Murder, Marry, Fight, Fuck - Juniors!
A comment from the lovely nadine reminded me that it's been a while since we played the game that's sweeping the nation - Murder, Marry, Fight, Fuck . And after seeing that hot picture of Tim Howard, I figured that we should maybe consider a version with the children of politicians because, you know, they're closer to our age which makes it all the more hideous and morally wrong. And possible. Totally, totally possible. Ready to play?
I'm getting wet already. Here goes.
MURDER:
Definitely Tim Howard. If only to wipe that shit-eating grin off his face. Incidentally, I've never understood the term 'shit-eating grin'. Why, if someone ate shit, would they be grinning? I mean, maybe if they were a fecophiliac - which I can totally imagine Tim Howard being, by the way - I would understand. But to me, 'pussy-eating grin' is more fitting. Then again, imagine Tim Howard eating pussy. Ew. Now imagine him eating Bronwyn Bishop's pussy. Now imagine that she's got a feminine itch. ARE YOU HOT YET?
I digress. I would murder Tim Howard because I want his fuckpole of a father to know what it feels like for the parents who sent their kids off to die in Iraq. Do you see what I did there? I turned a glib potty-mouth post into a searing political statement. You can use that if you want.
MARRY:
Easy. I would marry Mark Latham's boy Oliver (he's the one in the middle of that family pic...grrr). And not just to get me 'in' with the Latham family. Also because Oliver has shown a bit of spunk with the whole open-air pissing, give-a-fucking-shit attitude. Sure, he's twenty-five years younger than me. But that means when I'm fifty I get to have a hot punk to fan me and rub oil into my withered bosoms. Or alternatively I could just go him now and risk getting arrested. Either way.
FIGHT:
That fucking Angela Bishop is going down. I would love to smash her in the face with a mallet. Repeatedly. That would feel better even than a hickey from Bob Ellis.
FUCK:
Ugh. Which means I have to fuck Anus Kennett.
I guess if you're going to get sexy with the idiot son of a wifebeater it may as well be with a male model. I'll totally be closing my eyes and imagining Oliver, though.
Wrong post over for now.
24 days to go.
Comments
Okay...
Murder:Kennett Jr. Look at him. It'd be a mercy killing.
Marry:Howard's spawn. It'd totally fuck the old guy up, being a same sex marriage and everything.
Fight:I'd punch on with Latham. No hostilities, I'm just curious to see who'd win.
Fuck:The namedropper. But I'd fuck her anally and without lubrication, then take photos and put them on the internet, so hopefully everyone she interviews from then on has seen her rectum inside out.
"And here we have my good friend Tom Cruise to tell us about his new movie..."
"Yes, it's great, a moving story of one mans journey to go on a journey... Hey aren't you that pinksock chick?"
Another reason to thump Master Howard:
"The Australian Prime Minister has been personally funding the sending of political spam to the members of his electorate. The spam has been sent under contract by his son's company of whom he is 'very proud.' Political Spam is permitted under Australian Spam Legislation."
slashdot articlePride comes before a fall, Johnny. Now that I think about it, (and how!), fucking him with a bursting, oversized 'spam enhanced' member might be a more appropriate outcome.
My sister "accidentally" knocked Angela Bishop flying at the Palace one night. Ms Bishop responded with a nasty.."I'll get you for that."
We were waiting for her and the boyz outside afterwards but the rumble was not to be.
oooh yuk. Remember Ann Peacock? I think she was last seen writing a column for new idea or soemthing. she's totally murderable.
MURDER: Angela Bishop, once Ms Fits then Dave have finished with her.
MARRY: Angus Kennett: It would get me within spitting, kicking and hammer-and-stake distance of Jeff. Saw him on TV the other night, bothering a depressed person. It's like he has to hang around and drink in the suffering he caused, like a serial killer. Marrying the vampire's spawn is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
FIGHT: Oliver. Because I can't fuck him. Not even hypothetically, not even as a grown up (pale, freckly bloodnuts aren't for me, I'm afraid).
FUCK: Timothy (I'm sure they called him "Timothy" until he was at least 19). As Dave said, it would mess with Pater's head, but more so...
PS: Listened to Best of the Brat last night, for the first time in a while, so now I've got the new, improved RYWHM with built in "Voice In My Head" function. It's very choice...
I think you should wait until you are 35 and then go for lil Oliver. It'd be like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher (Oh, sorry, you probably don't know who they are) I guess I'll just wait until I know what the blazes I'm talking about.
1) Because I am ignorant and foreign. Ummm... Canadian, yeah, that's what I am. So can somebody tell me what Howard lied about so I sound smart if say for example I were at a Roller Derby talking to some Australian dancers and I wanted to sound smart and politically informed.
2) Shit eating grin I believe refers to the phony I'll do anything to make you like me attitude that is so incredibly fake to the point that you want the person to eat shit. The fact that they're smiling and possibly happy fills you with rage. Sort of like that cock-sucking bastard. Or that goat-raped whorebag. I could be wrong, but that's what my Latin teacher always told us in High School.
Have a super day.
It's not just one inconsequential lie like "I did not have sexual relations with that woman," it's a gigantic pile of lies that have lead to us going to war in Iraq, locking up children in detention centres, having a GST, all sorts of stuff.
http://www.johnhowardlies.com/ keeps track of most of them.
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