Dib dib dib.
A few things that happened over the weekend at my birthday party which was held in an ex-Ukranian scout camp:1. Interesting ex-ravers!
The place we stayed in was run by two ex-ravers called Oakies* and Jungle. Oakies was a curly-haired scamp with a penchant for hackeysack and a girlfriend with a djembe. Jungle was a gargantuan psychotic with dead Indian eyes. He would wander about the place placidly until someone raised his ire by not separating their recycling. Then he would essentially pin them up against a wall by the throat, breathing heavily and speaking in a low, gutteral growl. Everyone avoided him like the fucking plague. Especially when he put on a trance record and started dancing.
Remember! Too much acid burns your soul, kids.
*yes, his name is really a plural.
2. How not to dj!
Don't: Let someone get so drunk they fall repeatedly over the decks in the manner of an MS sufferer with epilepsy, sending needles scratching painfully over records.
Don't: Let people almost come to blows over playing 'Benny and the Jets'. Twice.
Don't: Play 'My Favourite Things' from Sound of Music followed by the 'Jets' song from West Side Story. It will only confuse the dancefloor.
Don't: Insist on 'having a go'. You are far too drunk. Hey, what does this button do?
3. THIS REALLY HAPPENED:
A fucking threeway sex party took place in this:
Note: No kangaroos were involved in sex party activities.
All I remember is that everyone was lying on the floor of the UFO singing 'Under the Bridge' by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, then I stumbled out to warm myself by the fire and when I came back a THREEWAY SEX PARTY was taking place. And two people were fast asleep throughout. Snoring.
WOULD YOU NOT KICK YOURSELF AT SLEEPING THROUGH A THREEWAY UFO SEX PARTY?
855 days til the next election.
Comments
*kicks self*
*kicks sherriff*
BEVIS said...
That is most amusing! The two comments just totally sum it up.
Well done, y'all.
Ms Fits' life ROCKS! She has a new show on TV, The Age wrote a lovely article about her and gave her new show a free plug, her grandfather was honoured in the piece, AND she "paid" for it by getting lots of sex with the entire Age's editorial staff into the bargain!
Is there no down side?
(OK, apart from being bothered by dickheads like Ari the Wonder Fag - and me.)
BEVIS
I am kicking myself for running off to fetch wine, getting back to the door of the UFO of loooove and then deciding it was 6.30am, the party was over, and it was time to run off to bed.
I plan on marrying Jungle, just so you know. I refuse to allow him to live in 'issolation' in the bush.
Hey, congrats on last night, Fits. Was cool. But then again, I'm biased coz Boyfriend worked on it, too. Hee!
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"when I came back a THREEWAY SEX PARTY was taking place. And two people were fast asleep throughout. Snoring."
Uh...two of the people involved in the threeway were fast asleep? You'll nevr make it as writer if you can't be clear what you mean, Fitsy.
I'm assuming you then turned it into a four person sex party?
BEVIS said...
Or she turned it into a rigorous mastabutory session in front of two sleeping non-participants. Or she molested them in their sleep. Or she woke them up and they got all "Age Editorial Staff" on each other.
BEVIS
bevis, would you start another blog already for fucks sake?!?
Congratulations Ms Fits on the great show. I pissed myself laughing. High points were the wedding speeches, Charlotte's Mexican dance and the cheer leader knocking herself out. Love a bit of well timed slapstick.
Bruno, Cammo and Adam are terrific characters, really easy to engage with. I'm looking forward to spending an hour a week with them. I hope there is plenty more of Charlotte and Clare.
Here's hoping the network breaks with tradition and actually puts a bit of support behind an Aussie drama.
Aren't you a clever chicken?
BEVIS said...
But I've got nothing to say!
:)
Thanks for the vote of confidence, la nadine (or was that just you snapping at me for clogging up everyone else's blog comment space?). Either way, it's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in ages.
BEVIS
ok....somebody please tell me about the show....what? where? when?
Im a new fan of Ms Fits, and obviously out of the loop...
spiral
xo
you know okies and jungle are going to google themselves one day. then jungle is going to rampage.
Oh Fluffy, you worry too much. Jungle will be fine as long as everything's....
....
....
*mad eye movements*
....
....
........... Clean.
I think I'm in love with Matt Passmore!!!
Is that bad???
P.s - Nice writin fitz. Top show and that. Can I be on it? Tell Netthiem I love him.
Hope it doesn't move to 11pm 'Dump the Australian content in late slot and still fill quota' timeslot.
LMS roolz!
Full house watching (me plus Mrs thomasr, plus 2 housies) and at critical "will he root her in hotel room?" female housie goes "He won't will he?" Self and other male turn heads and raise one eyebrow. "wanna bet?"
Gold Fits, fucking gold.
The kangaroo in the picture looks as if he was both shocked to witness the UFO Sex Party and a bit hurt that he wasn't included.
I will suggest UFO SEX PARTY as the theme for the next school open house.
hola!...from the heart of barthelona... am too a fan of Ms Fits (smitten from a long time past)sad to miss the show...but i write to say CONGRATULATIONS can´t wait to see it.. misskdl
Congratulations on a timeless profile in the Age ;-)
Last Man Standing?
Amen and Awomen!
I'd only kick myself if I walked back in on it and didn't join in!
Johhny Nemo
How many days until the next threeway sex party?
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