IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING.
Yesterday I was walking down Johnston street wearing the kind of dreamy expression on my face that halfwits do when they're thinking about eating a whole roast chicken and resisting the urge to break into an acapella rendition of Bryan Adams' 'Run To You', when a well-dressed young woman raced up behind me and grabbed me by the shoulder.
Fashionable lady: (catching breath from sprint) Excuse me, sorry to bother you...
Me: Not at all.
Fashionable lady: I was just wondering if you'd like to come and do some modelling.
Me: ......
Fashionable lady: I work at the hair academy there and we saw you go past the window and we wanted to know if you were interested in being a hair model for us.
Me: ....okay, sure.
Fashionable lady: Great! If you've got a second I'll just take you into the office and grab your details.
Me: Right you are then.
(In salon)
Fashionable lady: Here she is, Frank.
Italian hairdresser man: There you are! Mina chased you down the street, yes? Now let me look at you.
*reaches out to run fingers through my hair*
Italian hairdresser man: You like to wear your hair long, yes?
Me: Yeah, I guess.
Italian hairdresser man: Well, we won't cut it if you don't want us to. We can just colour and style, make some fashion. Have you got the time if we give you a call to come and model for us?
Me: Depending on my schedule, sure.
Italian hairdresser man: Marvellous. Mina, take her to the office and get a photograph.
Fashionable lady: Okay, Frank.
(confidentially) You know, he was the one who asked me to chase you. Then I bring you in and he pretends it was my idea. He does that all the time.
(In office)
Fashionable lady: This is Sophie, she'll take your details and grab a photo of you.
Bright young thing: Hi! Could you just stand up against that wall there so I can get a headshot?
Me: Don't you want me to take my hat off?
Bright young thing: No, this should be fine. Look right into the camera...smile...
*takes photo*
Bright young thing: Great! This is soooo exciting! I'll get your name and number so we can get this happening!
**********
I was back out on the street within about three minutes and wondering WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAD JUST OCCURRED.
Honestly. I'm 31 years old, I get a haircut once every three years and - I believe it's quite safe to say - my days of being uncovered by modelling scouts and lauded as the next exotic thing in superstardom have somewhat passed me by.
Still.
*dreams of a brighter tomorrow*
125 days til the next election.
Comments
Ahhhh the Helicopter Weave: both understated and fuctional.
BE CAREFUL! i have known a number of people to be stopped on the street and asked to be "hair models" for quite respectable hair salons here in brisbane.... they say they won't cut much off your hair, if you don't want them to, but as soon as you're in the chair they get pushy and HACK HACK HACK!
one friend got the whole deal- before photo and after photos, and she ended up with a shaved patch and blue streaks! and more than a few people have ended up in tears when their mid-back length hair ended up barely touching their shoulders.
that said, its free, so why the hell not! do something funky with your hair!
They also take your kidney, liver and give you syphilis.
They can also nullify the magnetic strip on your credit card.
Don't say you weren't warned!
thomasr
I've always wanted to be grabbed by one of the BIBA girls saying they wanted to "do" me.
I know these Academy hair scientists you speak of. Having dated a hair scientist in another life. I will try and give you some idea of what to expect from the fourth coming experiment.
The Italian man you speak of, Count Francou, will charm you with his scissors wit, lulling you into a agreeable zombie like trance stare .I’m actually surprised your not stopped in the street more often.I intended to ask you to be a hair model when I bumped into you, but it looks like this idea has now been taken.
Be prepared for a mobbing like pluggers when he kicked 16 straight against Fitzroy in 85.The white coats will surround you in a murmur ,your hair will groped and smelt and maybe even tasted. Count Francou will laugh his wicked laugh, and igor will appear from the broom cupboard and sweep the floor when it is over, pocketing some of your hair when he thinks no one is looking.
When you come to your locks will be changed forever and will take the last half of the year to recover. But you wear your hair well, so you will still be able to skip and sing and look pretty, with your candy songs
Hope this puts your mind at ease
KR
Captain
What an inventive new way of getting an attractive young lady's name, telephone number and photograph!
(Although I'm sure the running his fingers through your hair was COMPLETELY ABOVE-BOARD...)
WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE IMPLYING ABOUT MY NEW ABOVE-BOARD CAREER AS A GLAMOUR-GIRL?
i bet that i a real, working helicopter, sometimes captained by a chipmunk summoned by the girl when she doesn't feel like walking to the shops.
I'm completely freaking jealous. Then again: http://theslapperprincess.blogspot.com/
"the fourth coming experiment"?
the fourth? coming experiment??
oh my.
I think Plugger kicked that 16 straight later on in his Syderney days.
Now look. I’m starting to get a bit concerned about Ms Fit’s psychological and emotional wellbeing.
First, out of the blue she spits the dummy and bans me from RYWHM over a post on my own blog.
Then, she suddenly unbans me and lets me put up a few quite nasty comments.
