Flying the flag.
This morning I was once again in the delicate position of receiving a thorough hair-removalling at the hands of a bronzed young lady in Westgarth. We were engaging in very pleasant conversation (as pleasant as once can have in such awkward circumstances), and she was telling me all about her upcoming trip to Sydney which she was relatively excited about since she'd 'never been anywhere but Canberra before'. Eventually she saw the tattoo on the top of my foot (my best friend's initials) and squealed with recognition.
Wax lady: OMG, I have a tattoo on the top of my foot too! It kills, doesn't it?
Me: Yeah, I guess.
Wax lady: I fainted partway through mine.
Me: What's your tattoo of?
Wax lady: An Australian flag.
Beat.
Wax lady: It's not coloured in or anything.
Me: Why did you get the Australian flag tattooed on your foot?
Wax lady: Because I love Australia.
Beat.
Wax lady: I was going to get it tattooed on my shoulder, but I figure if I want to remove it later on it's easier on my foot.
Me: Right.
Beat.
Me: Do you have any other tattoos?
Wax lady: I've got this symbol on my neck.
Me: What does that mean?
Wax lady: Karma.
Me: And you got that because....?
Wax lady: Because what goes around comes around.
Long, uncomfortable pause.
Wax lady: Can you please turn on your side so I can do your legs?
*******************
When did displaying the Australian flag - tattoos and capes and bumper stickers and the like - become less a sign of affectionate patriotism and more about steely-eyed 'if you don't love it, leave' nationalism? Was it Cronulla? Why does the mere mention of getting a tattoo of the flag because you 'love Australia' automatically make me feel ill? Is it because I think there's a lot less to be proud of given the Howard government's moral record over the last eleven years?
I don't know; these are complicated issues to consider when all you want is a tidy-looking vagina. Also: don't mess with the femme brandishing the hot wax if you know what's good for you.
Comments
I reckon it was Cronulla that changed it. As a Sydney resident I can confirm that the Aussie flag only started being used this way after the riots.
It's a shame really since it's a beautiful flag and there's no reason anyone should be embarrassed to show patriotism in that way.
But hey – as I drunken screamed on election night to anyone who'd listen: "Let's go get Aussie flag tattoos! Once again, it means you love Australia not that you bash brown people!"
Ah, but did you actually get one, Dr. Nic? That's the real sign of commitment.
I say change it - and leave the flag tattoo generation with nostalgic keep-sakes.
>WINNAH<
>LOSER<
Me (warily): Oh, you know, a couple of election parties.
My hairdresser: What's an election party?
[PAUSE]
My hairdresser: I had to vote in the city yesterday. It was full of Asians. Awful.
Me (contemplating scissors): Er.
Charitably, I tried to convince myself that she meant that voting in the city was awful, rather than that the Asians were. But... vox pop... I'm wrong, right? There's an Australian flag tattoo hidden somewhere on her person?
* I am thrilled to be still asked this question
If only the indigenous tribes had been a bit more discerning about who they let into their country.
But then again I ain't the world's biggest patriot.
I also ain't the world's greatest fan of bikini waxes. Or waxers.
Maybe these go hand in hand, or hand in some other anatomical part.
That was uncomfortable.
Although, having your nether-regions defoliated by a nationalist with hot wax would be more so...
I was in an enrolment line at RMIT earlier this year, and a young tanktopped lad had a sizeable Aus flag tatt visible across arm and shoulder. All the cool kids and little fashionists steered well clear of him. I felt sad for him, sad for Australia. I can't say what his motivation for the tatt was but I do think it wrong to assume it a racism agenda. Anyway, fuck Sydney and their riots. This is bigger than a few Cronulla dickheads. Australia is Australia. Reclaim the flag. For the first time in a long time, I want to say it. That is, to say that I am, right now, proud to be Australian. Our Kev is in Bali signing Kyotos left, right and centre, and we invented the lawnmower, and it is summer now, and there's Big Ms, and the Easybeats were easily one of the world's greatest rock bands, and we have the most excellent word 'shithouse', and yeah, wow, that felt REALLY good. Thanks.
