I'm sorry, Yumi.
On Friday I went to Sydney to linger in the ABC foyer making passes at Alex Papps. It was here that I ran into pocket rocket spunko Yumi Stynes of Channel V fame. We had met previously, years ago, and shared a mutual friend so made some nice small talk and exchanged outfit compliments before moving on to careers/weather.
Suddenly she said to me:
- Oh, that's right. You got married, didn't you?
- Yes.
- To a musician?
- That's right.
- Are you guys still together?
- Yes, of course.
THIS IS A BLATANT LIE.
We broke up an age ago.
Why was my instinctive reaction to lie to Yumi Stynes?
I guess mostly because I don't really know her that well and the idea of dragging over my relationship break-up in the foyer of the ABC seemed sort of like too much hard work. Of course as soon as I said it I felt bad and could no longer concentrate on anything she was saying, instead thinking to myself: Why did I say that? Now she's going to run into Tim in Melbourne and make some light reference to my marriage only to have him frown and say 'But they split up a year and a half ago' and they'll both think I'm completely in denial and deranged and probably armed with a flick-knife etc.
Obviously I then took the best course of action and BEGAN ATTEMPTING TO BACKTRACK, dropping such pearlers as: 'Well, we are still very close' which isn't a lie at all because we are, but I could see Yumi growing confused and thinking: Wtf, obviously you're close as YOU ARE MARRIED TO EACH OTHER and then I just gave up altogether and performed a few mild shrugs accompanied by some borderline retarded smiling leaving her staring curiously at me in the manner of someone presented with a beautifully wrapped gift containing a dead pigeon and an unopened packet of party poppers.
Of course things only grew worse when Yumi then very openly and frankly shared with me some intensely personal trauma she had experienced in the past year and I felt like the biggest heel on earth, randomly lying about the state of my last relationship and then having to sit with my atrocious behaviour for the remainder of our time together.
I meant well, I really did. I think I was just trying to be time efficient. THAT WILL TEACH ME TO CUT CORNERS.
515 days til the next election.
Comments
who cares about your chat in the ABC foyer, did you get the job presenting Media Watch next season or not?
I think the important question is "why didn't you call me for a beer?" That's the important bit.
But as for Yumi, anyone incapable of doing the polite crouch when walking in front of the screen in a small theaterette screening for critics and industry peoples doesn't deserve the truth.
"Are you still together?"
That is just the rudest question IMO. Even though the reality is the a goodly proportion of marriages fail, surely the polite thing to do is when you hear someone is married assume they will remain that way until they tell you otherwise. (And why is it the smug "still together" people who are always asking the question?)
Don't feel bad for lying to her, she was rude to ask in the first place *folds arms & nods decisively*
YAY for YUMI!
They should have put her and Nym Kim on the updated Movie Show on SBS at it wouldn't have been axed.
isn't the weirdest sensation when you blurt out a lie for no discernible reason? when people ask me, i always lie about what time i got up...
As mskp says, it's something we all do sooner or later, often for no discernable reason. I wouldn't worry about it too much, Fits.
I knew you guys wouldn't last.
i think your nose might have grown slightly on friday night, actually.
or maybe that was just my white wine vision.
..and you are still married and so technically are still "together".
(if one is able to believe anything you say, pinocchio)
That's true, we ARE still married. I WIN ON A TECHNICALITY.
Thank you for easing my conscience, elaine.
p.s. I really hope that's not actually Yumi commenting.
Ha! That could only happen to you.
And possibly to Carrie Bradshaw. (I never watched it, honest.)
Oh, and:
"... leaving her staring curiously at me in the manner of someone presented with a beautifully wrapped gift containing a dead pigeon and an unopened packet of party poppers."
There you go again with your truly enviable ability to turn ordinary words into a magical syrup of delight.
PS - How's Mr Papps? Did you score?
