Friday q and a #78.
Oh boy, I'm on the Gold Coast and surrounded by beloveds and preparing for a couple of weeks in the sunshine. Strange occurrences and mix tapes and o! loveliness in Collinghood and all of a sudden Byron Bay seems a giddy prospect ARE YOU ENVIOUS YET.
I can't believe I'm looking out at the ocean and so overtired I'm thinking in Egyptian and yet attempting to answer Friday questions. There's something seriously wrong with me.
Anonymous said...
'allo treacle,
my questions are three:
1) should i move to melbourne? i'm on the cusp of a sad, sad break-up, nursing a bruise of an ill-advised (but keenly felt) crush on someone reasonably unattainable, and struggling to keep my head above water in the dreariest of british summers (empirically, the wettest month in 50 years. joy.).
2) would moving under these circumstances - even though it's something i've longed to do for years - constitute running away?
3) if i did make the big move, where would you suggest pitching my tent?
thanking you kindly, o oracle...
Hello, Anonymous. I'm sorry you're going through such a trying time. Would it help if I told you that Daryl Somers probably cries himself to sleep every night? We can LOL and ROFL at his emotional pain together as we are callous cunts and thus nature balances itself.
To your questions.
1) A big move could really go either way for you - obviously freeing yourself from your sticky heartbreak and starting anew in a strange city might be just the thing to jazz up your waking hours and release the Beast Within(TM), though being unleashed and unanchored may give you too much worry in your anxious belly. I say do it. You only live once/a life unexamined, etc.
2) Possibly, but who cares? Who are these naysayers to judge your emotionally abrupt decision-making process? You are free to make a hash of your life and behave erratically and there ain't a damn thing those pencil-pushers up at City Hall can do about it.
3) Brunswick. Beautiful, earthy, green, full of handsomeness. Your life will be richer and for what it's worth I think you are brave and marvellous.
Jess said...
Anonymous 8.01pm - move. Trust me. It's fucking ace down here.
The sunscreen Nazi will no doubt go further to convince you of Melbourne's majesty so I'll be off.
x
'The Sunscreen Nazi', huh? Another gem to add to my plethora of colourful nicknames courtesy of you.
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING UNCOOL ABOUT AVOIDING SKIN CANCER, YOUNG LADY.
Jess said...
Reading last week's questions was an odd experience, as I was reading Mia Timpano's piece in the latest frankie and listening to Amy Winehouse, and then went into the kitchen for some organic dark chocolate and miso soup, and came back and clicked refresh only to find all these things mentioned in one form or another.
Now I'm listening to Beck and eating dry weetbix with Vegemite and butter, and hope to see these things incorporated duly next Friday, although maybe I just jinxed it by mentioning them.
Anyway, I just wanted to get in first(ish), but since this is a Q&A...does purchasing an electric blanket imply definitively giving up on the warm snuggly boy front?
That's quite the challenge, Jess. I'll see what I can do.
Re: electric blanket purchase. It most certainly does not. It simply implies that you are creating a warm and inviting bedly nook for your next paramour to slumber safely in between bouts of staring at you with increasingly awestruck adoration and taking to your vagina with fevered passion. Won't he be appreciative of the effort you've gone to? A set of clean sheets and an all-encompassing warmth will most likely push him over the edge and you'll never get him to leave.
Lucky thing.
Miss T said...
Dear Ms Fits,
First, I would like to thank you for keeping this blog up and running -- it has provided me with much needed entertainment and I always thoroughly enjoy reading your writing.
My question for you is: what is your lipstick of choice and why? I'm a bit suspicious of those "long lasting 16hr+" ones because they just look suss.
Also, are you a wearer of sunscreen?
Cheers!
a) Actually, I'm quite a fan of those long-lasters as I tend to make a spectacle of myself when presented with amounts of food and the more rigid ones will stay on through three courses and an extensive doorstop tonguekiss, although you'll probably need to hire a team of welders to get it off before you go to bed. At the moment I'm wearing a Cover Girl red, if you must know.
b) Yes, very much. And big hats. I am incredibly sunsmart. AS SHOULD YOU ALL BE, ESPECIALLY FOOLHARDY BLOGGER LADIES NAMED JESSICA.
Max B said...
"The sunscreen Nazi will no doubt go further to convince you of Melbourne's majesty so I'll be off."
There you go, Miss T! Question answered!
Jess, are you the same "insider" who goes to the effort of defending Ms Fits from the claim, on Mikeed's blog, that she's a smoker?
It really doesn't make that much difference to me if people claim that I am a smoker, to be honest. I'm not, and never have been. Worrying about false claims on other people's blogs seems like a total waste of time although if anyone ever outs me as a Callea fan I'm going to come looking for them and cut them while they sleep.
Big Matt Stud said...
Ms Fits, I don't know if you ever collected footy cards during your
time as a youthful cake baking, Tim Pekin stalking Fitzroy tragic, but
I thought you might enjoy this collection of 22
worst footy cards from the 1970s, put together by somebody from
the AFL as part of a tribute to Heritage Round.
Now, the AFL is not normally noted for its sense of humour, and I don't know who put these together, but the commentary on the cards is absolutely hilarious. Click on each card and mouse over it to see what I mean. My personal favourite is the Carl Ditterich card, but there are many gems to be enjoyed here, and being a long suffering Melbourne supporter I note with some pride that the three most incompetent
looking footballers were all running around for the Dees.
Does this count as a question ? Probably not but I just felt I wanted to share.
Not really a question, but yes. Utterly worth sharing. And I did indeed collect a fine brick of Scanlens which presumably remain wedged in the back of a cupboard at my folks' place unless they've sold them and spent the money on crack cocaine/slave children named Pax.
Jane said...
I'm curious, have you heard from Brett Birkhill?
I haven't, no. Not since I went to my high school reunion and made a bee-line for him, grabbing him by his lapels and shouting I WROTE A STORY ABOUT WHEN WE WENT ON A DATE TO THE ZOO AND I LAUGHED SO HARD I WET MY PANTS ISN'T THAT JUST TWELVE EXOTIC TYPES OF MARVELLOUS before being dragged away by security and turfed unceremoniously out onto Church street. I can't imagine why he hasn't looked me up since.
Anonymous said...
unless you're planning to invite myself,hamish and shaun around for an evening of mersey valley, wine and some kind of game that involves clothes being removed, you just love them from afar. I've bagsed them already.
Perhaps I'm planning just that, Anon. Do you think Hamish and Shaun would prefer red or white? I'll get a bottle of both
richardwatts said...
1. Where does one find a redhead to loll (or even LOL) about with?
2. What if I don't like whisky? Will port or a good red suffice?
3. What if there's no clean sheets; is it rude to loll about on one's
housemate's bed if they've been to the laundrette more recently than
you?
4. Am I being too literal?
5. Your thoughts on Kerouac? I like his life more that his literature,
which I think cries out for a rigorous editor; and
you?
