Mild amusings.
Five things that aren't as funny as you think they are:
1. Quoting from The Simpsons.
It's a very clever series, yes, and we've all come of age watching it and learned many things about comedy along the way and wasn't it funny when Ralph Wiggum said that his cat's breath smelled like cat's food, POLLYROFL. But please spare us from punctuating social gatherings with Homer-isms as they just make companions want to lunge at you with a knife.
Also falling into this category is attempting to sound like Cartman from South Park. NO-ONE CAN SUCCESSFULLY DO THIS IMPERSONATION, PLEASE LEARN FROM THE FAILURE OF OTHERS.
2. Long-held private jokes between you and your group of friends.
Particularly when shouted across already noisy pubs in a sing-songy voice, or chanted loudly whilst breakfasting at a cafe. Please note: I am unbearably guilty of both of these crimes as I believe the universe to revolve around myself and my beloveds.
3. Britney Spears.
She was definitely amusing for a while, marrying braid-head and getting stoned and stuff. But I just can't keep making jokes about her when the dear young thing is obviously highly strung and losing her mind. Perhaps I can just relate to the occasional leaping on a convenient table and claiming to be the Antichrist, WHO AMONG US HASN'T HAD THE OCCASIONAL TROUBLED AFTERNOON I ASK YOU.
4. Your parents/uncles.
They really are sweet when they're at 'that age', and provide you with an endless supply of comedic material to share at dinner tables and soirees. Just remember: when you're about to launch into the umpteenth rolly-eyed story about how your father likes to scare visitors by pulling his pants up to his armpits and leaping into the room Mr. Bean-style, everyone else has equally adorable anecdotes about their own old man and will feel obliged to join in, leading what might have been an interesting meeting of creative minds over a beetroot risotto down a path of genial fucking one upmanship and vacuous small talk.
It's true, you know.
5. John Howard making a complete hash of it.
It is fascinating - absolutely fascinating - to watch such a brilliant, cunning politician find himself in unfamiliar territory and start floundering so profusely. Attempting to 'play the man' by bringing Kevin's character into disrepute has backfired spectacularly and cost him a minister as well as precious poll percentages. Why it's not funny: a week is a long time in politics, and while we on the Left may for the moment quietly enjoy headlines about the ALP 'romping' it in were there to be an election tomorrow, the fact of the matter is those vicious fuckwads will have something heinous up their sleeve and will be employing it at their earliest convenience so we mustn't laugh at John Howard's private pain and anguish, we mustn't, we mustn't.
Oh, alright then. Just a small fucking chuckle or two.
242 days til the next election.
Comments
Agreed. But nothing can stop me doing Nos 2 & 5.
Also, when will people realise that high-fives haven't been fun since we thought Dennis Rodman was cool?
The Libs are now making noises about returning to the usual "economic management credentials" line, so it appears that normal service is about to be resumed. Expect to see references to interest rates under Keating returning any time now.
Still, it was fun seeing them looking all panicked and desperate for a while there wasn't it ? Bet Ian Campbell's appreciating the joke as well.
Yeah, I saw some of that 'but they're bad with money' shit this morning. Yawn.
It does feel different this time, but let's see how things look in early September..
Curious: what does the POLLY in POLLYROFL stand for?
I'm a simple, simple mand
I'm really not sure, Anon - my friend Gen made it up and I wanted to take all the credit as I think it's clever.
Plenty Of Loud Laughter Yeah?
You're always banging one about your parents. And every other fucking thing.
That's because I don't get out much, Anon #2. And 'banging one' is what I do best, however unfortunate it may be.
fits.
did you have a listen to earl greyhound?
1. Pfffh. To you, madam, I say, 'Saxomophone...saxomophone.'
2. Grudgingly, yes.
3. Who?
4. How can you tell us an anecdote about that mother whose dildo was modelled on Mike Tyson's forearm and then this? Admittedly, that anecdote is the Everest of 'guess what my mum/ sister's lover/ family dog does that's uber-wrong'.
