Mission: Sacrilegious.
HEY!You are nineteen years old and heady with the pulsing hotness of youth. You're at a party and have most certainly been 'partaking'. You are quite the fan of Satan/Our Dark Lord. WHY NOT BURN DOWN A MOTHERCHUCKING CHURCH?
It will pass the time and you might find it exciting. Shush, though - no-one must find out your thrilling scheme!
WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOU ARE LEAVING THE PARTY?
A. 'Toodle pip, all. Just off to visit my ailing Nonna. Perhaps I shall administer some ointment to her bedsores, P.S. I DON'T MUCH CARE FOR SATAN.'
B. 'Ciao, bitches. Anyone want anything from 7-11? I'll be back in five with french onion dip.'
C. 'Bye, I'm going to burn down the church.'
D. 'Arrivederci. Sto andando via adorare Jesus. È fantastico!'
OH NO! YOU'VE BEEN SPRUNG!
Bad luck, kidlette. But wait! The judge rather likes your long shiny hair and might be persuaded to give you another chance if you eat some Jesus pie!
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THE JUDGE?
A. 'Jesus? Right on, man!'
B. 'After all that we’ve been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to.'
C. 'I haven't chosen the direction of remorse yet.'
D. 'Please Hammer don't hurt 'em (me).'
Mostly C's? Then you must be this rather dim bulb.
Some people just need to learn things the hard way.
776 days til the next election.
Comments
What a divine post.
That kid seems so screwed up, he probably doesn't even know which deities.
Were I religiously inclined, (which I'm not), advent my spleen about this on talkback radio. Instead I'm just wondering how pharisees from the remand centre window.
3:16 pm! How appropriate.
My aunt lives right across the road from the Church, she said the next day she couldn't get out of her street becuase all the parishoners had formed a big "circle of love" and had blocked cars from getting past....
Goodness! I see that RYWHM has fallen pray to pundemonium.
I'm sorry, Mistress Fits. I couldn't help myself x
You shouldn't apologise, Fits should say tank you
You shouldn't apologise, Fits should satan-k you
(the devil was in the detail)
-"Norwegian band Burzum"-
Burzum????
Worst named bands in history, top 5? He could have chosen something with a name like Opeth or Dark Throne to accompany his moment of publicity. Burzum sounds like an electronic laxative.
He had to be inspired by the music. Being drunk, from St Albans and stupid can't be enough to explain drunken, stupid, bogan behaviour.
Dear Fits,
LOL 'not into Satan' --> such a good diversion!! 'Why would he ever burn a Church, didn't you hear him etc'.
I enjoyed reading about this Story. Please make more, when will you make more. Are you making more right now.
Kind Regards,
IOYC Clap Ya Hands, Clap Clap Ya Hands
And after all that's been said and done, you're just a part of me I can't let go.
Great post Ms Fits.
Considering that Nordic Black Metal's period of glory was in the early to mid 90s, this kid has been a bit slow in thumbing a ride on the band-wagon...
It never got better than Bolt Thrower's anti war epic Cenotaph.
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