1. I found mine hiding in a corner at the European Bier Cafe looking offensively handsome in a 60's suit, but I wouldn't recommend you go there trawling for bloodnuts as it seems to be overstocked with cockspanks in rugby t-shirts rubbing up against each other to bad house music. I'm not certain where our ginger brothers linger 'en unit', though it's a safe bet they'd be staying well away from the sun's cancerous rays so St. Kilda beach can be struck off the list for starters.
2. A good red always suffices, young man. Always. See q. 1.
3. It's probably rude, but I'd say it's the done thing in most rock n roll share houses these days. I got home from some time away recently to find evidence which suggested the nice girl minding my apartment may have perhaps participated in some kind of drug/sex party in my bed and was relatively unfazed by it. It's only bodily fluids, after all.
p.s. This is not an open invitation for any of you people to come and make with the sweaty nookie in my bed while I'm up north. I mean it, you know.
4. No. I EXPECT TO BE TAKEN AT FACE-VALUE.
5. I probably haven't picked up Kerouac since I was a pretentious teenager with lofty literary tastes that I pretended to understand more than I actually did, so I'm not sure I can give a qualified answer. Is it worth exploring On The Road again? I'm open to suggestion.
rubydoomsday said...
"My question is: How does one get a gig for the Lonely Planet?"
can i field this one, fitsy?
you send them an email. that's all i did. try to have already been published, try to have been well travelled. make your email snappy enough to stand out a bit, as they get a few hundred unsolicited gushes a week from people who *really* love to travel and also *really* love to write and automatically (and wrongly) assume they'll be good travel writers and that it's fat expense accounts and five star hotels all the way after that. it's not, but it's still the best job i've ever had.
oh, and don't piss off your editors so much that they decide you're hard to work with. even if they like your writing. sigh.
verification: wjigl - do a bit of this, too. can't hurt.
Spoken by one who has 'been there', as they say in the trade.
You are always free to field questions Rubes; less work for me and all that.
The Last Scientician said...
Hommus isn't Greek, ya duffer
You're right, it's not. It's also spelt 'hummus'.
I never pretended to have smrts, you know.
*bangs on forehead with spoon*
Fenz said...
This makes me want to declare myself wholly sodden with lesbonitis
and shack up with a ladyfriend just to buck the system. Any available
RYWHM fillies keen?
*raises hand and waves manically*
oooh me, me, pick me, pick meeee!
:)
Right you are then, Fenz. Let's gay it the fuck up. I'd probably prefer to be the femme, but if you want me to 'do' trousers I'm happy to give it a shot as I am prepared to make several personal sacrifices in order to buck the system.
gigglewick said...
Dear Ms Fits,
I did like The Sharp, back in the day and even bought their first album. I also had a single* with a cover of 'Vicious' on it that I still think of fondly, despite its apparent disappearance from my CD collection (a mystery which could possibly be explained by my flirtation with the North Fitzroy "scene" in the mid-late 90s).
My question is: have you listened to their music recently and if so, what do you make of it all these years hence?
gigglewick
* At 30, buying CD singles strikes me as a very teenage thing to do. Who the hell has got time to listen to a single these days? Unless it is your job, obvs.
It's very difficult to listen to a band you were once devoted to as a somewhat misguided teen with completely objective ears, gigglewick. Every precious rendition of 'Scratch My Back' is accompanied by a flip-book of brainflashes; heady nights sneaking around the Espy beer garden or wearing hotpants to the New Orleans, or simply sitting at Sing Sing studios eating hot pita bread from the downstairs Lebanese bakery and avoiding the attentions of Johnny Diesel. Obviously my musical library has extended since early pop obsessions, thanks to the kindly attentions of erstwhile paramours, and the songs that once made me want to sit up and say MY WORD YES now occasionally appear a little on the Iced VoVo side.
Having said that, I do like the odd meander down knees-up boulevard. Bring me your pop, your diet folk, your C and C Music Factory. I will treat them with kindness.
Also:
Jimmy said...
In response to Gigglewicks earlier post, I have the same Sharp EP - thank you for reminding me to dig it out later.
For the benefit of other readers, it also contained rather spiffing covers of Hanging on the Telephone and Lovecats.
I commend it to all, and quietly hope they will one day re-form. Sigh.
Perhaps we can get them to play at the next Blogger drinks, Jimmy. I don't doubt they'd be keen to slide into the skivvies and deliver us from evil with their popsy goodtimes.
YET MORE:
Big Matt Stud said...
The re-appearance of The Sharp sub-thread gives me an excuse to trot out my Sharp related stories:
1. I think I was nearly in The Sharp, or at least the pre-cursor, which I think was called something like 67 Sharp (do I hear 68, 69 ?) I went for a meeting/audition with this guy called Charlie Rooke who said he was looking to start a rockabilly covers band and then start playing originals. He gave me a tape of songs to learn and then I'm not sure what happened. I think I went overseas to chase a girl, and when I came back I found that they'd become famous. This worked out well all round because the bass player they ended up with was a much better musician than I am, and I kind of didn't like them all that much. For some reason the double bass was particularly irritating to me.
2. Much later when I was in my very own little-known early nineties band* (TM) we actually played with The Sharp in some hell hole in Gippsland (Drouin, Warragul ? and apologies to any readers from either of those places). During load out** I actually held the hated double bass in my hand and had a sudden impulse to smash it, which thankfully I resisted.
Again, not a question, sorry.
*I'm not trying to start another round of I'm Not Craig style guess-which-band-that-nobody's-ever-heard -of-BMS-was-in, but given that nobody would ever have heard of us it's a little pointless naming them. And it's kind of ironic that one of the comments which inspired me to write this one was by Gigglewick, who appears to be INC's partner. Spooky.
**Ah, the joy of waiting around to load out the main band's gear on a weeknight in Drouin. There's the glamorous rock and roll lifestyle for you. Good times.
Christ on a bike, it's the Sharp-sponsored Friday q and a.
You realise I'm now busting to know which band you were in, BMS? Go on, can we start a new game? I love that lame Mormon-let's-all-sit-together-and-clap-hands stuff.
Freehugstommy said...
Fits my dear,
I have just returned from the extremely entertaining and rather erotic
Burlesque Hour More. Have you yet been to see this marvelous piece of
entertainment? If so, what was your favourite part? If not, why not?
No, seriously, why not?
Of course I have, Freehugstommy - my Gabi's Town Bikes have been the special guest act for about five thousand shows and even toured Edinburgh with Moira and co. I loved the Burlesque Hour far more than I expected to as I'm not usually overly partial to highbrow performance art though to be honest my favourite bit was standing out the front of one particular performance holding Gab's costume bags and being congratulated on my non-existent performance by someone who thought I was a Bike.
I accepted graciously, of course.
Anonymous said...
Stands With A Fits,
What are the seven wonders of Melbourne?
