Reasons you will hate me

That's...pretty damn funny.
So some thalidomide woman got to see your nippy noo. Ha.

really?

....i persevere in hope.

Wish I was there...

I once asked a customer who was struggling with an armful of goods, "Do you need a hand?"

She turned around and in this horrible moment I saw she was missing her right arm from the elbow down. Forcing a grimace, I apologised and said, "I bet this happens all the time."

Apparently not. So I went and hid in the office and watched the cameras until she left the store.

What the hell? So we're never going to hear about the tiny poet guy?

Yes Tiny Poet Guy is never short of a word.

I would like to immediately apologise for the above attempts at pun. My actions were reckless and I thank my family for their ongoing support at this time. I ask that the media understand that this is a deeply personal time for myself and my family.

At least your boob still 'pokes out' instead of 'hangs out'....

You made a complete boob of yourself.

But thanks for keeping us abreast of things.

I nearly spit coffee all over my screen.
Sugar could have said a bit more than repeating her A-hem though. I'm imagining fifteen more minutes of Sugar (AND Fluffy) checking out your boob.

God how big are your boobs if you're going braless?

If you search Marieke Hardy in google, then click 'images', look at the very last image.

You give me hope, lady.

I'm always chipper to greet the boob interested to see the world.I imagine boobette speaking of John Laws tongue“Hello World” she might say.

I’ve nearly tripped over one or two boob spills,or it may have been my feet.I am always slow to speak up.I have wondered how it happens and why the owner fails to realise, but I don’t really care for the answer.

It actually reminds me of a song,of which I have never sung of course, only ever heard .I can only remember the chorus

“Get your tits out while your eating, Get your tits out in a meeting ”

Get your tits in the sands, Get your tits out for the fans”

With those highbrow lyrics, how could one not do as the song says

I use to ask a question, then answer it. Now I decide politely

"...If you search Marieke Hardy in google, then click 'images', look at the very last image..."

Jeezus, my eyes.

Where is the NSFW tag?

You get paid to write this shit?

The Aged should be asking for a refund.

No wait...

Isn't it about time ms fits posted her tits again? Or does anyone have a link? Google was fruitless.

yeah what's up w/ Sugar?? My best mate would probably lean over & shove it back in without a second glance.

http://blog.monkeymagic.net/thalidomide.jpg

RC and Simon J I can't find whatever you're looking at? Google Images brings up 20+ pages of images on that search?

Fits is this months Vargas girl. If only there was someway to remove the APR.

Nuh. I even looked with safe search off. Nothing.

How about you luddite retards learn some fucking basic html and show us?

There's not nearly enough nipples in restaurants these days.

And there's probably too many tiny poets. There's too many poets, really. What's the hit/miss ratio of a good poet these days? One in a thousand?

no buttons.. nipples are better on display. I like nipples. marieke rocks

So many questions...

Did your friend think it was some sort of bold fashion statement? Or did she just think you were giving them air?

Didn't you notice the cool breeze?

Some of those puns were hilarious.

Look up in the top right hand corner of this post. Is that a depiction of Ms Fits playing a banjo?

Discuss...

You people commenting here are quite perverted.


+ what an embarrassing story.

Perverted! Here? Which ones?

This, from one of the thinkers of our time...

Perseus, speaking as a tall good poet, I can safely say I am one in oh... let's say 20 million

Well, its a cheaper way to tip the waiter.

You're better off being a tall poet, Squib. Dylan Thomas was the only fucken dwarf that gave us half decent poesy. Even better than being a tall poet would be being a merchant banker. There's more sex and drugs. Poets can't afford drugs, and they only get to shag other poets and let's face it, poets are renowned for their questionable hygeine.

just downloaded the vodcast marieka ,
looks like u had the puppies out while chating with Ronan (nice side boob) heeee boob.
your friend should have given u more of a hint than A'hem.

Thanks for the story Ms fits.
And to all you people who thought Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" was a lie, I say "ha ha, youse were wrong".
PS hope you had one of Janet's nipple thingees on. Otherwise it would have been really embarrassing.

Today is the first of April.

Just sayin'...

No-one has any explanation for Ms Fits playing a banjo?

