No really, tell me what you think.
Last night I went out to dinner with a few handsome and upstanding friends, and was entertaining them with a story about the time I tried to convince Gabi that during a couple of idle moments lazing about at home I had inserted my finger into my dog's vagina.
The whole point of this story was pretty much to highlight a) how gullible Gabi was, and b) how repulsive and horrifying it is to me that my best friend in the whole world could believe I'd be crass enough to jam a digit into Bob Ellis' most private of places.
Gabi: (looking stunned) But did you...you know...move it around when it was in there?
Me: God no. I just left it there for a bit then took it out. I'm not weird.
Gabi: And what did Bob Ellis do?
Me: Just looked vaguely bemused.
Gabi: Good lord.
Me: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY THINK THIS IS TRUE LOL I AM FULL OF OFFENSE.
Gabi: YOU GOT ME GOOD THERE ROFLCOPTR etc.
*******
So you can imagine how delighted I was to discover that for the better part of the tale's re-telling I was stared at by three slack-jawed beloveds who ALSO PRESUMED I WAS CAPABLE OF SUCH AN ACT.
Campbell: So let me get this straight...you didn't stick your finger in Bob Ellis' vagina?
Me: Of course I didn't! That's the whole point of the story. Why would anyone think I might do such a thing?
Tim: Because you were bored?
Mitch: Actually, I can kind of picture what your face would look like when you were doing it.
Campbell: Yeah, me too. Sort of...
Tim: Detached. But curious.
Campbell: Exactly.
Me: What do you mean, 'when'? I DIDN'T DO IT!
********
Sometimes it's better not knowing what your friends really think of you.
p.s. That's right, I haven't been blogging much lately. Oh, you noticed? Thanks. Instead I've been out in the sunshine, basking in the love of a good man, and working like a trojan. Regular transmission will resume when I'm darn well ready. I thank you for your patience/postcards.
8 days til the next election.
Comments
Of course I was doing this for medical reasons; I was unblocking anal glands (known universally as anals by vet nurses apparently).
You, on the other hand, are just a pervert
Nice insertion finger story . I have been playing a sick out believe me game since birth with my blood. Most times it is more sick out. I have been suckered once. The tale was of a wrapped cheese slice swallowed, then put out and investigated with a poker to see if it stayed the same shape.Sucker I am I am
Enjoy yourself, thanks for the return
I mean.... no, why would you be?
You're sick.
But it is good to hear that you have been working on a man like a trojan. Or is that the man has a trojan on and has been working you....I don't know anymore, but congrats anyway....and keep up the good work :)
*scratches melon*
This must be some kind of sociological experiment in gathering hundreds of comments that begin with: HUR HUR HURR
At least Bob Ellis wouldn't have looked as embarrassed as she did when you dressed her in the tutu.
Hur Hur Hur
I have never actually touched a woman but I'd do anything to impress them"
I'd say you're halfway there already, Binxy my friend. Maybe just a few more comments along these lines and it's a done deal.
I did however notice a recent mention of Marieke’s purported Second Life identity Galatea Juran. It was removed rather swiftly, presumably by one of Marieke’s countless cyberspace minions.
After reading the mindless profanity generated by a thoroughly pointless topic I have to say..What a load of tripe...
You are better than this. Maybe regular sex has changed your ability, much like a happy country and western performer cant write a good song about lost love or a dead horse...Time to dump this love interest and become human again...or at least moderately depressed like the rest of us!!!!
(sorry, dunno how to make good links)
that said, fits, love is better anyway. look at me. I'm drunk, single, and entirely unwilling to even attempt decent capitalisation and decent punctuation. my point? i don't even know.
Trying to impress Marieke with your rambling insanity?
time and a place.
http://sarahsilverman.comedycentral.com/index.jhtml?c=vc&videoId=109199
decorum people!
(irony noted)
i wuv winky binxy.
Comments are closed.