Five people who don't realise that nobody likes them.
Part one.
1.
'I've been a pimp so long I knew Ghandi when he had an afro'.
No you haven't. You are a very silly man who grabs at his penis and makes hootchie redneck anthems for homophobes in between marrying bikini models on drugs.
You are also - need I point out - sitting in a rubbish bin like a fucking nob.
2.
Somewhere, somehow, this pint-sized poplette got it into his head that he was a magical soul-crooner whose gift of music he was beholden to share with the world. The sooner someone loftily informs him that he is a screamingly untalented gimp who crucifies songs in shopping malls while people bulk-purchase boxes of Mrs. Fields cookies the better.
3.
Elizabeth Hurley seems to be under the impression that we're all so ultra-envious of her fab life and brown richo boyfriend that we have been stunned into gasping submission. When the fact of the matter is we're all watching with interest to see when she stops obsessing over fat people for long enough to unhoik her ever-present camel toe.
4.
Inner monologue: 'We've got a real shot at this! Just a few more months of tireless smiley campaigning and the sweet, sweet leadership will fall into our hands!'
World: 'The fact that we would vote in a syphilis-riddled penis with a face painted on it over you speaks volumes. Go away.'
5.
Okay, so it's not like nobody likes Tom Gleisner. But that 'affable judge' thing he's got going on in Thank God You're Here isn't fooling anyone. Who gives two-thirds of a rat's ass which part-time thesp 'wins' or 'loses'? I expect better from the man who brought us Shitscared, you know.
331 days til the next election.
Comments
Do these just come to you every morning or do you spend the prior evening plotting them out with some army of fellow genii?
Either way, More Please.
I quite like Tom. No, wait, I did like him. You're right. They all suck and why do they persist in their delusion?
THEY MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS.
Except Tom Gleisner. He just needs a slap on the wrist and a light fine.
Best thing about owning a HDD recorder is that you can watch Thank God in timeshift and simply skip through any part that includes Shane Bourne and/or Tommy G waffling on about nothing in particular. Saves me about half an hour of my life and considerably reduces my stress levels.
I forgot about Shane Bourne! He's next on my list.
Stop being so nice. Gleisner's being shitting me for years. Him and all his cunteye Working Dog mates.
been shitting me, I mean
I have been just waiting for someone to say this.
Blasphemy or not, and I grew up on the Late Show / D-Gen too, but the fact is, Tom Gleisner has NEVER been funny.
Go back and watch the Best Bits and watch that stupid thing he does with the faulty fan.
Dumb.
News snippets?
Dumb.
The only funny thing he ever said was, "He's also an over-actor," and even that was only funny because he was playing straight man to Rob Sitch.
But then, what would I know? According to my readership, I'm a nobody who likes to drink wine, listen to jazz and blog about people with more power and money than me.
Which sounds like a shitload of fun, no?
(I agree with a mild scolding and a slap on the wrist though. He gets leniency by association.
may i add:
- darren hayes
- lara bingle
- the cast of tripping over (excepting abe forsythe who is both hot and talented).
with you about gleisner too. what's with the ridiculous puns at the end of every nutrasweet judgement?
poor form, gleisner, poor form.
i'm seconding you on the Bingle nomination nads.
Awful.
She's this decade's Annalise Braekn....(can't be bothered googling for the correct spelling)
Last night i accidently paid attention to the Ch 10 news as Sandra Sully was reporting the very important news that Bingle was implicated in the marriage breakup of an AFL footballer - accompanied by a strangely clear "voicemail message" from Bingle to said footballer.
Geez.... who on earth could possibly have 'leaked' such a titbit???
A desperate fame-ho perhaps?
Like the way Annalise, when she hadn't had her mug in the paper for a few months and was having withdrawals, used to plonk herself on Bondi beach sans bikini top and get someone to ring the newspapers to tip them off.
Uurrghhh....
Peter Hellier, if by chance you are enlightened enough to read this, FUCK OFF AND DIE!!! You are one of the most inane, soulless channel ten whores.
What sort of love child could Gleisner and Hellier conjure up? A scary thought......
Also Pauline Hanson. I blame Dancing With The Stars.
TV rating brilliance whatever, I fucking hate that show for bringing her back, as though anyone actually wanted her to. Even the most redneck fucks didn't want her back, but no one had a choice because of that show.
You know how Australians just love telling everyone when they come back from holidays about how adored they are overseas? (Except possibly in London). I wish the rest of the world could see what a bunch of bitter little fuckers we are when talking about people who dare put themselves in the public spotlight.
Yes, all awful. Well, I bet there are people who like Gleisner in person, but I bet there aren't many who still think he is funny.
I've always hated Hurley. You could substitute her waxwork dummy, and it would act better. Worst example was whichever Hollywood fool thought a Bedazzled remake would be funnier if you substituted her for Peter Cool. Ye gods.
All of La Nadines are spot on, too. (though she is right, Abe Forsythe is talented, and also a lovely guy who once took a chance on being in my housemates unsuccesful comedy series pilot when he had AFIs and probably much better offers)
two words:
darryl.
somers.
Surely Darryl knows everyone dislikes him, does he not?
you wouldn't think so from the smug-as-fuck-i-eat-babies smile attached to his face.
Hurley looks so fierce in that photo I mistook her for Sheryl Crow. Then I noticed she was wearing Victoria Beckham's spangly boot cut jeans as sleeves and I realised we have E Hurl.
What is there to say...
Mister Costello. Captain Smarmy Pants! How can anyone be deranged as to think that his arrogant, smart-arse, mightier-than-thou performances in the house and in front of the journos could endear them to a nation who just love to cut down the proverbial poppy.
sigh...
