Elton, my Elton.
q. Something I was doing at 7 o clock this morning on my way to the coffee shop:
a. Thinking about who I could convince to join me in spending $284.90 (+ booking fee) to go see Elton John at the Rod Laver Arena in December.
Me: Bennie and the Jets! Come on, it'll be sweet.
Stony-faced friend: No fucking way.
Me: I'm Still Standing!
Stony-faced friend: Elton John? Are you serious? Jesus christ.
Me: I know it's a bit gay...
Stony-faced friend: A bit? The man wrote songs for The Lion King.
Beat.
Me: Rocket Man!
Stony-faced friend: Go away.
2. q. Something I read in the Herald-Sun whilst waiting at the coffee shop:
a. 'Elton John has congratulated Defence Minister Brendan Nelson for his comments on teaching Australian values to Muslim school children.
"One thing in Australia...is people speak their mind" he said on Nine's A Current Affair.
"I'm afraid to say the rest of the world has gone so politically correct you can't have an opinion without being deeply offensive to someone...the Australian minister said...if you don't like it in Australia to the immigrants - bugger off.
"Good on him. Absolutely, I wish someone would say that in our country," Sir Elton said.'
3. q. Something I was doing at 7:15 on my way home from the coffee shop:
a. Thinking about the myriad of ways one can spend a sudden windfall of $284.90 (+ booking fee).
Degustation at Ezard, room at the Hyatt, digital camera. I'll be rocking on Elton's dime right there.
389 days til the next election.
Comments
Thank you for saving me $284.90 (+ b/f). I was tempted. No longer. Maybe we should pool our resources and send one person to the gig with a big "fuck off home to your own country" banner?
Dear Rocket Girl,
Satire is a great excuse for you to do something like this. I listen to John Laws because it is fucking hilarious. Do not tell anyone. Sorry I can not make it, as I am going to a Bette Midler Show and I would probably prefer to see Rod Laver in the Elton John arena anyway. Elton’s limo has a few new stickers on the back; Australia – Love it or Leave it, and I shoot and I vote. This passenger wants off.
He was also sporting a 'Fat Chicks - Shoot Em Don't Root Em' last time I checked, wp.
Yeah, but "Tiny Dancer"!
I'd go see Hitler himself if he'd written a cracker like that. He'd look smashing in the wigs, too.
Speaking of Hitler. How about the Ocean Grove Footy Team getting all Mel Gibson with that Torah fan. They could open for Elton.
Perhaps his right-wingedness is merely a persona? You know, like Andrew Bolt?
On the other hand, maybe he's frightened by the invading hordes.....who shuffle lemming-like past the gates of his immense mansion with their dirtied faces, weird food smells and INCREDIBLE RELUCTANCE TO SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE QUEEN.
I actually SAW that interview with Richard Wilkins...clearly ACA has a producer/editor with more of an eye for the controversial than our dear Dickie.
Sad songs say so much.
You could fly to Sydney and have the Atelier degustation for that.
(may not be an accurate financial assessment).
I WAS GONNA SEE THE GAY MAN SING THE GOLDEN OLDIES TOO!
i'll see you at ezard!
Fits,
I was just about to write a blog about this but followed morning routine & checked your blog first. You've bet me to it.
I was disgusted by his comments! The way he spat out the words was shocking.
A right wing fag? Bahaha!
Yes, people should ALWAYS speak their minds, i'd like to see what people have to say about old, pig faced englishmen who suck dick in their spare time.
I mean, no offence to homosexuals. Live your life the way you see fit but can you seriously suppourt the same frame of mind, the same mentality which would lynch most gays along with immigrants if given the chance?
Fuck you Elton John!
I know it is off topic but please, please do the following.
Go to google. Type in failure. and then hit the I feel lucky key.
It's way more fun than elton and the ocean grove footy team.
Yes, but do you see gay taxi drivers refusing blind people rides because of their guide dogs? It is certain Muslim *behaviour* that is unacceptable in Australia, not their religion per se.
THEY'RE LETTING GAYS DRIVE TAXIS NOW?
(Reg D)wight Australia.
aw, come on guys. are you really that surprised? his music of the last 20 years has been a clear indicator of his drift toward (more obvious and toadying) mass-appeal and mediocrity.
$284.90 will buy a cranking night out. will get back with suggestions, ms. f...
Am I missing something here? What, exactly, did Elton say that was so outrageous? He didn't bag immigrants. He simply endorsed the sentiment that those who don't like their new country (here or England) should bugger off back home. My, my. How shocking. Call out the PC police.
Immigrants are, for the most part, wonderful folk. They enrich their new country, they work hard, they certainly liven up the local cuisine (something the Poms should be very grateful for). But surely those who spew hate against their new country deserve to be told to fuck off? No? Ask yourself what you'd do with a flatmate who acted that way. Exactly.