5. No, Howard's like a full-back who has played past his prime and can't work out why the ball keeps sailing over his head. Even if they get re-elected, surely it'll be without a senate majority? Surely?
nugget
My friend Andrew feels the same way about Austin Powers quotes. He thinks that are wrong for they give unfunny people the impression that they are funny.
No Simpsons quotes? In that case my brother and I would have nothing to say to each other. NOTHING!
Also: POLLYROFL: please explain
Anon, I give you a wrapper designed by an '80s primary school student choking on Redskins: Pollywaffle
Dear Miss Fist,
Just because you read something in the Aged doesn't make it true.
Yours sincerely,
a normal person.
*aghast*
What next? If we ban Simpson's quotes, how long before the jackbooted PC thugs(tm)/ fashion police/ Kewly Mc Cools get it in their heads to ban the nicking of Monty Python jokes. Okay fine they ain't funny nomore either, but yeesh -
Can't we ever just be plain uncool 'tards when we desire?
(note plaintive cry of despair. Or possibly acid reflux)
I demand the right to remain uncool and not-as-funny-as-I-thin-
Err...
Does regurgitating Monty Python-isms come under this heading too?
Number 6. Internet Slang: LOL, ROFL, etc... (POLLYROFL has been around for a while, by the way).
Does regurgitating Monty Python-isms come under this heading too?
Oh yes indeed it does. Slightly geeky private school guys at Flinders Street/on trams/roaming Burke St - neither the Ministry of Silly Walks or the Dead Parrot sketch are funny to re-enact in public. Really, they aren't.
And no - your fucking hovercraft is not full of eels. Asshat.
1) There will always be a time and place for Simpsons quotes/Homerisms. The true genius is in knowing when they are appropriate and when they are just gratuitous attempts at undergraduate coolness.
2) I'll take the Cartman challenge ANYDAY.
3) As far as Howard goes, maybe the electorate is saying to itself; "me thinks they doth protest too much". Suffice to say, since interest rates have gone up under Howard - after telling us all that his government would make sure that they wouldn't at the last election, and Hicks/Iraq, the Libs dirt unit would need to produce compromising photos of Tintin in various states of undress with a range of farm animals on a secluded property somwehere near Gympie to change the perception of Ruddmeister.
I'm tipping Howard to start talking about "retirement" or "passing on the torch" by approximately May - unless the farm animals photo's can be produced - and even then, they'll be photoshopped...
Are you serious?
I can't believe it.
On the site supplied by Yubris, 20 packets of regular tim-tams cost $167 at the current exchange rate.
PS Not a joke but an observation: The redneck family on the Simpsons have a kid called Britney which the video you have linked to recalls.
God bless her I say, for it can't have been easy growing up as a mouse.
As popular as your blog is, I can't imagine that 5,556,936 + 1 people have been privy to your drunken foibles.
Rub it in why don't you?
Funny, I was thinking almost the exact same thing about Howard last night after watching Jeff McMullen's quite balanced debate on Iraq and shit. My bad feeling was that just when everything is looking sweet, something blows up somewhere and Johnny is back in town, baby!
you know they have the internet on computers now?
I think I just logged on to my internet.
Is this because I was drunk on Friday and all my speech was composed of Simpsonian homage?
It occurred to me that this federal election will be the first shot at the polling booth to choose the kids in big school for new voters who haven't even been around as long as the Simpsons. This concerns me, but I'm not sure exactly why.
Also, my word verification, (which increasingly frustrates me) is "narxnoc". It sounds like a chemical dependency blocker for addicted persons.
Can I also add to the list any photo of a retarded animal with a "pithy and amusing" sentence written on it. Truly people – the cat macro is dead.
I'm sure J-Ho's praying for GW to attack Iran so a flood of the right kind of scary brown people start floating our way in a few months time. Sri Lankans aren't much use.
I'll add a couple:
joke emails, 99.99 recurring aren't very funy, or not funny at all. just leave it.
mullett cuts, funny 10 years ago, not now
ads, even the rare funny ones aren't funny more than once. And if they are selling a fucked product they aren't funny at all.
Kath and Kim isnt funny either. It just isnt.
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