Inspector Vadget.
This from today's paper, and most pleasing to a girl who accidentally drank an espresso martini right before bed and has thusly barely slept SOMEBODY MAKE THE CAFFEINE PIXIES DISAPPEAR PLEASE KTHX:
'SUSPECT 'FILMED UP 100s OF SKIRTS'
A man arrested for using a camera to look up women's skirts on trams might have filmed hundreds of people over four years, police said yesterday.
The man, in his mid-20's, used one camera hidden in the toe of his shoe and another disguised as a walkman to film his victims.
He was arrested on Monday after filming a woman on a tram bound for the CBD. The woman and her partner complained to police, who found the man on another tram travelling down St. Kilda road.'
Firstly.
If someone wants to see my knickers, they really only have to ask politely. They're underpants, big deal. What's the thrill of sticking a camera up someone's dress to see their gusset anyways? You only get that horrible diamond of pantyhose which looks like a particularly hirsuite burglar creeping in through a bedroom window and doesn't necessarily inspire throbbing lust in anyone under the age of 70.
Secondly!
THE MAN IS A GENIUS.
He had a camera in the toe of his shoe and ANOTHER ONE DISGUISED AS A WALKMAN. Why are we locking him up? He's a Bond-esque inventor who should be given a circular office and access to the nation's best laboratories. So what if he likes watching video of thighs rubbing together on sticky tram seats? WE EACH OF US HAVE OUR CROSS TO BEAR.
Thirdly!
'From the shoe camera, a cord ran inside his trouser leg to a bum bag in which a larger camera was constantly recording.
"He's done a very good job of concealing the camera itself...however, he did have a handheld video camera which he concealed as a Walkman with headphones coming from it, and this is the camera that the victim identified," Senior Constable Benskin said.'
Okay, so maybe he's not as entirely brilliant as I first thought. Basically he just stuck headphones on a camera and prayed no-one would notice.
And no-one did. FOR FOUR YEARS.
Whether this says more about his genius or the plain fact that people are as stupid as ass I'm yet to decide.
296 days til the next election.
Comments
when i first read this story i was convinced it was a certain upskirt enthusiast we both know and love.
in some ways i was disappointed it wasn't.
"Circular office"!
Brilliant.
Yrs etc,
Raylene
Dare to dream, Raylene. Dare to dream.
Hmmm I just watch Scrubs episodes on my iPod video on theway home.
Man am I behind the times!!
thomasr
i got a little frisson when i read the bit about the "hirsute burglar" image re pantyhose sans knickers. i admit to finding the idea of catching a glimpse of that a sweet thought.
i'm reading the catherine millet book, no it's NOT pornography, no no no, merely a rejig of the story of o? i have to say that to my mind i prefer the idea of a bit of voyeurism rather than huge lascivious orgies.
but then i am old-fashioned like that.
People are as stupid as ass.
mm. I suspected as much.
poor ass, always the butt of jokes.
i'll get my coat.
you always have to make a wisecrack, don't you?
Enough of the cheek, you two, or you'll be in a hole lot of trouble.
God you lot are so ass-inine...
Yeah well people... bums... erm, buttocks... I can't think of anything cleverly punnish. Fuck it.
Anyway, what I enjoyed was the way he got caught – the woman had a "sensation she was being filmed". Now I'm fucking impressed – that's some superheroic sixth sense shit she's got going on. Was it all like "uh-oh! upskirt sense tingling! My schmoo must be on camera!"
A woman's special place works in mysterious ways, Dr. Nic.
You're all a bunch of bums, the lot of you.
Boobs
(I just thought I better drop that in because a Miss Fits comments thread always looks...er...naked without a boobs reference)
i have to say... it made me laugh!
GENIUS!
i was gonna post a bunch of great puns but you lot rectum - none cleft for me...
i, too, shall get my coat.
they should have arrested him for wearing a bum bag in the first place.
yeah, the bum bag registered with me too.
SURELY THEY'RE NOT MAKING A FASHION COMEBACK.
These are really scraping the bottom of the barrel
Perhaps he should consider hiring as his defence counsel Rump 'ole of the Bailey?
Of course, his tactic would be to merely skirt the issues, and look for some legal back door
Though, he may get a dressing down by the judge in camera for it
that's where the "hung" jury "comes into it" i guess?
no coat. i just leave...
that's where a :hung" jury "comes into it" i guess.
no coat. i just leave...
No indeed, the jury would be boweled over by his skills defending his client
For he is not just a mere colon the barbecue of justice
His prowess will go down in the anals of legal history
jesus christ.
I wonder if Moon Face will be at the trial?
(Or Doris Day singing I Just Blew In From the Windy City)
no no.
jesus chr-ass-t.
hee
Lets write a script for a mini-series.
I reckon we approach John Howard to play an arse-wipe.
Though the prosecution case seems pretty strong, and may have already rectal his strategic plans
Maybe we could give it a period setting with masters and servants.
Dare I suggest Upskirts and Downstairs?
Anybody want to throw in a Bum-tish!!
And as the credits rise we can all dance away into the distance, cheek-to-cheek.
Ms Fits, sudden idea.
Can you write a short script.
John Howard in the toilet unzipped, running freely and sighing in relief above the trough after a parliamentary piss-up when who should walk in but his old mate Beasley.
Just a thought.
Period setting? I'm sure there's a lot of people who already see John Howard as a bleeding cunt
[stands in comment box like rabbit in headlights, stunned]
[joins her]
la nads, what did you start?
vows never to online pun again.
No puns from me, but I just wanted to highlight this bit of the story:
"We're appealing to any female who believes they have been photographed or filmed by this male," the police said.
Can I be on THAT jury?
"Ms Fits, how do we know you are a reliable witness? Can you prove that it is you in this photograph?"
Even better is the thought that they will publish these photos somewhere and ask women to claim them.
That's the single most flabagasting comments sequence I think I've ever seen!
*amazed that no one's asked for the obvious*
Err, Ms Fits, can we *politely* see your knickers??
Okay, so maybe I'm just not subtle for all this pun-ditry...!
"enough"
"...enough!..."
I meant 'subtle enough' to see err...
*one really must stop 'going visual' when typing one's single entendres*
*ahem* Carry on about your day, citizens *!*
I hope I cop jury duty on this one! I'll be going over the evidence with a fine tooth comb... except for the Brazilians of course :)
Um, what is a circular office? I don't get it. Honest.
Damn! Someone finally caught me.
This whole thread is nothing but a big load of punani!
After scanning this commentary, it's now not surprising to learn that Slick Willy enjoyed his time in the Oval Office.
I'll get my goat.
That poor sod. If only he were a leg man like me. It's all out there for anyone to see and film.
This guy is really lucky he didn't get caught by a -gusset- of wind.
Dearest Pun_isher, cunts are useful and dandy things- bleeding is also useful and important. John Howard is not.
Ms Fits., I do not know if it is the panadeine forte I took for my ailing tooth, or the subsequence half bottle of crap Yellow wine I consumed when the before mentioned pills didn't work , but I found your comments about everybody's fave (or not) drug fucked wanker Pete Doherty doin relationship counselling before pissing off with one's i-pod side splittingly funny in today's TV guide. There is some guy on TV talking about his cervix I think. Being 'some guy' I am fairly certain hed doesn't actually have one.
i apologise for running with nads' pun. i have learned my lesson*.
*has not learned lesson, but will think carefully before punning again.
Remember, anywhere something punny is needed, any time "normal" commentary is reduced to banal wordplay, I will be there.
Watching.
Waiting.
Looking for some pun.
For I am The Pun_isher
Comments are closed.