RC, I'm pretty sure she doesn't get paid to write this. This is her blog.

just downloaded the vodcast marieka , looks like u had the puppies out while chating with Ronan

Stop the clock at 29:02, thats where the real gold is at ;)

By the way, if you watch the JTV vodcast in the interview with Rownan Whats-his-face, there is some serious boobage. Look at him try and keep his eyes off it, it's hysterical.

Zing, anonymous, you and I must be watching it at exactly the same time.

These comments include the terms 'tits', 'breast(s)' and 'nipple(s)'- those terms do not appear in the original narrative (at least not in our heroine's voice). This is not a simple curiosity, it is the most important aspect of the story narrated above. Now I'll tell you why. Our heroine has not selected the term 'boob' indiscriminately. The selection of this term is a deliberate attempt to obviate the significance of the terms 'breast' and even more significantly 'tit'. This is an attempt to relieve and deflect the cathexis or libidinal energy that the term 'tit' expresses. I am not prepared to say that our heroine is therefore alienated from her own woman's body, but this does suggest an attempt to 'normalise' the eroticism associated with the phenomenal flesh of the breast in our society. Maybe our heroine needs to become more alienated to be able to smash the signification of the breast to pieces and become enfleshed once again- perhaps she needs to go beyond the need to justify the existence of her flesh and affirm its excess of the phallic imperative to signify castration. Lets not forget that my point in all this is that while earlier comments elide the terms 'breast' 'tit' and 'boob' our heroine knows only too well that these terms are critically different, in ways that cut right at the experience of the embodied carnality of sexual difference (apologies to Fyodor D.).

weird, I've been reading your blog for months but I didn't know you were Marieke from jtv. er, photos or it didn't happen...?

*Sigh.*
Is there anything she can't do?

"...Is there anything she can't do?..."

You for starters.

Pass me a bucket FFS!!

Ah, predictably the horrendous faux pas of the meme is followed up by a tried and tested 'HAY GUIZ I GOT MY TITS OUT AND NOW YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT ME NAKED BECAUSE I AM SOO HOT AND THEY ARE SOO MUCH BETTER THAN MYF'S DONTCHATHINK? PLEASE SAY YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT ME NAKED. COME ON.'

High brow it is not ;)

Perseus: there's too many poets in this world because some moron decided it was unfair that poetry had to rhyme. Apparently, it was unjustly discriminating against the mentally retarded.

And you see? Now even thalidomide babies are writing poetry. It's enough to make any decent girl want to flaunt her nipples at a dining table ...

Anon 18:47 a merchant banker good poet? Good God! You'd have to add up and stuff

(I'd just like to point out my own hygiene is impeccable - I have ear buds and everything)

so have you removed the picture of your dog tagged breasts?

if so why?

Oh god! The waxy build-up
It driveth me insane
I must do something to release the pressure
That causes me such pain

Ah … sweet relief. Bliss.
But please don’t reveal my sin
For instead of using cotton buds
I’ve used a bobby pin

Thou I maintain it is more sensible
As buds just push wax back in
It is more efficient to scrape it out
With the loop of a bobby pin

Still I know it makes people shudder
And I can’t really claim impeccable hygiene
Cause when I clean the bobby pin
I wipe it on my jeans

Waxing lyrical? lol

That's very good MCL. If you weren't in competition with me for Alan Brough I'd say we should be friends

Squib: I was suggesting you should be a merchant banker instead of being a poet. Cos of the better sex and drugs. Unless you're as good as Mad Cat Lady. "...I wipe it on my jeans." Gold.

once again, miss fits excels at dialogue.

Persey, I don't even like being the banker in Monopoly. Handing out money every time someone passes Go, it's so exhausting, subtracting and so on and then when people get hotels or they mortagage their properties it turns into a major headache

I think YOU should be the merchant banker

Hi. Guess I should've been more specific. Google Image Search, safe search off with 20 images per page, and it's the last image on the FIRST page. It's nothing lewd or lascivious. It's just this http://vh1.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/commodore64.jpg , with 'Marieke Hardy' underneath. I thought it was a little bit funny.

That is the funniest thing I have read in a while. My workmates looked at me weird when I burst out laughing...

You're a class act, as always, Ms Fits.

I wish I'd taken you home to meet my parents when I had the chance ...

This sounds similar to a few dining experiences I have had... I have a knack for being inappropriate *most* of the time...

"Errr....NS, your nipple is taking a dive in your soup...."

i have a feeling i may have been there for this, you were wearing a rather cheeky dress.