Emotional chaos.
This is my ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. I'm not kidding. I think they're back together now. The clip may take a little while to download but it's totally worth it if you look at it from my perspective. How do you fucking compete with that?
I am not a jealous person but so far ex-girlfriends of my ex-boyfriends have included:
- Hula hoopists
- Deep-sea divers
- Children's authors
- Go-go dancers
- Lead singers of Frente
- Prostitutes
- Kirsten Dunst lookalikes
- Drew Barrymore lookalikes
- Country and western singers
- Strippers
- Rock goddesses
- Stalkers
- Traditional Javanese singers
- Mothers
- Aliens*.
I know this kind of reflects well on me - the fact that my boyfriends clearly have impeccable taste in hot, creative women - but at times it can be a little overwhelming. At least I know that if they were to make the same list about my ex-paramours, they'd have on paper a veritable orchestra of fine Melbourne musicians. Which must be equally as daunting.
*This is entirely her opinion. She believes she is from another planet and will one day return to be with her people. Given that she is a complete psycho hose-beast who I would shoot on sight, I wholeheartedly support her on this mission.
1005 days until the next election.
p.s. Thanks to everyone who turned up at Ding Dong last night to watch an increasingly erratic dj set. I totally met the pre drug-addiction Corey Haim of Melbourne blogging, Agent Fare Evader . It was a not uninteresting night, beginning with a demanding jazz singer making a fuss over avocado tempura rolls and ending with MattyB getting arrested on Bourke street. Just another Friday, then.
Comments
go kalki! i saw her once at the even smaller tent outside the speeglytent a few years ago - the hoops were touching the ceiling and burning the noses off the front row.
I think that chick performed at my sisters wedding... I can't be sure... but how many short, dark haired, minnie mouse lookin holla hoopers are there in this town? Oh and if you're wondering why a holla hooper would be at a wedding... I had two sisters marry in one year, and the latter wanted to upstage the former. Thus the hoopist, harpist, spanish dancers, opera singer and bald asian oragami woman. Ooh yeah. I know how to party.
In other news I saw Ms Fits credited as a reason to watch television in the new year in some sydeney magazine recently. How bout that?
Ben.
"ending with MattyB getting arrested on Bourke street"
Say what? I thought I was living dangerously when I unthinkingly wandered into the Ding Dong's "Staff Only" area to use the toilet and got hounded out. Fudd gone wild.
I actually left about ten minutes after you guys but went in the opposite direction and missed the show. Bummer.
I just remembered that I have this
(03)9292 2000
Andrew Bolt's phone number, can't remember if i told you already or someone tried it and it didn't work but somehow its been long forgotten until now.
If you'd wish not to embroil youself in further controversy I wouldn't mind if you deleted this comment. It goes through to his PA first apparently. Email me if anyone plans on using this + if it works.
Yeah, you're such a chronic *underachiever* you've really got heaps to feel bad about. N.O.T.
Hey, it's a well known fact that ex-partner's new partners totally suck. Don't ask me why, just is. (Incidentally, isn't it totally funny and satisfying in a really mean way when ex-partners and their new handbags get shouty at each other and break up? Well I think it is...)
Wot Ho, i'm in london & a friend just showed me this - it's me in NYC last xmas & i'd lost it (the vid)! Carlos Granda who spontaneously filmed it at an ARS NOVA show somehow had it liked up to my website but then he, and his website disappeared into the ether i guess as hightech Argentinian gypsies do. Being the technoretardo that i am, i certainly didn't have any other copy...It's taken me half an hour just to work out how to leave a comment.
So is the ex-boyfriend Joel? I've only had about 3. And are you the lassie who ended up marrying one of them? Haha, small world innit?!? I disagree entirely with wassisname above about ex-partners partners blahblah drivel snivel, get a life.
Thankyou everso for finding this document, i'd written it off as lost. If you happen to know the whereabouts of Carlos, do tell.
Tootle pip, Kalki xx
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