I love my country and I love my flag and the thought of a swag of illiterate goat herds walking into my country simply because the UN tells us we have to have them as a job lot is counter productive to an efficient society. Dont believe me, then look at the problems we are seeing in Flemington with African youths. Oops thats racist.. I mean youth from a section of the world that still lives in the stone age and thinks it's a great idea to circumcise young girls and force women into marriage with men 20 years older than them....
Anyway those veiws should provoke a storm of protest. Young idealogues always lack the ability to see anything objectively.
Illness for yourself is not required, you can’t nail jelly to the wall, you can gift them education, best to try this as the lumberjack rather than the forest
Here's a newsflash: when the Irish lived in slums, in Collingwood and Fitzroy, they were violent. When the Greeks and Italians lived in slums after WWII, they were violent. When the Cambodians and Vietnamese lived in slums after the fall of Saigon and the killing fields, they were violent. Now the Sudanese and Rwandans are living in slums while Africa continues to slide into war, and lo and behold... they are violent.
What do they have in common, their origin, or their treatment here?
The only cultural similarities they share is their treatment by those who live here.
Fits, I personally believe there are some people who have earned the right to have the flag tattooed on their body. But no one should be tattooing their national flag just by virtue of where they happened to be born.
She said she got the tattoo because she loved Australia, not because she was a moron from Cronulla.
It's about time the flag was claimed back from those idiots. But you shouldn't put everyone in the same boat if they love the flag of their chosen country.
Kev swore his oath under it. Does that make him a racist? Geezus Fits. Maybe you should put it on your underwear.
FLY OUR FLAG.
Patriotism
Flag waving
Australian (as opposed to "un-Australian")
all smell a bit like turds to me.
And it IS because of what John Howard did, and the vein of intolerant, ignorant, fear-mongering xenophobia he represents.
And I think that's sad.
I think your thinking is sad.
Last Scientition....You miss a simple point when you whole heartedly compare the various streams of immigration. The illiterate goat herds are just that..Illiterate. The Irish immigrants had a hatred of the English (like most Aussies did) but on the whole were able to slot into society because they had a degree of commonality with the culture and language...Greek and Italian migration...Not sure how old you are but in the fifties and sixties I don't recall 100 or so European immigrants gathering to throw rocks at police. Despite their experiences from WW2 they came, they slotted and they worked because they had come from an industrialized society that knew the rule of law. Jump forwards to now....wholesale UN immigration from Romania led to Dandenong becoming the drug dealing capital of Melbourne, while wholesale immigration from the horn of Africa is leading to the problems we are seeing throughout Melbourne. Do we ask these people if they believe in womens rights? What about the rule of law? No we don't...We are forced to say come on in...You are a convicted rapist in your country..No worries...You intend to sell your 14 year old daughter...Fine fine...What, you want a free house and welfare payments??? Sure.
I'm not against refugees..I just like the idea of being able to chose who gets the privelage of sharing this wonderful land...People who share the ideals of equality for women! People who want to contribute, not arrive, take and then crap in our faces. In closing let me give you an example...I have a close friend who is a PHD in Chemistry, and who has worked in the field of environmental science....Scottish chap. His wife is a clinical microbiologist. It took them 2 years to emigrate to Australia. Its not as if we are flush with people of science! 2 years! They were fully self funded, didn't ask nor need a cent of welfare and are both an asset to this country 3 years on. Yet I wonder how many illiterate goat herds were admitted while they and people like them were waiting....
Beat.
Christ on a fucking bike.
And yet, if we didn't have them, who would organise our goats?
I was also wondering if you saw the mob of WHITE Australians attacking police at the G-20? They were as moronic as a gathering of Angry Africans but they were white. Color has nothing to do with stupidity!
African immigration is an experiment we now have to make work. They are here. All this pontificating about whether they should be here or not is now largely irrelevant.
Oh and Ms Fits. Keep up the good work!
And as for a hundred (more properly 'a Hundred', an otherwise unknown measure of persons used by the Herald Sun to refer to a group of 10 people) Sudanese kids chucking rocks at police; think back JFG, think back. Lambing Flats, Shearers' Strikes, Eureka Stockade, anti-conscription riots....this sort of thing has happened before and it has sometimes been ethnically based. Nonetheless we've managed to progress, despite the best efforts of reactionary alarmists like yourself.