1. The Bolte Bridge.
2. The Town Hall during Comedy Festival.
3. Those massive cyborg apartments that look like an army of space boats dominating Docklands.
4. Clusters of trees that hide sexing in the Botanical Gardens.
5. The Erwin Rado Theatre.
6. The Supper Club.
7. My mum.
Anonymous said...
Fits and giggles,
would you please share your thoughts on seapatrol and josh lawson.
Sea Patrol I've not yet seen, though I predicted it would be a bit of a smash as I am a cunning soothsayer who you should all really pay more attention to. Josh Lawson captured my imagination when I saw him performing in Co**on's brilliant play, The Fifth At Randwick. His comic timing is absolutely fucking impeccable and it was only a matter of time before people started paying close attention. Is he making with the funny on Sea Patrol or just striding around in a jumpsuit dragging people with turbans out of the ocean? I really must watch an episode sometime in the near future.
Anonymous said...
Why do you wear your hair the way you do?
Because I'm used to it, I guess. I've done it this way for years and I'm very low-maintenance when it comes to grooming and I don't actually give a fucking shit if someone I've never met thinks it looks fey.
Although now that I've been scouted as a hair model I may have to lift my game, clearly.
Di said...
Thru Frankie I got to know you.
Wonderful person, you.
I'll read more from you.
and maybe I'll meet you.
What a nice poem. A pleasure to meet you too, Di. Let's celebrate with an orgy of Facebook poking if we ever come into physical contact.
Anonymous said...
A question Ms Fits if I may, Where in the world do you get a decent brazilian wax in Melbourne? I've tried two places and:
Establishment A) Left hair in rather obvious places and was rather 'unfriendly' which made me even more uncomfortable about whipping out my bits! Plus she's given me some sort of strange triangle-ish pubic hair coif - which I may need a merkin for because even though I explained I think i'm suffering male pattern baldness - she did it
anyway.
And Establishment B) also a no go - I thought they may have actually
removed part of my labia along with the wax, and again left a bit of stubble.
(As i'm rather sparse down there, I'm presuming it's not because I
have a thatch you'd need a whipper snipper to get through - i'm assuming they were just bad waxers)
Any advice would be most appreciated!
I swear by 4 Me in Westgarth, even though I find the name unbearably offensive on at least six levels. They're at 108 High St Northcote and I found them after some similarly horrific experiences - although from memory I've never had portions of my labia stripped from my body by an over-enthusiastic young beautician, so you win there.
Anonymous said...
After two months in the delightful city of Melbourne i'm yet to find a job, a place to live and my family are begging me to come home. I am here to be with my fiance, and things are going well, apart from the above.
My questions are as follows:
1) I'm a smart, hardworking person with qualifications and a great personality - why the heck wont someone give me a chance?
2) How long can I remain living with my fiance's family when i'm already at the end of my rope after two months?
3) Should I pack it all in and go back to what I know?
Thanks Fitsy :)
1) I can't answer this one, but I think you're doing the right thing. These things often take more time than first imagined, and it's worth exercising some patience. To blazes with the remainder of the world. You keep throwing your smartness out there and some genius is going to take the bait eventually.
2) Another month. After that you need to move into a Travelodge.
Also: USE YOUR I-POD AT ALL TIMES.
3) No. Stick it out. Above all else you have love in your life, which is to be celebrated each and every day.
Anonymous said...
murakami fan,
alas, tokyo's too far. melbourne is closer, and (thank the lord) we don't have denny's. we do have robot bar though. i think they even have little Japanese plastic cats at the bar. i'm game if you are..
This hook-up is really happening, isn't it? Are you two going to call your first child Senora Fitsakami II? I don't mind if you do.
niknik said...
RE: Crush on younger boy
I happened to have graduated from high school in the year 2000 as well. I dont think it would be going too far to say that in general, we're a pretty good bunch- go for it. I'd definitely go for someone of your 'vintage' (i mean this in the most complementary of ways).
my question: you mentioned once that you are usually in front of the computer screen by 8.30am.. what time do you go to bed? i imagine you must go out quite a bit, being the raging socialite and rabid music fan that you are, so how on earth do you manage to get up so early?
silly question i know, but im quite curious as im having lots of problems dragging myself out of bed before midday these days (full time student, cold weather etc).
thanks,
niknik.
Someone of my 'vintage'. OH GOD I'VE TURNED INTO A FUCKING PINOT.
Thanks for the encouragement with the whole 'wee young whippersnapper boys' conundrum. You're right, the ones I've encountered so far have indeed been upstanding gentlemen and most pleasant company. I will continue to lunge at them with deeply lecherous intent.
Re your query: I'm actually in bed by midnight most nights, though weekends I tend to stay out later with my foolishly hedonistic companions. I find that I'll usually awaken with a start at dawn pretty much every morning so it's in my best interests to try and get slumberous with time to spare lest I spend the entire next day staring dumbly into space and playing Alex Chilton records.
klyntone said...
Good day Ms Fits,
Reading this blog thing is lots of fun, having only been on my face for several months after seventeenish years off said face everything is so new and shiny, so even though I have clocked up a third of a century I feel I have inherited th teenage existence I tried so hard to run from. I have some perhaps mixed up idea that being extreme left would mean not doing anything as right wing as say voting and… well, having put in so much time escaping th attention of th A.E.C what would your argument be to encourage me to enroll and then of course vote?
Are you for serious, on-face? Do you not give flying figlettes about the world you live in? Surely being an extreme leftist does not preclude one from shaping the nation with votes.
Honestly. Get that fucking forgetful glassy-eyed robot out of there and make your mark. It will only take a moment of your time, I swear. The AEC are your friends and they'll make you mix tapes if you ask nicely. They might even buy you dinner.
Ben said...
Do you get sick of blogging? I often feel "I should really keep updating my blog", but then my blog is mainly for me to make up stories and post puns I just thought of, because my life is boring - that's why it was great when my son's birthday came, because, hey! easy blog post, lookit the little person! But then, I think, why should I feel any pressure? No one is out there thinking, dammit, WHY hasn't Le Behemoth posted lately? I NEED the latest episode of Guanacoman!
But you're different because you are the beloved celebrity type, and we crave your brain-squeezings. Do you get sick of keeping it up, or is every post more joyous than the last?
And why do people always want to keep children off the streets? How will they learn? I think we should be working to put more children on the streets, and maybe get them to race each other.
Also, I can't quite put my finger on it, but isn't there something inherently wrong about a show called How To Look Good Naked that is almost entirely concerned with finding flattering clothes for people to wear? How To Look Good Naked = Wear nicer clothes???
I didn't say hi to Helen for you, because I didn't read that until after I'd been on and I didn't know that she was someone you'd want someone to say hi to for you. Next time, I suppose. Helen is very nice to me, but intimidates me subtly. That's my own complex, though - most people intimidate me.
So I have a book that my sister gave me to read, then what shall I read? I haven't read most of the books I've seen you recommend - should I start with Vonnegut? Or Confederacy of Dunces? Or should I bone up on my classics and make another attempt to plough through Ulysses?
