Gaydar currently tuned to minus 3.
So a co-hort of mine vowed to strip naked and run across stage if Sydney band Faker didn't make it into the Triple J Hottest 100. That's right, folks - rock and roll. Anyhow, much to the relief of 2.4 percent of the nation's listening audience Faker made it to the top 10 and Robbie's trousers stayed on and during the live interview I thought I'd bring up this particularly jolly fact.
Me: So Nathan, are you pleased that Faker made it to number 5?
Nathan: Yeah, very.
Me: I bet you're slightly disappointed that Robbie didn't strip naked and run across the stage, though.
Nathan: (looking slightly perplexed) Er...
Me: Go on, you are a bit. Robbie Buck naked! Hilarious.
Nathan: ...Sure. Whatever.
****************
Of course, the next day I pull out my Sunday magazine and realised he's just revealed himself to be gay. So once again I come across as the leering fucktard pointing out naked men to the homosexual. HAY LOOK A PENIS YOU LIKE THEM etc.
Or alternatively:
Me: Now New Kids On The Block are re-forming. Wild.
Jason: I know! I work on the third floor with all these 30-year-old women and they just keep putting the cd on and dancing around to it.
Me: (nudging slyly) Living the dream, Jason. Do they jiggle around much when they're doing it?
Jason: (smiling awkwardly) Ah...yeah.
*exits*
Robbie: Um...Jason might not actually be that enamoured of thirty-year-old women jiggling.
Me: Why not?
Lindsay: He's a bit...Nathan from Faker.
Me: ....oh.
**************************
I really need lessons in spotting this kind of stuff so I don't come across as a major dick. Apparently I just need to remember that every second man in Sydney is gay and take it from there. In the meantime - I'm cram-studying homo 101.
Comments
Good story.
Is using the word "straight" acceptable these days?
What do I know, I'm a classic vanilla bean, apparently.
Lindsay's line was classic as well. He's a wit, that one.
Oh yeah, and you're right about every second guy in Sydney being gay, which is why I snagged a Sydney girl, even though I live in Canberra :)
Good lord, Mr. O'Sophycle. You're right. I bow to your superior language skills.
having grown up in a lovely street of paddington with more male-male retired couples in my street than heterosexual ones... I can offer my services in this regard - firstly we'll set up on oxford st for a coffee out the front of a cafe.
Later in the day we can head to somewhere like summer hill or even greenwich to work on the skills involved spotting the more elderly-couple-with-matching-golden-retrievers-and-perfectly-landscaped-garden variety homosexual gentleman.
I can't believe you haven't already had this training as part of your "Introduction to Sydney" package. I will have words with those in charge!
So the Faker ranga bats for my team does he? That balances out Silverchair's Daniel Johns, who stated his heterosexual credentials rather aggressively at the BDO on Monday...
That was AFTER he kissed me twice on Saturday, richard. I'm convincing myself that even if he was briefly gay, I managed to turn him back.
Don’t change Lady fits. If you don’t know someone prefers male company, it’s not your fault. If you change you will have to give up your sly innuendo. I wonder if you as tuned when it comes to females
I can spot a mans love a mile away, I won a bet on the little dead sea singer
No, but seriously folks, for 18 months I boarded with a gay man and didn't realise he was gay!
Now, how dense is that? I'd equate it to George Dubbya trying to read A Brief History Of Time; did not get it at all.
EE, a man friend of mine knowingly shared a flat for some time with a gay guy who had assumed he was gay when they initially met. Said gay was horrified he'd been sharing with a straight when he finally found out.
These fellers include a housemate and a very close colleague with whom i share an office...
yes I'm single
Between the harbour and gay men, does Sydney offer anything else. Anyone, anyone...thought not.
I believe they have more question marks than they really need.
Also, did you know that your dog features on Richard Wynne's fridge magnet for his Richmond constituents? It uses that photo someone posted up here a while ago (which I now can't find) of her peering in at you through the door of that cafe or bakery or whatever it was on Smith St, with Tim sitting outside. . .
BTW, I can't fault your logic. The *means*, on the other hand ...
I don't have a gaydar. It's broken, very much so. I've full out hit on gay men before and then gotten severally annoyed at their lack of interest in a pretty girl like ma selfz, only to find that they were, well, uninterested...in me...for good cause LOL!
So I think I'm actually in a worse state than you are.
Then he opened a bar - we locked eyes across cocktails and sauv blancs, chatted a bit more...remembered each others names though we'd not seen one another for months
then....at the opening of the MIFF I finally spent a wonderful night laughing and carousing with the object of my blushing desire.
then he introduced me to his boyfriend
four.fucking.years
Perhaps it does but you are not seriously suggesting that Dictionary.com is even close to a worthwhile or authoritative reference? May I suggest the Macquarie for the parochial or the Shorter Oxford for the old school.
unless that's what getting up last night everyday for work is doing to ms fits brain.
for god's sake woman - do get some rest
I'd known him for quite a few months when I was asking about any girlfriends he may have (in a concerned motherly way) and he broke the news to me.
It's just so unfair they get singled out when they tell everyone.
"HAY LOOK A PENIS YOU LIKE THEM!'
hehehe... Awesome.
Then again I did spend most of that day flirting with that fine drummer of theirs... for god's sake don't tell me he's gay too or my fantasies will be ruined.
Ouch! please don't.
"
Isn't Daniel Johns married? You filthy whore?
THEY HAVE PARTED AND SHE IS SHAGGING THE BITTY MAN, THANK YOU.
ps you're terribly funny you know
i didnt realise nathan was gay until i saw him sucking face with another guy before he went on stage!
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