Reasons you will hate me

I lost mine at a Ramones gig a few years ago. I thought I had found it behind the port-a-loos, but it was somebody else's.

You could always get one at Cash Converters if you are feeling a bit left out.

don't worry Ms Fits, replacements are only $6 each (so people have been known to buy one for each suit so that they don't damage their Zengas by taking them in and out of the lapels.

The obvious plan of action is to flirt outragiously with someone who has one and then steal it when they're not looking but leave $6 in a pocket of theirs so that they can get a replacement.

you can have mine, fits. i don't use it much these days.

I made a sandwich out of mine: Turkish bread, spinach leaves, chargrilled capsicum, horseradish, Order of Australia medal.

It was a particularly fine sandwich, as I remember.

Maybe I'm missing something, but that doesn't sound like a very fine sandwich to me.



Its common knowledge that Victoria Cross medals make much better sandwiches.

You people are terribly cruel.



What exactly do I have to do to land myself one, anyway? Does it involve tribbing?

"What exactly do I have to do to land myself one, anyway? Does it involve tribbing?"

I thought it involved being either A) terribly good at some kind of sport, or B) terribly old. As I know you're not B), dear, is there some secret mastery of hurling, cheese rolling or worm charming that you're hiding under a bushel and not telling us about?

to change the subject completely (inspired by marmalade, thx) - one of the girls i work with, mary, is friendly with mandarine orchard owner types and this time every year mary sells a heap of their produce at work. i bought a box, made some marmalade and brought a jar of it in to share with all and sundry. i told mary that there was a jar of mandarine marmalade in the fridge and that she should help herself and she responded with "oh. you can make marmalade with mandarines? i thought marmalade was a fruit"..........WTF?

of course the marmalade would've been 10x better if i'd thrown in my order of australia medal.

Nice tie-in back to the subject of discussion there, Anon.

So...can I get an address to send this videotape to? I'll throw in one of my spare OA medals.

wow... marmalade is made from mandarins??? who would've thought. not me, for sure.

I use mine as a coaster... it beats the hell out of dead CDs anyway, yeah that's right - I am that classy!

You could command an infantry battalion, Fits. That'll generally get one a "member", eh?

Hehe, "member".

Oh the hell with it. I just can't give up Fits. Fits, why don't you do a nice little poo on a baking tray and pop it into the oven and roast it at 180 degrees for forty five minutes, or until golden. Than you can carve your OAM out of it and eat it with some banana and kiwifruit marmalade, washed down with a litre of 45 South vodka, and store the leftovers in your excellent little bottom in case you want to award yourself the George Cross for helping a kitten out of a disused toilet in the Edinburgh Gardens. Sorry, mikeed1313AAW; I tried, lord, how I did try.

Hi Ms Fits - I trust you are keeping well.

Delightful.

I just wanted to let know that either you've mistyped the link for 'The Basics' of you're a die-hard fan of an unknown band from Scotland...

If it's Melbourne's own rockin' gotye-side project you're after, you want http://www.myspace.com/the3basics (the 3 being the missing link in this riddle)

Yops!

Andy

Ooh ooh! Both my grandparents have OAM's and my Granny has an AO as well!

Granny rocks.

(word verification: jjrat - my new gansta name)

My Order of Australia medal says "Member of The Phantom Phan Klub" on it.

I really wish you hadn't mentioned tribbing, because it reminded me of penetrative docking, and I still can't figure out just how that works.

The best thing about this story is finding out that Margaret Fulton is still alive. Yay!

The worst thing is: DID YOU FIND IT? I need closure.

If not, she can have mine. It clashes with my Order of Lenin, anyway.

(Note: one of these awards may really be a Golden Rough on a string.)

I WANT TO SING A MARIEKE HARDY SONG
I WANT TO HEAR A G STRING SNAP………..

Just for once, I’d like to read something from Ms Fits that doesn’t read like its been squeezed out of a colostomy bag.

Just for once, I’d like to see something from Ms Fits that would convince me that she is something more than a spoiled, selfish brat who wanders around with a fully-grown daikon radish shoved up her arse.

What pisses me off about Fits is this.

We are in what seems to be a state of terminal social decline. The place is run by and on behalf of a bunch of corrupt, grasping sociopaths.

People are stringing themselves up all over the joint. The footpaths are covered in puke. Walk just one block on practically any street in the inner city and you’ll see at least one instance of every disadvantage and degradation the human condition is capable of producing.

Mad Max himself wouldn’t set foot in any of the outer suburbs. The sheer brutal ugliness of it all is enough to knock the breath out of your chest and drop you on your hands and knees.

If you’ve got a real job then you’re working hours not seen since the industrial revolution. If you’ve got a shit job, you’re nothing more than a glorified slave. People are treated like barnyard animals.

Everyone is on the bare bones of their fucking arse; you can’t even afford the basic right to have a roof over your fucking head any more.

Now there is not much that Fits and the like can actually do about any of this, but she has a modicum of celebrity and therefore a small following and therefore a little bit more influence in the grand scheme of things than a nobody.

You’d think that every now and again she’d get angry about some of the shit we’re having shoved down our necks and write something about it, but no, all it seems that Ms Fits is interested in is dressing up like a clown and writing name-dropping, self-aggrandising, excremental yellow drivel such as the above.

The extent of Fit’s commitment to getting the place back on track is to put a picture of a pompous right-wing prick who looks like Alexander Downer’s fag from Geelong Grammar on her website with the instruction not to fuck up written on it, which is the one thing that you can guarantee, as night follows day, will happen.

And Mikeed1313, what are you doing to help/fix our so called tragic society?

"Pot"
"Sorry, what was that kettle?"

