Taking_notes
Ms Fits is an irritatingly smug 32 year-old television writer who yearns to be Bob Ellis but will settle for Bob Hart. At least he gets free meals. Pompous nobjockey.

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Events

    What am I, your social calendar? Go outside and play some stick-ball.


Inventive

WED12MAR

Not sorry.





*ring ring*











'Hello?'






'G-Bus?'






'Le Bean! Long time no talk! Wassup?'





'I just wanted to say something.'






'Mm?'






'....I'm...not sorry.'






'.......'





'I'm just...I'm not. I'm not sorry.'





'About what, li'l buddy?'




'About...everything. Anything.'





'Okay.'






'I done good. When I was boss.'







'You sure did, pocket warrior. You did real good.'






'And I'm not sorry.'





'You know what?'





'What?'





'I'm not sorry either.'






'Good.'






'We did real fine.'







'Yes.'







'And people know that.'








'They know that we're not sorry.'






'You got it.'







'.......................'








'..........'






'George?'





'Yes?'






'....I miss you.'







'.................'






'You still there?'






'Sure.'






'.....................'







'...............................'






'Sometimes I just like to sit here and listen to you breathing.'







'..............................'






'.............................'






'Well Titch, I gotta bust. I'm glad we had this chat.'






'Me too.'





'What are you gonna do with all your free time now, huh?'





'Oh, a number of things. Enjoy myself.'








'.............................'









'Maybe a little petanque.'









'...Well, that's peachy. You stay sweet.'









'Roger that.'








'Ciao.'













*click*



















































































































































































'....I'm not sorry.'
















































































































































































'Hello?'









74 comments.

Comments

12Mar10:15
U4iK said...
Why is George talking into the wrong end of the phone?????
12Mar10:31
Rhi said...
OH MY GOODNESS! He is too.
12Mar10:34
Anonymous said...
Not even two brain cells between U4iK and Rhi.
Please pay more attention, this is a "classic" photo.
12Mar10:35
squib said...
tee hee photoshopped

But it looks so natural that he should be holding it like that
12Mar10:43
Dr Nic said...
Love it Fitzy. And from the six seconds I heard on radio before running out the door, you're up for a Bloggy? Nice!
12Mar10:47
Christian said...
Well done.

Someone should send the picture of Bush to Washington with the intention of posting it on the staff portrait wall.
12Mar11:30
Shermozle said...
Small problem: this assumes W is taking the rodent's calls these days. Nothing so ex as an ex-PM eh?
12Mar11:32
N said...
And THIS is why I read blogs at work! A solid gold ring ring like this puts me in fine form all day! Lucky for my co-workers..
12Mar11:48
Jeremy said...
He'll take his calls when he's an ex too. And maybe a Still-President with a lot of time on his hands likes to reminisce.
12Mar11:59
BigMattStud said...
*Sniff* You know, this almost makes me feel sorry for the little man.

Almost, but luckily I re-read the article where he says saying sorry is a mistake and I realised again what a complete fuckknuckle he is.
12Mar12:06
The Last Scientician said...
"I think our sense of national pride is stronger now than it was in the 1990s, less ambiguous, and that's tremendously important."







Thanks John, a job well done.
12Mar12:07
melba said...
[stands up and claps fits]

excellent work.
12Mar12:16
Anonymous said...
That was shit.
12Mar12:52
Kaleu Big said...
I always knew John was lying, this confirms it

http://www.maniacworld.com/George_Bush_on_American_Dad.htm

Nice one ,regarding your award
12Mar12:57
sp_bookish said...
For those like me who hadn't heard the news, Ms Fits' blog (this very one!) is the recipient of the 2008 Bloggie award for Best Australian or New Zealand Weblog: see http://2008.bloggies.com/. Huzzah!

'Maybe a little petanque.' Heh.
12Mar13:22
Arnie Kamzoil said...
Makes me wish I could spend my time sticking it to the man and winning awards... congrats on the bloggie :D

And added congrats on being worth $5k on ebay, nicely high class.
12Mar13:23
Stijn said...
Fun read. You could put this in a slideshow to save up vertical space.
12Mar14:00
Rose said...
Nice work Fits, it was un-shit.
12Mar14:04
Anonymous said...
Just priceless.
12Mar14:13
Hellglitter said...
Congrats - just picked up the news on the Bloggy award.
Chuckled madly over the Howard Bush love-in piece above. There's something vaguely Brokeback Mountain about it. Now if Howard could just die of a drug overdose, it would be perfect.
Oh come on - he's already played the Joker for 10 years.
12Mar14:19
Dr Nic said...
Wait? You won the thing, not just nominated? Sheeeeit. Sorry Fitzy – I'll listen for more than 6 seconds next time. Congrats.
12Mar14:31
richwell said...
We are not sorry either. Not sorry he is gone.
12Mar15:01
Son of Reep said...
Some of us are Sorry he is gone and when KRudd fucks it up (add Swan to that) we will all be sorry!
12Mar15:17
Bros said...
Tee hee.

