penchants our souls.
Anyway, very sweet post. Sweet as in awwww and also as in, like, sweet, dude.
You deserve all the fatherly love the world has to offer young lady.
The day your father can't kiss his daughter on the cheek is the day the world stops rolling.
That's a really sweet post.
Also, Fits, do you know what's happened to LMS? According to the Green Guide it's not on tonight. Is the one I've taped but not watched yet the last one?
LMS moved to 9:30pm tuesdays.
Are your mum and dad are not together? What age were you when they separated?
Hang on, I taped last monday's. Does that mean I've missed an episode, being last tuesday? Or is it tuesdays starting from this week?
It's on Tuesdays, starting tonight. Enjoy.
What's LMS?
Beloved and I were pissed when we saw no show last night. Chuffed it's still on, one of the only things keeping us sane as a couple right now.
im in love with you
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