Hola Ben.
*bows*
1. I do get sick of blogging occasionally, but try to monitor those days carefully and simply stay the hell away from the computer. For the most part it's a joy and obviously it's nice to have such an immediate reaction to your inane rantings even if said feedback is along the lines of UR A SUCKHOLE AT WRITINGS WOMYN. Why bother if it's not joyful? If I have days where it's just too difficult I simply blow it off and go to a bar. That's right, I'm lowbrow.
2. You're correct, children should remain on the streets. Boot the little buggers out. STARTING WITH YOURS.
3. I've never watched that particular series. How does one look good naked wearing certain layers exactly? I look good naked in a tutu, though am encouraged by most people to leave it at home when I'm game for an evening out.
4. Start with Vonnegut - he's relatively simple and beautiful. I just demolished Breakfast of Champions and it made me a mildly better person for all of twenty minutes. Make of that what you will.
Anonymous said...
Dear Fits
I have been reading and enjoying your blog for a couple of years now, and have noticed the arrival of blog parasites such as Mikeed and a couple of other malfunctioning fucknuckles in more recent times.
I know you have a policy of letting disturbed rightwing ranters do what they do best, but it's ruining my enjoyment.
My question is: can you please cut these fuckheaads off and remove their boring and aggro posts for the sake of your other readers?
Conduct a poll if necessary.
Cheers from SAL
I've deleted a couple of the lengthier and more useless comments, actually. I'd prefer not to wade in like a bullyboy and bin the fuckwads, but yeah - if it gets too much I'm happy to just use my discretion and randomly slash. I'm a Gemini and a lady; I'm entitled to change my mind without a moment's notice.
Thoughts, all?
Anonymous said...
RYWHM Community Notice Board- I'll be in Sydney for about 30 hours next week and would like to make the most of it, can i have suggestions please?
It's probably a good time for you to experiment with your sexuality, Anon. They're very open minded up that way. I'd suggest a thorough cock sucking session or veedge bath soaking. Failing that you should auction off your house and have dinner at Tetsuyas before drinking Jager shots at the Judgement Bar and making eyes at handsome young actors. Stay at the Intercontinental and take afternoon cocktails at a rooftop bar. Then lie awake all night singing songs by Yes.
Each to their own, though.
snorks said...
From Q&A 52:
"snorks said...
Did you see the "This Land" animation before the last US election?
http://www.jibjab.com/thisland.html
Do you know of any talented and motivated Aussies that could develop something similar for the PM? Highlights of Johnny's view of the "Australian Dream" perhaps?"
"ms fits said...
I know of several talented and motivated fellow countrymen that could no doubt spend a few happy hours fiddling with computer animation programs until they invented a song-and-dance routine involving John Howard, a hills hoist and the breezily dangling corpses of some dead Iraqi children, sure. Should we set them to work or do people honestly not give a shit anymore? This is a serious question."
One answer is:
http://media.theaustralian.news.com.au/nich/20070711_Yesterday.html
My questions is: Can someone do better?
I'd say we've got better in us, yes. Though it's nice to see folk putting hours into anti-government animations and song medleys. Perhaps we should start some kind of political parody band? Bags me saxophone.
jctrue said...
dear ms fits
this is heavy
but still, it could be fun having you answer it ...
what are your aspirations in life, love and spirituality for the next year?
love
jctrue
1. Life - More of the same, I think. Fine fooding, fevered scribbling, literary soaking. Bathed in the slap-ham awesomeness of my friends and at the lustful mercy of cleverly dry brainiacs. Spending quality time with the best dog in the world. I don't really aim higher than that, am I lacking ambition?
2. Love - Lots of eye-connecting sexualisation with someone whose droll nature and biscuit-scented skin fair takes my breath away. Surely that's not too much to ask.
3. Spirituality - I want to buy one of those 'Goddess Is Dancing' stickers and put it on the bumper of the Krankivan. Then I want to shoot myself in the eye.
************
SATURDAY Q AND A UPDATE:
the.monuments.we.build said...
Hi Ms Fits,
(Not-so-)long time reader, first-time question asker, and all that crap.
So here's the thing. I just finished reading The Rachel Papers, by Martin Amis, and I know you like his work. I'm not sure if you've read this one? but if so... I blogged about it last night, because I feel awfully bad about how well I identify with the male characters in the book.
I wondered if it was an exclusively Male thing to behave this way, but after some thought I doubt that. Maybe it comes from not meeting the right person. In my case, being gay doesn't help, because the "all men are pigs" line then applies to both sides of the equation, which some couples "solve" with open relationships. But once again that's a sexist cop-out.
So I guess, if you are familiar with the book, here are my questions:
1) Do you think the behaviour of Charles, Norman and Charles' Father is typically a "male thing", or can women be just as .. shallow/capricious/etc?
2) Should I feel bad about identifying so much with Charles even though he has the excuse of being 19 and I am nearly 28?
If you haven't read the book .. well, maybe you can discard this question. Or add The Rachel Papers to your pile and get back to me!
xie la,
D.
PS: sorry my previous post had a bad anchor tag in it, so I've reposted.
I'm not only familiar with The Rachel Papers, I am an unabashed fan. It's like hearing an early Amis demo tape sifting through his excessive verbage and admiring the way he attempts to impress himself with magnificently flowery prose.
Additionally, I'm with you on the somewhat shamefacedly relating to Charles and his pompous fickle nature - which presumably means that no, being a callous and judgemental love interest is not solely confined to the more hirsuite sex. Surely it's an individual thing, anyway. There are bullish and cocky moral scoundrels who favour a skirt, just as there are devoted and monogamous wifely fellows. I don't think one particular quality can be deemed solely a mannish one unless of course it's touching each other on the bottoms as a congratulatory gesture which remains mystifying to this day.
With regard to inhabiting somewhat teensome qualities in your almost-thirtiness there...I refuse to pass judgement on your inability to break free from adolescent emotional backwash as I too remain firmly mired in coltish babybrain and as yet see no way forward into the world of adulthood. Let us thumb our nose at convention together.
Anonymous said...
Ms fits,
I love my boyfriend to death. We click on every level..except...we fight. Alot. Like more than John and Janette Howard would after she's had a few too many wines.
We are both amazingly firey people and neither of us like to lose. We are also a bit 'touchy' and get slightly offended when the other makes an off the cuff comment (like last night he called me 'queen of moody' logically, I have no idea why it upset me but it did).We talk about why we fight and resolve not to do it again, but alas two weeks later we have a spat over something small, don't talk for a few hours, then we are fine again.
What the hell can I/we do to fix the fighting apect of our otherwise amazing relationship?
Thanks!!