Made my day.

*giggles*

Phone upside down.....

*chortle*

he is such a spaz.

Oh BTW - loved the stoned MP's too and congrats on the award.
12Mar15:18
Mick said...
Aaaah Johnny,

One day we'll be glad we lived in an age when giving it to the PM was so easy.

This is fucking funny as hell. :)
12Mar15:19
Anonymous said...
my scrolling finger hurts. the extra parts at the end were a bit shit. rest was ok.
12Mar15:20
richwell said...
Now I am sorry, Son of Reep. Sorry to hear you hold such a poor opinion of the majority of us.
12Mar15:21
random said...
Good blog, shame about the nausea -inducing ,sycophantic fan club/me toos.
12Mar15:22
Anonymous said...
i kinda like that it wasn't a slideshow.

i liked the little wait in between each comment (some even bigger than others) - made the payoff much more entertaining!
12Mar16:00
Anonymous said...
Why are you still bagging out Howard and Bush? Aside from the fact that you've been wrong about them all along (you vacuous dunderhead), ISN'T IT TIME TO MOVE ON and prove that this vitriolic spite you've been brimming with all these years was actually motivated by some kind of political passion, rather than mere irrational hatred?

You won the blog award - what, didn't Tim Blair nominate this year?
12Mar16:03
Rose said...
Geez after the lashing I received last week for having the relatively anonymous name of Rose...just wondering how many people are using the nom de plume: Anonymous. I don't think all the above Anonymous postings are from the same person? Some 'Anonymous' postings are nice, we are not accustomed to having a nice 'Anonymous'. Perhaps the good 'Anonymous' should take on a more colourful title. You don't want to be mistaken for bad 'Anonymous'.
12Mar16:10
jean wilder said...
"shame about the nausea -inducing ,sycophantic fan club/me toos"

well, maybe that's because anyone who reads this blog and makes a return visit .... likes it ... and likes what they read.

only deranged nutters would keep visiting a site that they didn't like.
12Mar16:10
¿johnman¿ said...
Congrats on winning that Bloggie, and even if your parents don't understand how big a win it is, many others do, including news.com.au they gave you a nice spot on their front page under Technology.
12Mar16:32
richwell said...
Perhaps Anonymous is a pseudonym for troll. Rose, just don't feed them and maybe they will find a name (and a life) of which they, and us, can be proud.
12Mar17:28
Mad Cat Lady said...
Surely the whole point of being anonymous is to be anonymous and therefore if there are other opposing anonymous' it just makes it more anonymous and ... um ... i think i confused myself - congrats blog - pictures good
12Mar17:34
shanel said...
Congrats on the Bloggie, hilarious post. That was much more fun than doing those tedious Q&A things, wasn't it?
12Mar17:35
Renée said...
Pétanque? But, but... that's French! Oh no! George wouldn't like that. Shouldn't it be called Freedom Bowls?
12Mar17:53
Anonymous said...
Jesus, I think I just wet my pants laughing.
12Mar18:52
Anonymous said...
I love you.
12Mar19:07
mickleberry said...
oh i needed a laugh, after hearing that dirty old wheel had rolled back into the street lights, with his dirty old opinions all a-blaring.

thanks ;-]

.. especially for the insanely creepy line about listening to the G-bus breathing.

i haz Too Much Funny in yr blog.
12Mar19:28
ellie fants said...
Well done. An excellent depiction.

Do you think Johnny would wear something a little more daring for their long distance convos though?
12Mar20:35
alicia said...
There is only one word (and I use the term loosely) which sums this up.

ROFLMAO.

Which is a word I believe I first read in an article of yours in a very pretty magazine.

Which is weird seeing as I'm one of those 24/7 Myspace kids.

Anyway.

ROFLMAO
ROFLMAO
:)
12Mar20:51
nat said...
I love a good ring ring.

And that was a corker.
12Mar21:01
Its funny cuz its really long. its like 20 full screens tall. i like the 'faker' like long pause also
12Mar21:08
TheLadyScarlett said...
LOLZATRON 3000!!!!!!!!1!

I've been waiting for your response on this - perfect! Ring Ring, oh how I've missed ye!!!
12Mar21:12
Anonymous said...
Greetings from Tim Blair
12Mar21:58
Shelsta78 said...
@The Last Scientician

when I heard the speech on the radio this is exactly the vision I had in my head.

