I'm glad I came to the party.
Imagine a sun-soaked beer garden filled with debonair men in white and milky-skinned ladies in revealing frocks...sipping on Pimms and playing badminton...no really. It was. We did. Here is some other stuff that also happened:
- Nadstown did an interstate drive-by!
Standing ovation, polkadots, plunging neckline, booty dancing, Sherriff gobsmacked, resounding success.
I woke up on Sunday with her mad cans pressed into my back and thought: 'How lovely, Nadine slept in my octagonal leather-look bed'. Then I opened my eyes and saw that we were crammed together spooning on the red velvet couch. With dog. It was sapphic and awkward and bad for our posture.
- The ladies kicked it!
It was my idea to have a girl-on-girl dj line-up. You hear me? Mine. And oh jerusalem, it was awesome. From the hotness of Legs Eleven (signature move - two Britli tracks in a row), to The Lawn Wranglers ( Gabi Bikes and Cass RelaxBaby - signature move: rocking the Northern Soul, Vince Peach-style), Briony Vice (signature move: Michael Jackson's 'Thriller') and YWN's Kel and Gen in matching polka-dot dresses (signature move: bitching booty hop with low-slung visors and moody expressions)...it was truly wet. I got to do a set with Gabi that even had Buck Fudd gyrating manfully. Glasses were smashed. People howled primally. 'Roxanne' by the Police made everyone want to fuck. Success!
I have never seen so many good-looking women in the one place. Lee Lee was looking so Sophia Loren it was obscene.
- Is it something in my genetic makeup...
...that makes people want to have naked spa parties with me? 'All back to mine for a jacuzzi!' said beautiful Fluffy . Nadine and I obliged on the proviso that her apartment was staggering distance away. There was, no shit, an in-ground spa nestled in a black-tiled bathroom, Bali candles, oils...it was like something out of the Daily Planet . I have been to the DP once when I had a job for a week delivering Lebanese food, incidentally. Apparently the ladies like it because the garlic fends off any germs they might catch from clients. It's fetching, isn't it?
Anyhow, we got naked and played wholesome games with the bubbles (my Marty Feldman impersonation was killer), then MattyB came and got naked and played guitar for us. Then we had a fiveway. Boy, were there a lot of vaginas! You should have been there!
It's two days later and I'm still hungover.
989 days til the next election.
Comments
Your DJ set was the precedent for the floor carving. Too much fun was had.
I woke up with an afro from all the ‘fake’ curls I created. Not so Sophia then, I can tell you.
you're right of course. i really should have been there.
of course it was your idea for the girl on girl dj set. we all knew that fits.
did you really do 5 tequila's? respect.
Tsch. I'm sorry I didn't mention that you were there, Sugar. And that I stuck my hand down the front of your dress and felt your boobs. And that Sherriff then did the same. And that you then lifted your skirt up around your ears and yelled: 'TOUCH IT! TOUCH IT NOW! HUNGRY GINEY! HUNGRY GINEY!'
meh. WE knew i was there and that's enough.
i believe you greeted my bossom before my face. seems fitting. they do come first after all. gabi also had a good grab.
best photo ever? a mis-aimed head shot of nadine and myself. two serves of boobs on a plate anyone?
I always leave too early!
I have the horrible feeling I was dancing to Cliff Richard's "Wired for Sound". Please correct me. Please.
And, uh, yes, my hangover also is in its second day.
Har Har. Totally forgot about “Wired for Sound”. I believe I even pretended to wear head phones and roller-skates on the dance floor. And yes Buck I danced with you to that song.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fits is an evil DJ. Evil I tells ya.
So annoyed right now with those who at the last minute stuffed things up so much that we couldn't come...
I didn't see any bare boobies at my birthday party and I only "pretend" groped two girls. Wrong wrong wrong. But I got balloons and ice cream cake. I'm having you throw my next birthday party. For schizzle!
I was reading this out loud to Charles (we're sitting up in bed struggling for breath after over-eating at Livebait tonight) but I couldn't get past 'mad cans'.
*laughing too much
*wets pants
You know, the longer you continue to tell tales such as these, the closer the day when I actually believe what I'm reading. And I've only been visiting this blog for a month or two, so I wouldn't like to contemplate what you've already done to your older fans.
Now, somebody stop me before I start lamenting my absence at this fictional orgy.
Harley.
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