Maddy x
Oh, that's a difficult one. People really can set each other off occasionally, can't they? Whether it's a chemical reaction or just poisonous fately challenge, once a mode of communication has been locked into by two somewhat fiery spirits like yourselves it does seem hard to adjust. I've had some all-out barneys with a couple of ex partners, including one which climaxed with me throwing a glass bottle at the red and angry face on the other side of the room (I'm not proud of this) and the very notion of spitting venom at the person whose very being makes your kidneys vibrate is just heartbreaking. Ultimately I find too much conflict erodes the soul and usually end up neatly extricating myself from those particular relationships as I am ALL ABOUT PEACE.
You're doing the right thing by discussing the bouts afterwards, though it doesn't seem to be cutting matters off at the pass. Can you create a certain signal in the cool light of day that gives you both a moment to get out of each other's faces? Sometimes even racking off to the backyard for five minutes of circular breathing can dissipate a punch-on and if anything having one of you shouting I'M SENDING YOU INTO THE CALMNESS BOX KID might be amusing enough to end it right then and there.
Anonymous said...
A question if I may,
Five years ago, I adpoted a dog from the RSPCA. She was about to be put down the following day and I have exactly five minutes to make the choice if I would adopt her or not.
I did. And it was the best moment of my life.
I'd sneak her into bed on cold mornings, cook her special meals, buy her toys, take her everywhere with me. We survived a relationship break up together, two operations (hers and mine) and even unemployment (clearly that was me, not her). She truly was and is my best friend. But now i've had to leave her to move away for work. It's been two months and I just can't get over the massive void she has left in my life. I miss her. Even though i've left her in the house she grew up in with an amazingy kind man looking after her, I still can't get over the heavy feeling left in my heart.
My question is: Do you think, she thinks I have abandoned her?
I know I could never replace her, but if you ever had to leave bob ellis (dog) what would you do?
Please give bob ellis (dog) a hug on my behalf.
Thanks for your time fitsy x
Oh, you poor darlin'. That sounds a terrible experience. I can't imagine leaving Bob Ellis for longer than a few weeks at a stretch, and last time I came home from time away she displayed her annoyance with me by quietly urinating on the living room floor which seemed relatively fair enough and has been the way I deal with most of my upsets since.
Who knows how much canines take on board emotionally; if they sit in the kitchen trembling and howling and counting the hours 'til we return or if they simply let the hours fly by like goldfish, staring at the sofa cushion and only realising we've been away a long time due to our new and exciting haircut. It's relatively difficult to say for certain that your hound is suffering separation issues or simply revelling in her new life with a lovely dad. Are you able to visit or is it causing you too much grief?
I'm afraid I've never really contemplated leaving B.Ellis. If an offer sprang up to live overseas for a year I'd probably have to decline, though I understand why you did what you did. Boy, I've only been out of Melbourne for twenty four hours and I'm already missing my dog. Maybe I'll scratch Gen on the belly and see if it suffices for now.
nico said...
My question is, can you find my friend a new flatmate/s?
He lives in Northcote (near Westgarth) in a two bedroom single fronted terrace and has had some bad luck of late with transient flatmate's occupying, and leaving, his spare room. His name is Pete and he's pretty easy-going. I'd live there if I wasn't legally bound to my present address.
Thanks Fits.
Sure, why not?
Anyone looking to throw caution to the wind and bunk into the New York end of High street with a complete stranger lauded as 'easy-going' on an annoying pop-culture blog? Beats perusing the Flatmates Wanted window of Readings, I'd wager.
Easily Confused said...
Hello Ms Fits,
Am I the only person who reads these stupid relationship advice articles on the way to Yahoo mail and then gets worried about their relationship?
Number 5 made me giggle though:
"5. Losing sexual interest. A healthy sex life can make or break a relationship. If you find that your partner is becoming more sexually aloof, you need to get to the root of the issue."
Root! HA! Oh dear, sorry about that, easily confused and amused.
xx
Probably not the only one, no. Following the Yahoo links when you're checking mail is the internet equivalent of impulse buying, though you should really be paying scant attention to advice columns which begin 'One day, you are madly in love. You're cuddling on the couch, reading love poems and feeding each other sushi' as they are clearly written by messengers of Satan.
Also Number 1 may be bad news for our warring friend up there:
'1. Picking fights. No one is saying you have to get along 24/7. Constructive conflict can actually be good for your relationship. But if you find that your partner has become argumentative over petty issues like your clothes or choice of restaurant, that should serve as a warning sign that he/she may be looking for an excuse to bail.'
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, Maddy.
bianca said...
Dear Ms,
Is it ok to sometimes hate your pet? My cat is 15 years old, and sometimes has a little "accident". He also gets dags, which I sometimes don't notice until after he's been lovingly sitting on my cream velour couch.
I adore my cat, really I do, but this is driving me mad. I can't stand the thought of putting him down, even though he's clearly at the pet-version of nanna nappies.
Would you suggest I try meditation, or taking to him with clippers?
Yours, in pet ownership.
Verification: fgffjyq -- much like what I scream when he forgets to clean his butt .... FGFFJYQ!!!
I don't think 'hate' is the right word, but it's certainly normal for a pet and their owner to get sniffy with each other on occasion. You're constant companions and forever all 'up' in the other's 'grill' and it's inevitable that some days you simply want to boot your beloved bundle of love in the butt and shout FOR FUCK'S SAKE STOP STARING AT ME WHEN I'M MAKING SEX just as they occasionally think we sound stupid when we try to talk about politics and should really lay off the white wines before dinner.
Yes, clipper your feline and accept their foibles as you would a long-term partner when they get on a bit and insist on driving with the seat so close to the steering wheel their forehead is touching the windscreen. It's a sign of true love that you weather such messy storms, and besides which seeing a cat in tiny Depends would just be about the most adorable thing ever.
**********************
< / update>
So it goes. I am free to torment Sunshine Coast teens and take to the road.Leave questions for next Friday in the comments below, please. And enjoy your time in church.
124 days til the next election.
Comments
My thoughts?
Hooray for changing your mind willy nilly! I think it's absolutely imperative that people always feel free to do this. Who makes the rules around here anyway? Those that might disagree? Tell 'em to go jump in a hole. You're good at that.
X
Squeeze the dregs from your bag of goon, shitheeed, and let's drink to your absence. Now punch yourself in the liver, just for me.
so when *are* the next blogger drinks? I suppose I really oughtn't ask since I got all depresso-melodramatic and deleted my blog and am not really bloggining anymore. Technically I do still have a blog thought, so I'll damn well gatecrash, fuckos whether you like it or not.
Hey there!
I was wondering if you'd mind sharing a vegetarian recipe?
I know there have been some mentioned before, but the prospect of digging them up from the archives, well. Laziness got the best of me, surprisingly.
It's just that all the food I ever do, always has some meat-aspect to it, and I have noticed that vegetarians eat happily on as well.
So what can I make without the dish seeming like it's missing a part of something that used to breathe?
Thank you!
mikeed1313 said...
I could write better TV stoned and drunk, with a finger dipped in my own shit than this fucking idiot.
Champ, you may be stoned and drunk with a penchant for finger-painting with your own excrement but... you don't write better TV. You don't actually write TV at all now, do you?
