How can one man be so smart?
Normally I wouldn't post about my one secret true love, Andrew Bolt . We are like Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd in Moonlighting . So hot for each other, yet continually butting heads. He's all, 'Dude, you're totally pushing society into an abyss of despair', and I'm all 'Dude, no way!' and then we eye each other off and lunge in for a tongue kiss. Sex.
Anyhow, in today's Herald Scum he's written a column which quotes famous Australians bitching on John Howard and then refutes said quotes with patented Bolty smugness. It's the usual laughably inane business, but this one part slayed me with its sheer genius:
' "He just doesn't like Asians."
- Then Labor frontbencher Craig Emerson.
Nevertheless, Howard knows that the applause of the cultural elite is barely worth having - not because he hates elites, but because he'd have to make deadly compromises to please them.'
While I guess the moment is captured by starting the argument refuting Howard hating Asians with the word :'Nevertheless', there's still more to figure out about Rusty's logic. Firstly - what the fuck point is he trying to make here ? Who are the cultural elite? The Asians? The people who like Asians? Do the people who like Asians applaud like-minded others and Howard doesn't want to buy into that social game-playing?
And what kind of deadly compromises would he be making to 'please them'? Is liking Asians deadly now? This is awful news. I have been feeling poorly of late. I presume it's due to all those Asians I've been having the good times with. Boy is that fraternising going to stop at once!
If anyone can figure out what the hell my sweetheart Andrew is trying to say here, please feel free to make a comment. I am, truly, bewildered.
But still kind of turned on.
1025 days until the next election.
Comments
As always I dunno what he's trying to say, which means Colostomy Lugs and me have at least one thing in common.
What's the bet he broke the 4 minute barrier for that column?
its a classic distraction ploy:
Q: Do you hate Asians?
A: I won't pander to the elite
Q: Were there children overboard?
A: We're going to crack down on terrorism
Q: Have you, in fact, lost the plot completely?
A: Fine, with the chance of a shower later
Leif
Ever heard of the Oozalum bird.
It's the one that flies around in ever decreasing circles until it disappears up it's own fundamental orifice.
Bolt is our very own Oozalum, except he doesn't ever quite manage to disappear. Unfortunately.
OMG. You an Bolty as Cybs and Bruce. I just came, very, very voilently. That is hizzot. *post orgasmic shudder*
Spazmo Fitsy: In that bit you've quoted the Dutch Oven isn't responding to the comment from Emerson. Those "elites" quotes have just been randomly inserted, breaking up what's actually a continuous rant. It's following on from what he wrote above the quote.
Tssch...
Maybe a sub inserted them to give people something worth reading.
===
...he told The Australian's Paul Kelly: "I am scorned by the elites and held in such disdain." Kelly claims he said that "almost proudly". Almost.
Nevertheless, Howard knows that the applause of the cultural elite is barely worth having -- not because he hates elites, but because he'd have to make deadly compromises to please them...
Oh, fuck. That makes SO much more sense. Which is, in itself, a terrifying thing.
Thanks for joining the Bolty dots, o Bucky-one.
I heard a story from a friend who was in Tim Howard's debating team. They were choosing a restaurant for an after match celebration and asked him whether he liked Thai. He'd never eaten Thai, nor Indian, nor Vietnamese, nor any Asian food. He grew up in Wollstonecraft and had never tried Asian food.
I'll add another told by John Brogden, before he became an MP (at age fourteen). In Downer's dying days, Howard was rehabilitating himself for the leadership. He attended a big reconciliation with Sydney's Chinese community - reported everywhere. What wasn't reported was that he excused himself from a conversation with Brogden saying, "I've got to go and charm the chinks."
No no no you've all got it wrong. Bolt uses elite phrases as a form of punctuation. For example:
Journalists have been wrong about Latham eliteswilleatyourbabies Those who said he would be a serious contender against Howard eliteswilleatyourbabies and predicted him to be PM eliteswilleatyourbabies should now be eating humble pie eliteswilleatyourbabies I eliteswilleatyourbabies Andrew Bolt eliteswilleatyourbabies was of course right all along eliteswilleatyourbabies and expect that my verbose op-ed page will start to spread across the left-hand page as well pretty soon eliteswilleatyourbabies et al...
Sorry, meant to sign off northcoteknob! Fits, how bout installing Haloscan??
Leif, you're not, perchance, a John Clarke fan are you?
I went to a ripper of a party on Saturday night. Must have been really good coz I woke up with a very bent mowhawk. Anyway i got chatting to a herald Scum journo who said very nasty things about the Dutch Oven. Wanker, lazy, stupid, dickhead, untouchable, twat, moron, sloppy, misquoter, slow, doesn't understand the legal process, pathetic, arrogant, the ultimate hypocrit, were just some of the words and phrases used.
It's not just the elites that despise him, it's colleagues as well.
PS Ms Fits, If you cut in on Panda re Bolta you will be sorry. Don't forget she has the hots for him also.
i'm pretty sure emerson accompanied the original quote with a sight-gag, rendering any further analysis academic
Did you see the stupid "expose" on begging where the reporter from the Herald-Sun BROKE THE LAW to cover the story? Hopefully they will send out Andrew Bolt to work undercover as a rent boy and he can get bashed by the FUCKNUCKLE BUCK'S PARTY IN MINIBUS LAND (also seen in King St & Flinders Lane)
wield a TISM quote, walk taller
This is my favourite:
""The unkind might say he is the most successful liar in federal political history."
Financial Review writer Laura Tingle
Of course, his critics will say they simply call Howard as they see him -- a lying, small-minded bigot whose blunders cause every catastrophe from global warming to the Bali bombing."
Well, call me a critic.
Hannah
www.twosittingducks.com
E - yeah, he is. He does at least have some good taste.
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