I just watched the classic albums dvd of Goodbye Yellow Brick road and I too was sorely tempted to part with my hard earned readies and go and see the fat man tinkle the ivories. Is there room at ezard for one more? The idea of you and nadine for company tickles me pink.
oh and have a read of this.
I was made in England out of Cadillac muscle
I had a quit-me father, had a love-me mother
I had Little Richard and that black piano
Oh that sweet Georgia Peach and the boy from Tupelo
Oh, I was made in England
Oh, I was made in England
I was made in England out of Cadillac muscle
Face down on a playground crying God send me a brother
Not a bloody nose for Rock and Roll
Give me that sweet Georgia Peach and the boy from Tupelo
I was made in England like a blue Cortina
But a Yankee summer had a way about her
You had a scent for scandal, well here's my middle finger
I had forty years of pain and nothing to cling to
If you're made in England, you're built to last
You can still say 'homo' and everybody laughs
But the joke's on you, you never read the song
They all think they know but they all got it wrong
Obviously you can't say mossie, can you elton.
I'm sure he agrees that the Notting Hill carnival would be great if it weren't for all those foreigners.
Maybe he's flirting with Downer?
THEY'RE LETTING GAYS DRIVE TAXIS NOW?
Not on my watch Fitzy! Not on my watch...
"Good on him. Absolutely, I wish someone would say that in our country," Sir Elton said.'.....Well, instead of buying solid gold buttplugs perhaps you could use your "vast fortune" to charter some planes or ships to help them go where they'd be happier?....Tosser.
Anonymous (the gutless wonder) said: He simply endorsed the sentiment that those who don't like their new country (here or England) should bugger off back home.
What bizarre planet do you live on? Brendan Nelson is insisting that posters showing Simpson and his Donkey (Simpson being an English born Merchant Navy deserter - an illegal immigrant) be shown in ALL Australian schools, especially (???) those with a "High number of muslim children".
How this equates to telling people if they don't like somewhere to move away, I have no idea. I don't like a lot of what Australia currently stands for. Should I move away? Or should I stay and try to right the wrongs I see around me, from faceless knuckleheads like you, anonymous, who think that "If you don't like it, don't live here" is in some way a useful motto by which to live.
I don't like it, and I do live here, and I ain't going nowhere, punk.
Ms Fits, Bless! Ezard looks brilliant! Shall be checking out!!
(Unrequested) Tips for Ezard:
1) Sneak in to the Adelphi and go for a swim in their pool that overhangs the edge of the building.
2) Don't stay at the Adelphi. They have crossed the line between 'minimalism' and 'not having any stuff in the room.'
3) In the interests of 'research' I've been very slowly trying out fine-dining establishments - Ezard is my favourite so far. Live it up!
PS. Song For Guy. Awesome. I would have paid up. Now the fat bastard's spoilt it.
I'm sure his comments are outrageous, unforgivable, blah blah leftie blah.
But you'll miss Tony Danza!
Last Scientician, you might want to read the initial post. If you can find somewhere where Elton endorses Simpson posters in school, then I'm in error. I'm sure Nelson has many silly ideas like that - and I agree they're silly. But that wasn't the idea Elton was endorsing. And not liking "a lot of what Australia currently stands for" and actively spewing hate against your new country aren't quite the same thing, I'd argue. As I said, I like immigrants. But anyone who wants the law changed to reflect fundamentalist beliefs I could do without. Couldn't you? Or do you endorse female genital mutilation?
tip no.4 for hotel adelphi. i second groverjones re the rooms, BUT they have a rooftop bar which has an awesome view over the back of st paul's. very nice.
and i would have so been there with you fits, to see elton, but yes, he has just spoilt everything now.
Dear Little Ms Fits,
I am new to your blog. While googling up a Bolt reference to workout what the fuck that was all about your identity was revealed to me. I am horrified. Neighbours? You are killing me. I am heart broken. It appears you aren't good but evil. Well I vow to fight you with all of my powers. Right now I have started work on a script for a 24hr endless science documentary that will take over all television. Evil Laughter. Fade to black..... bump 'ouch' turn the fucking light back on! sorry.
STOP STOP MAKE IT STOP WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE HONKY CHATEAU!
let's all give captain fantastic a clap. s/he likes immigrants, isn't that nice? and also a big gold star for being so on the money about drawing connections between shariah and female genital mutation.
it's not in the koran, dickwick. it's a customary practice. doesn't make it right, but it makes your comments misleading.
In other news - I WON two tickets to Elton John in Brisbane.
It was for a joke.
I'm not going to be in Brisbane.
I sold them to my girlfriends mother.
That is all.
Comments are closed.