And its really pathetic that you rubbish refugees from Africa with out producing one piece of evidence that they are over represented in the crime statistics. Why is that? Is it because there is no evidence? Because if there was any, ex-Minister Andrews certainly would have produced it.
Not only is there no evidence that recent arrivals from Africa commit more crime than other recent arrivals throughout Australian history or that they commit more crime than other Australians who share their economic circumstances (probably the two best groups to compare them to), there is no evidence that refugees from Africa commit more crime than the rest of the population.
And if you are going to going to ridicule surviours of torture as 'illiterate goatherds [sic]', the least you could do is ensure your English is up to task.
I know many refugees from Sudan who could proof read your comments for you if you like. They have a better grasp of English than you seem to. And they have more courage and dignity in their little finger than you have in your entire body.
Seriously, they could even proof read my comments. Except for the ones that jumped on the tram I was on and kicked the windscreen in.
Funnily enough, kids from Malvern did the same with beer bottles during schoolies.
This thread bites now.
I'm flying the flag at half mast.
And as far as JFG goes, remember kiddies...
Do. Not. Feed. The. Troll.
Certainly not in Australia.
Holy fuck Anon – we may have a new Aussie manifesto! And Fitzy, I didn't do the drunken election night tatt, mainly because the kind of parlours that will give you a drunken election night tatt are the kind of places my mother always told me not to go to.
I'm not a great speller myself and everyone is guilty of a typo once in a while. My point was that if you’re going to have a go at people for being illiterate the least you can do is ensure your spelling/grammar is of a high standard.
he doesn't even realise the cronulla connotations. naive little cashed up bogan.
and fuck it. open up the floodgates for immigration. let people go where they want. the KKK and steve price can find somewhere in missouri to hang out.
Diabolically clever I thought. Celebrating our great country, avoiding association with nationalism pretty well, and making two jokes - one the irrelevance of Tasmania, the other a sly nod to her minge.
I think it's just really really weird that people want to be ridding themselves of the very thing that distinguishes an eight year old girl from a 30 year old woman.
keep the hair ladies..please!
and most of us can spell quite well thankyouverymuch
I am 35 years old and very much lookin forward to getting my new tattoo next week.
Call me in 30 years.
It's especially adorable how a possibly elderly right-winger has decided to get 'hip' with 'the times' by leaving comments on these here new-fangled weblogs. Lordy how it gives me comfort that those people and their bigotry are slowly but surely dying out:
"...wholesale immigration from the horn of Africa is leading to the problems we are seeing throughout Melbourne"??? Oh come on...
Plenty of cultures are 'proud' of their country without having to jingoistically beat their chests about it. Italians, French, Germans, et al can all be proud of their country without needing to get tattoos of fly flags. Of course, some of them do get tattoos, but we all know which ones...
"wholesale"? Does that mean every person who used to live in the Horn of Africa is now in Australia.
You can see the Southern Cross in South Africa, too. And once the British flag, truth be known.
it made a lot of people who normally didn't have much of an opinion about it all, start to feel pretty uncomfortable and question this whole idea of nationalism.
jerry (or his aussie writers) was right ...the flag does shout out "britain at night" and it also shouts out - "owned by britain".
which is strange really, when you think about the cronulla knobheads et al - who shout "australia for australians" - when their own flag sends an all together different message.
Now I firmly believe all goats are devils
For mine I don't think its any one event, Cronulla or any other. Cronulla was an instance of the flag being used in that fashion, not the cause of it.
The love it or leave mentality the flag has developed is just a sign of the creeping insidiousness of the last 11 years, tacitly endorsed and nationally brewed by former PM, John Howard.
(I know, I didn't really need to name the former PM in question. I just like the way it sounds. *Former* PM John Howard. I could repeat that all day :) )
I must say I kind of like our current flag, its simple and I think quite effective. I'm thoroughly sympathetic to the issues around changing it and, on balance, I believe we ought to get a new flag. My concern is that if we changed now the current one would only be further installed as a rebel thing, much like the confederate flag in the states.