I did a similar thing on the plane on Saturday night. I was chatting to the woman on my left and we discovered that our sons had the same name and she gave me the "Where is he?" question with pantomime searching around the area of the overhead baggage compartment. "Oh he's with his dad"... led to a vague misunderstanding about marital status which I couldn't be bothered correcting. Meh.
I'm with PS. I think it's frigging rude that one asks 'Are you still together?'. It's none of her frigging business.
One more reason to ban small-talk.
It doesn't do anyone any good.
I agree with ps... bit of a rude question to be asking someone on Yumi's behalf. And, as elaine points out, you are still married... shit, does that make my philandering when I was separated wrong? :(
Take the last as a Friday Q&A if you wish.
LOL, i know how that feel, while we were still together people would ask all the time why didn't have kids yet and my ex was very puzzled and annoyed, until they started asking what we 'used' then things got out of control.
Now we're not together anymore and i'm getting all sorts of questions of the different kind. i do wish people would shut up and talk of the weather instead.
Yeah, you really should have said "We are perfectly together, thankyou, each in our own separate ways".
It's nice to know that even the most composed and cool people say weird things they shouldn't at highly inappropriate times.
I just had "I blew cqp" as my word verification.
I wonder who cqp is, and why I don't remember blowing them...
I don't think it was rude of Yumi to ask you. Her wording was probably wrong, but she would have meant well and might have felt as bad afterwards for saying that. Maybe she thinks you got all weird with her because you were insulted at the suggsetion you might not still be together. She is at this very moment also feeling ridiculous at the transpiring of events.
Besides, she's just too darn cute as a button to be rude.
I find it very difficult to lie, but remarkably easy to steal*. I am a half cocked hoodlum.
* FROM FACELESS CORPORATIONS NOT FROM PEOPLE BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE A SIN.
what a blowbag. the question is, "how is he?" and then you say,"he's fine!" as far as you know he is. and then you move on.
at lunch recently, someone I don't see very frequently asked me what size dress I wear.
"Smaller than yours," i think is the appropriate answer to this question
I had a similar event with someone last night, who I used to see, but is now seeing someone else, or had been months ago when I last saw her. And she told me she just bought a house (amazing in itself) and I didn't know whether to go "oh with that guy?"... It's just easier to not ask, is it not.
I finally have a question I think is appropriate for your forum ms fits.
The question is - how do you think kissing came about. I've been thinking about this. It's not an act replicated in the animal kingdom. Or is it? Do monkeys kiss? Cows? Did cave men come up with it, or was it later. Maybe that explains why there were so many beards in ancient times. Maybe kissing wasn't huge back then. Anyway, all those Spartans were doing other things with their mouths.
Actually, maybe that's how it came about. Maybe some cave guy thought "hmm, wonder how it will feel if I stick it her mouth..." and the cave female thought, that's a good idea, what if I did the same, and then somehow the mouths met without genitalia involved...
anyway, I would appreciate your thoughts and theories
An interesting, if disturbing theory I have read is that when women flipped over to be face to face during coitus (a position not common in primates), the male possibly had to force the female a little to accept the new position. He also may have had to stop her calling out for help from this full frontal pervert. With his hands busy holding her down, he used his mouth to cover hers.
Controversial, and completely without evidence one way or the other. Gotta love that.
can't be arsed thinking of a witty sardonic name, it's 2:15 in the fucking morning and my baby's just gone to sleep. I have a favour to ask you......would I be able to get the details of the melbourne times article on blogging that you were featured in? I'm doing a VCE media resource guide assignment thing and it would be ace to cite it. If you could post it on your blog that would be grouse (excuse the bad Australiana) I'm sure Yumi will understand. What happened to your politix label anyway?
Oh Christ, I have no idea what happened to my last smegging post, but may I ask a favour? Would it be possible for you to regurgitate the details of the Melbourne Times Article on blogging U were interviewed 4? If you have them? Please? It would be nice. I had other stuff to say about Yumi and your label and shit but it's really fucking late & I'm over this whole blogging process. Cheers.
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