If you continue to get so pent up about the fact that life offers some people talent, luck and joy as in the case of Ms Fits, then I'm not sure you'll ever learn this very basic life lesson: Shit happens, bucko. Suck it up, stop whinging like a little bitch and go and find something better to do.
Why don't you, for example, go draw one of your little 'pictures' or... something, instead of this embarrassing display of blatant jealousy thinly disguised as some sort weird social statement that no one really understands because you don't seem to be smart enough to be consistent in what it is your getting your knickers into such a knot about. Perhaps you need to examine the art of being a little less subtle if you do, in fact, have something to say that exhibits any substance at all?
Whether people stick up for Fits or not has nothing to do with the fact that you obviously don't have the intellectual potential to fully explore or indeed express whatever it is you're trying to say. Move on, get laid, go for a walk, engage with your 2 commenters in the hope that they're not taking the piss or worse. Anything. For your own, seriously waning, sanity: Find. Something. Better. To. Do.
Ms Fits said...
Thoughts, all?
Get rid of him, ban him if you haven't already. No one should have to put up with this kind of quasi internet stalking, especially when the commenter is both abusive and threatening. I doubt anyone will mourn his loss for too long and I'm sure, once his momentous bitterness subsides and he realises how little people care or need to know about his uninteresting, dilettantish social experiment (which seems to be fast approaching hysteria), he'll form new hobbies (kicking his dog, burning up ants with magnifying glasses, taking up-skirt photos of nuns and grannies) and just carry on being strange somewhere else.
My question is: If all I wanted to do was have a go at some mentally vacant 'person' and offer my thoughts towards your particular conundrum, would you let the fact that I don't have a question pass? Feel free to delete or ignore at will, sorry for the above verbosity, am merely just 'over it' and fear for my ocular muscles at all the eye rollings I've had to partake in whenever he pipes up.
I am not a Fits groupie but please ban him. God he is ten levels of fuckstick. Ban him NOW
sal
Posting anon as stalking creepos make me nervous.
Ban him now please. He's unhinged which is sad but not your problem Fits.
"I'm declaring war on the little bitch, and I'll use every weapon in my formidable armoury to fuck her up."
I find him a bit frightening actually, and worry about you Fits when a nutjob like mikeed stays obsessed for this long.
Let him bleat on about being censored. Free speech has never meant the right to be abusive without expecting a response from the person you are abusing.
Yeah, ban the fucker. He's passed from mildly amusing to tiresome to "it's time to call the cops on this one" in less than a month.
Life's short, and bandwidth is expensive.
He's got his own blog, let him whinge over in the corner.
Misfits,
I am having issues with sydney nightlife atm. Being a fulltime student (woe is me, and all that crap), most of my dreamtime is taken up with looking forward to of times to be had once study/internships etc are over. E.g. exotic travelling, meeting lions, etc. What to do whilst bored and frustrated, when most of sydney is being overrun by teenagers in fluro? Thanks
Why are we fighting?
I agree with The Slapper Princess. It is beyond funny. I would actually consider calling authorities now. I would not want to be an alarmist but he is seriously unwell. Depressed, yes. Bitter, no doubt. Borderline personality disorder, perhaps. Whatever his issues, self protection is vital for you. Watch your back also. he is just awful and the reason why women carry pepper spray.
i think fits has an idea who mikeed1313 is, if it's not confirmed. i suspect it has something to do with a recently shut-down site, and the operators have turned their energies towards fits full-time'ish.
just let it go, ignore otherwise you are all feeding the idiot.
Pray tell what is the site?
What's the goss?
My question:
Who looks after Bob Ellis when you go away?
Hi Ms Fits,
If I may be so bold as to contribute on the back of the advice you gave bianca – I tried to do it at her blog, but permissions wouldn’t allow - I had to put down my eldery kitty earlier this year and I'm well aware of the patience you have to have for the last year or so of their life.
It gets increasingly frustrating (accidents from both ends all over bedding and white carpets, and the litter tray was surrounded by newspaper, cos at that age I believe nearby is good enough) and your beloved gets needy and fussy (“I don’t like that food any more, though it’s one of the few things I’ve eaten for years now”), but you still have wonderful times in between the bouts of angst. Clippers do become necessary (in my case, for her claws – they didn’t retract any more and she got caught on things), as does carpet cleaner and a large supply of sponges/wipes, you get to know your local launderette rather well and if you go a month without visiting the vet, then that’s a bonus.
I often got pretty pissed off with her, and felt awfully guilty about thoughts of a happy future without her and the twice daily clean-ups – YOU’RE NOT ALONE THERE. But when the time comes for that last trip to the vet, you’ll know that it’s right. Anger and guilt wont even be a factor in the decision, it’ll be made from the heart and knowing that your cat’s had enough time here, thanks. It may sound silly, but my cat told me when she was ready to go – I’m sure your boy will too. In the mean time, enjoy the good and meditate/grit your teeth through the messy. Hope the shared understanding helps.
Oh, and my question: could you please tell me the name of that Dirty Three track that was selected as a rooting song on July 10’s BOTB please? Ta.
Hey,
Purely hypothetical question....
If you were madly madly in love with a much older minor celebrity and televison screenwriter, whom you've never met. Would revealing that to them be considered stalkerish behaviour?
Also what should I do about it?
And why don't you take the bottle of pills at the same time as the bottle of alcohol, and get it over with already?
MY question:
RE the lack of interest in sex comment. I am not exaggerating when i say i think i have a really strikingly amazing relationship with my girlfriend. After three years, we cannot spend enough time together, and love to do so. She's my soul mate, my everything. Unfortunately, our sex drives do not match. I would like to have sex three/four/eight times a week, she would like it once. We talk about it, she feels insanely guilty, we both cry, it continues.
I want to spend forever with her. Is matching sex drives vital to achieve this?
Ms Fits said...
Thoughts, all?
Mikeed seems to be seriously obsessed with you, Ms Fits. And not in a good way. I am seriously worried for you.
Take care, dear.
Bigg Matt Stud said
And it's kind of ironic that one of the comments which inspired me to write this one was by Gigglewick, who appears to be INC's partner. Spooky.
Well, that must have come as quite a shock to Gigglewick's husband.
And to Gigglewick.
I'm mildly surprised too.
Regarding Mikeed1313. He's a little looney, although I think he always has a great big smile on his face when he's writing and probably shouldn't be taken all that seriously.
However, his long posts are the boring tripe of a failed university student who played far too much Dungeons and Dragons with his spotty mates.
Ban him for being a dull, predictable twat please. Maybe then he will go out and get a life, which might be the best thing that could happen to him.
Dunno about banning Mikeed but I'd certainly like to see him surgically grafted onto Alexander Downer. Harsh but fair. For both of them.
re Mikeed et al: Yes, please delete them. I appreciate your desire to not be perturbed by these fuckwads but even having to scroll through his latest essay seriously detracts from the pleasure of reading your blog and the comments section. Do it, if only for us, Fitsy!
