Reasons you will hate me

Heh.

I hope you get results from this. My lady friend and a couple of her mates had a letter-writing competition, where half the letters were complaints and half complimentary. In buth cases the more extreme the letter (without being abusive or hyper-orgasmic) the better the payoff, but the best responses and biggest haul of giveaways came from the positive letters.

ha ha I heard you talking about this with Faine and I was wondering which cereal it was. Good on you for writing a positive note, most people these days focus on the negative.

I missed that bit with Faine, but enjoyed the guests on yesterday, Kitson etc. Did you read the debate on yesterdays blog? v.entertaining. some intelligent people hang out here - who knew. (note I said "some")

Ms Fits,
I suppose working for Crikey and the ABC means you are a tad impoverished and need the odd handout from big multi nationals. Given the wide audience this little internet tome enjoys you can surely mount an argument that your testamonial amounts to a rather gracious add along the lines of those "Brandpower" spots that purport to be something more than a shameless plug for washing powder or toilet cleaner. Indeed theres a new lucrative career for you....smiling talking head on the tele!!!!!

Will we now see UO RWYWHM iron lady this summer?

Don’t knees up moments call for banana oats?

However, for really real fits lady. Oats are ace, food of the gods,of edens pantry
I have been a fan over many a moonrise and fall. This is due to my horse like qualities, yes that’s right I whinny when I wake.
I have received more from positive writing, than negative. I have even been let off parking fines , ha!
In addition to eating oats like a horse, liquid chlorophyll and vital greens in the morning are my staple product promotion. They have me acting like iggy pop singing duets with peaches

A friend of mine conducted a letter writing campaign some time ago, highlights of which included telling Pizza Hut that we were a pair of visiting Israeli students traumatised by accidentally receiving a pizza with ham on it, a semi-illiterate timber worker who had purchased a carton of beer only to find that half of them were flat and finally, in a desperate bid to get someone to actually respond with some skepticism, that he was Vordak the warlock and that McDonalds should feed him or risk the incurring his wrath.

Every one of these efforts (even the McDonalds one) actually resulted in receiving freebies from the companies concerned, so I would be very disappointed if you didn't end up with quite the supply of Oat Temptations as a result of your labors here.

PS - You write for Crikey now ? Pretty soon it's going to be easier to list the media outlets you don't appear on than the ones you do. (I was going to say that you were at risk of becoming the left-wing Eddie McGuire, but that's probably a bit harsh.)

Lame.

Lame lame lame lame.

I guess you're just a big lame.

And that's lame, not lah-may, like the shiny fabric, with an acute accent over the 'e'.

I got a jones for the new honey crunch special K, it is just brillo. Yes I said brillo.

A trainee at work showed me a fax she sent to KFC.

And I quote: I went to KFC at Bundoora last night and asked for a Bucket of chicken, and IT WAS ALL BUMS. I can't eat bums.

She got a free meal, but she didn't last long at work. We love our bums, us.

lol Barbie!

Ms Fits, just so you know, porridge is delightful in the following way: after you prepare the gruel (I recommend a large and sinister workhouse type cauldron purely for that Dickensian aesthetic), you sprinkle two spoons or more of sugar across it and then pour single cream over that

Guaranteed to have you asking for more and consequently becoming a mute at an undertaker's

Hey, have you ever tried MIXING MORE THAN ONE FLAOUR TOGETHER! It's great and I've gotta say, you haven't really lived until you've tried it.

There's nothing better than a nice warm bowl of oats for when you get hungry in the middle of the night.

Anyway that's my two cents.

I think that's a very brave post Fits.

I have been hiding my similar obsession (for me it's been the Apple & Sultana all the way, but I obviously have been missing out, for I am a 'party oat' virgin) due to fear of reprisals by porridge purists.

Do you find the amount of milk to add a problem though? I find the prescribed amount advised too little, and my oats get dry and pasty, but then I add too much and it ends up like milk with oats swimming in it, not proper porridge.

I also find one packet an unsatisfying amount, and two too much. They need to make 'adult sizes', consisting of about a packet and a half.

(I'm sorry I sound like Martha Stewart. Here I come Women's Weekly!)

I've lately been quite taken by OatBix, which are like WeetBix only with the magical oats in them. Very fine. Hope you enjoyed your Yurrop trip.

I had a friend who always complained about products, but would never complain to the manufacturers, because, he said, it was like doing their market research for them.

So, he just bitched to us instead. Jeez that guy was annoying.

I think Ms Fits is already a smiling talking head on the tele, isn't she? I turned on the tele the other day, and she was there, smiling and talking. And you could see her head, all of it.

Yeah, she could even have a cereal named after her:- 'FitsBix'
A fine way to start your day, hey.
A talking cereal, and far more melodious than 'Pock Snackle Crap.'
Which is what Little Johnny eats before he strides out in his Wallaby track-suit to scare the seagulls.

I don't think we have these fancy bits of treat in the States. I wonder what my favorite flavor would be? It seems like the list is quite endless, and could fulfill my longing for a tasty bit of sunshine in the morning. Yet, alas, I go wanting.

But Dan, don't you have all manner of tasty (albeit wrong) cereals in the US to get your required dose of sunshine? Like that cuh-razy one with actual marshmallows in it? Although I guess that one is more fluorescent than sunshiney if we're being honest...

Am I that boring that I stick to my plain old oats every morning? I do love them, and surely such a flavour sensation will make my head explode?

Ms Fits,

As you like the multinationals so much, why not come over and pay us a visit at the CreativityAlliance.com. Over there we are chock full of multinationalist protien. So much so, it would make your pretty pigtails spin.