Those pointing the finger at John Howard on this point might like to consider Kevin Rudd and the ALP's immigration policy is, er, pretty much the same from what I can see. As in "we decide who comes to this country etc etc".
Why not nip off for a fortnight in Iraq or Lebanon to see what is really like.
I was recently approached by a delightful Sudanese chap who told me "Bitchy Bitchy I want to fuck your arse hard. In my country, I just would. It will be like that here soon'.
In front of my two POINT seven year old toddler who said 'fuck arse fuck arse fuck arse' all the way to the car.
Deeeeeeeelightful.
how did you so deftly translate a discussion on patriotism into yet another Howard rant.
Not that i disagree with you per se, it just seems to completely pervade your conciousness.
Also, congrats on the new position next year - im genuinely happy for you. Also also, I predict that a certain co-host will inspire genocidal despair for the state of humanity within you. His name isn't Vijay
Should be enlightening
Does that make me boring?
Once upon a time I had a soapbox for immigration too, let them all in, they have the right to live free and lucky like us, I only ask that you bring a plate and be nice. most immigent groups so far have, yay, take away is now so much more then fish and chips.
Now however, when being a single angelo-saxon female who speaks only english seems to offend everyone else, I'm getting a bit thingie on immigration. Particularly when the interests of said groups often is portrayed as more important then the way we as a country have behaved to this point - stupid example but; the xmas trees in schools type thing. I remember the Asian gangs and how they used to go out after each other, fine, they hate each other, I'd prefer if you didn't in my town, but what not, not like so much now when the people we allowed into our country to live a better life are out to hurt or intimidate us.
yeah, thats true, not ALL of those groups and certainly not all the people within them are bahaving badly, enough are to piss people off though.
I don't want to slam the door shut, but I certainly don't think it's racist or backwards to say we want to choose who comes into the country to occupy our public housing and spend my tax in the form of welfare.
Fits, don't you love australia too? What do you do on Australia Day apart from listen to the hottest 100?
I'm not one for tatts but at least the flag - not on rednecks - isn't going to go out of fashion.
Our flag rocks. How sexy do girls look (apart from Pauline) wearing it?
Look on the bright side of the Aussie flag conversation. i bet it took your mind off all the rip rip pain that ladies go though just to keep a tidy front yard.
O rly? Since when?
Single white female my arse. I call bitter 50 year old male concern troll.
And do I love my country? Nup. The idea of loving a abstract geo-political construct is a bit frigging absurd. Grow up - get to know real people - learn to love them. They'll love you back which is something a country will never do.
fits, i love you, but vaginas with hair aren't untidy. they're completely, utterly normal.
that is all.
ruby
x
Who said I had no hair? I have hair. I'm just groomed, in a fashion which pleases me.
Now back to the issue at hand...
I'd just like to pass congratulations on to you for your new morning radio spot on Triple J.
I guess this means that you will have to relocate to Sydney. Melbourne will miss you (only joking, we won't miss you one fucking bit)
Have fun
Wry
Let's get some Americans to invade (sorry, emigrate). Perhaps they can bring some guns.
I blame Howard for getting rid of guns. A little violence never hurt anyone.
What a mad, mad world in which we live...
Now I'm an old fart myself and we still have Angloconservatives wanting the flag another country rather than their own. And most of them are younger than me! It's enough to make you weep.
As for pussy hair, there is no right and wrong. I like mine bald as badger. Boys like a bit of topiary around the lips in my experience, though being a nawdy bisexual, I prefer to eat a sphynx than a persian, though wouldn't necessarily throw a burmese into a plastic bag and head for the river either...
Depends on who it's attached to really...
call me in ten then.
Since thats the vibe I get sometimes, in the train, on the street whatever. You're not speaking or dressing appropriatly or some other such thing. Comments like 'In my culture thats very rude'. To be at work and walk into a room full of people not speaking english. When you are the only skip in your carriage until after springvale. Over time it wears down your tollarence and carefactor.
"Single white female my arse. I call bitter 50 year old male concern troll."
you can think you're right and I'm some random troll you know but I now think you're a knob who knows all spaz. sorry.
Comments are closed.