Exposed.
Recently I was lucky enough to buy a copy of SHANE CRAWFORD - EXPOSED (RBP $34.95 OUR PRICE $4.99). Look, here it is here:
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DO YOU SEE WHAT HE'S DOING THERE THE CHEEKY MINX ROFLMAO11 etc.
Aside from being pretty much the best book I have ever read, SHANE CRAWFORD - EXPOSED is also witty, thought-provoking, challenging and deep as fuck. Additionally it has some of the most IN YOUR FACE layout I have seen in an age. Photographs of Shane, both 'in a sporting moment' and 'at play', are overlaid with wildly erratic fonts and personal quotes from the man himself such as:
'I'M NOT in love with my body,
I'M IN LOVE with
feeling fit.
I can't believe that will ever leave me...
One thing's
of those footballers who lets it all
*nods sagely*
You might also enjoy this one:
THIS IS ECSTASY
Look at my
total joy
I
don't remember the exact
but it must have had these ingredients:
we're winning
I've DONE my bit
I'm in heavEN
And the crowd
That's
footy
AT it
s best
I'll spare you the chapters on taking baths, sleepwalking, winning the Brownlow and his love of fashion. Needless to say it's an absorbing read which we will no doubt revisit on a slow RYWHM news day.
If I may for the moment, however, leave you with this:
A QUESTION
WITHOUT
notice
WHY DO PEOPLE THINK I'M GAY?
why would they?
make me seem gay? Do I?
I
If I do, what are they?
I have friends who are gay
I have
good
fun
with
them
I've been to gay bars.....
I've had a great time there
I've had some very interesting experiences with gay people
I dance
I have facials
I put tips in my hair
I'm on tv
I've done nude shoots
I MUST BE GAY
Step aside Kerouac, there's a new beat poet in town.
*rinses eyes with bleach*
394 days til the next election.
Comments
resisting
...
temptation
...
can't hold ... it ... back
...
facials
...
he said facials
...
HE SAID FACIALS
...
He's not gay YET HE GETS FACIALS
...
ROFLKONG!!!11!
facials
Oh the shame. I can't believe he was captain of my beloved team.
These sorts of shenanigans would never have happened in Michael Tuck's day.
Can we please trade him to, I don't know, say, Brisbane?? With those blonde tips surely he'd fit in up there.
[fires off an email to Alistair Clarkson]
[awaits confirmation of requested trade]
Please don't tease Shane!
Okay, so he's a bit different in a normal kind of way (a bit like Kirky).
At least he's not Wayne Carey.
SHANE CRAWFORD IS NOT LIKE BRETT KIRK.
pass the bleach, fits.
just loving that centre justification thing, though. SO ARTISTIC. SO EXPRESSIVE. SO POETIC.
where can we grab a copy?
the uni library does not stock it unfortunately...
You can borrow mine if you want. I think perhaps at this stage it's best if we don't encourage Shane by pouring further royalties into his bank account.
Is geoffslattery.com.au paying you anything for this post?
My business dealings are mine and mine alone, lisa.
p.s. Yes. Yes they are.
"I'm in love with feeling fits"!
Well, me too!
But I'm trying to be subtle. I appreciate his caution to the wind approach.
Can't wait to hear what Jennifer Byrne has to say about it on First Tuesday.
What is it with guys who tip their hair?
Are you listening Andrew G?
Damn it Meva! I was just going to say that about First Tuesday Book Club!
:)
So how do we nominate the books that you then have to read and review on the show, Ms Fits?
Oohhh... yes indeedy - how, our Dearest Lady Fits, oh beauteous one, HOW might we influence the choice of books reviewed?! The idea of getting Jennifer Byrne to sally forth on "Mein Kampf" (all the while choking back her disgust) or Arnold Shwarten*cough cough*ger's "Encyclopedia of Body Building"... Or Jenna Jameson's "How to make Love Like a Porn Star"... frankly, who cares about the book - I'd pay my 8c a day just to see the collective panel squirm with discomfort just trying to translate these works for a typical ABC audience...
*much evil laughter*
Fitsy
Shane'o goes to the same physio as me, and on the odd occassion we have laid side by side, covered in oil while our muscles have been lovingly pounded back into shape.
he's a really nice guy (hate's Jeff Kennett for a start).
But so are lots of guys.
It's not like he's a special guy or anything.
He's just another guy.
I'm not gay
SURE you're not, timboy.
No, I don't think people understand.
There's a bizarre statistical anomaly which is present only among players in the football code of the AFL.
It is this:
There are NO GAY FOOTBALLERS
Never have been. None currently. None waiting for selection. None on the bench. None in reserves. None.
Apparently, running around most of the time with other men in pretty coloured jumpers and tight shorts playing catchy/chasy with a delightful ruby coloured ball (shaped not unlike a single angry testicle), singing with your arms around them, and showering as a group, instantly cures blokes of gay.
Despite the fact that, even if the rate of homosexuality in the general population was as low as one percent, there should be a dozen or so at least, there are simply no gay footy players.
Amazing.
Maybe they're really all lesbos.
I've
just read
the
gayest thing
... on earth.
Despair....
*fringe wipe*
'single angry testicle' would be an excellent name for a band...
You think the book's the epitome of kitch, dearest of Fitses - YOU SHOULD SEE THE DVD! Which I am in, by the way. Ahem. Interviewing said not gay footballer on a gay and lesbian radio station. Forfucks etc.
That said, Shane was actually quite nice. And short. Very short in fact.
And thanks for the insights, Last Scientician. AT LAST I KNOW WHY I'M A POOF - I didn't play footy in high school. Curses.
Excuse me now while I go sniff some linament; I seem to be getting rather over-excited.
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Ms.Fists ... I mean fits ... that's disturbing !
Not necessarily because it's poetry from a footballer, but because it resembles the kind of poetry I used to post online around BBS's when I was a teenager in the in 90's. Sans facials.
Scary !
Meva! You are EVERYWHERE!
Yeah, being the Bill Bryson reader I am, I saw the programme and agreed with the comments. He's lost his edge. His best book was "the lost continent", a savage account of America in the late 80's. If he publsihed it today, he'd probabaly be named as a terrorist and hunted down like a dog.
And Crawford should stick to football/defacing Sam Newman portraits.
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