Drawing immature little cartoons and mentioning poo every few words. Our own shit eating Bono right here in Melbourne. All hail Captain Bitter!

.

Anon 10.23am,

Just ignore it and it will go away, eventually.

If those are your views MikeeD, there are probably other targets you could go after who are even more famous and much more responsible for the state of the world.

But they're not as pretty are they? I think early diagnoses of post-adolescant-unrequited-crush were probably accurate.

mikey, you weasal, i thought you had been banned. now to the crux of the matter, why are you so creepy?

Please give us a review of James Fenton's poem In Paris with You on Friday. I think it could be better, that a few lines are lazy, but I still like it very much and I'm interested in knowing what you think of it. You can find it at The Poetry Archive site.

Do you think there's a chance Kevin Rudd might screw up his chances of winning the election by fucking someone other than his wife?

Hello 2.25 I don't know if I was banned or hacked, but I'm Back! It was a funny old day, that one. I don't think thats Fits is that big an hypocrite to ban anyone, not after that little spray at Mia, who at least gets out of bed every day and does something.

The other thing about Mia is she provides a distraction to the beer drinking classes, who in the abscence of this would be coming after you and me and Fits with baseball bats and sharp stuff.

Just ask Marie-Antoinette and the Russian guy with the funny hat what happens when the proles get uppity! I'll be they'd not have knocked back Mia!

I'm creepy because its fun. I'm actually a lovely fellow, so much so that its commented upon, this loveliness of mine! Part of the reason I'm such a nice boy is because I get rid of my negativity having fun!

Yo Mikee:

http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/06/14/frequently-whimpered-whines-the-nice-guy-tm-theme-song/

mikeed what happened this GREAT idea from your blog:
"Hmmm. I’m not going to do this any more, because I’ve upset a person who I like and respect. It’s a six degrees of separation thing. I’ll put up some writing and comics every now and again, stay tuned."

If. bloody. only.

Thanks for clearing up for us your motivations for singling out Ms Fits, who knew that one woman could be responsible for our "terminal social decline"?

I could go on and on about the depths of your idiocy mikeed but what I really want to say is simple: EAT SHIT FUCKHEAD.

Ah, that's better.

Hi there, 6.52. I had to rethink the whole 'don't do this any more thing'. I'm not as experienced at this as Fits, so I jumped the gun a bit.

I Do like mikeed1313AW, but you can't just stop doing something because you've upset someone. Mikeed1313AW is going places in her career and she's nearly as old as Fits, so she's just going to have to get used to reading things she doesn't like.

What is it with this demographic that impels them to behave like twelve year olds right up to the day they go in for a hip replacement?

I won't be eating shit, It's a chicken maryland in red wine sauce for me tonight! Cheap, tasty and hearty grub, perfect for a cold night.

Thank you Cod, I've had a look at the blog and think that I'll enjoy chatting to them!

Be sure 'n do some cartoons Mikeed. Call them "bitches". Double dare!


[word verification xtclo: 70's electro-rock super group]

Hello 2.53. I read James Fenton's Paris poem, and I have to say, Clancy of the Overflow is looking pretty good right now.

You've probably had a sub-arachnoid haemorrhage. Have your significant other elevate your torso to a forty-five degree angle and call 000.

Don't feed the troll.

Word verification: OKXOY

OK, hugs and kisses, you?

What I'm trying to do here Mavis, is feed the troll to the feminists.

completely off topic, but somehow fitting. which one deserves the medal?

http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/stab-victim-continued-masturbating/2007/06/20/1182019174853.html

Hello from under the bridge! Its the troll! Tonight I've had salmon, grilled in the Japanese way, which requires that you slash the skin and rub salt into the flesh and leave it to marinate for one hour before popping it under the grill.

It is a very good way to deal with oily fish; the salt draws out the oils, which caramalise on the surface of the fish. The result, with lemon juice, or ponzu sauce if you've been good and made a supply, is very yummy.

Now, what I'd like to know tonight is, have any of the crew ever accidently soiled themselves? You know, the wet fart, or being caught short and having to allow some rectal seepage.

Did you keep the underpants (if worn) and how did approach the task of returning them to service, cleaning them, as it were?

Please ban Mikeed1313 from your blog, moderate the comments for gods sake!
I am really not wanting to read anymore while I know he is sullying the blog and you seem to not care. It's a all a bit Ben Elton for my tastes. Good luck with it, hope the publicity works of that what you are after.

Ease up on yourself, 7.22. I'd say its the weather. My own body has had a hard time adapting to this very sudden change in the climatic conditions.

For the last three weeks I've hardly been out of bed before eleven myself.

I think that I've asked a fair, if unconvential question, out of a genuine desire for knowledge.

Perhaps that is what's upsetting you. Perhaps you have the results of just such an accident sitting in a bucket of water in your laundry, and you've lost confidence; become fretful about what to do.

Don't worry, I'm sure that one of the RYWHM family will be able to move us forward.

Try a snifter of whiskey in a mug of Milo before bed.

PS Don't forget that that it's the Art Festival in High Street 3070 tonight, six to nine. There will be free booze the length of the street, aand all you'll have to do is look at some horrible paintings, which you won't even notice by the time you stagger out of the third gallery! See you there.

That's it. I am done. Mikeed1313 has done their job successfully. Making a Milo and finding another blog to read!
Any recommendations?

Sorry you've had to leave, 12.33. May your ears never turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders, as once happened to me, but then again, I may just have been drunk. Come to think of it, that WAS the night I ended up in the cells at Preston PS without really knowing how I got there. Hmmm.......

Re another blog, try this one. http://thehurgofurgleblurtnick.blogspot.com/

Oh no I Googled it... oh no, oh dear. I know you're not accepting any blame, but oh - oh dear...

I do enjoy learning about new things though.