Probably the best thing you'll ever see in your life (so pay attention).
So it's time that we shared this together.
Gabi brought this home from the States as a belated birthday present for me. I took one look at the cover and saw a picture of R.Kelly and made the politest face I have ever made while inside really wondering why she didn't at least bring me home some candy or a framed picture of a glowing religious icon.
Me: Thank you so much.
Her: We need to watch it. Now.
Beat.
Me: ....oh, really? Now? (BEAT) Maybe we should catch up and drink some champagne instead.
Her: You really need to see this.
Me: I know, but...R.Kelly? The kiddie fiddler? Come on.
Her: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
And she was right.
She always is.
Trapped In The Closet is the best - and worst - thing I have ever seen in my life.
And the only - only - thing you need to know in advance is that R.Kelly is entirely serious throughout.
You can watch it in its entirety, starting from part 1, here. It'll take about forty minutes. Make yourself a cup of tea and eat a Scotch Finger.
And remember.
There is your life before Trapped In The Closet.
And there is your life after Trapped In The Closet.
486 days til the next election.
Comments
I managed to watch all of Part 1, with a mixture of curiosity and stunned disbelief. Oh God - bad. Bad. Bad.
WATCH THE REST, CATH - IT ONLY GETS BETTER. I PROMISE.
"Then she cries out 'oh my goodness I'm about to climax', and I say 'cool, climax, just let go my leg!'"
I... see.
heh.... actually the link only takes us up to the end of Chapter 5 (when we find out about the cop). Apparently we need to buy his DVD to find out what eventuates in the remaining 7 chapters! *placing my order right about now....NOT!*
I can't believe this freak actually charts with his "music" (in the US at least). What the??
WE got sent the album into MTV Mag last year (almost exactly a year ago). My dep ed, Ed, was obsessed with it – in fact we all couldn't stop listening too it. It was mental as hell! I cannot wait to see the full Hip Hopera in action.
dear god this is brilliant!
Goodbye clients, hello procrastination.
The remaining chapters (6-12) are freely available via P2P (GNU layer).
Enjoy!
What do you mean by "beat"?
is it actually really actually called 'Trapped In The Closet'? in an actual straight faced way? am i hallucinating this entire experience? to what closet does the title refer?
an amazon customer review from Sarah Pew (Hygiene, Colarado)
"9 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
This DVD Helps, June 18, 2006
Im a retired nurse who lives a lonely life in the mountains. I won a DVD player at a church raffle and this is my only DVD. My friend Josiel gave this to me for my birthday. It was my only birthday gift.
It reminds me of my romance novels. Its interesting to see what is happening among young people today. This DVD helps through the lonely times.
Id like to show it to my nephew but I dont know if hes alive.
From Sarah"
Surely not.
Gobsmacked.
Utterly.
it is the best.
can i come over to your place fits? i NEED to see what happens.
I saw this SHIT on SBS a while back. And have thankfully avoided it since.
Brilliant
Absolutely brilliant
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trapped_In_The_Closet
That has spoilers, but importantly, also has links to you tube videos for each chapter.
anonymous above, i think i love you.
fits. no need for awkwardness about me inviting myself over.
will head to youtube instead.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trapped_in_the_Closet_%28South_Park%29
snigger
So Rufus kisses Chuck right after all that Rufus Cath Chuck shouting.
I think the significance of it all was lost on me, RKelly seemed awfully involved, so emotional!
that was gold... but i have to confess i only watched the first two bits – the music's sooo fucking awful as to mitigate the breath-taking, can't-look-away-trainwreck beauty of the soap unfolding, bubble by bubble – i just read the wiki...
you want some of this:
http://myspace.com/jarvspace
and his new single, Cunts Are Still Running The World
pass it on. i want this fucker to CHART!
genius never fades.
r
why does it sound like this will be a very important decision of my life that i go and watch this thing?
i'm not sure i'm old enough to handle it.
I only watched the first one and I'm off to read the spoilers, but thought I best drop in to see if anyone else sees the similarity between it and the Family Guy episode where there's a holocaust and they run into that guy with the apple tree that describes every single move they make as a song...?
No...?
Let us never speak of this again.
yay a fits movie recommendation i'm all over it like a bum on a baloney sandwich. can't wait!
good god.
i'm just feeling for those poor tech / lighting guys. how many times did they have to watch this in rehearsals?
i'll cut you bitch,
rufus. or is it chuck? i'm so confused
Ms Altman: I got the feeling there weren't too many rehersals.
why has no one thought of rhyming bridget with midget before?
lyrical.genius
I *strongly* suggest watching Episode 4. He makes the sweet sweet love with Gwendolyne and the lyrical genius is awe-inspiring.
all last night i had that kind of riffy refrain lodged in my brain, with the high vocals.
and then again this morning when i woke up.
receded now.
ahhh, now that bit from the scientology south park episode makes a bunch more sense...
i've just lost a whole day. thanks ms fits
Did you really lose a day, Anon? Or are you just overwhelmed by life after TITC?
melbournegirl, i too awoke to find myself singing about a dresser and a baretta. he who was sharing my bed was quite concerned.
i'm not sure i can handle life after titc...
love it.
all you people who gave up watching after the first couple of episodes have missed the point - you HAVE to watch all of them - it just gets more insane and better each time....
r. kelly is completely bonkers and i'm okay with that. he calls this absurd epic his personal "hip-hopera" to the world.
i'm a fan.
..."then he notices the pie on the counter,
one slice is missin', now the story's gettin' scary, cos he comes to realise that Bridget is allergic to cherry...."
that prelude to a midget was fucking INTENSE.
i was on the edge of my seat.
i really was!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arysIraW6M8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7putw2A4FiI
How did Cathy NOT know Rupert was gay? Because.... seriously.
As the kiddies say LMAO LOL!!
Brilliant.
I was a fan of rhyming Bridget with midget too, who would've thought, an asthmatic, fainting, stripper midget with a massive shlong.
'It's just Rosey the nosey neighbour with a spatula in her hand.'
Ho Ho Ho
When you say he's completely serious, do you mean his demeanor throughout the video, or are you saying that he's really not conscious of the apparently comical nature of his material. If your saying the former, I can see it. thats just perfect comedic delivery. If your saying the latter, I'm puzzled. Theres no way you write a play that includes a midgit shitting himself in the middle of a Mexican stand off and not be gunning for laughs. Its the straight faced delivery that gives it the kick. I live in Chicago and I dont have a fucking clue why I havent seen this shit before. Its a masterpiece. It changes everything.
Best lines ever:
"Ooh, with a spatula in her hand
Like that's gon do something against them guns
It's Rosy the nosy...whoa
Neighbor...."
lol brilliant!
Comments are closed.