Taking_notes
Ms Fits is an irritatingly smug 32 year-old television writer who yearns to be Bob Ellis but will settle for Bob Hart. At least he gets free meals. Pompous nobjockey.

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    What am I, your social calendar? Go outside and play some stick-ball.


Inventive

WED02APR

Duck Season.












'We got into an argument and as I stood up I went like that to throw the wine on Kate...I certainly didn't mean for the glass to, to touch Kate's lip. There were no stitches required.'











'She kissed the gun. I had no idea why. Never knew her. Never even saw her before that night. It's anatomy of a frame-up. I have no idea who she was or what her agenda was. There is no case. She killed herself
.'

33 comments.

Comments

02Apr08:57
My name isn't Earl said...
I don't get it, but then I am living in London and don't get much Australian news.
I know the first bloke is Phil Spectre but who is the other fella and what's the joke?
02Apr09:19
Joseph said...
It's better that way, not-Earl.
02Apr09:31
Anonymous said...
That Wayne Carey.......he's so misunderstood...............
02Apr09:32
Anonymous said...
I'd rather not know who either of them are.....freaks!!!!!!!!!!
02Apr09:48
la nadine said...
Words cannot even begin to describe what a massive cuntknucle he is.

UNSUBSCRIBE!
02Apr10:01
Dataceptionist said...
I particularly liked The Dave Hughes bit on Tv Sunday night, (I hope I can do this joke justice) Carey and his girlfriend loved each other so much they were toasting to their relationsip, but she lost her glass, and said to him, i love you, i love you so much, just use my face. So he did.
I laughed so hard seriously.
02Apr10:01
jayjay said...
Yesterday was April Fool's Day - the pics are mismatched with the quotes. Both are equally believable though! (I'm with la nadine: they are both cuntknuckles.)
02Apr10:11
Greg G said...
...I was about 14 years of age but accepted the challenge and dismounting when Mrs McCormack struck my horse in the flank with a bullock's shin it jumped forward and my fist came in collision with McCormack's nose and caused him to loose his equillibrium and fall postrate...
02Apr10:21
maree said...
Seriously, who throws wine anyway? Just because you appear on TV doesn't mean you have to act all dramatic like you're in a soapie.

People in general need to realise they have a responsibility to each other to not be cuntknuckles. People need to have bashed into their head (probably not with wine glasses though) that if you do something you wouldn't appreciate being done to you, you are responsible for that person's hurt. If you keep getting into situations where you drink too much and hurt others, be adult about it and stop drinking so much. If you can't control yourself to do that, take away the situations you do that and get some help. Own your actions, no matter how you earn a living. Being high profile isn't an excuse, its actually more of an incentive to do the right thing because your influence on others is so much greater.
02Apr10:27
perseusq said...
He'll forever be remembered for his wall of hair.
02Apr10:50
helen hellbound said...
...and the way Carey demonstrated the glass throwing on the show - although denton didn't flinch - he was a tad close. was he trying to be intimidating or does he really have depth perception problems?! cuntknuckle
02Apr11:12
The Last Scientician said...
I don't know what a cuntknuckle is.

It conjures up images of the face hugger from Alien, though. Which may in fact be appropriate. Parasitic fucks.
02Apr12:22
Violet Laduck said...
Why both with understanding when you can be self-righteous. Those with issues of violence won't be able to get help and stop as long as society carries on this way. Hope you're all squeaky clean but your narrative sure isn't so I doubt that any of you are either. It is no wonder men can be so violent; all your words are so full of hate. Here, let me add one to the pile - hypocrites.
02Apr13:00
Nick said...
All about as believeable as 'I reached for a Murray mint I fell and a part of my body entered him....'
02Apr13:22
witless said...
"Well, Your Honour, the car was parked outside a cemetary and so i thought the owner was dead..."
02Apr13:48
Kaleu Big said...
"We were all doing it" ,is my fav

I saw David Hughes comment on Monday as well.I know I don’t have a glass to toast, that’s ok, just use my face honey, I nub you forever.

Clever

Some people live in deluded town.Won’t you take me to, a deluded town?

It's the rule of Celebrity. It does exist.I heard Robin Williams recently say,” When you’re a celebrity, you don’t buy drugs, they give them to you “.I’m sure there are many more examples I could tell you of my life.If only I knew what was real.

02Apr14:32
Scal said...
Violet Laduck, Wayne Carey may have genuine issues for which we can pity him, but it doesn't mean we should be "understanding" about domestic violence. He is a huge, rich man who weilds enormous power over his partners.

And Phil Spector shot his woman. It's not like we're judging him for public drunkeness.

Well, that's my "narrative" anyway.
02Apr14:51
kate said...
Well put together! My ex-husband has a very good way of shifting the blame of his violent actions as well. These men are full of shit.
02Apr15:44
Andyderz said...
My God look at that man's hair.