Snap
12Mar22:27
Perseus said...
"'Sometimes I just like to sit here and listen to you breathing.'"

Gold, Fits. I was having a bad day. This cheered me up.
12Mar23:12
SeanM said...
Ohhh I geddit. You hate John Howard and George Bush. That is soooo funny!!! Pure genius!!
12Mar23:51
TheLadyScarlett said...
No SeanM, I think it is *you* that is the genius...
13Mar00:28
stringer said...
still laughing 10 minutes later ... genius ...
13Mar01:15
An Anonymous Coward said...
Is it scary that this is how I've imagined these two to talk to each other for all these years?

Grats on the bloggie as well Fits.
13Mar01:44
Rose said...
Maybe deep down I am troll lover and I like feeding them....hate the saying though.
13Mar04:02
murph said...
Nice award fuckhead!
13Mar07:14
taxidriver said...
girlies writing blogs (and on radio, tele, getting awards) - what is going on with my world. come back little jh. save me from this madness.
ps it's the phone holding george up-side-down
13Mar09:07
Poor 'lil fella said...
Is that a photo of Blair behind the Dub? Was he cheating on our very own? I haven't been this upset since our other fav son-in-law Tom Cruise cheated on Nic!
13Mar10:19
EclecticEccentric said...
That does look like (half a) photo of Blair behind GB.

Doesn't that strike anyone else as being creepy?!

Sure, his phone number on speeddial maybe, but at framed photo (a personal-ish item) of a 'work colleague'?
13Mar12:00
Samantha said...
What happened to you Ms. Fits? You used to be cool. Get over the 'sorry' business already.
It's been said, you got your way. We can move on, and they can go ahead and ask for all the money they want for being "wronged" because by saying 'sorry' we've basically admitted all guilt when really, WE WERE ONLY TRYING TO HELP.
13Mar14:08
Ally said...
See the photo of Bush - is that seriously a photo of Tony Blair behind him??
13Mar14:37
K said...
People are so funny.
I'm far more right-wing than you Fitzy, and remain unconvinced on the Yay Kev Kev thang yet, but I still enjoy a good Johnny bashing.
Even though on some levels I still miss the boy...

Congrats on your Bloggie win - t'was well deserved.
13Mar15:13
Son of Reep said...
richwell, it is not that I have a poor opinion of the (slender) majority. I feel that you were just misled by the Kev07 bullshit and sucked in by the $110million bullshit advertising campaign by the ACTU for little Kevie's benefit. But when Kevie and DerWayne fuck it up we will all be sorry.
13Mar17:06
Ashlee said...
That is hilarious!!!!! But possibly scarily accurate...
13Mar17:17
epon_anon said...
"you were just misled"
You were just voted out.
"we will all be sorry"
There's no "we" in Loserville, just you.
13Mar18:33
Spike said...
Fitsy - congratulations on the Bloggie.

Ellie Fants - look where his hand's heading.
14Mar13:52
stupidteen said...
Fits, that is frigging hilarious.
And I think all the breakfast crew are funny and wonderful. You three aren't political parties! There is no need for bloggers to be egging for one and not the other.
And usually I hate Frankie. Usually I think it is pretentious and trying too hard to be 'cool' (in an avante gard way). But this month's issue is beautiful. And wonderful. And maybe I have just grown up.
14Mar14:21
jo_blue said...
Hysterical!! The photo of W IS a classic - captures him as the dumb-ass he really is. And Johnnie, so clueless. Loved it.
14Mar15:33
fdb said...
"See the photo of Bush - is that seriously a photo of Tony Blair behind him??"

Yes, but like the phone cord, it's photoshopped in.

Funny but.
15Mar13:57
surroundsound said...
thank you ms fits, i enjoyed it. but i don't know how you put up with all the smart arse, mean spirited comments. why can't people be nice? i may not agree with everything everyone says...BIG DEAL, i don't expect everyone to agree with me. there's no need to be nasty.
16Mar20:39
chai said...
That is so sad. _That_ man never stops giving. Sad sad old man. Sad old broken man.
18Mar14:12
dogmaticdiscordian said...
Fantastic work Ms Fits, love it :)
18Mar14:32
Magnus said...
Excellent!
18Mar17:04
Roslyn said...
Congratulations - this is the best celebration of the end of the horrid years. Don't make it a slide show the belly laugh at the end wouldn't be so great. Love your work.
19Mar00:19
Petering Time said...
Best scroll-down joke to end the day with.
Loved Dubbya's phone holding technique.
And the strange red spot which appears behind JWH's head.
The man on the grassy knoll was obviously laughing too hard.
11May13:13
mellow yellow said...
blah... it was okay

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