Reasons You Will Hate Me

31Jan11:49

la nadine said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

i was thinking about my current GF3 last night in fact.

and (due to recent movies and tv shows i have viewed), today it consists of:

- joaquim phoenix

- jake gyllenhaal

- bam margera

as for whether or not you can ACTUALLY root mr. hot mcmuso, i'll leave that up to the law.

x

-

31Jan11:55

la nadine said...

ask him if you can bring 2 of your friends.

ASK HIM NOW!!!

*books flight to melbourne just in case*

31Jan11:56

ms fits said...

IT WILL HAPPEN FOR YOU, I SWEAR IT.

I was once like you - laughing at the remote possibilities - and now today, here I am, covered in Kings of Leon tang.

31Jan12:02

Anonymous said...

IS IT OVER YET?

31Jan12:12

Jeremy said...

Hang on, isn't the crucial rule about the GF3 that there must be practically no chance of you ever meeting them?

Picking rock stars you could conceivably meet through other people doesn't may not qualify, does it?

I mean, otherwise you could just pick the three most attractive people you know and your partner would have to be okay with you making TE HOTT SEXING with them.

*refuses to think about the possibilities*

31Jan12:13

Jeremy said...

Let's rephrase that second paragraph so it doesn't sound completely retarded:

"Picking rock stars you're likely to meet through people you already know may not qualify."

31Jan12:46

Dr Nic said...

Does a GF3 only work if it's all three at once, or can they be done separately?

31Jan12:53

ms fits said...

oh my god, ALL THREE AT ONCE?

*breathes into paper bag*

No no, separate is fine.

p.s. MrLefty, I never thought there would be a chance of meeting them. That is why I chose them. But FATE HAS A WAY OF INTERVENING.

31Jan12:54

problematic said...

dont fight the law fits.
if you fight the law the
law will always win...

*thinks of joe strummer*

you are in a position of extreme fortune, i cant believe you are even questioning the GF3 law?

you, fitz, are to take this opportunity by the balls and tinkle them in your little fingers...

ok?
ok.

*wipes brow and returns to work*

31Jan13:15

fricky said...

An Ex & I shared a similar truce but it only extended to one other, mine was a certain channel 9 blonde travel show presenter, who will remain nameless and hers was Keanu Reeves, damn thing was she almost got there!
Got for it Ms Fits just watch out the other Leons

31Jan15:09

Magical_M said...

The husband of a woman I used to work with had the Brand Power lady as his first choice GF3.

And that was back when she had her braces on.

Weird.

31Jan15:31

duk said...

Oh geez ... you mean I have to choose more than one?

1. George Clooney as he is hot,
left, and smart. And a
grown-up.

2. I'll share Joaquin Phoenix with
you, Miss Nads, as he seems
slightly unhinged and the
possibilities are endless!

3. Aiden Quinn (Brad Pitt's big
brother in Legends Of The Fall).
Or Crown Prince Frederick of
Denmark as they look like they
were separated at birth.

31Jan15:41

R.C. Collins said...

Name. Dropping. Cunt.

On second thought maybe being a jizz-mop to a bunch of untalented fucks is your calling.

Bravo!

31Jan15:41

beche-la-mer said...

As my friend pointed out to me the other day, what happens if your GF3 prospect hasn't picked you in his GF3?

Assuming a hot muso has guilt...

31Jan15:44

R.C. Collins said...

Name. Dropping. Cunt.

On second thought maybe being a jizz-mop to a bunch of untalented fucks is your calling.

Bravo!

31Jan15:46

Anonymous said...

Name. Dropping. Cunt.

On second thought maybe being a jizz-mop to a bunch of untalented fucks is your calling.

Bravo!

31Jan15:54

Jeremy said...

Yeah, the misogynist insult was much cleverer the third time, RCC.

31Jan15:54

Anonymous said...

Oh, R.C. Your wit and brilliance is only rivalled by your keyboard abilities.

It was not amusing or witty the first time, nor the second. The third attempt (this time anonymously, which fooled us all) is the hallmark of a pure cocktard.

Bravo? You fuckwit...

Love,

Anon...

31Jan16:04

ms fits said...

I know RC wrote the first two, but WHO IS THAT MYSTERIOUS THIRD COMMENTER?

I have actually missed him terribly. Welcome home, old friend.

31Jan16:25

R.C. Collins said...

Good things always cum in threes, right Jezza?

Not wigging up today?

Good to be back Fits.

Where does the beer for the redneck neo-con Howard-loving fascist jackbooter global warming tsunami deniers go?

31Jan16:26

sublime-ation said...

Someone without much originality, I'd wager.

What I never get is, how are you supposed to talk about people without saying their names? Do have to call them Mr or Ms Anon if they happen to be successful/famous so you don't get called a name dropper?

31Jan17:12

richardwatts said...

Sadly, I've yet to meet a Rock God I'd want to fuck. I've met several I'd like to fuck over, on the other hand; or even better, drive over - preferably in a tank, or something equally prone to making people go splat...

31Jan17:38

Dr Nic said...

Fits, why take one, when you can go the hatrick? That's like shagging one ex-member of Nitocris or Skulker, without collecting the set. Makes no sense to me.
I'm not sure I could come up with a GF3, to be honest...

31Jan18:41

arleeshar said...

My partner and I did this, way back when we were at university. I can't remember who mine were back then, but top of his list was Brooke Satchwell. This was fine, as at the time Brooke Satchwell was hot Neigbours property and professional hair swoosher with under-control sticky-uppy thingys.

Thing is, my partner has recently become a C-Grade television personality on the same network that La Satch used to frequent, and has started going to Those Parties and watching Those People do various lines in various bathrooms.

