Part one in a series for the 'kids'.
Everyone knows politics is kind of boring and hard to understand if you're young and full of thrilling hormones. Who the hell is Kerry Chikarovski and why should you care? Why does John Faulkner insist on wearing those glasses that make him look like a closeted gay 1980's PE Teacher*? Was Andrew Bolt really in a band when he was a young man and should that make you 'rock the vote' even harder**?
I'm going to make it easy for you, teens. I'm going to help you out by touching you via a medium you can understand - music. And I will be able to do this easily as I am quite 'now' and people of all colours want to be in my crew.
This is Malcolm Fraser . He was Prime Minister back in the 1970's when your parents tripped on acid and fucked strangers in parks. Back then, everyone thought he was a bumlord of the highest order. These days, though, he's an incredibly outspoken guy on things such as children in detention and apartheid. He's even, get this, an opponent of the Howard Government.
This is John Farnham. You might know him via the inexplicably toolish moniker 'Whispering Jack'. He sings noisy power ballads that make your grandma moist in the gusset. There is hardly a performer in Australia who is more MOR and cheesecore. And yet, when developers threatened to rip the guts out of stalwart music venue The Espy , ol' Jack got back to his roots and did a gig there. He also donated a huge wad of cash to Melbourne's Triple R FM , which is where I do my radio show. So in a way I've been personally touched by the hand of Farnham. That makes my nipples a bit hard.
What do these men have in common? They're both people you don't particularly want on your side. You're used to seeing them as the enemy, someone who stands for everything you don't and is easy to talk shit about in the pub. And yet there they are, standing shoulder to shoulder with you in a way that makes you feel totally creeped out. Way to go them and their personal politics, though.
*Glaucoma. But this isn't particularly cool unless he's smoking pot to 'cure' it.
** Yes and yes.
38 days to go.
Comments
Malcom crossing the Rubicon,
your post made me sing and dance.
Though you forgot to mention the incident;
Fraser, hotel foyer - not wearing any pants.
I cannot express enough how much I am loving the poetry element to your comments. Bravo Darp.
Remember when Farnham made a guest appearance on Home & Away in the Whispering Jack era? Bobbie and Sally won tickets to his concert or something...
Home & Away Special Guest - Johnny Farnham,
Screaming out his raspy gullet.
A comp between him and Alex Papps,
To see who had the better mullet.
Sorry, I just had to give that little nugget of gold some more exposure, posted it on my blog along with some nice pics.
Where is Alex Papps. The Henderson Kids II, H&H, The Factory (with Andrew Daddo) ...now..?
Oooh! I'd be very careful dissing Alex Papps to Ms Fits, Darp! As much as she loves your poetry, she happens to be close personal friends with Pappsie! (Well, she snogged him once in a bar or something - she can correct me on that one if she wants.)
I made the mistake a few moons ago of using The Hon Mr Papps as the punchline to one of my gags in a personal email to Ms Fits, and she promptly put me back in my place!
You forget - she has "Australian Television Icon" showbiz connections!
Speaking personally, however, I loved the dig at the mullets of both Farnsy and Pappsie. Keep 'em coming!
It just occurred to me that you may very well know what you're doing. You may know Ms Fits much better than I do - maybe you're stirring her intentionally.
Hell, for all I know, you might be Alex Papps!
So my apologies if I've trodden on your gag. Otherwise, take heed of my warning. You don't want Ms Fits turning on you like a rabid dog.
(She used to be an avid 'Whispering Jack' fan, and look how easily she's about-faced and attacked "our Johnny" - not to be confused with "Little Johnny", who Ms Fits has always hated.)
I'm friends with Alex Papps' sister. Don't be dissing him, he's a lovely bloke!
I'm sure he's a champion dude and if you follow the link you'll see that I don't diss the mullet too hard, matter of fact my own metrosexual mullet is started to resemble his circa The Henderson Kids II era.
Pappsie pashed Nadine Gardner and Bobbie (Nicole Simpson?) so ...I dunno if going the raunch with him is exactly a badge of honour.
I only "met" Ms Fits yesterday ..but if she's as devilishly evil ALL THE TIME ..and this isn't just a purple patch of wittiness, then I'd sure as fuck like to know her better (wink).
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