Famous People I Have Met.
Part one: Famous People I Have Seen Out and About and Where I Have Seen Them.
1. Noel Gallagher, Bangkok Airport
2. Billy Zane, outside Zabars in NY. Yes, I have travelled and am very worldly.
3. Janet from Spiderbait and Quan from Regurgitator, holding hands on the corner of Rathdowne and Queensberry streets in Carlton. A long time ago, when they were still an item, obviously.
4. Robert 'don't call me Millsy' Mills, Festival Hall in 'VIP' area for Justin Timberlake concert, taking copious mental notes and nodding seriously.
Part two: Famous People I Have Seen and some Stupid Things I Have Said To Them.
1. Eric Bana , Chopper premiere. Me (possibly drunkest I've ever been, poison dwarf boyfriend vomiting in rubbish bin nearby): 'Heyyou...Imwunna yore wriders! I wride what you say onn somethinin the air ! IMWUNNA YORE WRIDERS!' Him (polite): 'Oh, lovely.'
2. Patti Smith. Her: 'Hi, how's it going?' Me: (frozen with fear) 'Food'.
3. Adorable as fuck travel writer Bill Bryson . Me (chirpy): 'I write for Neighbours!' Him: "That's nice."
4. Porn Maverick Ron Jeremy . Me: 'Why yes, of course you can pinch my nipple.'*
5. Radiohead's Thom Yorke. Me (chasing him down Fitzroy street St.Kilda): 'Wait, wait!' Him (turning reluctantly, scowling): 'What?' Me: 'Um. Nice gig last night.' Him: 'Yeah.' Me: Blank. Him: Shuffling off, still scowling.
6. Mike D from the Beastie Boys. Me: 'Your fly's undone.'
7. Daryl Hannah. Me: 'Hope your birthday's a real 'SPLASH!'' (it was on a card I made for her, complete with picture of mermaid. I was eight years old and unbelievably gay.)
8. Fabrizio Moretti from the Strokes. Me (leaping off tram, perspiring freely, tearing headphones away from ears, shoving past fellow commuters): 'Hey! Hey! I REALLY LIKED YOUR GIG ON SUNDAY!' Him (turning to, bless his heart, clasp my hands warmly in his as though no-one had ever said this to him before): 'OH MY GOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH!' Me (dizzy with lust, turning to barrel clumsily through remaining four Strokes): 'Gargh.'
9. MCA from the Beastie Boys. Me (on learning that he was reading some Tibetan book about compassion or something): 'But what do you read for fun ?' Him: 'This.'
*This is absolutely true, I promise. I'll post the polaroid.
Comments
Ms Fits, Darling,
You are wonderful. Thanks for these little tidbits.
Much love,
Megadork
Post the Polaroid!
I agree with that suggestion.
Do what that very funny gentleman above me and who I don't know just suggested. You "promised."
I wholeheartedly agree that a promise is binding and should be honored. No, I don't know who kranki is. I just happened to post on minute after he did at 4:11 am in the morinig.
It's spelled M O R N I N G, you idiot.
Great post - I partiularly liked your classy offering for Eric Bana. I think that's on par with me telling Mother Teresa that she had ugly feet when i met her when I was four.
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