So you see, I'm confronted with the POSSIBILITY of a similar dilemma. I'm not sure that he actually remembers her as his top choice on The List, but I live in a state of perpetual fear lest the suddenly-more-likely sight of a drunken Satch will propel him into a partner-sanctioned priapic frenzy and shafting will ensue.

31Jan19:07

ms fits said...

Brooke Satchwell could turn many a man, arleeshar. I've always liked her one wonky eye. It's sexy.

Essentially: BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH, etc.

31Jan19:08

Clem said...

Justin Hawkins
Adrien Brody
Alan CUMMING (and yes, I am aware of his "orientation")

31Jan20:41

Golfing Motif said...

What concerns me is the length of time that has elapsed since you were at university, arleeshar, which could conceivably put the young satch in the realms of high school girls, which although legal, is still pretty creepy.

It also concerns me that my partner includes in her GF3, one Adam Sandler, which I find particularly disturbing, if not insulting.

However, it is common knowledge that I would do Keira Nightly {sic}, also that I found Helena Bonham Carter attractive even in planet of the apes (it must be the eyes), and that ever since Boogie Nights I have had a thing for naked blondes on roller skates.

31Jan22:01

Buck Fudd said...

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

31Jan22:45

Rob M said...

Ms. Fits,

I always thought only us completely non-famous people who were allowed to have a GF3.

As you have now acquired a not to be sneezed at level of fame and approximately equal level of notoriety, not to mention a thoroughly admirable degree of shamelessness (online at least) doesn't the whole concept of a GF3 no longer apply to somebody like yourself?

If you'll pardon me, try a little thought experiment. Imagine a graph of extra curricular shagging excuses with "credibility of excuse" on the vertical and "level of fame" on the x-axis", you could draw a gradually decreasing line for the GF3 excuse as one becomes more famous. But let's get all mathematical for a second and draw another line on that graph - one that increases as you get more famous. We'll call this one the "I'm a celebrity, I can do whatever I fucking well please because I'M FUCKING IMPORTANT".

If you do that, there should be a certain crossover point. Anybody less famous than that point should use the GF3 excuse. Anybody more famous should use the "can do whatever" excuse.

Anyway, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Oh for my 3, how about Kate Beckinsale, Julia Sawalha, and Livinia Nixon (though I'd perhaps get longer-lasting satisfaction to see Livinia Nixon go ballistic in a foul-mouthed, possibly violent way at, say, a producer who gives her some particularly ridiculous product to plug).

31Jan23:45

golfing motif said...

Livinia Nixon, eh? I have taught her a thing or two about the birds and the bees. Well, not so much the birds. Not much about bees, either, but it was generally related to biology, if you know what I mean *wink wink*

And if you don't, I mean I taught her biology. That story got more boring as it progressed, didn't it.

01Feb08:18

MelbourneGirl said...

rob m. your graph also needs some nod to the fact that unknown people who stay at home on their computers and venture out to the local school/post office and bank would have a much lower celeb shag opportunity rating (csor)than people who work for, say, tv stations, radio stations, who meet and greet and chat to young hot rock stars and the like.

not jealous or anything, just saying is all.

[goes to post office with csor
of -5]

01Feb08:34

Anonymous said...

what if i listed the 3 members of the sharp as my gf3?

01Feb08:37

leftvegdrunk said...

Hmm. Have been chatting with my better half about the GF3 concept.

She is claiming a Guilt Free Hottest 100.

Fucker.

01Feb08:40

arleeshar said...

actually, Brooke Satchwell is older than both my partner and I. I just looked her up on imdb and was horrified. Maybe she just gives out an aura of eternal youth.

01Feb09:48

la nadine said...

your better half is a GENIUS, leftvegdrunk.

*starts counting down from 100*

01Feb10:25

golfing motif said...

Brooke Satchwell is older than you and your partner?

*sobs uncontrollably*

I used to get by on my looks...

and now I have nothing...

NOTHING!!!!

Wahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

01Feb12:36

Armagnac Esq. said...

The guilt free three is a gendered concept which I don't believe is as easily applied to masculine conceptions of attraction and betrayal.

That being said, get in.

01Feb12:59

Anonymous said...

DJKL sez: I'm a bit confused as to how you are allowed to have an entire band count as one place in your GF3? Surely that is a severe case of hedging your bets that shouldn't be allowed? Taken to it's logical conclusion I could have a GF3 that consisted of the Brazilian Womens Olympic Volleyball Team, the Sugababes (ewww!) and the Perth Lynx... which would be more like a GF37.

Please note that these are only examples designed to prove a point. Although the first one isn't a bad choice.

01Feb16:12

Jess said...

I am chuffed and pleased and other such words to see the return of my pal R.C Collins. But I suppose the real cliff-hanger from this comment thread is...

... WHO IS JEZZA? IS HE\SHE A BRITISH LAWYER HENCE THE WIG? OR IS IT A FRUITY THING, 'TO WONG FOO...' STYLE?

Yes, this is definitely "Who Shot JR?" for the Aussie-blog-reading community.

*settles down*

*grabs handful of popcorn*

*whispers loudly "I HEAR THIS IS BETTER THAN BROKEBACK!" to invisible person virtually sitting in the next seat*

02Feb00:43

Golfing Motif said...

If you liked that, you might like the romantic story of forbidden love on the Stock Market floor that I saw at the DVD store the other day.

It's called Broker Back Mountin'

03Feb00:14

Anonymous said...

03Feb00:15

Anonymous said...

03Feb00:16

Anonymous said...

03Feb01:39

Anonymous said...

04Feb02:42

Anonymous said...

Feel free to spread the word

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