Hello again wordsmith Fits
No, no I’m not particularly serious, sometimes I speak like that in an attempt to highlight th absurdity of common sayings.
Does bragging about being on “my” face have some meaning I am unaware of?
Sorry, I guess there is no intelligent way to say I’ve been wasted for half my life, once th novelty of th emerging clarity wears off I will probably refrain from mentioning it at all.
I do care and am incredibly thin skinned yet have helped shaped th nation by climbing trees that are marked to be culled keeping them safe until th more politically minded make th changes necessary to save th trees without needing a 24 hour guard.
Do you have a favourite tree, either an individual or a particular species?
Th glassy-eyed hardly ever forgetful robot is deprogramming but is still a bit, shall we say suspicious.
I see so much opposition towards John W Howard and there really are very few who don’t vote. Everyone I speak to says they don’t vote for him due to various lies and betrayals, there must of course be some kind of conspiracy, other wise how else can he continue to be re-elected.
Do you have any outlandish explanations of th exact nature of these conspiracies?
Good luck with th mikeed1313 drama, he has not posted anything I have enjoyed reading.
All th best,
K
hey ms fits
sorry to bother you again but i need some advice. my birthday is coming up and i'd like to have a house party to celebrate, but please, i need some tips. what makes a great house party? i've had a few in my time, but i really want this one to be spectacular.
what shall i do about music? do i get a DJ? (suggestions) or leave my itunes on shuffle? or should i beg some muso friends to set themselves up in my loungeroom? that could be cool, not sure about how my neighbours would feel about this though..
hmm..yes. any tips would be greatly appreciated.
ta,
niknik.
This post has been removed by the author.
Thank you, Bam-ba-lam, the shared understanding certainly does help. *lights candle for recently departed daughter of bam*
dear ms fits
wow for your spirituality seekings. goddess is dancing stickers and voilence to ones eye was not what i was expecting but meh! :)
your writings appear to be more entertaining of late - not so serious - and so much more novel.
what is your most favourite film in each category:
1. Action
2. Australian
3. Mockumentry
4. Romance
5. International
Thanks for being wonderful
jc
x
ps i think you are ambitious - just talented about denying it ....
I am so sick of the puerile twat!
Whatever your opinion of the author of this blog, the vitriolic rant that this rabied lunatic seems to enjoy has absolutely no place or purpose other than to denigrate all of us who read these pages and not just the author.
So for all us, in whatever exceedingly obvious form he decides to impose himself upon us with, BAN HIM!!!!!
Let him fester in his little corner.
His life will be short and miserable.
Much Love
Schitzo xx
P.S. I have been drinking at the wesley anne lately, sure I will bump into him soon.
I'm not Craig said...
Big Matt Stud said
And it's kind of ironic that one of the comments which inspired me to write this one was by Gigglewick, who appears to be INC's partner. Spooky.
Well, that must have come as quite a shock to Gigglewick's husband.
And to Gigglewick.
I'm mildly surprised too.
Indeed I am surprised to learn that I am CRAZED INTERNET POLYGAMIST IN STYLE OF 'BIG LOVE'.
In fact an even stranger coincidence is that Mr Fix (actual husband) is strikingly similar in appearance to Allan Catlin, or was, circa 1993.
If perchance, my (actual) husband and I were invited to the impending 2007 Sharp Reunion Tour blogger party we could stand Mr Catlin and Mr Fix next to each other to make a definitive judgment once and for all. However I suspect neither of them would appreciate that very much.
Oh, and could you invite INC/Honeybear too - I've never met them either.
kthanxbye
Gigglewick
LET FINISH THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!
THESE WORDS FROM MIKEED THAT HAVE BEEN TAKEN FROM HIS BLOG VERBATIM.
mikeed1313 said...
Hi there Doc, finally managed to get up at a decent hour.
Pleased that you get some amusement from my little experiment.
I have a confession, however. I started this thing as an exercise in self-promotion for my comic book and artwork, which will be launched and exhibited towards the end of the year.
It all started when I wrote that first Ms Fits story, and spiraled away from there.
The odd thing is that I really don't have any particular feelings about Fits one way or the other.
She just reminded me of the sort of people who drove me out of St Kilda, and she is obviously equipped with a very thick skin, so I thought well why not?
It is a bit of fun, but I have the sense that a small but growing cult is developing around this, and I'm not sure how I feel about being notorious as the Mad Blogger.
I feel quite strange about provoking people to the extent that I do.
I'm actually quite a meek and mild sort, believe it or not. A bit Ben Eltonish.
It has coincided with a very great lethargy I've experienced over the last few weeks.
I think I'll probably run out of steam quite soon, if for no other reason than it is chewing up a bit too much time.
What sort of publishing are you into?
15 July 2007 17:09
BAN HIM!!!!!
PLEASE xx
Seeing as though we're having the poll on mikeed: just do what I do, when you see his name at the top of a comment just skip it. I just did that to all the ones he's posted in this section and life is great! No point reading something you know for sure you will disagree with and yell out loud within the hearing of co-workers "YOU FUCKING KNOB END!" (like reading Andrew Bolt really).
If we all ignore him eventually he'll go away which I think is much more satisfying (and less time consuming for the lovely Fits) than having the mental pigmy's comments erased. When in doubt get the cannister out. The cannister in this case being full of fresh air - one and all fresh air the fucko and leave the demented turd to his dementosity
With regard to the hills-hoist-dead-Iraqi-children-thing this site - which if it is not run by Getup is at least promoted by them - is a good 'un. I like "Who do you trust" by G. Raju and M. Pooley the best out of the ones I've viewed.
34 comments already, poor dear.
ben elton + mikeed = a brace of cocks.
to anon at 7.33 re the site and the goss. this is the previous anon.
i was inaccurate in what i said. not shut-down site but site where the two main contributors (couple) removed themselves from involvement. these two people have targetted fits before. they are really really nasty. and i just though mayhaps it was them/him/her.
i might be wrong. but long-time readers of this blog will know who i mean. does anyone else think so as well?
Ms Fits,
Does this "and all of a sudden Byron Bay seems a giddy prospect" per-any-chance mean you'll be at Splendour?
While always keen for music in a field, I'm a little disgruntled with the line up. I had high hopes for Arcade Fire and other rumour mongers were toying with my feelings by banding about words like Bowie and Bjork.
If you are going, who are you most looking forward to seeing/stealing drinks from their rider?
xo
Don't know why you're all carrying on like pork chops.
It's not like I'm not doing anything Ms Fits hasn't done.
Is it?
Fitz. And anyone else with Dear Ruth Leanings.
Agony Aunt Question for you.
My Beloved, Kind, Caring Boyfriend of five years is the man of my dreams I am sure. Or I was at least once Sure.
He and I have been shacked up together for much of this five years, in domestic happiness, just him and me, no kids.
The thing is, he doesn't like sex. He says he likes sex, and gives me the 'I'm just tired and busy' exception. I just want to get laid.