And today, Thursday, she bans me again when I put up quite a mild post in response to what even she’ll admit was an incredibly wankerish and self-indulgent offering of her own.
I think she might have weevilry of the brain pan. I’m calling the cops for a welfare check.
I find it a little odd that someone with the aroma of fame that Miss Fits has can still be 'discovered'... Still, i'm sure he's not in the least bit creepy :) Grats you!
Ms Fits,
Can you get your hair done like that for tuesday book club?
that would be killer.
This post has been removed by the author.
Jesus, don’t you just hate hypocrites? Fits is such a fucking hypocrite that she deserves a new word to be coined in her honour.
Fitocrite. Fits is a fucking Fitocrite.
I’ve just been reading some of her old blogs, from the days when no one knew who she was.
Sweet Christ almighty, what a nasty, vicious, spiteful, self-centered, egomaniacal self-aggrandising little bitch she was before she entered the mainstream and Bolt blew the whistle on her.
Now she has the nerve to censor me when I put up some mild criticism of her useless, self-absorbed existence.
You morons are slobbering and jerking off over a total fucking Fitocrite. Sad, dumb wankers.
Previous post deleted for technical reasons. I'm a perfectionist.
The last two posts are a very very strong argument for gun control.
What a nut
Brokenbrain more like. Wanker. Learn to spell you idiot fuck.
'Nana Miskouri'
What a colostomy bag.
MAKE SOME FASHION
A hairdressing salon did that once to me in GRAFTON! I was so sure I was gorgeous and my hair was obviously extra special... I said of course. They cut and styled my hair (not quite as mad as the picture but... close real close)and I attended a "contest" and came third... my stylist was.. visably unhappy!
They promised to "fix" it when they had finished.
But I suddenly got old! Oh well! My ex described the do as,,,, you look like a cockatoo mated with an octopus.
And he was probably being kind.
I was sure I looked beautiful! After all they said so and they picked me!
Nuttier than squirrel shit.
"Most women will sleep with you if you ask them nicely."
not you they won't, you pointless fucksplash.
oooh 'citing! I spent many a day in BIBA in my student life. A word of warning - don't plan ANYTHING ELSE that day. They take HOURS and hours and hours and hours. My shortest visit from memory had me in at 10 and out at 5 with 3 inches less hair and a multitude of colours and stripes which were all really quite fabulous at the time. Overall a great experience if time is of no value to you.....
Oh fits how exciting. I've been in a few hair-shows, it's a great way to get a free cut and colour for not much work. You can see the results of my 'do' here
at my blog
Bare in mind if you go to look at these that naturally I have the straightest, thinnest hair ever, my hairdresser is a genius. Also hair shows are wonderfully tacky and I'm sure would provide much fuel for your various scribblings. Have fun!
Pathetic, drooling suburban shit-eaters. What a pitiful bunch of big brother watching sanitary pads. You are the future? god spare us all.
11.30. I assume you are referring to the hair on your ape-like arse?
MAKE SOME FASHION!
Having been through the harrowing ordeal of a 'free' BIBA cut before, I'd also agree there's always a price to be paid. Particularly if you like your hair long.
But, I'm not surprised you got picked off the street. You do look pretty hot. Maybe I'm just a sucker for dark haired waifs with pretty faces.
Let me know if you ever need a stalker. It's been a while, but I'd be happy to brush up on my technique. ;)
DR
Oh man, I hate it when model scouts chase me down the street... Oh wait no, those are charity muggers.
THIS POST WAS CUT AND PASTE FROM MIKEEDS BLOG THAT HE HIMSELF WROTE ON MONDAY.
WHAT A LITTLE FUCKER!!!!!
BUT HERE IT IS EXPOSED !!!!
Hi there Doc, finally managed to get up at a decent hour.
Pleased that you get some amusement from my little experiment.
I have a confession, however. I started this thing as an exercise in self-promotion for my comic book and artwork, which will be launched and exhibited towards the end of the year.
It all started when I wrote that first Ms Fits story, and spiraled away from there.
The odd thing is that I really don't have any particular feelings about Fits one way or the other.
She just reminded me of the sort of people who drove me out of St Kilda, and she is obviously equipped with a very thick skin, so I thought well why not?
It is a bit of fun, but I have the sense that a small but growing cult is developing around this, and I'm not sure how I feel about being notorious as the Mad Blogger.
I feel quite strange about provoking people to the extent that I do.
I'm actually quite a meek and mild sort, believe it or not. A bit Ben Eltonish.
It has coincided with a very great lethargy I've experienced over the last few weeks.
I think I'll probably run out of steam quite soon, if for no other reason than it is chewing up a bit too much time.
What sort of publishing are you into?
15 July 2007 17:09
WELL WELL...........
SELF PROMOTION ??????
PATHETIC!!!!
PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IS YOU EVER SEE HIM HERE AGAIN
XX
Please to not be doing anything to that hair. Steel wool, grey streaked, sex smelling bird's nest that it is, makes you the sexy as all hell woman that you are.
Honestly.
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