Not gonna start listing people, there are too many and it will end up with me foaming at the mouth.
Oooh, Oooh.
Can we add Pauly Shore? Or does he also know that everyone hates him?
Probably does actually, especially after this particular gig:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtrBZJ9pYC0&eurl=
I guess maybe not everyone hates him, as I do feel kind of sorry for the guy.
My GOD, Charlotte. THAT VIDEO IS AMAZING.
Ok well having seen Pauly Shore being deservedly punched in the head can we start a list of shit comedians you'd like to see given similar treatment?
Ok punching is probably not called for...how's about we have a list of comedians you'd like to see given a wedgie on stage.
...oh...and to start said list off
Wil Anderson
I second the Wil Anderson thing, and move to add Akmal. He needs more material than having the same colour skin and intentionally similar name as Kamahl.
But wait, more pressing issues.... you can get Mrs Fields' in bulk?
If there is a Christmas wishlist god, Tyson.
Andie MacDowell.
The DLP.
Okay Mf you twisted fucker you could personally bring down Channel Ten and cause mass unemployment for so many!
Beware you to are a tall poppy! But thank you for creating this place! and yes they all suck but
E Hurley? Well be prepared to be offended! I like her camel toe and frankly I would love to fuck her to death.
Sorry for my bad taste but really I haven't had sex for 3 years,how could I possibly say no.
I always hated D Sommers and hey hey it was crap and it's not classic Aussie TV.
Pauline Hanson should be decapitated on live TV ,yes folks a real reality program that has family values.
Now for my pet hate! those to smug wankers with no talent on who host Australian Idol! Arseholes and no they are not cute or good looking and how they made it on the set is a fucking mystery to me!Who are they and where did they suddenly spring from!Who ever gave them the job should join Hanson in decapitation ASAP. I would rather they die before Howard now thats serious hate folks.
Will I go to Hell if I nominate Tara Moss?
p.s 2 nights ago I dreamt that Little Johnny Poos-His-Pants was my next door neighbour and he was trying to get inside my house and MURDER ME.
Hold me..
I really like the fact that I've taken 2 dolased tablets and i'm now at the point where i'm soo drowzy I don't hate anyone. OK usually I hate Lindsay Lohan and Christian Slater usually annoys me (Yes even through his pre-wife-bashing-early 90's-slicked-back-hair-phaze) but right now I love everyone.
Another to add to the list: Seen that chick with the cat's bum mouth and the red tights who appears on the Tuesday book club twaddle hosted by the gushing Jennifer Byrne?
I'm presuming that in the fashion of Darryl Somers she knows everyone dislikes her, Anon.
You're working on that yourself too aren't you young lady? "The Dallas Crane Uglies" is one name I have heard bandied about.
That Pauly Shore vid was a publicity stunt to try and dredge up a modicum of interest in his utterly still-born career. He'd be better off releasing a posthumous celebrity sex-vid with one-time GF Savannah.
Why is it so hard for me to get five people to realise that they don't really like Macromantics that much?
And what is a Kerry-Anne? Why does it have it's own show?
what are you on about... macromantics is the shit yo...
apple crumble
ten foot poles
dealers coppin feelers
iraq war
there you go, just some rhymes macro styles.
you know she is considered to be a social/political commentator.
get with it asshole
I can't even begin to understand why Macromantics has gotten as far as she has. Ditto Ground Components. This music isn't 'new', it's just shit.
social fucking commentator!?
I was at meredith
I heard her 'social commentary'
sheesh!
We didn't see her at Meredith, yet heard her unfortunately. She opened with an acapella and was still out of time somehow.
macro just fills this void for aussie hip hop artist that we somehow need!!! doesn't matter if she makes up words
FEMALE aussie hip hop artist niche that is
sorry
Lara bingle, gag. I hope she gets an infection from a nasty, tight camel toe and dissapears forever!
I also hate Lindsay Lohan. There is nothing at all good about that girl. Grr.
Daryl Sommers is a dag, but we all grew up with him, so I'm not going to knock him too much. Maybe just a bit of a turkey slap or something :)
I want to heart macromantics, I really do but live she is just annoying. I'm starting to dread seeing posters with her name on it.
I like her stuff when its on the radio though....
David Koch is a tool. And David Reyne while you're at it.
A big yes on Lara Bingle. I keep wondering why anyone cares?! So she said 'where the bloody hell are ya?' in an ad and annoyed the Brits. SHE DIDN'T WRITE THE LINE.
And Tom seems like a sweetie, but his whole role on that show is basically redundant, except to give a prize to the occasional drop-in who embarassed themselves to make them feel better. It's like a kid's party, where everyone has to win a prize AT LEAST ONCE. Especially if they're about to cry. It's a laudable thought on the usually vicious world of contemporary TV. But it's not entertaining.
The 3 talentless schmucks from Glasshouse! If there were ever 3 people I want to run over in a car it's them.
Will fucking Anderson - what's with the fucking nail polish? You are not a goth boy, 90's grunger!
Dave the idiot - ditch the fucking act, it's old mate!
Corinne fucking Grant. If ever there was a girl with NO sexuality, it's her!
As long as the fuckers don't get onto the commercial stations again, we're right.
Ok.. here are mine
Lara Bingle - stupid marriage wrecking whore.
Kate Fischer - Attention seeker. Can't stand the way she wears low cut tops with no bra - saggy saggy
Nicole Kidman - Words can not describe the hatred I have for the woman.
Comments are closed.