We're talking 6 months at a time here.
I have given up the Lingere, the sex toy offerings, all initiations, and talking about it.
What is my next step? Leave him and live the life of the odd spinster, or stay with him and wait for all urges to leave me and my vajayjay to just shrivel up and eventually seal?
Does this happen really? Do boys get like this? Is he gay? Love my best friend? Have father Issues?
HELP
Verification: dphsucr.
SUCR!!
I'm reading a good book called Measuring The World. Have you read it?
Thoughts.
Two.
Guidelines from Flickr:
'Don’t be creepy.
You know the guy. Don't be that guy.'
&
"Habet! Hoc habet!"
Vouchsafe with thine aplomb and grace it shall be done.
Yours in panache.
PS I am also fond of verve and pronounce you 51 per cent a maven.
A Bob Ellis update, courtesy of "The Independent Weekly"
On the campaign trail
Writer, film maker and ALP historian Bob Ellis has made a documentary about the 2006 state election campaign that promises some fascinating insights into the machinations of the Rann Labor government, it was revealed today. The laconic Ellis, a close, but critical, friend of the Premier, followed Rann around on the hustings in the lead-up to Rann's landslide win. He told ABC radio today the film featured footage of Deputy Premier Kevin Foley using some colourful expletives and Rann singing the White Cliffs of Dover.
Do you think Cavallero is the male version of Hooters?
I actually think a television series about the search for the 7 Wonders of Melbourne would be very good, with potential for both loveliness and whimsy. I would like to host it. THIS WAS MY IDEA! I have been informed that to get ahead at the ABC I shall have to perform lewd acts upon a person called "Courtney Whatsherface", so I shall get right on that.
I have a vague idea I read somewhere that Shaun Micallef doesn't drink. I might be wrong. I could be thinking of Kenny Everett. He doesn't drink, because he is dead.
1. How important is sex, really?
2. Would I be happier if I believed in god?
3. Is the dumbing down of politics unavoidable? Is major success genuinely impossible for a politician who chooses not to appeal to baser instincts, who does not talk purely in sound grabs and is willing to build upon a foundation of logic and reason? Would the populace really be repelled by a leader who, for instance, was willing to say, "yes, action is needed on the problems in indigenous communities, and we shall take action, but to strip innocent people of the rights enjoyed by their fellow citizens based purely on their colour, or their location, is antithetical to the kind of society we aspire to, and we will not do it"? Or one who said, for example, "As understandably unnerved as we all are when terrorism rears its head, we will not make judgments that could destroy people's lives until the evidence is in and the rule of law has run its course, and as a government we will not attempt to find ways to circumvent the independent judiciary upon which our very system of government is founded"?
Or, gods forbid, a leader who simply said, "I will decide each and every issue of import that comes my way on the basis of calm and rational assessment of the facts and of all the relevant evidence, and will not allow appeals to emotion, prejudice or superstition affect my decisions, because they are just too important to be thus determined"?
Just tell me, my best beloved, are the people so far gone they could not warm to such a person?
4. I aroused controversy amongst my immediate family with my callous assertion that the world is now a better place, albeit only marginally, because Stan Zemanek is dead. Am I a horrible person?
You realise I'm now busting to know which band you were in, BMS? Go on, can we start a new game? I love that lame Mormon-let's-all-sit-together-and-clap-hands stuff.
Well, I thought that all of the good ones got used up in the last round, but if anybody wants to start it up again, knock yourselves out. I'm also more than happy just to tell you if no-one wants to play.
And as to this:
And it's kind of ironic that one of the comments which inspired me to write this one was by Gigglewick, who appears to be INC's partner. Spooky.
Well, that must have come as quite a shock to Gigglewick's husband.
And to Gigglewick.
I'm mildly surprised too.
and this
Indeed I am surprised to learn that I am CRAZED INTERNET POLYGAMIST IN STYLE OF 'BIG LOVE'.
In fact an even stranger coincidence is that Mr Fix (actual husband) is strikingly similar in appearance to Allan Catlin, or was, circa 1993.
If perchance, my (actual) husband and I were invited to the impending 2007 Sharp Reunion Tour blogger party we could stand Mr Catlin and Mr Fix next to each other to make a definitive judgment once and for all. However I suspect neither of them would appreciate that very much.
Oh, and could you invite INC/Honeybear too - I've never met them either.
Well, colour me mortified. I saw this post and failed to notice that it was actually written by INC and not, in fact, by Gigglewick.
Apologies to the INC and Gigglewick families.
By the way, +1 for me on flicking mikeed, I'm sick to death of the fucker, even though I do just skip past anything he writes. I was previously in the ignore him and he'll go away camp, but he doesn't really show any signs of doing so.
Also, my word verification is mwcwmwdb - the embarassed mumble of a blog commenter who has just publicly made a dick of himself.
When I was an idiotic fuckstruck 19 year old I foolishly got married to the guy I thought was the love of my life. Nine months later we had the most ridiculously hateful break-up. After our stupid divorce where we seriously battled it out over things like a Disposable Heroes of Hipoprisy cd - we pretty much did all we could to never see each other again.
It has been over 10 years since we have had any form of contact.
Last week I was crossing the street and this guy just caught my eye. It was the once-dreaded ex. But something strange happened, we recognised each other and just had this gorgeous hug. We swapped numbers and last Friday caught up for drinks. And it was brilliant. We had one of those electric evenings where I had to hold myself back - I think I have fallen in love with him again. We have not stopped texting, calling, emailing since. But there is a slight problem. I have been seeing my boyfriend for nearly a year and my ex is living with his long-term girlfriend.
Am I a stupid romantic fool or could he possibly be the love of my life?
Nothing has happened but I want it to - badly. Should I call it off with my boyfriend - he's a fantastic guy but he doesn't set my world on fire like the ex.
We're due to meet again this Friday. Should I go? Am I asking for trouble?
HELP!
Anon 1.35 - I think you've stunned everyone into silence with that one.
Good luck!
Dear Ms Fits,
your article on the Scud's reality show made me lose control of my pelvic floor.
Is there any chance you could review the show 'Kick' screened on SBS? I think you could wring some humour out of it...
Don't know if you take requests, but it's worth a shot..!
I'm falling in love with a friend who has a girlfriend. He has told another friend "The only time i question my love for my girlfriend is when x (moi) is around", so I'm not delusional (completely). We've been flirting a bit of late, you know, nothing clearly definable as above and beyond fun flirtation but... I am falling for the dude. Should I politely bring "my feelings" (I did that annoying hand gesture to indicate what an annoying turn of phrase that is) up while drunk sometime or play my cards close to my chest and hope the girlfriend has an unfortunate altercation with the cheap glue on their wedding invitation envelopes? Painlessly, of course, as I wish her no harm (beyond the immediate sacrifice her current gentleman friend).
Yours sincerely,
Cold in Outer Melbourne.
Comments are closed.