Hate Mail!
Polichicks has received its first hate mail! This is cool and makes us harder and more bitching. I love Ben Rourke from the Manly Council so much, mostly because he's obviously read our website and taken in our one-eyed politics and yet still felt he could sway us with his rapier-sharp arguments:
On 24/9/04 2:06 PM, "Ben Rourke"
'Dear Polichicks
Your biased hatred of our government is disgusting. Brainwashing the community with one eyed opinions like union parties is irresponsible. Have you heard about the complete mess that Latham left to the now dismissed Liverpool Council in Sydney?? Have you bothered to consider the truth on that?! HELLO!! The truth is he’s hardly fit for PM if he can’t even run a grass roots council without leaving it in ruins. Face it, all politicians are 2 faced in one way or another, make some dodgy ‘promises’ and don’t always tell the whole truth.
I work in government and nothing is more sickening than a whining union affiliated employee crapping on about workers rights. They drag down productivity and COST rather than make money for the organisation. A return to Labour will screw over small business, ruining enterprise bargaining and individual contracts, with draconian workplace laws protecting underforming lazy employees from the sack and preventing hard working performers from just reward. If it wasn’t for the government stopping compulsory union membership, we’d all be heading to work like happy little communists, safe in the knowledge that we do little more than the bare minimum to keep our jobs, as sacking the incompetent and lazy types will be outlawed. If you really love this country and want to see it continue to improve, think twice about voting for Labour, or we’ll all be dragged back into the dark ages.
Yours sincerely
BR
'
Is he not just the most adorable thing ever? I have been a rabidly spastic left-winger for twenty-eight years and after I read this email I honestly started reconsidering. Mostly I think it was because of his George Costanza-esque use of the word 'HELLO!!', but the casual inclusion of the term 'happy little communists' sealed the deal. Ben Rourke, I heart you.
So of course when I wrote back I devastated him with my use of language (which, as we all know, is my tool) and evocative imagery:
From: msfits
Sent: Friday, 24 September 2004 4:46 PM
To: Ben Rourke
Subject: Re: VOTE LABOUR?! - MY ARSE!
'Dearest Ben Rourke
Eat a bowl of dick.
Love from Polichicks.'
This is going to totally fuck your shit up, but Ben Rourke really wasn't into my email all that much. Though, I have to say, once again he wins me over with his reply:
On 24/9/04 4:54 PM, "Ben Rourke"
'Oo that hurt miss slutta. Why don’t you go and try spit on the PM when he visits your way. Im sure he’d find your pseudo intellectual capacity worthy of an engaging debate and make you look a complete f#cking idiot, laughing you off on National TV. Your response just shows how pathetic and unprofessional you mob are. Go find another left wing femisist f#cked up communist dyke and shut each other up will you, and have a nice day.'
You see? Even in times of political tumult, we bitter enemies are still able to wish each other a nice day. It warms me. And how does he know that I'm going to meet one of my favourite left wing femisist f#cked up communist dykes on Wednesday? Just you watch us shut each other up, too. I salute Ben Rourke's searing insight and also I want to gently stroke his perineum while he has a shuddering orgasm in my face.
14 days til the election.
50 days til Gabi comes home.
Comments
Please tell me Where can I write to Ben? I share many of his ideas and would like to discuss them in a mature and civil manner.
Holy shit, that was funny.
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ppppfpfpfpfpfpffffhhhhhhhh! hahahahaahahaha!
If I got a decent carer's pension I wouldn't have to let that crazed Ben out to his job as a rat catcher.
As it is he is loose for ten hours a day leaving toxic fumes and the corpses of contorted rodents in the flats of dusky migrants.
Not to mention all that evil slagging off and productivity ruining he does in the Manly Council ATCO out the back of the town hall.
His medication weakens his ability to fight disease so he also keeps infecting his coworkers with this loathesome skin condition so absenteeism is right up.
See, all because I don't get a decent carer's pension. A lousy couple of hundred dollars a week from the government and I could keep him locked up in the cellar and not out there making expensive trouble for the rest of the world.
- daniel (just call me disappointed) treen.
i think we should definitely invite ben to our next left wing feminist f#cked up communist dyke tupperware party, don't you?
see you wednesday, comrade...
Um, that's 'femisist' with an s.
is he cute?
Dollface, as a sometime-reader, I had no idea you had that many special admirers. You are one lucky lady!
Also, maybe you could send a copy of Benji's email to Manly Council. I'm fairly sure it would be against their code of conduct for employees to read seditious lefty blogs on the job. Or send flirtatious letters to the writers of such blogs, for that matter.
how boring, more bleeding heart left wing women, achieving nothing save for the fact that you have managed not to talk about clothes for 5 minutes. honestly do you really think latham is a leader? i would much prefer one of you in charge. this page is clearly not open discussion (posts censored) rather an outlet for your mildy entertaining humor
alex
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