More things about a night at the strips.
On Friday night me and mine went to the Men's Gallery . It was a charming evening. Here are a few things that happened:
- Tequila!
A lot of it. So much, in fact, that the bar ran out of lemon and salt . Which should give you some idea of the emotional states behind the following incidents.
- Ten person lap dance!
At the Men's Gallery, they have an hourly ten person lap dance. This involves ten chairs being dragged up onto the stage, ten blokes dibsing a chair each and ten 'ladies' sauntering out and performing a one-on-one sexy routine. I guess it's good if you're hunting for a bargain and you cop a free dance. But the downside is that you're onstage being gawked at by an entire room of people - including your close friends, who will instantly and mockingly impersonate your come-hither facial expression the minute you step off-stage.
Both Gabi and MattyB partook in the ten-folk ho-down. MattyB sat himself low on the chair and oozed raw, unbridled sexuality. Gabi grinned like a grade 2 with a gold star and waved at us from between the stripper's legs.
- Forbidden!
Some things you are not allowed to do at the Men's Gallery:
1. Wear sneakers.
2. Take photos*.
3. Text message your friends. 'Because the girls are paranoid about camera phones'.
4. Shout.
*This one was learnt the hard way when I took a photo on my digital camera and was forced to show one of the bouncers my entire memory stick of pictures, including one that MattyB had taken up my skirt.
- Attention to detail!
I walked into the Ladies to do a wee and was confronted by the sight of a be-wigged blonde stripper on the toilet.
'NICE DRESS!' she shouted at me. I thanked her and went into my cubicle, expecting that our brief conversation was complete. Then I heard her outside the door yelling: 'WHERE'D YA GET IT?'. Then I opened the door to answer. Then I saw her with her knee up on the sinks, blithely spreading her bum cheeks open and washing her arse with soap.
Then I closed the door rather fast.
- Trouble!
I have no idea what Gen was up to throughout the course of the night. Remember, a lot of tequila had been consumed. All I remember is Gabi and I searching for her at about two in the morning only to spot her being FROGMARCHED OUT OF THE BUILDING BY A FURIOUS BOUNCER.
Yes, Genevieve was turfed out of the strips. We don't know why. She can't remember.
Any of you lot got an idea what a charming young rock n roll lass might have done to be so unceremoniously ejected from such an upstanding establishment?
905 days til the next election.
Comments
sinners.
the lot of you.
Touched the strippers?
I did consider that. But she seemed more interested in the male crowd IF YOU GET MY DRIFT.
Decided to *be* a stripper? Am I in your drift?
Well, upon one occasion a couple of years back where a bunch of us from work all went to said venue, similar results transpired (well kinda)... cynical chick (think Enid from Ghost World) sat there being cynical and detached, chirpy christian girl freaked out just inside the door and went home, Maltese Photographer man did his, well, thing.. overly-excitable-nerdy-suburban-guy was like an eight year old in a Chocolate-Lego-McDonalds-Helicopter... and two of our group got turfed out fairly promptly.. for shagging in the toilets.
Though shagging in the toilets (you'd at least hope) you'd remember.
I was at Goldfingers for a bucks night a couple of years ago and overheard a mobile conversation in the toilets that went a bit like this:
"Yeah, I'm just at the strippers. Might go down to the Depot later and see if I can pull a slut. Hey, did you get Mum some flowers for Mothers' Day? You little bastard. How could you forget your own mother?"
Huh.
Oh, and I vote Gabi whipped out the nunchucks.
why are you so unclassy in every post you make?
I believe it's because I'm quite an unclassy broad.
Why would you bother reading since you're clearly finding it pants-wettingly offensive?
Here, here, Anonymous. I have long proclaimed this vapid leftist floozy 'unclassy'.
Like a snarling rabid hound chewing over the bones of society's morals while the pinko glitterati cheer mindlessly and throw chunks of hate-filled Pal in her Bob Brown-approved bowl, Ms Fits is both frightening and utterly dangerous.
Stay strong, righteous and brave Anonymous commenter.
Unclassy?
Such a word could only spew from the mouth of an intelligent, educated and slightly hoity mince.
*scratches balls whilst picking nose*
*then has a schwank*
*adam's apples it*
I'm thinking she did something untoward involving a tequila bottle and a camera phone.
I only read you for the unclassitude!
i don't think you're unclassy in EVERY post you "make".
remember there was the one about the...oh no...well how bout the one with the...fuck...um...help please?
*wishes she'd stayed out of it*
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Hey Lori! Comment spam, eh? Silly bitch.
What...the...fuck?
Fits, are you getting spammed in your blog?
And where did you get your dress?
Kittens in Cecil St South Melbourne (off City Rd south of the casino), comes highly recommended if you want a more friendly place that allows touching. I've only been to the one in Caulfield South, but I think the dancers would put their tit in your mouth during a private dance here also (the private dance room is really small in Caulfield, so you end up tripping over legs and arms.)
She tried to bot some tramadol from a chick called Lori.
- barista
Sad and pathetic. Delusional girl, you can't call yourself a feminist if this is the sort of degrading exploitation you think is funny.
Andrew bolt is a total prat but I reckon even he would draw the line abouve getting cheap laughs from such extreme dehumanising of females
Dear my old pal Anon -
1. I do not call myself a feminist.
2. Andrew Bolt is not a prat. He is hot.
Warm regards
Fits. x
no, I suppose not, but you call yourself a left-winger, don't you. Isn't that meant to be socially progressive, not socially retarded in every possible way?
No progression here, I'm afraid. Merely ill-informed rantings, as clearly stated in the blog's sub-title.
And hey! Here's a novel thought. If it makes you so very cross, how about going elsewhere?
xx Fits.
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