Reasons you will hate me

I'm hoping it's "i) all of the above" -- in which case, I can't wait to see it!

'Close your eyes for a moment and imagine...Larry Emdur...a tap-dancing dream...and a fuckload of crystal meth'

This happens every time I close my eyes!

YOU REALLY MUST SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP, GROVERJONES.

Anything, please, just not c)!
Oh and not g) too. I'm sure Mark Mitchell is a very nice man, probably in need of some tv work right now, but please...
I'd actually pay good money to see d) and h), though.

No idea which one. But good luck anyway - I hope it went well.

Pitching's harder than a honeymooner's !

Isn't G already in production? I think it's called THE WEDGE.

My guess is "Billy Elliot meets The Club".

Incidentally, in option (h)are we talking Alf from Summer bay ("Stone the crows, Ailsa!") or Alf from Melmac ("No problem!"). Either would be great.

Oooh! F!! F!!

I hope you wore your kneepads, hon

ps: did you get my snow dome ?

*secretly hopes it is i) "joey dee: an inspirational life"*

*takes a punt at C* (but really hopes its D - it would shit over dancing with the 'stars'.

I was hoping for "The Secret Life of Ringworms - The Musical", but you continue to disappoint. It would probably be too muffled anyway.

Note the possibility of incorporating ALF into this idea. Yes? Yes!

Billy Elliot, though.

Ohh Ms Fits, I can't believe you stole ALL my ideas. You are a bigger plageriser than Piers Acneman.

you've totally gone populist middle aged-desperate housewife

So lock in A please Eddie.

Please please please let it be tap-dancing Larry with meth!!!!

I worship at the altar of your creative juices Ms Fits!

I give up. No matter how good an idea, any production company seems to have a way of turning it all into a pile of mindless shit anyway.

I still like the idea of Everybody loves Bolta

it's e. for sure.

It's f, a miniseries and a logie for Ms Fits. I'm sure Sigrid can do Bali hair just fine.

If you pitched me "'It's like Shirley Valentine meets Sea Change'" I'd point out that Sea Change was already like Shirley Valentine. So I hope for your sake it wasn't that.

I liked "Sea Change" more when it was called "Northern Exposure" and it was on Channel 10.

'Coupla Days' is a criminally underused title for TV programmes.
So you know what I'm crossing my fingers and toes for.

I have been pitching a book lately; I feel intensely like both a prostitute AND my pimp.

"Wank wank 'youth slant' wank wank 'untapped market' wank wank 'cachet'..."

You're a novelist, Clem? Can I pitch you my tv pitches so we can pitch the novelisation of our series?


p.s. pitch.
p.p.s. It is Alf who eats the cats and not Alf from Home and Away.

Clem: I love it already! Just a suggestion for the ending, though: perhaps we could have it finish with "ka-ching!". What do you think?

If it is f), as I suspect, I'd suggest you pitch in the future as 'Sylvania Waters meets the Indonesian legal system'. Starring ST, of course.

I'm hoping its "h".

And if that's the case is there any chance you could get Mrs Garrett to make a cameo?

I think d) wouyld be a frikken shoe-in if i could switch a letter please larry - change tap to lap.

larry emdur lapdancing a crystal meth. de ja vu

My guess is for f), my reasoning that youth demographic + sport = television wet dream. I wait with bated breath, fits. so answer us, before i turn blue and pass out!

Chants: Billy... Billy... Billy!

Ms Fits - even better, I'm a YOOF/HUMOUR/POP CULTURE-IST.

Let's go crazy with the self-referential intertextuality.

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I think you meant e), Richard? Billy Elliot meets The Club?

I agree. A sport setting with plenty of room for the gay-rape paranoia so popular in ads these days. Maybe always.

It's all of the above. It's the reality TV show 'The Pitch' where Clem and Ms Fits get to make a pitch for Eddie McGuire then get secretly filmed when they make out in the Green Room.

dude.

love you blog. reminds me of my style of writing.

PS you better be a hot chick.

*starts singing*

"violent shoulders and ms fits sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g..."

please let it be g or h. please.

ps. toni pearen would play schappers. not sigrid thornton.

Damn you Buck Fudd, you've revealed my illiteracy in a public forum. How can I ever hold my head high in public again? Yes, I did indeed mean option e)Billy Elliot meets The Club. And having chatted to various footballers about the homosocial and homoerotic shenannigans that go on in such a setting I have no doubt of the televisual attractiveness of such a show....although I'm not sure if a room full of straight blokes wanking together while slavering over porn would get past the censors...

Can I have a letter C please? :)

Alf came from Melmac and lived next door to the Orkmonicks. he tried to eat their cat.

I'm have an 8 yr old reading age, i AM your demographic.

With that said hit me with the Golden girls, Dorothy, and and Rose, God bless Rose and the slut, never forget the slut, you could always get one away in the toilets thinking about blanche and the syliva oh sylvia.

Yes, give me someone with old ladies talking about sex and stuff.

Oh god please let it be d) please...

I thinking ...

Alf from Melmac and his long-lost twin brother Alf from Summer Bay double-end Siggy with great encouragment from Larry the Meth Dealer as he searches for the meaning of life, the universe and ...

TONI PEARON?

Did someone say TONI PEARON?

My god, there has never been a greater waste of space on Australian television than that utter slapper.

Tie me down and horsewhip me if I'm wrong ... but she is ATROCIOUSNESS PERSONIFIED.

And that's coming from someone who rarely has a harsh word for anyone.

Oh, and can I please nominate my 'quote of the week' winner?

Ms Julia Gillard for; "For God's sake Tony, it's not about YOU!"

xxxxxxxxxx

I can't even pitch my own work to myself. So if it was me doing the pitch, I would end up saying something along the lines of "B".

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