Spector's is pretty intense too.
02Apr16:33
Violet LaDuck said...
Scal, Yes it does mean we should be understanding. Unless we are all willing to try and understand each other and the issues that drives some of us to extremes, then the cycles of violence , addiction etc. will go on. I'm not just theorising. I've been on the receiving end of very bad domestic violence that saw the end of my marriage at a young age with a baby to raise on my own. I saw first hand that violent men are not just out of control animals who just 'choose' to behave that way - they can feel massive regret and self loathing over their behaviour. But because we all want only to pillory them we make it incredibly difficult for them to seek any help to change their behaviour. Because there are victims involved society seems only to want to punish these men. Believe me, it has affected my whole life and that of my son. But I cannot simply hate back. We have to be willing to understand, and that has never meant condone, and that is my narrative.
02Apr16:47
Anonymous said...
Ms Fits, are you the comely lass in the April calendar? Please can we see a bigger version?
02Apr17:04
gottlieb said...
I agree Violet, as a male who indulged in violence of a mental nature, never physical, the self loathing is the greatest burden, I could relate to some of Carey's actions including the over use of booze,(never drugs).... different generation. Eventually Carey will have to assume responsibility for his dopey behaviour and give up the piss, I had to, 20 years ago, I felt decidely uncomfortable watching Carey go through in public what I did in private.
02Apr18:28
leasypeasylemonsqueezy said...
I couldn't watch.
02Apr19:24
Anonymous said...
I like football. I played it reasonably well once upon a time and am a bit of a football nerd. But I loathe the culture surrounding it which I feel is heightened by the media's shaping of and pandering to some narrow, assumed demographic.

Many years ago I witnessed the sort of adulation Carey once commanded first hand. I somehow ended up at Heat nightclub at the casino and lo and behold there is Carey propping up the bar with a queue of women waiting for an audience with The King whilst he chatted on his mobile and half monstered each woman in turn.

I have been disgusted by Carey's behaviour and agree that he needs to own his shit, grow up and move on, as we all do to some extent. But I feel for him too for he is a plain and simple man albeit of great sporting ability. And when such a man from a sketchy background is lavished with money, drugs, alcohol (family history of alcoholism) and adulation why are we surprised when the predictable happens?

It does disturb me that people seem more inclined to condemn Carey and the like than offer something constructive. Not for Carey but because as someone who once had a great following, you have to assume that those followers will emulate and be guided by their celeb to some extent wine glasses and all.

I don't know the truth but Denton's incredulity suggested to me that Carey was not completely honest about the incidents discussed which is sad.
02Apr20:26
The Last Scientician said...
I have to say, I think the problem is probably with the concept of free will itself.

I have said it before, and I will say it again: no one can prove that people's behaviour is a result of their own conscious decisions

However, our society is based on the idea that everyone is responsible for their actions, and we are pretty much bound to judge them by that criteria alone.

The easiest defence for the theory is that "others" can be produced who have had similar lives who didn't turn out the same. The inherent logical flaw in this argument should be immediately apparent.

However, that said, if someone with as much money and opportunity and power as either of the two gents above make no apparent effort to change, or even accept responsibility for their behaviour, let alone accepting it was inappropriate (or even occurred), what reaction are people left with?

People are judged by the outcome of their actions, not their intentions. Consistently poor outcomes leave only one assessment for most people.
02Apr21:39
AimToo,Please said...
Um, I'm all for rehabilitation and understanding but this fucktard started his public disgrace over 10 years ago. He lost EVERYTHING yet he still is unable to change his behavior. He did not seem remorseful or despairing, merely bemused that he is in his current position. 10 bucks says he will have another cop incident/charge in the next year.
02Apr23:12
Ben said...
I'm good at self-promotion!

And this was what I think anyway:

http://newmatilda.com/2008/03/20/no-idea
03Apr21:37
Soph said...
I'm sure I'm not the first or the last person to've made this observation, but what was up with the pimp shoes?

I've actually seen them in some shops recently, and it's dawning on me that they may be just the thing a fashionable young man might be wearing about town these days...I don't know... no matter, though, I still think they look like pimp shoes. And are stoopid.
04Apr12:48
Anonymous said...
he was peacocking. read the book - the game.
06Apr22:06
Johnny Nemo said...
It seems the only human lower than Wayne, is his girlfriend. She sounds like a right slag! Oh and Wayne is a mega fuckwit cos he's obviously voted with his dick. Hell, she must be a hot root though!
06Apr23:45
Not my computer said...
In the promo Carey said some crap about not wanting to talk about it. That'll be why he twittered on about it on Denton then.

Overpaid wanker.
10Apr00:46
Anonymous said...
Wayne Carey is the greatest centre half forward the game has ever produced.

Despite his obvious shortcomings, he has achieved more in his short life than most readers and keepers of internet blogs will achieve in a lifetime.

I cannot remember someone being so heavily trialled in the press about something as insignificant as an extra-marital affair since Clinton. It is Australia that has a drinking problem, Australia too that has a domestic violence problem. Carey is a mere scapegoat.

The witchhunt for Carey is so obviously Caroline Wilson's creation because she got sick of being made to look like an idiot by him on Footy Classified. Her hatred is so indicative of the bitterness she feels at being born a woman - and never being permitted to play football.

And low and behold: every other "thinking" female in Australia now thinks it's fashionable to generate their own piece of Carey-hate.

Jealosy is so much more lamentable.
10Apr14:54
Serge said...
Denton was as wrong to interview Wayne Carey as those people who used to take others to visit asylums long ago to laugh at the antics of the afflicted.

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