Please don't (re: your hat).
I couldn't sleep last night as I am quite artistic and troubled, so I got up to watch the gesticulation army snatch a World Cup win.
Aside from the usual bitching and grousing over how even though the Italianos sure play some mighty defence they still fucking suck when they sook to the refs, I was interested enough to stay up after the final whistle to watch them run screaming all over the pitch touching each other on the bottom.
They appeared to be suitably excited about their win and swarmed the podium accordingly to touch their trophy:
Mama Mia, etc.
Fine. Nice for them. They had obviously gathered accoutrements along the way and draped themselves in national colours.
That's when I noticed one of the players was wearing a hat like this:
Please note: THESE ARE THE FUCKING STUPIDEST HATS EVER IN EXISTENCE.
I hate them. I hate them. Why would someone actually choose to wear them in a public environment? Why would they even wear them in the privacy of their own fucking home? WHY ARE THEY SO TALL AND PUFFY AND FUCKING FUCKED?
Me: (to television) Whatever you do, don't put that silly hat on the World Cup, young man.
Now I hate them even more. I DESPISE SILLINESS, YOU HEARD IT.
On a far more positive note:
He's behiiiiiiiiiind you....
Now I am going to go and stab myself.
488 days til the next election.
Comments
don't do it, fits. we need you for the coming arockalypse...
Not a fan of the zany hat either.
Strangely enough it was the French that gesticulated their way into getting a penalty.
Zizou just used his head.....
I hate zany hats in general. They give us hat wearers a bad name too. We have nothing to do with them.
Strangely enough it was the French that gesticulated their way into getting a penalty
It's a little known fact that the French gesticulate as much as the Italians. I never realised this until I lost all my wine glasses.
I'm glad the world cup is over for another four years.
I was crushingly devo again this morning.
I couldn't cope with the on-going crushingness of it all.
On the Howard and Costello note, I can't say how fucking fun this story is getting.
If you weren't sure whether Howard was a slimy cunt, and Costello was a smug little fuck:
a. um, where the fuck have you been … seriously?
b. it is now undeniable.
It is FUCKING GENIUS that Howard made a promise, and that Costello is shitty about him breaking it.
Suck it up Costello, what did you expect? Welcome to what it feels like to be a citizen of Australia for the past decade.
They are indeed silly hats.
But for mine, when you've leapt above the French defence to equalise the World Cup final by burying a smashing header, well, you can wear, and do what you like with, whatever sort of silly hat you want.
Paddy hats with the green top and the faux orange hair are not very nice either.
But, hats aside, a large foam finger at a sporting occassion is a wonderful thing, is it not?
Had the Labor Party been in power, and Beazley broken a promise to Swan, you can be sure all the usual right-wing polemics would be on it.
"More disunity in the party."
"In-house fighting."
"Labor couldn't lead their way out of a wet paper bag."
"Kim Beazley tells lies (and he's fat)."
Underwhelming,
"Suck it up Costello, what did you expect? Welcome to what it feels like to be a citizen of Australia for the past decade."
HEAR, HEAR!
Fits - please no stabbing of yourself. That way leads to the bleeding and the crying and the exposing of internal organs that really ought not see the light of day. I recommend clubbing yourself instead. If this proves difficult, just pretend you're a baby seal.
John's been fucking Australia for 10 years now even after he said I could have sloppy seconds.
It's not fair...I could root Australia more than his piddly widdly ever could.
I know you pinkos don't believe me but I have big balls. Once, in the cabinet room, Bronwyn Bishop bit them for a joke and my love nuts swelled up to the size of grapefruit.
She's always got her teeth around hairy acorns, god bless her. There we are, deciding on whether to
cut funding from schools or arts or both and, to break the tension, someone- usually Entschy- will flop his wang out for a bit of a laugh. "Put it away" Vaile always says, coz his willy is really an innie. But before you can say "there'll never ever be a GST" out comes Bronwyn and has bitten someone's knob. How we laugh.
Which is preferable to what normally goes on in the cabinet room. Usually it is Bob Katter sticking pineapples up my arse whilst Wilson Tuckey shits in my mouth. Do you know how many e-coli infections I've had since joining the Libs? That whole party is practically drowning in faeces.
Sometimes I guess I feel a bit guilty about it all and so Tony Abbott and I go and visit George in his church where we bite pillows and pray to Jebus. When I'm PM Tony, it's gonna be one for mum, one for Dad and one for Australia- don't you forget it.
I loathe zany oversized hats like I loathe St. Patrick's day & oversized waving hands.
There is nothing funny about zaniness....
....NOTHING!
Throw magicians into the same mix - watching a grown man dressed in an unfashionable tuxedo, bow tie and white gloves pull a rabbit from a top hat makes me angry ...every time.
I have just been to your Polichicks site. No wonder you can't keep your undies on!
i am actually glad the whole damn screaming and jumping at night month is over.
i agree about the hat.
In all seriousness, Hardy, do you want to go into the T-shirt business with me? I would be the designer and you would handle the commercial end of the enterprise - by which I mean both the manufacturing and selling of the product. We wouldn't have to meet in person and I would be willing to split the profits 50/50 with you. Think about it and get back to me. It wouldn't be on the same scale as Polichicks, of course.
i found that hat disturbing as well. and the provenance? Where did he get it? Little Italy, NYC, perhaps, made in China? thought the italians hate taste.
whatevs. i'm just glad they won. mean mr. head butt shouldn't hve been rewarded.
Comments are closed.